Author Archive

GirlieView (03/17/2016)

Thursday, March 17th, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • I like any athlete who looks older than I do. Usually, that’s limited to pro bowlers.
  • I like David Ross as a person, not so much as an active player on the 2016 Chicago Cubs. Maybe I would of liked him as a 2006 Cub but not a 2016 Cub.
  • fingers to keyboard (has that replaced the pen to paper phrase in this digital age yet? If not, I call dibbs on coining it)
  • if [Baez] hits, he plays.
  • I dibbs “thumbs on the screen”
  • I hate the thought of Schwarber taking a foul tip off a wrist in September and missing the rest of the season, and possibly a post season.
  • Who turns down $100M?
  • Someone who can make $101M.
  • Someone took Pierced Johnson deep today.
  • I think an ace should pitch 5.2 innings per outing and commit several throwing errors.
  • also, he should be completely unable to hold runners on first base, and should have the pick-off move of an 11 year old chubby kid. His ability to get the ball to the plate in under 1.6 seconds is also tantamount.
  • An ace needs to be dependable, and Jonny Boy, despite real good overall numbers, was anything but last yr.
  • What you’re saying is we can trust our eyes to tell us what we see – advanced stats notwithstanding.
  • Johnson is really getting hit hard
  • Why don’t you and Seymour just email each other your Johnson jokes?
  • That sounds hard.
  • I’m thinking right now a missing Johnson might not be a bad thing.
  • I have never misplaced my Johnson
  • Why don’t you and Doug just email each other your Johnson jokes?
  • BaDa Bing
  • Win or lose spring training is still a great place to visit.
  • Spring training boring? Not to me.
  • Baseball in any dose is never boring.

Lizard

  • Let the games begin!

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to theguz7 for his first 2015 Off-Season Lizzie!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go Doc!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Doug S
4. Eddie von White
6. Seymour Butts
7. Jared
8. Bryan
9. Nate Usher
10. Brad Lyerla

Chit Chat

  • Spring training has begun, and no matter if we pay any attention to stats or not (I don’t) it’s still nice to see baseball being played again. As we all know, most of the 25 roster positions are locked down. But there are a few slots open. Who do you like as your extras, now that you’ve had a chance to see (or at least listen to) a few games?
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GirlieView (03/03/2016)

Thursday, March 3rd, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • If I really put everything into a swing, hit the sweet spot, used an aluminum bat, and the wind was howling out…hey, I think I could get within 150 feet of the warning track.
  • Do like Seymour, hit from second base and at least roll it to the warning track.
  • Cards will win 69 games.
  • I don’t care for the Cardinals, but you have to respect the organization and the culture they’ve developed for winning. They obviously evaluate and develop talent well. I think they’ve taken some mediocre players through the years, especially pitchers, and turned them into above average producers. Other teams tend to take great potential and mold it into mediocrity.
  • I don’t see the cards laying down. More like the movie bad guy hanging from a cliff, you stomp on his hands, he grabs a branch, crawls back up and sneaks up on you.
  • Hey, if you’re gonna dream, might as well dream big!
  • Trey McNutt is still around? How have we not been talking about that?
  • I had a little man-crush on Colvin. I wish things would’ve worked out better for him.
  • While he was watching the blondes – we were watching Harry (I’m not stupid.)
  • As if having the Cubs’ faithful on their backs wasn’t enough, the national spotlight has shifted squarely to Joe Maddon’s team.
  • I hope Maddon can keep these guys grounded with all this hype and crazy betting going on.
  • Hopefully they can win the division, and not worry about a 1 game playoff. that would be success in my mind
  • I got an over under of 8 on how many times Len makes reference to all the recent rock and roll passings he makes on March 1. Glen Fry and David Bowie should take up 2 innings at least.T
  • o further stress the importance of music over sports, the Cubs players will be wearing patches to honor these dead musical heroes. GF on one arm, DB on the other. And, CDH on the back of the hat. (Celine Dion’s Husband)
  • Never forget
  • Je me souviens
  • I predict Fowler’s return.
  • The first crisps pops of the mitt as pitchers and catchers report are like the starter pistol to the baseball marathon to come.
  • A) Schwarber can’t catch at this level (see Realist, Cap’n), B) Ross we are stuck with for another year (see Lester, Jon)
  • Baez is a good infielder, too…better than people think.
  • Lot’s of flexibility with a manager that knows how to use all that flexibility.
  • we have a lot of time to see who should take the ball in the fourth game of a play off series.
  • with my target audience being , well, all of us, I said “screw it, I’m done”.
  • Proud to say I was viewer 3 on this, due to an inside track.
  • I was going to work out this afternoon, but watching this gave me great body image.
  • spot on
  • Is it true David Ross was at camp as a player to try to boost his batting average this spring?
  • He was there to boost the bench morale. Batting average isn’t important don’t you know?

Lizard

  • I expect them to play like what they are… a bunch of young ballplayers who are more talented than their opponents. Over the long haul, that usually pays off.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Dork and Nate Head for their first 2015 Off-Season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Doug S
5. Eddie von White
6. Seymour Butts
7. Jared
8. Bryan
9. Nate Usher
10. Brad Lyerla

Chit Chat

  • So because we’re all such David Ross fans around here I thought you might like to know Kris Bryant and Anthony Rizzo have set up an Instagram account to document Ross’ final season. They’re having fun! The IG account name is @grandparossy_3 in case you’d like to follow. Anyone else have anything they’d like to discuss? Open commentary (as if we ever have it any other way anyhow!)

 

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GirlieView (02/18/2016)

Thursday, February 18th, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • not sure if Joe seeing Murton’s twig and berries has been reported yet.
  • I still suspect you guys covered up the whole “hey what happened to our Johnsons” thing.
  • So on March 16 we get to hear Len’s Ode to David Bowie and Glen Fry
  • Goes something like this…Vegas for the first weekend of March Madness, Grand Canyon for a couple days, south and catch some games.
  • Attending my first Spring Training games this year. Cubs / Indians on the 19th and Cubs / Royals on the 20th. Barely excited at all.
  • I haven’t been to ST but I hope to go when my 1- and 3-year-old are…well, not 1 and 3.
  • Bryan LaHair and Matt Murton shared an apartment together while playing baseball in Japan. They lived in a women’s only building so they had to dress up as women every time they came and went through the building. It was so hilarious they made a Japanese sitcom out of it. Then Jason DuBois showed up and he was the only one who had a Japanese drivers license so he ended up driving all 3 of them around. Then the manager of the team, Koske Fukudome, got all upset because the 3 stooges where always late to the park and they always had women’s make up on.
  • Earth Wind and Fire dude kicked today, Jefferson Starship dude last week, David Bowie, Glen Fry, Oh my Len is going to be a mess.
  • I love baseball, but would like it to be finished before Christmas eve.
  • every 5 days he’d be preceded by those on-base phenoms Ross-Lester
  • One of the best things, in my [opinion], about the 2016 Cubs will be the versatility.
  • Rizzo will bat lead off the same number of times as David Ross does.
  • Jenkins is remembered as a superbly talented athlete. He played basketball with the Globe Trotters during the baseball offseason in the late ‘60s.
  • Are there pitchers out there named Overwood?

Lizard

  • Watching an interview with Pat Hughes is like watching a documentary on good will toward all mankind. He is that nice.

Shout Outs

  • No one had their very first 2015 Off-Season Lizzie this time so let’s have a shout out for everyone! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker, Eddie von White, and jswanson our three Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time! Way to go guys!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Eddie von White
5. Doug S
6. Jared
7. Seymour Butts
8. Bryan
9. Nate Usher
10. Brad Lyerla

Chit Chat

  • I’m happy to say by the time the next GirlieView comes around Spring Training will have begun and we will have reached the day of the very first exhibition game. Even though I know the worthiness of ST games is debatable around here, at least we should have some real world baseball things to talk about. Until then, let’s play a game. Let’s say you can visit three baseball stadiums this year. They don’t have to be geographically or financially feasible for you, this is pretend! Where would you go?
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GirlieView (02/04/2016)

Thursday, February 4th, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • If the guy isn’t getting the job done, then make the change. Someone else will be ready to step up.
  • Strop scares me – he channels his “inner-Marmol” far too often when asked to do anything other than bridge the game.
  • If Rondon is dominant this year, I hope we forgot about the save stat and let him pitch whichever inning is most important.
  • Big expectations last year for Lester and to me, he didn’t deliver. Lower expectations this year. I hope he can deliver on that.
  • So Brian Schlitter beat Murton to the sitcom thing.. Didn’t see that coming.
  • I have great memories of listening to Cubs games with my grandpa when I was young just he and I on the front porch.
  • In Sunday School my teacher had a contest for attendance, Bible verse, and bring your Bible. The top three winners won a trip to Wrigley Field. I won.
  • I noticed the necklace at an away game a few years later and she claimed to remember me (who wouldn’t I know).
  • That might be the necklace I gave her on her birthday when I was 10. When you had dinner, did she mention a little boy named Eddie with a pocket full of crayons?
  • I enjoy the strategy utilized by NL managers in various game situations, especially in the late innings.
  • I’m a traditionalist. Put your pitchers in the cages during spring training. Teach them how to bunt. Teach them how to swing the bat. Make them learn how to run and slide.
  • The business of the game will win this argument and at some point the NL will have the DH, much to my chagrin. The players union will see to it that the DH is not removed.
  • Can we DH for David Ross and let the pitcher hit when in an AL park?
  • Underwood was great in LA Law.
  • Underwood? Balls. Final answer.
  • I’m fine starting the season with the horses we have and letting Maddon tinker away.
  • I think this thread can be summarized in one word: balance. Last season our offense was way too swing and miss oriented, so Theo went out and got Heyward and Zobrist and their high OBPs to balance things out and get some bodies on base for all those taters. The Cubs have 2 dudes who hit so damn well they need to find somewhere for them to play in the field. Our infield defense is great, and so is Heyward, so the Cubs can afford to have a couple of guys out there who aren’t gold glove caliber.
  • When things were worst, my dad and I could always talk about baseball. Cubs baseball would always cut the tension and allow us to reconnect.

Lizard

  • It’s been a very real joy to write here.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Adam Peters, Bilyuds, and Sue Draper for their first 2015 Off-Season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker, Eddie von White, and Jared , our Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time! Thank you all!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Doug S
4. Eddie von White
4. Jared
7. Seymour Butts
8. Bryan
9. Nate Usher
10. Bartz
10. Brad Lyerla
10. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Joe Aiello
10. Sean Powell

Chit Chat

Jared touched on this the other day, but since we’ve entered the month during which Spring Training begins we’ve got baseball right around the corner, so I’ll review some pertinent dates:

  • Friday, February 19 – Pitchers and catchers report
  • Tuesday, February 23 – Position players report
  • Thursday, March 3 – First Spring Training exhibition game (away vs. Milwaukee, available on mlb.com)
  • Saturday, March 5 – First radio broadcast (home vs. Cincinnati, 670 AM, 2:05 pm CT)
  • Wednesday, March 16 – First television broadcast (away vs. Kansas City, CSN, 3:05 pm CT)

Now, for the chatting. Have you ever attended any Cubs Spring Training games? Will you be heading there this year?

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GirlieView (01/21/2016)

Thursday, January 21st, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Jared owes 1.2B on his student loans.
  • Sounds familiar.
  • I would tag along with Raker.
  • I’d buy the place next to Raker’s house and send my kids over there to raise hell.
  • Treat Seymour to a fancy sub, like a chicken bacon ranch melt. Oh, and some Sun Chips.
  • Did I mention I attended the no-hit game?
  • No shit?
  • one too many letters.
  • I think Maddon gets credit for alleviating the yips
  • So, St. Louis loses Jason Heyward. I feel bad for them, but at least they still have professional football. Oh, wait…
  • the prices for these things just keep going up, but fans keep spending the money, so we can’t really complain too loudly at the organizations.
  • All I can say is free market. Every game is sold out at Wrigley. People are willing to pay 9 bucks a beer and 120 to get in, so that’s what they charge.
  • I know many were disappointed when he didn’t get the managing job here several years ago, but it wouldn’t have turned out well. It was probably better to let Mike Quade take the reins at the time.
  • I am a big Ryne Sandberg fan but I had no delusions he would be a good manager. Great players don’t always make good managers.
  • cue the Cindy Sandberg jokes in 3…2…
  • Dave Martinez, Raphael Palmeiro and Seattle Slew walk into a bar…
  • Why the long face?
  • 12″ pianist?
  • I now expect to see balls and strikes called automatically in my lifetime.
  • Yes balls are now under constant observation and protection. No more just throwing the sack in a heap on the ground until needed. They now receive great care. We can all thank Tom Brady for that…or maybe it was Ming Sue at the massage parlor, I forget which.
  • Did you know campers at Randy’s camp can request a high or low pitch from the pitching machine. “Hey, Randy, set that thing for thigh high cookies, can’t rake with pitches at my eyes.”
  • Randy must not have heard about the 1887 rule change.
  • Half of the campers love it, since camp rules like this take them back to the rules of their childhood.
  • Right…and the other half are the older ones who can’t remember anything at all.
  • It includes groupies, they bus them in from Sunset Assisted Living.
  • Worth every penny – without question. Incredible once in a lifetime event. Except for Seymour, to whom it is an annual thing, kind of like a birthday, Christmas, or shower.
  • They may have changed the strike zone in 1969, but they forgot to tell the umpires
  • We had an intern start today… Calvin, spelled Kalvyn. Just stop it everyone.
  • Probably best not to even talk to him. Parents must have raised him to be litigious.

Lizard

  • The league is going to do its best to adjust to this young team, and now they need to avoid any sophomore jinxes, and keep improving.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout out to cap’n realist for his first 2015 Off-Season Lizzie!!!! Thanks for dropping by!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Doug S
5. Eddie von White
5. Jared
7. Seymour Butts
8. Bryan
9. Nate Usher
10. Bartz
10. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Joe Aiello
10. Sean Powell

Chit Chat

I might have hinted last time at maybe being a little bit tired of the off-season jibber jabber … look back, look ahead, what to expect, what went right, what went wrong, all of which points directly to our off-season boredom. So I’m going the pop culture route today. And it’s ok if you don’t like it. I’m sure a real baseball column will follow shortly!

I’m curious about what people like/dislike on TV. Especially during the winter months, which is pretty much the only time I watch any. I don’t watch much. But these shows come to mind for one reason or another, some of them because I watch them, others because they’re in the news, and others just to round out the list.

How about you? Do you watch and/or have any opinions about any of these shows?

a. Fargo (the series, not the 90s movie)
b. American Idol (you can admit it. We won’t hold it against you.)
c. Making a Murderer
d. Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee
e. Angie Tribeca
f. Last Man on Earth
g. Schitt’s Creek
h. Bloodline

And, do you have any other favorites? Just curious. Consider it a bit of a sociology experiment. And thanks for answering. You probably realize your participation in my chit chat (especially when it’s a silly topic) makes me happy. And a happy Lizzie awards more Lizzies. ;-)

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