Author Archive

GirlieView (03/06/2014)

Thursday, March 6th, 2014

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • At the risk of seeming overly spirited, a. I miss the everydayness of baseball.
  • I think I got zipped out on the Lizzies, this is horrific. Not as horrific as the Cubs have been and look to be in 2014 but horrific none the less.
  • You and me both, Doc, but you must pull yourself together and try to go on. You’re just in a slump. It’s not personal. Lizzie loves everyone the same.
  • What part of this do you not understand: Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • “Now batting number 89 Will Shoeman, he played in AA last year and had the most doubles on Tuesday evenings in the month of May for the team.” Drivles Len Kasper. “It is Friday morning right now so let’s see how this at bat goes for Will.”
  • Starlin Castro got the spring training kiss of death from Bruce Levine earlier today…”He’s in the best shape of his life.”
  • You left Socci before the Canadian verse USA mens hockey game?
  • Talk to Joe. He didn’t give me enough in my VFTB expense account to stay any longer.
  • Which begs the questions, How much did Joe have to pay you to risk your life in Russia, and did you adopt any Russian Wolfhounds?
  • Personally I do not like a leadoff man that gets on base 28.4% of the time….but that’s just me. The sad thing is that I would have no idea who would be a better option at the leadoff role…
  • I have to agree with you Bill Fell, I would think Castro belongs in the 2 or 3 hole since he loves to swing. Can you believe I got zipped out on the Girlieview Lizzies? Does that seem right to you?
  • Is it just me, or do more threads die with some weird ass Raker-rant?
  • Nope, they usually die after a tangential CAPS response to a weird ass Raker-rant.
  • Expos are due.
  • I think it’s prudent to worry about the defense.
  • and the few min after where we say goodbye and gaze into each others virtual eyes and say “you hang up first, no you hang up first”
  • Worst Case Scenario: Jackson keeps striking out in 30% percent of his plate appearances and never sniffs the Majors again. Or, ever worse, he never sniffs the Majors again for the Cubs, gets DFA’d, the Cardinals pick him up, and then they magically fix him with that human sacrifice altar they have under Busch Stadium.
  • I thought Renteria came off fine, way better than Quade or Sveum ever did.
  • Darwin? Is that you?
  • Yes, it is, only it isn’t.
  • Here’s an item: eggs come from a chicken’s cloaca. Google that orifice and check back in.

Lizard

  • The good thing about the season being close is that even if we all hate each other, once the season starts we will all be rooting for the Cubs.

Shout Outs

  • Congratulations to Bill Fell and Dusty Baylor, both with their first off-season Lizzie this time around. Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker and Jerry in Wisconsin, our co-Most Valuable Lizzie-ers!

Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Doc Raker
3. Seymour Butts
4. Eddie von White
5. Sean Powell
6. Joe Aiello
7. Noah
8. Doug S.
9. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Jedi Johnson

Chit Chat

Let’s see, by now you might have a few spring training games under your belt, or if not you might at least be starting to peek at the roster options. Here’s a simple question. Who is your current favorite Cub? Mine is George Kottaras.

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GirlieView (02/20/2014)

Thursday, February 20th, 2014

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • If the “all expense paid” includes unlimited bottled water and a port-a-john, I’m in.
  • I bet the port-a-john would be cold, it is the winter olympics.
  • I understand it’s a 2 seater port-a-john
  • Not a big Olympic fan in general and even less so of winter games. I might, however, be enticed to watch whatever games are attached to the Roman Numerals XXX.
  • Greetings from Iowa. My primary take-away from this week of new job training is an urge to exit Iowa.
  • You’re raining on my parade of wanting to go to Des Moines to watch the AAA team. Must be some redeeming things, no?
  • Corn.
  • Scenario: Imagine you are suddenly the new Cubs owner/president/general manager/demigod.
  • I get flustered when my wife lets me decide where to go for dinner so I am out on this question.
  • C J Edwards can’t weigh more than a couple of bats.
  • First DP turned: Seymour Butts.
  • Gone is Carlos Marmol. To be honest, we could probably just stop right there, drop the mic and walk off the stage.
  • We’re now a shoo-in to take the Central.
  • Perhaps early NL favorite as well?
  • The Marlins inked Jeff Baker, so no.
  • If we could have made a certain other signing, we could have been a Shin-Soo Choo in to win it.

Lizard

  • I don’t understand why people always say things like “Trade him as soon as he shows anything” as if other GM’s have access just to the last week of stats and no film whatsoever. Front offices are not dumb. They know what they’re doing.

Shout Outs

  • We have no new Lizzie awardees this time around so shout outs to everyone! Thanks for keeping the off-season interesting!

MVL

  • Our fearless leader Joe Aiello is our Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time! Congratulations Joe!

Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Doc Raker
3. Seymour Butts
4. Eddie von White
4. Sean Powell
6. Joe Aiello
7. Noah
8. Doug S.
9. Jedi Johnson
10. Chuck

Chit Chat

Spring (training) is in the air! I know we have some differing opinions about Spring Training around these parts and I’m sure we can generate some spirited (gag) discussion around it. As I’m you can probably tell, that “spirited-ness” has been making me a little nuts lately. But carry on. If we all hate each other by the time the season starts so be it. So, tell us, how do you feel about Spring Training games (the first of which, by the way, will be televised exactly one week from today at 2:00pm CST on WGN)? I’ll start you off with some choices but feel free to elaborate:
a. I watch or listen every chance I get to see how the team is shaping up.
b. I watch or listen every chance I get but not with any expectations of reality, just because it’s baseball and baseball is fun!
c. I watch or listen occasionally but don’t pay very close attention until the season starts.
d. I primarily ignore it. Waste of my time.

 

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GirlieView (02/06/2014)

Thursday, February 6th, 2014

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • the only suggestion I’d make is to consider having open threads (Game 35 – Open Thread) when daily game threads become too much.
  • Wait!? Your mouth is not in the shape of a triangle? I am confused…
  • It took 3 surgical procedures to smooth out the corners. I think it turned out nicely.
  • The drawback is that his kids’ shape-sorting skills are going to diminish quickly.
  • I am very happy to be a co-MVL with Seymour!
  • I suggest you pick the place of dinning for the Co MVL celebration.
  • Hopefully there is a subway near Don and Charlie’s.
  • C’mon Seymour, at least upgrade to a toasted bun over at Quizno’s.
  • We’ll have lunch at Subway and dinner over at Don and Charlie’s. Raker is invited.
  • If we invite Raker we will triple the wine bill.
  • You buy lunch, I’ll buy dinner, and Raker can buy the drinks.
  • I’m honored to share the spot light with EVW as well.
  • Very good self- marketing ploy on behalf of Richard Sherman.
  • Bryan LaHair was released by his Japanese team. It will be interesting to watch the next episode of our favorite Japanese sitcom to see how they deal with this disappointment.
  • That episode pretty much writes itself.
  • the Cubs’ farm system is rocking the charts these days.
  • I blame Norm.
  • What ever happened to Dave? He would crap on anyine’s cornflakes.
  • Dave’s not here
  • , man.
  • I am pretty sure anybody with a baseball marble in their head will consider the upcoming 2014 Cubs season a wash.
  • Even when they win during this fine stretch of futility, I feel like they are losing.
  • yes we were the first group to play any organized ball on these fields.
  • I have reservations about whether or not we could call Randy camp either organized or baseball.
  • Getting the pitching machine a jersey would be a step in the right direction.
  • I love the Cubs because I am a baseball fan…I don’t love baseball because I am a Cubs fan.
  • before sabermetrics were the trend, before prospects were analyzed to death, and before the rooftops had seats on them, before Twitter was a thing, baseball was just… baseball.
  • Arguing with strangers on the internet about frivolous details strips joy out of the sport and makes enemies of people who would normally have been friends
  • What’s so bad about loving baseball without all the extra stuff?
  • To me the beauty about baseball is how you can enjoy it on so many levels.
  • the logistics of digging into the batters box without a pissed off wife at home are mind boggling.
  • I always made it my priority to make sure that kid got a hit or succeeded in some way on the field to contribute.
  • Baseball is one of the few things in the world that humans can’t ruin no matter how hard they try. Beer falls into that category as well.

Lizard

  • I believe in what they are doing, but I don’t have to enjoy it.

Shout Outs

  • A hearty shout out to Chet West and Still not Dave, each contributing his first off-season Lizzie(s) this time around.

MVL

  • We have three folks tied for Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time! Congratulations to Chet West, jswanson, and Seymour Butts. Keep up the good work gentlemen!

Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Doc Raker
2. jswanson
3. Eddie von White
3. Seymour Butts
5. Sean Powell
6. Noah
7. Joe Aiello
8. Jedi Johnson
9. Doug S.
10. Chuck

Chit Chat (Olympics Edition)

These are the sports of the Sochi 2014 Olympic Games. Which are your favorites?

  • Alpine Skiing
  • Biathlon
  • Bobsleigh
  • Cross Country Skiing
  • Curling
  • Figure Skating
  • Freestyle Skiing
  • Ice Hockey
  • Luge
  • Nordic Combined
  • Short Track Speed Skating
  • Skeleton
  • Ski Jumping
  • Snowboard
  • Speed Skating

Trivia Questions:

  • What (number) Winter Olympics are these? Bonus if you can tell us in Roman numerals!
  • There are fifteen sports listed above, but how many actual events are there? Hint, many of these sports have several different events, so the answer is way more than 15!
  • Twelve of these events are brand new this time around. Can you name some?

I will post the answers this afternoon. (I know you’re all capable of googling all of this but if you decide to do that please don’t ruin the fun for others by posting the answers immediately just so we all think you’re brilliant. We know you’re brilliant. Save us the display and let people guess a bit. Thanks! On the other hand if you give it an honest go, please post away! More power to you if you’re correct!)

Final Question: If I gave you an all-expense paid trip to Sochi, would you go?

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GirlieView (01/23/2014)

Thursday, January 23rd, 2014

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • I am committed to eating right , getting my proper rest and a moderate amount of Bushmills so I can deliver late in the season.
  • Surf and turf footlongs on Raker…
  • My Cubs resolution is not to become dreadfully depressed about the Cubs by June 1.
  • The Cubs will be here in Toronto for a 3 game series at the beginning of September and I hope to catch all 3 games as I haven’t seen them play in person in a couple of years. By that point in the season they should be totally out of it in the standings, but nonetheless I’m still looking forward to it.
  • And you will have choice seating.
  • Danny Rocket? Isn’t that the Brady Bunch kid’s rock star name?
  • I thought it was the red head from the Partridge Family when he was driving or doing other such illegal activities.
  • No countenance in baseball screams louder for a bag over it than Hunter Pence.
  • I’d take Clark at 3B over Ian Stewart.
  • If he speaks Spanish I suppose that’d qualify him to be the manager.
  • Not sure he is the first official mascot. They may be forgetting Marla Collins.
  • Or Cindy Sandberg…though that was probably unofficial.
  • This is not a controversial statement: over the past two seasons, the Cubs have not been good.
  • Where does Clark the Cub rank in these projections? I was hoping Soler would get the call before Clark, but just another Cubs fan pipe dream.
  • The bear is already being retrofitted. I hear he has an appearance scheduled at “Nuts on Clark” later this month.
  • Does that mean his last name will be Johnson?
  • Ballsy move.
  • I would say one good thing about current music: it is easier than ever to find very good Indie music.
  • Welcome back JJ.
  • I got engaged a couple months ago and our wedding is in April
  • I like the idea of signing Maholm.
  • Speaking of kids names, my wife and I are expecting #3 in May and we have no idea what to name him/her.
  • Jer-Smardja has a nice ring to it.
  • Satchel. Of course taking moniker advice from me is risky…
  • What happened to everyday names like Rock Shoulders?
  • The Cubs mascot is a boy, I saw it with my own two eyes.
  • I work from home so the commute is… short.
  • Chuck, Lizzie and I have the exact same commute.
  • I have been wondering where all this extra laundry was coming from…
  • I was wondering why my socks had a crease ironed in them.
  • You’re welcome.
  • Dear Denver. Thank you for taking out the Patsies yesterday
  • You root FOR a team to win, not BECAUSE they win.
  • My heart goes out to whomever will have to read your future comments shitting all over the Indians.
  • Geez you cock-eyed optimist…take off the rose colored glasses.
  • 45 years and “this” is your fish or cut bait season?
  • One thing that gets forgotten though is that you get the reverse sometimes. Minor leaguers that no one has ever heard of before play well above their potential and become significant contributing members to the team. Here’s to hoping the Cubs have a few diamond in the rough!

Lizard

  • There are other Cub blogs out there? I thought this was the only one!

Shout Outs

  • A hearty shout out to Bryan, Jeremiah Johnson, LVCubFan and Mark_from_Toronto, each contributing his first off-season Lizzie this time around. Many thanks!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Eddie von White and Seymour Butts, our co-Most Valuable Lizzie’ers this week!

Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Doc Raker
2. jswanson
3. Sean Powell
4. Eddie von White
5. Noah
5. Seymour Butts
7. Joe Aiello
8. Jedi Johnson
9. Chuck
10. Doug S.

Chit Chat

  • Denver or Seattle?

 

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GirlieView (01/09/2014)

Thursday, January 9th, 2014

We had precisely two articles posted since the last GirlieView two weeks ago. Special thanks to all our regulars for keeping the fun rolling even when the pickins are slim! xoxo

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • A few holiday wishes for the 2014 Cubs….1) HUGE improvement from Castro, Rizzo and Castillo
  • 7) A team that can win.
  • 11) Barney slugs .300
  • 12) Cubs find a 3rd baseman who sticks at the position as long as Ron Santo did.
  • I’d settle for “Cubs find a 3rd baseman”
  • if [Tanaka] sees it just as a city in the middle of the country with a bad team (and poor player facilities), would it even be possible to land him at all?
  • Of course Tanaka will sign with the Cubs. Who wouldn’t want to play with stars like Darwin Barney, Donnie Murphy, Ryan Sweeney and Brooks Raley?
  • It is always about the money.
  • “Welcome Mr. Tanaka, what kind of tunes do you have on your iPod? Have you been to Dinseyland yet? I always see lot’s of Japanese tourist at Disneyland, maybe you will know some of them.”
  • What do you call a guy named Tanaka? I’m going with “Tank.”
  • Maybe a physician-certified list of the finest sandwich shop chains in the Wrigleyville area would bring him in.
  • I’d bat Lizzie ahead of any of those 70 y/o tax attorneys.
  • I would hit Lizzie ahead of the Cap’n and Seymour.
  • Yes, we are all aware of your domestic violence history. Odd that you would brag about it.
  • the Bears’ mediocrity merely begets more mediocrity.
  • Really what you’ve come into at most high schools these days is that the QB is the best all around athlete.
  • Also, how many of those elites get too caught up slinging bifocals, townhouses, or pacemakers and end up writing instead of receiving checks in Mesa?
  • And eating giant cornbread pizzas.
  • I think they are all about rib steaks and filets. One guy is into surf and turf, which is of course a 6″ roast beef sub and 6″ tuna sub wrapped in the same paper.

Lizard

  • Happy New Year All.

Shout Outs

  • A hearty shout out to Buddy, who contributed his first off-season Lizzie this time around.

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker our Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time! (Twice in a row!)

Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Doc Raker
2. jswanson
3. Sean Powell
4. Noah
5. Joe Aiello
6. Eddie von White
7. Seymour Butts
8. cap’n obvious
8. Jedi Johnson
10. Doug S.
10. Jerry in Wisconsin

Chit Chat

  • Make some New Year’s Resolutions for your 2013 Chicago Cubs!

 

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GirlieView (12/26/2013)

Thursday, December 26th, 2013

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! I wrapped up the tallying a bit early this time around (Sunday afternoon) but all your comments after that will count for next time!

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • I love being optimistic, but I’m getting worn out!
  • We all want it to happen now but just like Christmas morning we have to wait.
  • I think a part of it is that not all that many major moves really make sense for the Cubs.
  • I am bored, can we make fun of Seymour, CAPS or Jedi?
  • Just eat grass. It works for cows.
  • Not a physician, but I’d suggest adding reduced-fat-by-boiling-it-out-Ramen to that list.
  • Bogusevic for Justin Ruggiano. He is rumored to have more power than Bogusevic, and confirmed to have an easier name to spell.
  • I know that is unconventional out of the box thinking that will garner laughter and ridicule but some day a manager will do that and be successful and then every team will do it. Mark this post, you heard it here first kids.
  • Why are you not in the front office? Those guys could use some of your (fore)sight.
  • Waiting for an offer……………
  • Can I be your minion?
  • Sure, Seymour too so we have someone to entertain us.
  • I Wada preferred Mark Grace in the booth, at least Grace would never deny there is drinking in the game.
  • So we got Hottovy on the hot stovey but we were frozen out of the winter meetings?
  • Seymour was whining about the $22 he was forced to spend at a restaurant that had waitress service, he just didn’t understand why we couldn’t all go to Quizno’s for $8.95 including chips and a fountain drink.
  • BTW my and the missus Thanksgiving meal? Subway! Who knew they would be open.
  • The one problem for Hendricks has been the major leagues
  • That was my one problem too, which is why I ended up in church league softball.
  • Seems to be a recurring theme for most of the guys that the Cubs promote.
  • It’s that pesky ‘major league’ problem that plaques the Cubs, if we could just compete at the AA level we would having a winning season, at least sometimes.
  • Jim Hendry finally got Brian Roberts.
  • Although, in fairness, Hendry probably would have immediately given Roberts a 6 year extension upon signing him, so at least we dodged that bullet.
  • He likes sushi, summer drives to the beach in convertibles and romance movies, he always brings kleenex to the movie theatre.
  • Sorry, romance movies and kleenex are the deal breakers.
  • We do know that Raker is advocating being in, but just a little bit. Just the tip, as it were.
  • they could replace him with Matt Murton and Bryan LaHair type players. They will fill stadiums.
  • You mean they do that as well as star in sitcoms?

Lizard

  • I think the extent to which Adam Dunn would have been a disaster in right field cannot be overstated.

Shout Outs

  • Congratulations to Bones, Katie, and Rob Willer for winning their first off-season Lizzies this time around.

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker our Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time!

Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Doc Raker
2. jswanson
2. Sean Powell
4. Joe Aiello
5. Noah
6. Eddie von White
6. Seymour Butts
8. cap’n obvious
9. Jedi Johnson
10. Doug S.

Chit Chat

  • What was your favorite Christmas gift? (This year, or ever! You choose!)
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GirlieView (12/12/2013)

Thursday, December 12th, 2013

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Here’s to Kottaras adding a bunt, bloop, flare, duck snort, cattle fart or texas leaguer to every 10 at bats to make the saber world quiver. OPA!
  • They are pretty reserved when it comes to duck snorts, due to the vagaries of ducks snorts snorted into the field of play.
  • Why does it worry me when I read “I think Cubs fans will realize quickly how good we had it last year”….???
  • Joe, just how large is your closet that you have all of these old scouting reports in them? Is there room for clothing?
  • I only wear a fig leaf.
  • Did I not tell you? I only wear a fig leaf. They take up little to no room in the closet. I went that route as the scouting reports began to pile up.
  • Happy 50th Birthday to Dr. Raker! On the downward slope to 100 now.
  • There is, of course, no fool like an old fool. Don’t forget to pack your Metamucil.
  • It’s riddled with discontentment and complaints over what we have, coupled with excessive whining over what we don’t have.
  • Fans of a team that simply are exhausted.
  • Did Shark steal your girlfriend at some point?
  • Maybe the Cubs should field a Japanese team. Then we would either win their championship or be a failure on two continents.
  • Stop. You had me at “Stick your hands in my sack and pull out a marble.”
  • Preceded by “Close your eyes.”
  • As so long as DB has developed an out-pitch this off-season, I’m fine with this move.
  • Dude is an OF.
  • Anything can happen when the hot stove is cooking with gas, Chuck.

Lizard

  • Close your eyes. Stick your hands in my sack and pull out a marble.

Shout Outs

  • Congratulations to Chuck, Doug S, Jerry in Wisconsin, and Sherm for winning their first off-season Lizzies this time around.

MVL

  • Congratulations to Joe Aiello our Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time!

Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sean Powell
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
3. Joe Aiello
5. cap’n Obvious
5. Seymour Butts
7. Noah
8. Eddie von White
8. Jedi Johnson
8. Doug S.

Chit Chat

  • I got nothin’. Who wants to suggest a topic?
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GirlieView (11/28/2013)

Thursday, November 28th, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving! I wish for all of you a day full of love, laughter, and lots of good eats!

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • it could signify that the front office sees Wellington Castillo as a long-term piece.
  • “Would you like to make that a combo?” is what Seymour is used to hearing from his waitress.
  • What frustrates me is the fact that people in this fan base get attached to a player for whatever reason and then fail to see when that player hurts the team by being a part of it.
  • I want to consistently root for my team deep into October year in and year out.
  • I am for any move that makes the Cubs better but the greatest game of baseball is such an intricate game the definition there in of ‘better’ is open for debate.
  • A Cub fan goes into every year knowing we aint gonna win! So we latch onto a player(s) to make the season bearable.
  • Of course, if the Cardinals trade for him, he’ll probably never miss a game again.
  • Kirkus Reviews, a leading American book review for more than 80 years, called it an “entertaining, fantastical adventure” and a “well-paced, delightful children’s book with a moral that’s clear without being heavy-handed.”
  • I read the first sentence, “The Cardinals look to remain the class of the NL Central’, and just couldn’t go on.
  • If it makes you feel any better, I had about as much fun writing that sentence as you had reading it.
  • I’m not sure I’m ready for names like “Stryker” yet.
  • Stryker belongs in a rotation with Balfour. A Stryker can only make a Balfour better.
  • Arismendy (my favorite prospect first name) Alcantara

Lizard

  • Not a rumor: MLB will be instituting NFL-style replay challenges next season.

Shout Outs

  • Congratulations to Noah and Tom C for winning their first off-season Lizzies this time around.

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sean Powell our Most Valuable Lizzie’er for the second time in a row!

Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sean Powell
2. Doc Raker
3. jswanson
4. cap’n obvious
5. Joe Aiello
5. Noah
5. Seymour Butts
8. Eddie von White
8. Jedi Johnson
10. L lips es
10. Tom C

Chit Chat

Slim pickins this week on the Lizzies, so I’d better come up with some chit chat. What are you doing today? Cooking? Eating? Watching football? Making a step-by-step map-based shopping list for Black Friday? All of the above? Say hello and let us know!

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GirlieView (11/14/2013)

Thursday, November 14th, 2013

Welcome to the first off-season GirlieView. As you can imagine we go through some dry spells here at VFTB when there’s not much Cubs news to discuss. And there are other times where we just don’t want to discuss them. So we turn to humor, at times baseball-related, at times not. Here’s a collection of interesting tidbits from the past two weeks.

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • I hope everyone had a great Halloween. I had a dentist appointment yesterday – worlds colliding or worlds aligning?
  • there’s really no one out there worth pursuing anyway, especially for the cost
  • maybe Brad Pitt can coach 3rd base. Imagine Seymour’s excitement bringing new meaning to the definition of fantasy camp when he dines with Brad at the Mesa AZ Subway.
  • I hear he has already started bouncing foot-long and meatball jokes off of the anesthesiologists.
  • The foot-long thing…it’s no joke.
  • at Randy’s camp I swear every time an outfielder had to move more than 2 steps to make a catch he lead off the next inning. For a 68 year old lawyer to move more than 2 steps I would rate that as a 5 in the Craig Wright defensive grading system which is why they have 6 outfielders at fantasy camp.
  • Meters, kg, moles, candelas, Kelvin, seconds, “Craigs”, and amps. That’s all you need.
  • Renteria was never a catcher but did stay at a Holiday Inn Express while interviewing in Chicago.
  • I want to know about his stance on forearm tattoos and if alopecia runs in the family.
  • Moreland is going with the Michael Jordan excuse that he wants to spend more time with his family so expect him to be suiting up for the Birmingham Barons this year and then announce via fax that he’s back.
  • Apparently Cindy Sandberg never got her hands on Rick
  • I don’t think it was her hands that were the problem.
  • Let the barely-tangential, broad-sweeping political comments begin!
  • my money is on Seymour….but it might be Sherm.
  • Not me… I’d have cursed more…and I like to use these little dots a lot..
  • the Captain thought and thought … and then thought some more.
  • Murton is a star both on the Japanese field and Japanese TV, his whacky sitcom with Bryan LaHair is getting rave reviews. There goofy neighbors, Japanese female Lenny and Squigy’s, are always dragging them into trouble.
  • there were 3 or 4 guys on that team better than all of those guys. They went on to be a gas station attendant, a haberdasher, and a teacher.
  • Haberdashery is an underrated line of work.
  • exactly how I feel.
  • Thanks for single handedly making sure I always return to this site…fella.
  • I’m predicting that ‘fella’ becomes the new ‘Gregg.’
  • I’m having a hard time picturing Johnson in a Cubs uniform.
  • Think long about it… the vision will come to you.

Lizard

  • In case you missed it: THE CARDINALS LOST THE WORLD SERIES

Shout Outs

Because I started the counts over for the off-season, it’s everyone’s “first Lizzie” today. Shout outs to everyone: cap’n obvious, Doc Raker, Eddie von White, Jedi Johnson, Joe Aiello, jswanson, L lips es, Sean Powell, and Seymour Butts!

MVL

Congratulations to Sean Powell our Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time around!

Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard) – actually top nine since that’s all we’ve got so far!

1. Sean Powell
2. jswanson
3. cap’n obvious
3. Doc Raker
5. Seymour Butts
6. Jedi Johnson
7. Eddie von White
7. Joe Aiello
7. L lips es

Chit Chat

I haven’t decided yet whether I’m going to do a chit chat topic each time in the offseason, so chat amongst yourselves about whatever you find interesting today!

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