Author Archive

GirlieView (02/18/2016)

Thursday, February 18th, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • not sure if Joe seeing Murton’s twig and berries has been reported yet.
  • I still suspect you guys covered up the whole “hey what happened to our Johnsons” thing.
  • So on March 16 we get to hear Len’s Ode to David Bowie and Glen Fry
  • Goes something like this…Vegas for the first weekend of March Madness, Grand Canyon for a couple days, south and catch some games.
  • Attending my first Spring Training games this year. Cubs / Indians on the 19th and Cubs / Royals on the 20th. Barely excited at all.
  • I haven’t been to ST but I hope to go when my 1- and 3-year-old are…well, not 1 and 3.
  • Bryan LaHair and Matt Murton shared an apartment together while playing baseball in Japan. They lived in a women’s only building so they had to dress up as women every time they came and went through the building. It was so hilarious they made a Japanese sitcom out of it. Then Jason DuBois showed up and he was the only one who had a Japanese drivers license so he ended up driving all 3 of them around. Then the manager of the team, Koske Fukudome, got all upset because the 3 stooges where always late to the park and they always had women’s make up on.
  • Earth Wind and Fire dude kicked today, Jefferson Starship dude last week, David Bowie, Glen Fry, Oh my Len is going to be a mess.
  • I love baseball, but would like it to be finished before Christmas eve.
  • every 5 days he’d be preceded by those on-base phenoms Ross-Lester
  • One of the best things, in my [opinion], about the 2016 Cubs will be the versatility.
  • Rizzo will bat lead off the same number of times as David Ross does.
  • Jenkins is remembered as a superbly talented athlete. He played basketball with the Globe Trotters during the baseball offseason in the late ‘60s.
  • Are there pitchers out there named Overwood?

Lizard

  • Watching an interview with Pat Hughes is like watching a documentary on good will toward all mankind. He is that nice.

Shout Outs

  • No one had their very first 2015 Off-Season Lizzie this time so let’s have a shout out for everyone! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker, Eddie von White, and jswanson our three Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time! Way to go guys!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Eddie von White
5. Doug S
6. Jared
7. Seymour Butts
8. Bryan
9. Nate Usher
10. Brad Lyerla

Chit Chat

  • I’m happy to say by the time the next GirlieView comes around Spring Training will have begun and we will have reached the day of the very first exhibition game. Even though I know the worthiness of ST games is debatable around here, at least we should have some real world baseball things to talk about. Until then, let’s play a game. Let’s say you can visit three baseball stadiums this year. They don’t have to be geographically or financially feasible for you, this is pretend! Where would you go?
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GirlieView (02/04/2016)

Thursday, February 4th, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • If the guy isn’t getting the job done, then make the change. Someone else will be ready to step up.
  • Strop scares me – he channels his “inner-Marmol” far too often when asked to do anything other than bridge the game.
  • If Rondon is dominant this year, I hope we forgot about the save stat and let him pitch whichever inning is most important.
  • Big expectations last year for Lester and to me, he didn’t deliver. Lower expectations this year. I hope he can deliver on that.
  • So Brian Schlitter beat Murton to the sitcom thing.. Didn’t see that coming.
  • I have great memories of listening to Cubs games with my grandpa when I was young just he and I on the front porch.
  • In Sunday School my teacher had a contest for attendance, Bible verse, and bring your Bible. The top three winners won a trip to Wrigley Field. I won.
  • I noticed the necklace at an away game a few years later and she claimed to remember me (who wouldn’t I know).
  • That might be the necklace I gave her on her birthday when I was 10. When you had dinner, did she mention a little boy named Eddie with a pocket full of crayons?
  • I enjoy the strategy utilized by NL managers in various game situations, especially in the late innings.
  • I’m a traditionalist. Put your pitchers in the cages during spring training. Teach them how to bunt. Teach them how to swing the bat. Make them learn how to run and slide.
  • The business of the game will win this argument and at some point the NL will have the DH, much to my chagrin. The players union will see to it that the DH is not removed.
  • Can we DH for David Ross and let the pitcher hit when in an AL park?
  • Underwood was great in LA Law.
  • Underwood? Balls. Final answer.
  • I’m fine starting the season with the horses we have and letting Maddon tinker away.
  • I think this thread can be summarized in one word: balance. Last season our offense was way too swing and miss oriented, so Theo went out and got Heyward and Zobrist and their high OBPs to balance things out and get some bodies on base for all those taters. The Cubs have 2 dudes who hit so damn well they need to find somewhere for them to play in the field. Our infield defense is great, and so is Heyward, so the Cubs can afford to have a couple of guys out there who aren’t gold glove caliber.
  • When things were worst, my dad and I could always talk about baseball. Cubs baseball would always cut the tension and allow us to reconnect.

Lizard

  • It’s been a very real joy to write here.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Adam Peters, Bilyuds, and Sue Draper for their first 2015 Off-Season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker, Eddie von White, and Jared , our Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time! Thank you all!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Doug S
4. Eddie von White
4. Jared
7. Seymour Butts
8. Bryan
9. Nate Usher
10. Bartz
10. Brad Lyerla
10. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Joe Aiello
10. Sean Powell

Chit Chat

Jared touched on this the other day, but since we’ve entered the month during which Spring Training begins we’ve got baseball right around the corner, so I’ll review some pertinent dates:

  • Friday, February 19 – Pitchers and catchers report
  • Tuesday, February 23 – Position players report
  • Thursday, March 3 – First Spring Training exhibition game (away vs. Milwaukee, available on mlb.com)
  • Saturday, March 5 – First radio broadcast (home vs. Cincinnati, 670 AM, 2:05 pm CT)
  • Wednesday, March 16 – First television broadcast (away vs. Kansas City, CSN, 3:05 pm CT)

Now, for the chatting. Have you ever attended any Cubs Spring Training games? Will you be heading there this year?

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GirlieView (01/21/2016)

Thursday, January 21st, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Jared owes 1.2B on his student loans.
  • Sounds familiar.
  • I would tag along with Raker.
  • I’d buy the place next to Raker’s house and send my kids over there to raise hell.
  • Treat Seymour to a fancy sub, like a chicken bacon ranch melt. Oh, and some Sun Chips.
  • Did I mention I attended the no-hit game?
  • No shit?
  • one too many letters.
  • I think Maddon gets credit for alleviating the yips
  • So, St. Louis loses Jason Heyward. I feel bad for them, but at least they still have professional football. Oh, wait…
  • the prices for these things just keep going up, but fans keep spending the money, so we can’t really complain too loudly at the organizations.
  • All I can say is free market. Every game is sold out at Wrigley. People are willing to pay 9 bucks a beer and 120 to get in, so that’s what they charge.
  • I know many were disappointed when he didn’t get the managing job here several years ago, but it wouldn’t have turned out well. It was probably better to let Mike Quade take the reins at the time.
  • I am a big Ryne Sandberg fan but I had no delusions he would be a good manager. Great players don’t always make good managers.
  • cue the Cindy Sandberg jokes in 3…2…
  • Dave Martinez, Raphael Palmeiro and Seattle Slew walk into a bar…
  • Why the long face?
  • 12″ pianist?
  • I now expect to see balls and strikes called automatically in my lifetime.
  • Yes balls are now under constant observation and protection. No more just throwing the sack in a heap on the ground until needed. They now receive great care. We can all thank Tom Brady for that…or maybe it was Ming Sue at the massage parlor, I forget which.
  • Did you know campers at Randy’s camp can request a high or low pitch from the pitching machine. “Hey, Randy, set that thing for thigh high cookies, can’t rake with pitches at my eyes.”
  • Randy must not have heard about the 1887 rule change.
  • Half of the campers love it, since camp rules like this take them back to the rules of their childhood.
  • Right…and the other half are the older ones who can’t remember anything at all.
  • It includes groupies, they bus them in from Sunset Assisted Living.
  • Worth every penny – without question. Incredible once in a lifetime event. Except for Seymour, to whom it is an annual thing, kind of like a birthday, Christmas, or shower.
  • They may have changed the strike zone in 1969, but they forgot to tell the umpires
  • We had an intern start today… Calvin, spelled Kalvyn. Just stop it everyone.
  • Probably best not to even talk to him. Parents must have raised him to be litigious.

Lizard

  • The league is going to do its best to adjust to this young team, and now they need to avoid any sophomore jinxes, and keep improving.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout out to cap’n realist for his first 2015 Off-Season Lizzie!!!! Thanks for dropping by!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Doug S
5. Eddie von White
5. Jared
7. Seymour Butts
8. Bryan
9. Nate Usher
10. Bartz
10. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Joe Aiello
10. Sean Powell

Chit Chat

I might have hinted last time at maybe being a little bit tired of the off-season jibber jabber … look back, look ahead, what to expect, what went right, what went wrong, all of which points directly to our off-season boredom. So I’m going the pop culture route today. And it’s ok if you don’t like it. I’m sure a real baseball column will follow shortly!

I’m curious about what people like/dislike on TV. Especially during the winter months, which is pretty much the only time I watch any. I don’t watch much. But these shows come to mind for one reason or another, some of them because I watch them, others because they’re in the news, and others just to round out the list.

How about you? Do you watch and/or have any opinions about any of these shows?

a. Fargo (the series, not the 90s movie)
b. American Idol (you can admit it. We won’t hold it against you.)
c. Making a Murderer
d. Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee
e. Angie Tribeca
f. Last Man on Earth
g. Schitt’s Creek
h. Bloodline

And, do you have any other favorites? Just curious. Consider it a bit of a sociology experiment. And thanks for answering. You probably realize your participation in my chit chat (especially when it’s a silly topic) makes me happy. And a happy Lizzie awards more Lizzies. ;-)

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GirlieView (01/07/2016)

Thursday, January 7th, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Montero as trade bait seems a little unlikely at present, of course a baseball season stretching over 2 calendar years also seems unlikely.
  • Ross was the easiest out in the line up except for Jon Lester, all the other pitchers hit better than Ross.
  • Can’t get enough of this blossoming friendship.
  • I’ve fallen out of the top 10 leaderboard. Either my checks to Lizzie have been bouncing or it’s proof you actually have to comment once in a while to win a lizzie or two.
  • This “Team of Zobrists” idea is not original to me (credit to Gunther Dabynsky for this), but I think it’s very much what we are seeing the philosophy of the team turn into, at least defensively.
  • This is probably more amusing to me than it should be, but I am delighting more than a little bit in how much the Cardinals fans are sweating the Cubs.
  • Merry Christmas, I hope no one bought the Cubs ugly sweater because it is really ugly.
  • My bold prediction – in 35 starts, David Ross bats .455 with 21 homers and 77 RBI. He also spot-starts and throws a perfect game to newly re-acquired 48-year-old catcher Rick Wilkins, who was picked up after Montero went down with explosive diarrhea after binging on all-you-can-eat wings at Golden Corral. I figure the bolder, the better.
  • No way Golden Coral is still offering all you can eat wings in 2016.
  • I am still so broken up over the accusations against Tyler Teaparty that I can barely work today. Tanner Teapot was one of my favorite players, and for that Al Jazz-eared guy to say those things was off-putting, to say the least. How our heroes can fall. And I was hoping that Thurston Teesdale would catch on as Kyle Hendrick’s personal receiver.
  • The fact that David Ross got so many starts hints at Teagen Taygarden’s value to the Cubs.
  • David Ross homered as a pitcher this year…but NOT as a catcher.
  • This moment makes the cut because I was at Wrigley to witness this game, and I can tell you, it was the most electric regular-season-in-negative-million-degrees-meaningless-game I’ve ever attended.
  • Only went to two games this year. Saw Bryant’s first homer in Milwaukee and his scoreboard shot at Wrigley on my birthday. Good stuff.
  • What I’ll miss about Castro is simply the child-like enjoyment he seemed to get from the game of baseball.
  • Surprised nobody posted “Schlitter being sent to Iowa” in their top 5.
  • Jake’s PJs were decorated with moustaches and he was happy to appear before the cameras decked out in his night wear. I guess the Cubs should have expected nothing less on that unusual night in an unusual season for an unusually talented pitcher.
  • Steve Stone: Watching how the Houston Astros approached him that day, for one day in the life of Kerry Wood, he probably understood how it felt to be godly as far as a pitcher is concerned, because they didn’t touch the ball. They didn’t get close to another hit. It was impossible. Len Kasper: I really dig when Pete Townshend smashes his guitar while on stage.
  • Maybe not making a move really isn’t a “move” but not making a move is certainly a DECISION…and it’s one I’m okay with at this point.
  • This is must see baseball.
  • I don’t know how many of you will take the time to read VFTB first thing in the morning on New Year’s Day, but I have to say how much I appreciate the people who take the time to read each post.
  • We don’t always agree on things but no doubt the dialogue on VFTB is far more entertaining and informative then other places
  • Baseball is cerebral, its played as much between the ears as it is with skill.
  • There is no stat for a hitter that is absolutely intimidated by a pitcher who could tell him what he’s throwing and it wouldn’t matter, or a hitter who is so locked in that it won’t matter what is thrown, he’s going to hit it, and hard.
  • It’s still the only sport I’m aware of where the defense controls the ball, and that makes it for me.
  • Well I guess I’ll read this again.
  • this year I’ll be headed to Mesa to partake in the spring training festivities for the first time, crossing something off my “baseball bucket list” that has been there for quite a while.
  • Realized I left David Ross off of this hypothetical bench, so that makes things even more interesting.
  • That’s the only bench he belongs on…other than maybe a park bench.
  • My advice on Spring Training: Have a great time. I can’t imagine any destination more fun than Spring Training – especially this year with the Cubs.

Lizard

  • In all, it’s been a really, really nice December for Cubs fans.

Shout Outs

  • No one had their very first 2015 Off-Season Lizzie this time so let’s have a shout out for everyone! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Jared Wyllys, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Doug S
5. Jared
6. Eddie von White
7. Bryan
8. Seymour Butts
9. Nate Usher
10. Bartz
10. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Joe Aiello
10. Sean Powell

Chit Chat

  • It’s always difficult to think of things to chat about in mid-January. We’ve done a whole lot of “look back at last season” and “what to think about next season” posts so let’s talk about something fun. The PowerBall, as I write this, sits at $500 million. By the time you read this in the morning, you will know that you didn’t win the PowerBall and I will know that I didn’t either. But let’s pretend you did. What’s something fun you would do with the money?
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GirlieView (12/24/2015)

Thursday, December 24th, 2015

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • It’s clear that the rebuild is over: the young core is in place, key veterans have been added, and the team has their ideal manager.
  • This front office understands that the playoffs are a crapshoot, and the best way to win a championship is to buy a lottery ticket every year…not just every decade.
  • I don’t think you trade Baez, who still has monster potential, for a 4th starter with 3rd starter potential. We already have pitchers like that, and Baez is a rare talent.
  • Hold me and tell me everything will be alright.
  • I like the Zobrist signing and moving Castro to the Yanks. But it must be said, that for all of his lapses on and off the field during his time here, Starlin really impressed me this past season. He handled losing his starting position and the subsequent move to second with as much dignity and professionalism as you could ask of anyone. Then, after the move to second, he hit like a monster all fall and was a very important contributor to the play off run. I wish him well.
  • One Cubs move for Christmas? Vancouver, BC please.
  • Sherm is a Lizzie monster, EVW is the Washington Nationals of Lizzies right now, all that hype with little results.
  • It is the off season. I’m busy working out and honing my skills for Opening Day, which can’t get here soon enough by the way.
  • Len would say EVW is Thin on Lizzies right now.
  • I must be on the naughty list, I have been stuck in 10th for a few weeks.
  • When I first starting commenting on this blog a few years ago, I thought, “Eventually I will understand what all these inside jokes are about.” Now I am close to the realization that no, I won’t, either because (like my wife says) I lack common sense, or perhaps there actually aren’t any inside jokes (again, I lack common sense).
  • Come to our VFTB spring training dinner and we will bring you up to speed. Don and Charlie’s in Scottsdale, everyone will be there except Seymour, he usually goes to Subway instead since he doesn’t like to tip.
  • I’d like to thank Lizzie (aka “the Academy”) who gleans through thousands of posts every few weeks, reading over the lunacy and stupidity that we spew forth, and then giving us the chance to re-read the stupidest ones, and hail, each fortnight, a new king of fools.
  • Without Joe, half of you would still be in AOL chat rooms pretending to be teenage girls. So, thanks, Joe.
  • I’d like to thank the Chicago Cubs – because for the first time in almost forever, we’ve gone from Lovable Losers to just LOVABLE.
  • Ton of money, but what the heck. Go Cubs. I’m fine with Coghlan as the 4th OF FWIW. What’s the over / under of different lineups Maddon uses next year?
  • Both of those signings made us better and the Cardinals worse. You have to love that. I wonder if that was happenstance, or by design?
  • The fans in the Rockies are going to need to drink when Schlitt happens. How far will a Schlitter fastball travel in the Rockies?
  • What a great time to be a fan of the Chicago Cubs.
  • I’d feel better having Ross start the game and bringing in Hammel in the 3rd.
  • Hammel hits better than Ross.
  • I feel like Theo and Jed went with the old Konami cheat code to get this done. Everything had to go in a perfect sequence or the deals couldn’t get done.
  • There is no way we youngsters will get that Konami reference.
  • This was some great writing made better by a Konami code reference!
  • I remember now – I was thinking “Sure, Arietta will probably win a Cy Young and become the most dominating pitcher in baseball…but this Strop idiot will likely wear his hat sideways.” Yeah, that’s what it was.
  • This is far from a comprehensive outlook, but in all, the Cubs of 2016 are much, much stronger because of Heyward, both at the plate and in the field.
  • Man, the hatred pouring out from some Cards fans on Heyward is over the top.
  • Well, when the only thing that can motivate you in St Louis is the baseball team losing your best player hurts especially when you lose him to the Cubs. It is going to be a long miserable summer on the Mississippi. I look forward to it, with glee.
  • Rod Johnson, John Peterson, Peter Weenerson.
  • Peter Weenerson chokes up too much
  • Len drives a Hyundai. No. Len drives a – wait for it…REO SPEEDWAGON!!!
  • The Cubs in 2016 will look somewhat different at the outset of the year. But, there is one aspect where continuity should remain: winning.
  • He has a very tall frame.
  • He is rather slender.
  • He reminds me of Heidi Klum, except that he’s black and completely different looking
  • There’s also different dangly bits. Presumably.

Lizard

  • Never been a big Heyward fan but I’m pretty fickle – doesn’t take much to change my mind.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Brad Lyerla, Chris O’Reilly, Elijah Knepper, and Sean Powell for their first 2015 Off-Season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go Sherm!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Doug S
5. Eddie von White
6. Bryan
6. Seymour Butts
8. Jared
9. Nate Head
10. Jerry in Wisconsin

Chit Chat

First, Merry Christmas to all my friends here at VFTB. And really, you’ve become my friends over the years. I read every word you say then I go back and re-read it all again. We spend a lot of time together, LOL. We quibble, we laugh, we agree, we disagree, we alternately like and don’t like each other on any given day. But we all still show up! That sounds a lot like friends to me. Thanks for being here.

Next, since probably no one’s even around to be reading this on Christmas Eve, I’ll make today’s chit chat question simple. It’s one of my go-to favorites, and it can be asked over and over again since moves are always being made. Who is your favorite current Cub?

Merry Christmas!

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GirlieView (12/10/2015)

Thursday, December 10th, 2015

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Starlin Castro. 145 hits in the regular season. 6 in the post season, and 11 in the pre-season. That equals 162, I know. But…he did take 47 hits on Fernando Rodney’s bong at Pedro Strop’s birthday party, so he’s way over 200 for the season.
  • One point, mon.
  • It is never too early to speculate when it comes to baseball.
  • I am thankful for the health of my family. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
  • Sherm’s muscling in on my short-lived turf. I’d better head down to Iowa and work on my delivery.
  • I’m thankful for being able to look Cardinals fans in the eye and see their fear. It’s been awhile.
  • Thankful for my VFTBuds and my wife, kids, etc. Here’s to food comas…
  • Do you eat more calories or less calories with that triangle mouth? Is there a dietary advantage or disadvantage?
  • I am thankful for my beautiful wife, my sometimes-well-behaved kids, and an off-season of hope.
  • Baez should be playing [CF] in winter ball…
  • I like the Joan Baez in CF idea, so does Len Kasper.
  • Ryan Theriot, Vance Law, Mike Fontenot, Mike Olt, Glenallen Hill, Nomar Garciapara, and Chris Denorfia.
  • Close.
  • Hector Villaneuva, Jacque Jones, Scott Bullett, Howard Johnson, Tuffy Rhodes, Steve Beuchele, and Jeff Blauser
  • Derek Lee, Mark Grace, Ernie Banks, Leon Durham, Tony Campana, Goose Gossage, Brian Schlitter.
  • Cap Anson, Jimmy Ryan, Fred PFeffer (sic), Turk Wendell, Wendell Yosh, Mitch Williams, Matt Murton nude.
  • Anson Williams, Price Pfister, Buddy Ryan, Gorman Thomas, Thurman Thomas, Roy Munson, and Fred Mertz
  • Andy Thompson, Tom Peterson, Pete Johnson, John Dickson, Dick Richardson, Richard Capson, Cap Andyson.
  • Dick Richardson is one hell of a name.
  • He was good. Played in the same infield as Snake D’Longhi. I remember the time he got yanked. Out of the game. He had two balls on him at the time. I thought he really got the shaft.
  • I’m watching the football game, and it’s 20 degrees and snowing, and NO ONE is wearing as much winter wear as the Cubs did against the Mets in the playoffs.
  • Yeah…the pinstriped sweater vests were probably overkill.
  • they need one or two quality pitchers that do not come with max contract price tags to solidify the back end of the rotation.
  • In Theo I trust. I think. So far. Don’t screw it up.
  • You guys are remembering the two runs over seven innings Smarja, not the Smarja getting the hook in the 5th with the bases loaded and six on the board. That’s not your #3.
  • Haven’t been this dissapointed since we lost out on Byung Ho.
  • I like how this guy presumes internet users to be millenials.
  • Ah the 70s. I believe that’s when I discovered just how much fun you could have with a good book…and a handful of Kleenex.
  • He is a player that needs to stay wherever he is most comfortable and only he knows where that would be.
  • I’m thinking it would be pretty damn cozy nestled between Jake and Jon…
  • Baez in center. What a brilliant idea. I wish I’d have thought of that. Oh, wait…
  • I thought Clear Pepsi was a good idea
  • Lackey and Leakey. Len would definitely crack some sweet jokes about that.
  • Lackey, Leake and LOOKIE (which is what Lester does instead of THROWING to first)

Lizard

  • I don’t want to see any of the young core traded. They’re fun to watch. I don’t want them to spent $200M on a David Price because I want them to keep Arrieta and Bryant and Russell, et al. for as long as they can. Teams that are close can be so quick to pull the trigger on BIG deals when little deals are all that are necessary. Maybe that’s why we haven’t seen a big deal. Maybe the FO is all over it…and the dream season of 2015 can go on for a few more years. I hope so.

Shout Outs

  • No one had their very first 2015 Off-Season Lizzie this time so let’s have a shout out for everyone! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
3. Doug S
5. Seymour Butts
6. Jared
7. Bryan
7. Nate Head
9. Eddie von White
10. Bartz
10. Buddy
10. Jedi
10. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Joe Aiello

Chit Chat

  • Hard to believe, but the next GirlieView will post on Christmas Eve! If the Cubs could make one move between now and then, what would you like it to be? Consider it their Christmas gift to you!
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GirlieView (11/26/2015)

Thursday, November 26th, 2015

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Excellent choice for the Lizard, even if it was not mine.
  • Turkey time is for being with family. It reminds you why you avoid them for the rest of the year.
  • Labatt Blues on Doug!
  • I’m bored.
  • This post was that bad?
  • No, he just tripped and fell under a drill press.
  • The post is fine, just bored without Cubs baseball.
  • Be bored no longer. https://twitter.com/LenKasper
  • Bryant, unanimous NL Rookie of the Year. No surprise except to Giant and Pittsburgh fans.
  • Both are also going to the Hall of Fame. Ortiz when he gets inducted, and Ross with his family some non-consequential weekend…
  • In the “Two birds, one stone” category, I call for the immediate replacement of Len Kasper with David Ross.
  • Anyhow, looking back is interesting. I didn’t think there was a chance in hell we would go to the NLCS. It was like playing bonus rounds or something.
  • The ending of the Cubs’ playoff run was bittersweet. Bitter that it ended, sweet that postseason baseball appears to be on the horizon for the north-siders in years to come.
  • Go Cubs! I’m ready for opening day!
  • I think Jake’s award is the sweetest given the tough competition. Glad he won.
  • :boom:
  • This pretty much explains why I think this would be a bad signing, “There’s no question that his 2015 season is one that he’s undoubtedly anxious to have put behind him. It was bad on all counts.” Expecting 2016 to be better is just fingers crossed
  • I don’t blame the guy for being happy about going back to Chicago. He was leaving Oakland. Ever been there?
  • I have felt Samardzija is like the ex who treated you bad and you are still thinking about getting back together, even though they spent a year with some smug a-hole (ChiSox).
  • Smarja strikes me as a half wit, someone who has all the physical potential in the world but doesn’t have the head to understand how to put it together.
  • How about if we just pass?
  • I think Sacagawea thinks he’s worth more than he is.
  • No. Just no.
  • Maybe they think he can trim the ivy. Ohhhh….Gardner! Never mind.
  • No way the Shark signs a short-term deal. I’m guessing four years.
  • David Ross was a better pitcher than hitter.
  • I know a few. Arrieta, Lester, super skinny reliever, the guys with the hair-dos, the guys with the hair-dos and beards, Pierced Johnson, the guy with the beard but without the hair-do, either Jason Hammel or Hamels.
  • And Crane Kenney is the President of Business Operations, meaning he looks after important stuff like beer sales and not running out of hotdog buns
  • Does Crane handle bobblehead operations too? I’d love to see an ‘Addison Russel fishing in a Juicy Fruit boat’ bobble.
  • For six bucks, I am SO all over that. (Don’t tell Raker, if I’m his secret Santa…he’s getting it. We still do secret Santa here, right?)

Lizard

  • First, Kris Bryant won the NL Rookie of the Year award on Monday. Next, skipper Joe Maddon was announced NL Manager of the Year on Tuesday. Finally, the trifecta was completed last night with the crowning of Jake Arrieta as NL Cy Young winner.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Buddy, Chet West, Chicago1908, and Nate Head for their first 2015 Off-Season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker and Seymour Butts, our co-Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time! What a pair!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Doug S
1. Sherm
3. jswanson
4. Doc Raker
5. Seymour Butts
6. Jared
7. Bryan
7. Nate Head
9. Eddie von White
10. Jedi
10. Jerry in Wisconsin

Chit Chat

  • Happy Thanksgiving! Tell me what you’re thankful for (from a Cubs perspective, or otherwise.) If you’re not thankful for anything, tell me what you’re eating!
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GirlieView (11/12/2015)

Thursday, November 12th, 2015

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • for once, it wasn’t about goofy curses or jinxes. It was just good old fashioned bad baseball. No goat, no black cat, no Bartman. Just crappy baseball. That was paradoxically refreshing.
  • To quote him roughly: “On behalf of all of America, thank you for beating the Cardinals. Nobody likes the Cardinals. Nobody.”
  • In defense of those who are having a difficult time accepting the 2015 demise of the Cubs (myself included), it’s a grieving process.
  • Remember what does not kill you makes you stronger.
  • This is the first time the Cubs have been this close with both obvious flaws and the resources to fix them.
  • I hope the FO thinks carefully about David Price. I’m not so sure.
  • Can he throw to first base? Does he have a personal catcher that can’t hit?
  • Even worse. He likes 80s hair bands.
  • Shit week all around. In Iowa for work and the whole Mets thing.. not sure what is worse yet. Sick kids, so literal shit in the mix. On the bright side, my wife is one step closer to sainthood, I’m back in MT, and the Cubs are still really very good.
  • Pierce whom? I’ve missed you guys.
  • Got to have a Johnson somewhere.
  • So… did I miss anything?
  • Swanson gets the crack, congrats.
  • Lizzie’s revolving around the terms “Hard” or “Wood”.
  • Lizzie’s involving CAPS that he does not “get”.
  • Lizzie’s sucking up to Lizzie for the sole purpose of getting a Lizzie.
  • Jake looks good without the beard, I am not a fan of excessive facial hair on either gender.
  • Here’s what I do want – keep that young, strong, athletic lineup intact, and add some quality pitching to it. Then you become the Royals.
  • KEEP THE CORE.
  • FA…don’t trade. I’d go with Zimmerman maybe.
  • Zimmerman, then maybe Price…then anyone else…then Samardzija.
  • I don’t know what we had in Wada, exactly, but I’m surprised he didn’t get more of a chance.
  • When will MLB realize that recycling these “old-school” guys doesn’t translate into winning today’s game?
  • I will take a shot of juice for $1M.
  • That wouldn’t be fair to the other middle-aged optometrists in the Cubs’ org.
  • I didn’t go to camp to have fun, I went to get signed. Warning track power got me a few inside the parkers since the 65 year old accounts where playing at 250 feet in the outfield giving them a 170 foot run to get my ball which took them 3 minutes and 28 seconds just for them to pick the ball up. Add three missed relays and all I had to do was cross home plate while watching the face of a disappointed catcher because the ball never made it to him at all, or even back into the infield for that matter. I thought Hendry should of given me a contract but he said the speed of the game is a little bit different at the professional level.
  • This news doesn’t come as a suprise, but Aramis Ramirez officially retired yesterday after 18 seasons. He was with the Cubs from a mid season trade in 2003 to the end of 2011. He was a favorite of mine
  • 1. Frontline starting pitcher to add to the rotation
  • 2. Psychologist for Jon Lester who can help him learn to throw to first and regulate his separation anxiety issues with David Ross, which leads to:
  • 3. Get some better catching.
  • 4. CF lead off guy.
  • 5. Resolve the pen.
  • Wait a minute….North of 200 mill for Price? No!!!!!
  • I’m with Doug on this one.
  • Me too. That’s too Pricey. (GET IT?)
  • If he could hit like he played defense, I’d bring back Reed Johnson.
  • He purportedly plays hard.
  • Bring back Reed and Scrappy McGrit Mike Fontenot and we’re talking.

Lizard

  • Now why would someone suck up to Lizzie just to get a Lizzie? Obviously someone as hard-working, smart, funny and beautiful as Lizzie would see right through that ;-)

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Bartz, Bryan, Doc Raker, Doug S, Eddie von White, Jared, Jedi, Jerry in Wisconsin, Joe Aiello, jswanson, Seymour Butts, and Sherm for their first 2015 Off-Season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doug S, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go Doug!

Top 10 of the 2015 Off-Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Doug S
2. jswanson
2. Sherm
4. Jared
5. Doc Raker
5. Seymour Butts
7. Bryan
8. Jerry in Wisconsin
9. Bartz
9. Eddie von White
9. Jedi
9. Joe Aiello

Chit Chat

  • You might remember last time I asked for some feedback on whether to change the timing or formatting of the GirlieView. Many thanks to everyone who gave suggestions! Everything’s staying the same (every two weeks, no Lizzie limit, one Lizard each time.) We’re always happy to re-visit if you have any other suggestions! Meanwhile, the next installment will be on Thanksgiving. What will you be doing this Thanksgiving?
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GirlieView (10/29/2015)

Thursday, October 29th, 2015

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • With 4 games left in the season, Kris Bryant is 10th in all of major league baseball in WAR
  • The Cardinals clinched the NL Central yesterday. This is probably a good thing because I think they are much more beatable in the NLDS than Pittsburgh would be.
  • In their wildest dreams, who would have thought the Cubs could win 95 games this year?
  • Nice outing by Lester yesterday. No matter how you slice and dice it, we need this guy to come up big in October.
  • Even if Arrieta doesn’t win the Cy Young, he still produced one of the best pitching seasons in Cubs history, and it was a pleasure to witness it.
  • We will finish the regular season at least 30 games above .500 Wow.
  • It’s the last day of the regular season, and I care.
  • Anyone who doubted the Epstein plan should be looking for crow recipes.
  • I will be bummed if Wednesday does not go as planned, but that does not change how much fun the ride has been this year.
  • Regular season has been over for about 17 hours, and apparently there are not five things we need to know today.
  • Apparently the 97 we already know are enough.
  • I guess we will be getting 15 things to know about the playoff game tomorrow.
  • I’d settle for a W and 20 things to know on Thursday.
  • Now you’re mixing Math and Algebra.
  • My nerves have been crazy for this one, but it is calming to realize that whatever happens tomorrow, they have already exceeded expectations. I think it also gets lost, with all the success of this year, that if this team matures as most young teams do, this offense will be downright scary for years to come.
  • I thought a season like this was essentially impossible in 2015.
  • It’s October 7th and the first thing on our minds is the Cubs.
  • At least Rodriguez finally got to hit something…the water cooler.
  • Same number of wins – only we keep going
  • Equally 98 wins, and equally 1 fewer pitchers HPB out of spite.. go Cubs!
  • Let’s go kick the shit out of the Cardinals
  • we have what it takes to take those dirty birds out. The Cardinals are nervous.
  • Even as the Cubs tacked on a fourth run on Fowler’s solo shot in the fifth inning, I still felt like I couldn’t exhale until the final out of the ninth inning.
  • I’m opposed to the whole idea of throwing at a player in general, but especially not at the pitcher. It felt like a move by a team that knew they were done, and they were just reaching for anything to make themselves feel better.
  • After a quick run-down of the implications of the WC game, Mrs. Swanson designated ‘elsewhere’ and ‘garage’ as possible viewing venues. Gesture of kindness.. no kids. I chose the later. Four-run lead so the littlest and I watched a few innings in the La-Z-Boy before her bedtime. It was the right choice for sure.
  • It doesn’t help Rizzo when LaStella bats behind him.
  • David Ross must have black mail pictures on Maddon
  • Last night the Cubs hitters from 3-6 were Kris Bryant, Anthony Rizzo, Starlin Castro, and Chris Coghlan. They combined for an 0-for-13 night with 5 K’s and 2 double plays. Not a single one reached base.
  • We’ve been Cub fans long enough to know that no amount of optimism can erase the worry in the back of our minds. A win today will change that.
  • I will admit my obvious bias here and say that if this were any other team in baseball, I’d be more inclined to believe it, but after Cardinals starter Jaime Garcia left the game yesterday, news slowly came out that he had apparently been suffering from a “stomach ailment.”
  • mega props to Sherm for getting Soler in there.
  • Watching them throw the ball all over the field and Molina not back up the play was most enjoyable and rewarding.
  • Maybe if Ross played first base when Lester pitched, he could throw there.
  • I prefer Wood, Travis not Seymours blue pill kind.
  • Not my pill…I just write your Rx.
  • CUBS WIN! even sweeter because I didn’t have to stay up late to see it happen!
  • So happy. Wish we could all hug it out..
  • Cubs- it means a baby Bear, a young Bear. Maybe the formula all along was to have a group of young talented players to naive to know they aren’t suppose to win.
  • I would really like to see Ross get a big hit at some point.
  • We all would.
  • Whatever does happen in the NLCS and going forward from there, I think something very important for the future of the Cubs happened in the NLDS: They beat St. Louis.
  • I didn’t feel like Lester pitched bad, but when you’re being called on to get a win, you have to pitch better.
  • The offense appeared to have NO game plan whatsoever. Swung at too many first pitches early and which kept Harvey’s pitch count low, and then later in the game when he was throwing EVERYONE a first pitch fastball…they’re taking.
  • This team has had streaks of good and bad all year long…unfortunately, we’ve hit a bad streak at the wrong time.
  • Let’s all mentally hold hands and say a prayer…
  • I don’t know if the Cubs will lose this series. More than likely they will, but I do know this. I know I’ll be in front of my television tonight watching game 4 and cheering my heart out and you should to.

Lizard

  • Well Fuck!

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to everyone for all your input, thoughtful commentary, humor, and friendship. VFTB couldn’t exist without you. (Well it could, but Joe would be lonely!) Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time around! Way to go!

Final 2015 Season Standings (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Eddie von White
2. Doc Raker
3. Seymour Butts
4. jswanson
5. Sherm
6. Joe Aiello
7. Doug S.
8. Jared Wyllys
8. Jedi
10. Dork
11. Bryan
12. Buddy
13. Katie
14. Jerry in Wisconsin
15. cap’n realist
16. Sean Powell
17. Mark from Toronto
17. Nick Dorey
17. Noah
20. Alex Botts
20. Chet
22. Jeremiah
22. King in the Nawth
24. Nate Head
25. Adam Peters
25. Bartz
25. Common Sense
25. Douglas Bath
25. Gaz
25. Josh
25. Kac
25. Michaer
25. mike
25. nmmatt
25. painhertz
25. RC
25. Tom

Chit Chat

  • So, that’s a wrap. It didn’t end the way we dreamed, yet at the same time it was so much better than we dreamed! We’re thinking of re-tooling the GirlieView in the off season to keep things interesting. Maybe every month instead of every other week. Maybe a limited number of Lizzies available for claiming each month, maybe unlimited (as current.) Maybe more than one Lizard. Do you have any ideas? What would you like to see? We’d love to hear your suggestions!
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