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Hey, Soriano! Who you crappin?

Thursday, July 9th, 2009

Slumping left fielder Alfonso Soriano sat for the third time in eight games Wednesday and isn’t happy about it. When manager Lou Piniella spoke to Soriano last week in Pittsburgh and told him he would be giving him a few more days off, Soriano said he understood. But Soriano was miffed when he learned his name wasn’t in the starting lineup Wednesday after he had a pair of hits Tuesday night. “That’s why I’m mad,” Soriano said. “If he had told me yesterday, then I wouldn’t come today ready to play.”

Chicago Tribune

Um, Aldolpho….you haven’t been ready to play all year. Who you crappin?

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Dear Mr. Hendry

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

Dr. Mr. Hendry,

Hello Mr. Hendry. I wanted to write to you because I think I’ve created poop that didn’t stink as much as this Cubs team.

When a team gets 97 wins, why would you tinker with as much as you did? Are you listening to Coach Piniella? You shouldn’t. He’s a grumpy old man, waiting to retire. My Dad says guys that old are just skating by, doing the bare minimum, and collect their pay checks.

My Mommy is very upset you got rid of Mark DeRosa. She says there’s no one as pretty as him on the team anymore. Maybe we need another pretty player?

I can’t write anymore. This team makes my eyes bleed, which makes it difficult to write.


Back to School divx

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Dear Mr. Bradley

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

Dear Mr. Bradley,

I am a hugemungous Cub fan. I was very excited to see you become a Cub, because my Daddy says you can hit the ball very goodly. For some reason he keeps saying many bad words when you are up to bat now. I guess you are not doing very good when you swing. That makes me sad.

I like to see many home runs, and you are supposed to be doing that! You should be hitting a million billion home runs each day, and scoring 17,000 runs. What is wrong with you? Are you hurt? My Dad says you are made of popsicle sticks and bubble gum. Maybe you need some strong tape instead. Or crazy glue!

The other night I saw you break your baseball bat. You seemed very angry. Jedi Master Yoda says that anger leads to the Dark Side. I don’t want you to be like Darth Vader. I bet he could hit a baseball with his lightsaber! Maybe you should get a light saber, and then you can hit lots and lots of home runs!

Thank you for being a Cub Mr. Bradley. I hope you get playing better soon, because my Dad needs some soap for his mouth.


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Kool Aid is Spelled M I L T ON

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009

Since this seems to be a reoccuring argument, and capnobvious took Dave and I to task, let’s outline my love for Milton flavored Kool Aid.

April 1999: While playing for Montreal’s Double-A affiliate at Harrisburg, Pa., he was suspended for seven games for spitting gum at an umpire after being ejected. The ejection came for charging the mound after being hit by a pitch.

  • OK, here’s one I can’t defend. Except he was young, and stupid. It happens.
  • April 2002: As a member of the Cleveland Indians, Bradley was removed from a Cleveland restaurant after he refused to leave. According to the EMS report, he was “severely intoxicated.”

  • Yeah, you’re using an off the field issue to support your argument. Anyone of us could be removed from a restaurant for “intoxification.” I’m betting a few have too.
  • April 1, 2004: Indians manager Eric Wedge determined Bradley failed to run out a pop-up that fell for a single during an exhibition game and removed Bradley from the game. Four days later, Bradley was traded to the Los Angeles Dodgers.

  • OK, so we’ll use this argument, while at the same time A-Ram and Soriano do the same thing. I wonder what would happen if Lou pulled them?
  • June 1, 2004: Bradley dumped a bag of baseballs near third base, delaying the game, soon after being ejected.

  • Hasn’t this happened hundreds of times, with hundreds of other players? What’s the difference?
  • Sept. 28, 2004: Bradley, playing right field at Dodger Stadium, responded to a fan who threw a bottle in his direction by walking over the stands and slam-dunking the bottle back. He was ejected and removed his jersey on his way off the field.

  • By happenchance, I was actually at this game. I can’t defend his over the top antics, but didn’t we just see a manager pull his entire team off the field when the crowd started throwing things?I’m not saying his actions afterwards were acceptable, but when you’ve got things being thrown at you while trying to do your job, I’d get a bit pissed off too.
  • Oct. 6, 2004: Bradley called Los Angeles Times writer Jason Reid, who is a black, an “Uncle Tom” after Game 1 of the Dodgers-St. Louis Cardinals Division Series in St. Louis.

  • Carl Everett says dinosaurs didn’t exist. People say and do dumb things all the time. Browse these posts. You’ll see.
  • December 2004: Bradley served three days in an Ohio jail for what his agent said was the resolution of two traffic-related incidents. In one, Bradley was charged with refusing to sign a speeding ticket and then driving away. In the other, he pleaded guilty to yelling at a police officer.

  • Again, off the field stuff. I don’t get why everyone makes a big deal out of it. Let’s concentrate on his performance on the field.
  • June 28-July 30, 2005: According to municipal records in Redondo Beach, Calif., police were called to Bradley’s home three times to respond to complaints of domestic violence. He wasn’t arrested.

  • No arrests. Which means no probable cause. Which means no evidence such things were occuring. Next please.
  • Aug. 20, 2005: Bradley and Dodgers teammate Jeff Kent got into heated exchange during a game after Kent accused Bradley of not hustling. Bradley said Kent, who had issues with Barry Bonds when both played for the San Francisco Giants, has difficulty dealing with black players.

  • It’s well know Jeff Kent was an hot head himself, who did have issues with black players. What’s the point?
  • Sept. 23, 2007: As a member of the San Diego Padres, Bradley was lost for the last week of the season when he suffered a knee injury following a confrontation with first base umpire Mike Winters that resulted in Bradley being ejected. Bradley was hurt when Padres manager Bud Black wrestled him to the ground during Bradley’s argument with Winters. Major League Baseball later confirmed Winters used profane language during the argument and suspended him for the rest of the regular season and the post-season.

  • So he’s called out, and the ump uses profane language, which is confirmed by the MLB. There happens to be a freak accident that blows his knee out. How does this matter?
  • AND booted from his first Wrigley Field appearance in a Cub uniform AND suspended for THAT temper tantrum.

  • After that call, I’d have done the same. It was terrible. Sometimes, like a Technical Foul in basketball, something needs to be said or done to get the team motivated. I don’t see D-Lee, Soraino, or A-Ram, doing it. It might as well be someone. This team needs a little fire. Unless, you consider beating a water pipe to death after you’re eliminated “fiery.”
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    Holy Macaroni! 5-2!!!!

    Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

    Over the last week, I’ve sat back and read most of the posts and comments.  Chiming in with my usual blather of sensical talk.  Or at least what I perceive to be sensical talk.  I’m beside myself in the daily garble of Chicken Little “the sky is falling” talk. Seven days into the season, and the world is coming to an end.

    It appears that this year being calm, cool and collect, is not in the Cub fan’s dictionary.  Raggin’ on D-Lee because he’s hitting under .100, Milton Bradley hurt himself, Geovany has played two games, Aramis has a sore back, Piniella has no idea how to manage.  The list goes on and on.  Seven days, sigh…….I’m not sure I can take six months of this.

    In seven games, the are 5-2.  FIVE AND TWO!!!!

    And that’s with all of the issues stated above.  Bradley’s out, Geovany is out, D-Lee is hitting (or lack of hitting) like a he’s got a tuna in his hands, the bullpen has been less than spectacular (May I clean those goggles Mr. Gregg?), and yet…….they’re FIVE AND TWO!!!! Wait Until Dark

    The Cubs lost a game they should have won, and won a game they should have lost.  By my math that would put their record somewhere around…hmmmm, let me figure this out…….carry the one………FIVE AND TWO!!!!

    Serenity now.

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