Author Archive

GirlieView (02/18/2016)

Thursday, February 18th, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • not sure if Joe seeing Murton’s twig and berries has been reported yet.
  • I still suspect you guys covered up the whole “hey what happened to our Johnsons” thing.
  • So on March 16 we get to hear Len’s Ode to David Bowie and Glen Fry
  • Goes something like this…Vegas for the first weekend of March Madness, Grand Canyon for a couple days, south and catch some games.
  • Attending my first Spring Training games this year. Cubs / Indians on the 19th and Cubs / Royals on the 20th. Barely excited at all.
  • I haven’t been to ST but I hope to go when my 1- and 3-year-old are…well, not 1 and 3.
  • Bryan LaHair and Matt Murton shared an apartment together while playing baseball in Japan. They lived in a women’s only building so they had to dress up as women every time they came and went through the building. It was so hilarious they made a Japanese sitcom out of it. Then Jason DuBois showed up and he was the only one who had a Japanese drivers license so he ended up driving all 3 of them around. Then the manager of the team, Koske Fukudome, got all upset because the 3 stooges where always late to the park and they always had women’s make up on.
  • Earth Wind and Fire dude kicked today, Jefferson Starship dude last week, David Bowie, Glen Fry, Oh my Len is going to be a mess.
  • I love baseball, but would like it to be finished before Christmas eve.
  • every 5 days he’d be preceded by those on-base phenoms Ross-Lester
  • One of the best things, in my [opinion], about the 2016 Cubs will be the versatility.
  • Rizzo will bat lead off the same number of times as David Ross does.
  • Jenkins is remembered as a superbly talented athlete. He played basketball with the Globe Trotters during the baseball offseason in the late ‘60s.
  • Are there pitchers out there named Overwood?

Lizard

  • Watching an interview with Pat Hughes is like watching a documentary on good will toward all mankind. He is that nice.

Shout Outs

  • No one had their very first 2015 Off-Season Lizzie this time so let’s have a shout out for everyone! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker, Eddie von White, and jswanson our three Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time! Way to go guys!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Eddie von White
5. Doug S
6. Jared
7. Seymour Butts
8. Bryan
9. Nate Usher
10. Brad Lyerla

Chit Chat

  • I’m happy to say by the time the next GirlieView comes around Spring Training will have begun and we will have reached the day of the very first exhibition game. Even though I know the worthiness of ST games is debatable around here, at least we should have some real world baseball things to talk about. Until then, let’s play a game. Let’s say you can visit three baseball stadiums this year. They don’t have to be geographically or financially feasible for you, this is pretend! Where would you go?
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GirlieView (02/04/2016)

Thursday, February 4th, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • If the guy isn’t getting the job done, then make the change. Someone else will be ready to step up.
  • Strop scares me – he channels his “inner-Marmol” far too often when asked to do anything other than bridge the game.
  • If Rondon is dominant this year, I hope we forgot about the save stat and let him pitch whichever inning is most important.
  • Big expectations last year for Lester and to me, he didn’t deliver. Lower expectations this year. I hope he can deliver on that.
  • So Brian Schlitter beat Murton to the sitcom thing.. Didn’t see that coming.
  • I have great memories of listening to Cubs games with my grandpa when I was young just he and I on the front porch.
  • In Sunday School my teacher had a contest for attendance, Bible verse, and bring your Bible. The top three winners won a trip to Wrigley Field. I won.
  • I noticed the necklace at an away game a few years later and she claimed to remember me (who wouldn’t I know).
  • That might be the necklace I gave her on her birthday when I was 10. When you had dinner, did she mention a little boy named Eddie with a pocket full of crayons?
  • I enjoy the strategy utilized by NL managers in various game situations, especially in the late innings.
  • I’m a traditionalist. Put your pitchers in the cages during spring training. Teach them how to bunt. Teach them how to swing the bat. Make them learn how to run and slide.
  • The business of the game will win this argument and at some point the NL will have the DH, much to my chagrin. The players union will see to it that the DH is not removed.
  • Can we DH for David Ross and let the pitcher hit when in an AL park?
  • Underwood was great in LA Law.
  • Underwood? Balls. Final answer.
  • I’m fine starting the season with the horses we have and letting Maddon tinker away.
  • I think this thread can be summarized in one word: balance. Last season our offense was way too swing and miss oriented, so Theo went out and got Heyward and Zobrist and their high OBPs to balance things out and get some bodies on base for all those taters. The Cubs have 2 dudes who hit so damn well they need to find somewhere for them to play in the field. Our infield defense is great, and so is Heyward, so the Cubs can afford to have a couple of guys out there who aren’t gold glove caliber.
  • When things were worst, my dad and I could always talk about baseball. Cubs baseball would always cut the tension and allow us to reconnect.

Lizard

  • It’s been a very real joy to write here.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Adam Peters, Bilyuds, and Sue Draper for their first 2015 Off-Season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker, Eddie von White, and Jared , our Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time! Thank you all!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Doug S
4. Eddie von White
4. Jared
7. Seymour Butts
8. Bryan
9. Nate Usher
10. Bartz
10. Brad Lyerla
10. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Joe Aiello
10. Sean Powell

Chit Chat

Jared touched on this the other day, but since we’ve entered the month during which Spring Training begins we’ve got baseball right around the corner, so I’ll review some pertinent dates:

  • Friday, February 19 – Pitchers and catchers report
  • Tuesday, February 23 – Position players report
  • Thursday, March 3 – First Spring Training exhibition game (away vs. Milwaukee, available on mlb.com)
  • Saturday, March 5 – First radio broadcast (home vs. Cincinnati, 670 AM, 2:05 pm CT)
  • Wednesday, March 16 – First television broadcast (away vs. Kansas City, CSN, 3:05 pm CT)

Now, for the chatting. Have you ever attended any Cubs Spring Training games? Will you be heading there this year?

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GirlieView (01/21/2016)

Thursday, January 21st, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Jared owes 1.2B on his student loans.
  • Sounds familiar.
  • I would tag along with Raker.
  • I’d buy the place next to Raker’s house and send my kids over there to raise hell.
  • Treat Seymour to a fancy sub, like a chicken bacon ranch melt. Oh, and some Sun Chips.
  • Did I mention I attended the no-hit game?
  • No shit?
  • one too many letters.
  • I think Maddon gets credit for alleviating the yips
  • So, St. Louis loses Jason Heyward. I feel bad for them, but at least they still have professional football. Oh, wait…
  • the prices for these things just keep going up, but fans keep spending the money, so we can’t really complain too loudly at the organizations.
  • All I can say is free market. Every game is sold out at Wrigley. People are willing to pay 9 bucks a beer and 120 to get in, so that’s what they charge.
  • I know many were disappointed when he didn’t get the managing job here several years ago, but it wouldn’t have turned out well. It was probably better to let Mike Quade take the reins at the time.
  • I am a big Ryne Sandberg fan but I had no delusions he would be a good manager. Great players don’t always make good managers.
  • cue the Cindy Sandberg jokes in 3…2…
  • Dave Martinez, Raphael Palmeiro and Seattle Slew walk into a bar…
  • Why the long face?
  • 12″ pianist?
  • I now expect to see balls and strikes called automatically in my lifetime.
  • Yes balls are now under constant observation and protection. No more just throwing the sack in a heap on the ground until needed. They now receive great care. We can all thank Tom Brady for that…or maybe it was Ming Sue at the massage parlor, I forget which.
  • Did you know campers at Randy’s camp can request a high or low pitch from the pitching machine. “Hey, Randy, set that thing for thigh high cookies, can’t rake with pitches at my eyes.”
  • Randy must not have heard about the 1887 rule change.
  • Half of the campers love it, since camp rules like this take them back to the rules of their childhood.
  • Right…and the other half are the older ones who can’t remember anything at all.
  • It includes groupies, they bus them in from Sunset Assisted Living.
  • Worth every penny – without question. Incredible once in a lifetime event. Except for Seymour, to whom it is an annual thing, kind of like a birthday, Christmas, or shower.
  • They may have changed the strike zone in 1969, but they forgot to tell the umpires
  • We had an intern start today… Calvin, spelled Kalvyn. Just stop it everyone.
  • Probably best not to even talk to him. Parents must have raised him to be litigious.

Lizard

  • The league is going to do its best to adjust to this young team, and now they need to avoid any sophomore jinxes, and keep improving.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout out to cap’n realist for his first 2015 Off-Season Lizzie!!!! Thanks for dropping by!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Doug S
5. Eddie von White
5. Jared
7. Seymour Butts
8. Bryan
9. Nate Usher
10. Bartz
10. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Joe Aiello
10. Sean Powell

Chit Chat

I might have hinted last time at maybe being a little bit tired of the off-season jibber jabber … look back, look ahead, what to expect, what went right, what went wrong, all of which points directly to our off-season boredom. So I’m going the pop culture route today. And it’s ok if you don’t like it. I’m sure a real baseball column will follow shortly!

I’m curious about what people like/dislike on TV. Especially during the winter months, which is pretty much the only time I watch any. I don’t watch much. But these shows come to mind for one reason or another, some of them because I watch them, others because they’re in the news, and others just to round out the list.

How about you? Do you watch and/or have any opinions about any of these shows?

a. Fargo (the series, not the 90s movie)
b. American Idol (you can admit it. We won’t hold it against you.)
c. Making a Murderer
d. Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee
e. Angie Tribeca
f. Last Man on Earth
g. Schitt’s Creek
h. Bloodline

And, do you have any other favorites? Just curious. Consider it a bit of a sociology experiment. And thanks for answering. You probably realize your participation in my chit chat (especially when it’s a silly topic) makes me happy. And a happy Lizzie awards more Lizzies. ;-)

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GirlieView (01/07/2016)

Thursday, January 7th, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Montero as trade bait seems a little unlikely at present, of course a baseball season stretching over 2 calendar years also seems unlikely.
  • Ross was the easiest out in the line up except for Jon Lester, all the other pitchers hit better than Ross.
  • Can’t get enough of this blossoming friendship.
  • I’ve fallen out of the top 10 leaderboard. Either my checks to Lizzie have been bouncing or it’s proof you actually have to comment once in a while to win a lizzie or two.
  • This “Team of Zobrists” idea is not original to me (credit to Gunther Dabynsky for this), but I think it’s very much what we are seeing the philosophy of the team turn into, at least defensively.
  • This is probably more amusing to me than it should be, but I am delighting more than a little bit in how much the Cardinals fans are sweating the Cubs.
  • Merry Christmas, I hope no one bought the Cubs ugly sweater because it is really ugly.
  • My bold prediction – in 35 starts, David Ross bats .455 with 21 homers and 77 RBI. He also spot-starts and throws a perfect game to newly re-acquired 48-year-old catcher Rick Wilkins, who was picked up after Montero went down with explosive diarrhea after binging on all-you-can-eat wings at Golden Corral. I figure the bolder, the better.
  • No way Golden Coral is still offering all you can eat wings in 2016.
  • I am still so broken up over the accusations against Tyler Teaparty that I can barely work today. Tanner Teapot was one of my favorite players, and for that Al Jazz-eared guy to say those things was off-putting, to say the least. How our heroes can fall. And I was hoping that Thurston Teesdale would catch on as Kyle Hendrick’s personal receiver.
  • The fact that David Ross got so many starts hints at Teagen Taygarden’s value to the Cubs.
  • David Ross homered as a pitcher this year…but NOT as a catcher.
  • This moment makes the cut because I was at Wrigley to witness this game, and I can tell you, it was the most electric regular-season-in-negative-million-degrees-meaningless-game I’ve ever attended.
  • Only went to two games this year. Saw Bryant’s first homer in Milwaukee and his scoreboard shot at Wrigley on my birthday. Good stuff.
  • What I’ll miss about Castro is simply the child-like enjoyment he seemed to get from the game of baseball.
  • Surprised nobody posted “Schlitter being sent to Iowa” in their top 5.
  • Jake’s PJs were decorated with moustaches and he was happy to appear before the cameras decked out in his night wear. I guess the Cubs should have expected nothing less on that unusual night in an unusual season for an unusually talented pitcher.
  • Steve Stone: Watching how the Houston Astros approached him that day, for one day in the life of Kerry Wood, he probably understood how it felt to be godly as far as a pitcher is concerned, because they didn’t touch the ball. They didn’t get close to another hit. It was impossible. Len Kasper: I really dig when Pete Townshend smashes his guitar while on stage.
  • Maybe not making a move really isn’t a “move” but not making a move is certainly a DECISION…and it’s one I’m okay with at this point.
  • This is must see baseball.
  • I don’t know how many of you will take the time to read VFTB first thing in the morning on New Year’s Day, but I have to say how much I appreciate the people who take the time to read each post.
  • We don’t always agree on things but no doubt the dialogue on VFTB is far more entertaining and informative then other places
  • Baseball is cerebral, its played as much between the ears as it is with skill.
  • There is no stat for a hitter that is absolutely intimidated by a pitcher who could tell him what he’s throwing and it wouldn’t matter, or a hitter who is so locked in that it won’t matter what is thrown, he’s going to hit it, and hard.
  • It’s still the only sport I’m aware of where the defense controls the ball, and that makes it for me.
  • Well I guess I’ll read this again.
  • this year I’ll be headed to Mesa to partake in the spring training festivities for the first time, crossing something off my “baseball bucket list” that has been there for quite a while.
  • Realized I left David Ross off of this hypothetical bench, so that makes things even more interesting.
  • That’s the only bench he belongs on…other than maybe a park bench.
  • My advice on Spring Training: Have a great time. I can’t imagine any destination more fun than Spring Training – especially this year with the Cubs.

Lizard

  • In all, it’s been a really, really nice December for Cubs fans.

Shout Outs

  • No one had their very first 2015 Off-Season Lizzie this time so let’s have a shout out for everyone! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Jared Wyllys, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Doug S
5. Jared
6. Eddie von White
7. Bryan
8. Seymour Butts
9. Nate Usher
10. Bartz
10. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Joe Aiello
10. Sean Powell

Chit Chat

  • It’s always difficult to think of things to chat about in mid-January. We’ve done a whole lot of “look back at last season” and “what to think about next season” posts so let’s talk about something fun. The PowerBall, as I write this, sits at $500 million. By the time you read this in the morning, you will know that you didn’t win the PowerBall and I will know that I didn’t either. But let’s pretend you did. What’s something fun you would do with the money?
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GirlieView (12/24/2015)

Thursday, December 24th, 2015

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • It’s clear that the rebuild is over: the young core is in place, key veterans have been added, and the team has their ideal manager.
  • This front office understands that the playoffs are a crapshoot, and the best way to win a championship is to buy a lottery ticket every year…not just every decade.
  • I don’t think you trade Baez, who still has monster potential, for a 4th starter with 3rd starter potential. We already have pitchers like that, and Baez is a rare talent.
  • Hold me and tell me everything will be alright.
  • I like the Zobrist signing and moving Castro to the Yanks. But it must be said, that for all of his lapses on and off the field during his time here, Starlin really impressed me this past season. He handled losing his starting position and the subsequent move to second with as much dignity and professionalism as you could ask of anyone. Then, after the move to second, he hit like a monster all fall and was a very important contributor to the play off run. I wish him well.
  • One Cubs move for Christmas? Vancouver, BC please.
  • Sherm is a Lizzie monster, EVW is the Washington Nationals of Lizzies right now, all that hype with little results.
  • It is the off season. I’m busy working out and honing my skills for Opening Day, which can’t get here soon enough by the way.
  • Len would say EVW is Thin on Lizzies right now.
  • I must be on the naughty list, I have been stuck in 10th for a few weeks.
  • When I first starting commenting on this blog a few years ago, I thought, “Eventually I will understand what all these inside jokes are about.” Now I am close to the realization that no, I won’t, either because (like my wife says) I lack common sense, or perhaps there actually aren’t any inside jokes (again, I lack common sense).
  • Come to our VFTB spring training dinner and we will bring you up to speed. Don and Charlie’s in Scottsdale, everyone will be there except Seymour, he usually goes to Subway instead since he doesn’t like to tip.
  • I’d like to thank Lizzie (aka “the Academy”) who gleans through thousands of posts every few weeks, reading over the lunacy and stupidity that we spew forth, and then giving us the chance to re-read the stupidest ones, and hail, each fortnight, a new king of fools.
  • Without Joe, half of you would still be in AOL chat rooms pretending to be teenage girls. So, thanks, Joe.
  • I’d like to thank the Chicago Cubs – because for the first time in almost forever, we’ve gone from Lovable Losers to just LOVABLE.
  • Ton of money, but what the heck. Go Cubs. I’m fine with Coghlan as the 4th OF FWIW. What’s the over / under of different lineups Maddon uses next year?
  • Both of those signings made us better and the Cardinals worse. You have to love that. I wonder if that was happenstance, or by design?
  • The fans in the Rockies are going to need to drink when Schlitt happens. How far will a Schlitter fastball travel in the Rockies?
  • What a great time to be a fan of the Chicago Cubs.
  • I’d feel better having Ross start the game and bringing in Hammel in the 3rd.
  • Hammel hits better than Ross.
  • I feel like Theo and Jed went with the old Konami cheat code to get this done. Everything had to go in a perfect sequence or the deals couldn’t get done.
  • There is no way we youngsters will get that Konami reference.
  • This was some great writing made better by a Konami code reference!
  • I remember now – I was thinking “Sure, Arietta will probably win a Cy Young and become the most dominating pitcher in baseball…but this Strop idiot will likely wear his hat sideways.” Yeah, that’s what it was.
  • This is far from a comprehensive outlook, but in all, the Cubs of 2016 are much, much stronger because of Heyward, both at the plate and in the field.
  • Man, the hatred pouring out from some Cards fans on Heyward is over the top.
  • Well, when the only thing that can motivate you in St Louis is the baseball team losing your best player hurts especially when you lose him to the Cubs. It is going to be a long miserable summer on the Mississippi. I look forward to it, with glee.
  • Rod Johnson, John Peterson, Peter Weenerson.
  • Peter Weenerson chokes up too much
  • Len drives a Hyundai. No. Len drives a – wait for it…REO SPEEDWAGON!!!
  • The Cubs in 2016 will look somewhat different at the outset of the year. But, there is one aspect where continuity should remain: winning.
  • He has a very tall frame.
  • He is rather slender.
  • He reminds me of Heidi Klum, except that he’s black and completely different looking
  • There’s also different dangly bits. Presumably.

Lizard

  • Never been a big Heyward fan but I’m pretty fickle – doesn’t take much to change my mind.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Brad Lyerla, Chris O’Reilly, Elijah Knepper, and Sean Powell for their first 2015 Off-Season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go Sherm!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Doug S
5. Eddie von White
6. Bryan
6. Seymour Butts
8. Jared
9. Nate Head
10. Jerry in Wisconsin

Chit Chat

First, Merry Christmas to all my friends here at VFTB. And really, you’ve become my friends over the years. I read every word you say then I go back and re-read it all again. We spend a lot of time together, LOL. We quibble, we laugh, we agree, we disagree, we alternately like and don’t like each other on any given day. But we all still show up! That sounds a lot like friends to me. Thanks for being here.

Next, since probably no one’s even around to be reading this on Christmas Eve, I’ll make today’s chit chat question simple. It’s one of my go-to favorites, and it can be asked over and over again since moves are always being made. Who is your favorite current Cub?

Merry Christmas!

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