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Sunday, November 13th, 2011

Happy Sunday! I hope everyone had as fulfilling a week as I did. Like the saying goes, a new dawn brings a new day. But this one also brings you a new installment of the latest and greatest in the world of humor. Enjoy :)

The Wizzies

  • Oh……..I got to go……..I have a phone call coming in………..caller ID “Theo”……………………maybe this is it.
  • He probably wants to know if he can use you as a way to get in contact with Eddie Vedder for lead singer of Zach Attack.
  • Famous people are pampered and loved when they are winning – just ask that Sheen guy.
  • Maybe there’s something to be learned about a manager’s personality, wits, etc. by putting him/her in a stressful and unpredictable situation. Since the law probably wouldn’t allow for Gladiator type combat in a pit with a Bear and a dulled wooden sword, he had to settle for the media show.
  • In fact I want the new guy to be cozy with the media, if he can master that relationship, he’ll have more time to focus upon more pressing issues like making sure James Russell never, ever starts a game again.
  • The big rock that flew by the earth yesterday was Bush’s fault also. Just saying.
  • I still blame Barry Bonds and Rex Grossman for all the problems in the world.
  • I blame Neifi.
  • George W spent a lot of money, but didn’t pay for it. He left it for the new regime. Kind of like what the Tribune did with Soriano…leave the albatross for the new guy.
  • I will heartily agree with you there. I’m not a hunter but I’d welcome that type of open season!
  • I hope it is not Mike Maddux simply because I don’t want to see his brother’s ugly mug around Wrigley in any way, shape or form. I intensely dislike Greg and that feeling extends to all things Maddux. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest his jock. 
  • In Theo-usty we trusty?
  • Now if you’ll excuse me, I think my ears and nose are bleeding.
  • The Cardinals who? Never heard of them.
  • If you want a good laugh, check out the Marlins new uniforms.
  • Ozzie acts and talks like a clown, now he gets to look the part. BRILLIANT!

Top Wizzie Contributors

 

Doc Raker-40

Buddy-40

Jswanson-34

BLPCB-25

Seymour Butts-21

Doug S.-20

Aaron-17

Jedi-14

Chet-11

MJ-10

Question of the Week

I might be a week early, but I’m tired and have nothing else. As I recently changed my floor bulletin board to ask and in lieu of the upcoming holiday: What are you thankful for?

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GirlieView

Sunday, November 6th, 2011

 Hello there, from my lovely dorm room.

The last three weeks have been pretty rough, I’m not going to lie. Stress and chaos only begin to describe my life. However, I now see the light and look ahead to an upcoming break. I got some much needed time to myself, picked new classes for the spring semester and cannot wait to start fresh.

It’s amazing how we are always saying we want to start anew; yet many people will also say they hate change. The human race is a funny thing. Either way, we’ve seen some much needed changes with our favorite team and I’d say we are allowed to feel a little optimistic about where we are headed.

Here’s to more moves making our lives a little brighter.

The Wizzies

  • No word yet if he’ll become the national spokesman for Transitions Lenses.
  • The Canjun duo can compare WS rings.
  • And beginner mullets.
  • Maybe if he throws well we can get more than a bag of balls from Ozzie Guillen for him? I would take the balls however…..
  • More specifically, rebuild around Blake DeWitt. That is obvious though.
  • Maybe Raker can set Ryno up with some transition lenses for his interview.
  • I’d take Bob Barker as Cubs manager over Bob Brenly.
  • Just in case anyone was living in a cave or taking an around the world sailing trip since this August, Carlos Zambrano had a very bad day on August 12. 
  • Good job Eisner, no need for some Mickey Mouse trade that has the Cubs eating some Goofy amount of Z contract. Get us to Tomorrow Land and fast.
  • Raker’s on a buzz light years ahead of the rest of us. Let us know when you’re down from space mountain.

Top Wizzie Contributors

Doc Raker-38

Buddy-37

Jswanson-34

BLPCB-24

Seymour Butts-21

Doug S.-20

Aaron-17

Jedi-14

Chet-11

Dusty Baylor-10

Question of the Week

What do you look forward to most in the week? Is there one time every Tuesday that you get to sit for 20 minutes and have lunch by yourself, alone with your thoughts? Or how about the ride to work? What do you use as an outlet from your every day routine?

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GirlieView

Sunday, October 30th, 2011

Hope the weekend has been going well for everyone!

Over the last few months I have grown to use this blog as a safe haven. I certainly don’t have time to read or comment every day, but when I do need a break from all the craziness in my life, I find it comforting to read and contribute here. Even all of you with your families, friends, and full-time jobs fit this new family into your busy schedules. And when the Cardinals won the Series this week, I didn’t have to worry about having the news crammed down my throat from my fellow Cubs fans; in fact, it wasn’t even mentioned. We all approached it with the same demeanor, and that’s what I love. We share a special bond here through our love of the baseball in general.

So I guess I just wanted to use this post as a little thank you to all you for making that possible for me. And on that note, let’s get a glimpse of this week at VFTB.

The Wizzies

  • BLPCB…I just threw up in my mouth a little..can we please not mention Les Walrond, or Jae Kuk Ryu this early in the morning?
  • Cheeseburger and Cheesecake Sabathia is due to break down very soon.
  • Get out the mustard, there will be a lot of innings in 2012 to be eaten I fear…(to be shared by the staff)
  • If we want an innings eater, is Bartolo Colon available? If there is eating to be done, I want him on my side…
  • Also, Sabathia apparently is just an eater, in general…
  • Quade moonlighting in St. Louis now?
  • Good god…..if death is not an option….then Duke, Kazmir, or Willis….oof. Slim pickin’s eh?
  • It is sad to think that Carlos Silva could out-pitch anyone on that list. With no mitt…holding a Hebrew National dog.

Top Wizzie Contributors

Buddy-36

Doc Raker-35

Jswanson-32

BLPCB-24

Seymour Butts-21

Doug S.-20

Aaron-17

Jedi-13

Chet-11

Dusty Baylor-10

Eddie Von White-9

Chuck-9

Question of the Week

Yes, I know the World Series just ended, but how do you feel about the offseason moves so far and how much more activity do you expect?

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GirlieView

Sunday, October 23rd, 2011

It’s been an exhausting week on my end, and seeing Cardinals’ fans coming out of hiding to support their team in the Series hasn’t made anything better. Here’s to a Rangers’ comeback.

Anyway, I hope Sunday brings sunshine and smiles to all! Let’s get on with the show.

The Wizzies

The “Occupy” protests saw a rash of arrests over the weekend in various cities. I feel like we should take a role call here on VFTB to make sure we didn’t lose anyone. Or maybe buddy-up like the mall scene from Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

The World Series starts on Wednesday in St. Louis with the Cardinals taking on the Rangers. If you plan on rooting for the Cardinals I suggest you keep that to yourself.

 Katie, Katie, Katie… Article I, Section 1, Subpart A of the Sports Fan Constitution cleraly states “… being a fan of a team is not subject to win-loss records or quality of play on the field, court, rink or other facility where the team plays…

Campana shouldn’t start for even the worst team in baseball.

We could offer them fried chicken and beer in the locker room in exchange for Theo.

Theo can show up to the office in shorts and a T-shirt and gut fish a la Office Space, offer crazy trades via twitter, quadruple park in the owners parking spots, etc… until they are forced to fire him if he wanted to.

Really? no way! I thought fiberglass and and nicotine were good for you… huh. If you outlaw chew, you better outlaw the crotch-scratch, too.

I long for the day where I can look at a Sox fan and say, “That ring in 2005 was nice wasn’t it? Look at all of our rings now.”

“Your mom goes to college” – Kip Dynomite

If they really asked for Castro, that was an ill-advised proposition. That’s like asking a kid to trade his new Optimus Prime toy for an old Hotwheels car. Unjustifiable.

Top Wizzie Contributors

Buddy-36

Doc Raker-35

Jswanson-31

BLPCB-23

Seymour Butts-21

Doug S.-20

Aaron-17

Jedi-13

Chet-11

Eddie Von White-9

Question of the Week

Excuse the randomness, but what is one thing you are looking forward to accomplishing during the offseason?

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GirlieView

Sunday, October 16th, 2011

If you aren’t aware, I am a student, as well as a Resident Assistant that juggles two other jobs. Needless to say I have had my energy sucked out of me almost every single day since September rolled around. In the midst of all this, it feels good to see the Cubs organization actually going about their business the way I used to see it done. The change that the hire of Theo Epstein brings feels like a step in the right direction. Hopefully my life can follow suit. I am swamped as of late, and would love to catch a break.

Regardless, reading your thoughts on the week was a nice change of pace. Let’s get to it.

The Wizzies

  • Every time Fielder puts a charge into one, you don’t hear the sound of the bat making solid contact with the ball. You hear a cash register opening, cha-Ching! as Fielder just keeps adding to his contract this winter.
  • Chunky psycho vegan? or old guy that has problems with shadows? They both sound like losers to me.
  • Samardzija’s a one-trick pony. His trick is getting off the mound quickly before people realize how hittable he is.
  • But Buddy..he’s scrappy….he’s got grit, and moxie, and he hit over .300 in April!!??? Oh he’s got no power, and doesn’t get on base? This isn’t 1976? Oh. Well then of course, they should look to upgrade there.
  • Years ago, one of my college roommates had a girlfriend that moved in “temporarily.” Well, you know how that works out…she was there for a year. She had three yappy small dogs. The best thing about living with Maltese: when they get all spooled up and out of control, you can reset their simple little brains with a few shots of water from a spray bottle. I wish there was a blog equivalent of that spray bottle to quiet this goddamned nonsensical yapping.
  • Now I’m wondering if not having access to VFTB for three months wasn’t so bad.
  • When I was a kid, we had a cat. Nobody really liked the cat, but he was good at chasing mice. One day, the cat ran away. My brother thought he saw him in our neighbor’s yard, but it was actually a racoon. My dad wouldn’t let us have a racoon, and my brother was really upset. The next night at dinner….I forgot what my point was.
  • Did I mention that I saw Carlos Pena eating lunch prior to the last game of the year, a big bowl of pasta. The server for his table was left handed and it looked like Pena was only able to eat about 14.3% of his pasta.
  • Jihad and baseball don’t mix. Soccer with a goats head in Alibabastan maybe.
  • Well in defense of Dusty Baker,er… *crickets* I got nothin’…
  • This is also why I despise the Braves. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their jock.
  • 7) Don’t quit “The Zack Attack.” You can make time for your day job and your band.
  • Maybe the Cubs will change their name to the Chicago Clutch Grinders. Then right after that, a giant meteor can destroy the Earth.
  • Chicago Oprahs, Oprah Cubs, Oprah’s Baseball Club, Oprah’s Book Cubs. Something like that…I’m sort of tired.
  • The Oprah Feel Good Secular Tofu Eating Grinding Chicago Cubs!

Top Wizzie Contributors

Buddy-35

Doc Raker-35

Jswanson-30

BLPCB-23

Seymour Butts-21

Doug S.-20

Aaron-17

Chet-11

Jedi-11

Eddie Von White-8

Larry Sproul-8

Question of the Week

 Now that it is (almost) officially upon us, what is the best part about fall?

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