Author Archive

GirlieView (06/25/2015)

Thursday, June 25th, 2015

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • After a lot of debate, I’ve decided to scrap the game recap concept.
  • But something inside me tells me interleague play is just plain not right.
  • I don’t like the regional match ups of interleague play. Everyone in the division should play the same numbers of games against the same interleague opponents. It is unfair to have 1 team play 6 games against a 1st place team and have another team in your division play 6 games against the last place team.
  • These bullpen rules these managers live by can be improved.
  • Maybe the fans should just sing with no guest conductor.
  • Put me down as having a healthy dose of Schlitter angst but the guy got the job done last night.
  • Put me in that column too.
  • I feel your Schilling pain…and Edwin Jackson pain…and Schlitter pain…and Jason Mott pain…and Billy Hamilton pain. How can you walk Billy Hamilton in the top of the tenth in a tie game? Jackson might as well have talked to the ump when he came up and spotted him a triple.
  • I Schlitt my pants when I saw Schlitter was recalled.
  • Why on Earth do the Reds pitch to Castro in that spot. Glad they did, but going after Baxter seems like a no-brainer.
  • Maybe they got Cubs’ top prospects Baxter and Bryant confused. That would actually explain something.
  • This is an easy mix up, most of the same letters.
  • FBI investigating Cards for hacking Astros. Kind of has that Patriots feel to it.
  • Seems a lot worse to me. The FBI never initiated an investigation against the Patriots for their alleged rule-breaking. What the Cardinals are alleged to have done is a federal crime; not some minor blight on the integrity of the game.
  • Our bullpen has looked very strong lately, but having [Ramirez] return would mean Brian Schlitter would be less necessary as the automatic call up when we need bullpen help.
  • Break the law, you don’t get to be offended when people mock your stupidity.
  • someone from the Cardinals FO should be doing federal time.
  • Forget the front office – I vote for Yadier Molina – he’s a Cub killer and should do time for it.
  • His neck tattoo makes me think he’s probably already done some time. Or at the very least wouldn’t be uncomfortable doing time now.
  • I don’t even know what I’m having for breakfast this morning, let alone who might make the Hall of Fame one day.
  • If someone mentions Back to the Future I know they aren’t a real fan.
  • It seems quite likely that the Cubs will make a move of some kind before July 31, as they have maintained a very real shot at contending.
  • Philosophical thought: If one is already of unsound mind, can they go, or be driven crazy?
  • Really hoping Caesar can stay up for a while…still think he’d be sort of a monster in an everyday role.
  • Big fan of the salad dressing dude too.
  • Sucks to be Mike Olt.
  • Snagged another from LA.. you guys thinking this team has moxie? I’m sensing some moxie.
  • I don’t know about moxie but they sure are a bunch of gamers with some grit.
  • I’m pretty sure Grienke leads the majors with the lowest H/N W Diff. That’s Head to Neck Width Differential. Seriously, his head and neck form two parallel lines.

Lizard

  • Crazy how much more palatable the late innings are this year.

Shout Outs

  • No one had their very first 2015 Season Lizzie this time so let’s have a shout out for everyone! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to jswanson, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go jswan!

Top 10 of the 2015 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Eddie von White
2. Seymour Butts
3. Doc Raker
4. Jedi
5. Joe Aiello
6. jswanson
7. Dork
8. Doug S.
9. Buddy
10. Bryan

Chit Chat

  • During Tuesday’s game, a fan leaned over the rolled tarp and caught a foul ball. Remember? (How could you NOT remember, what with the ridiculous amount of coverage it received? More than the game itself, in fact.) What was your gut feeling about his actions?
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GirlieView (06/11/2015)

Thursday, June 11th, 2015

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • I feel good about Hendricks going tonight after the last outing hopefully he does not disappoint.
  • Dork, no!! Don’t feel good. Somebody here felt good about beating the Brewers. You know what happened.
  • The ball never came down.
  • It’s in Wisconsin.
  • I will start looking for it now.
  • If this team is going to have success, they are going to have to shore up this defense and quit making these miscues.
  • The Cubs ran into a buzzsaw last night in Max Scherzer. No shame in losing to that guy. He is chopping right through the National League.
  • I will paraphrase “Dear Fan, yes we blackout games. Here is the link to tell you which ones.”
  • Lizzie’s were a little thin this time around, not to be confused with Thin Lizzie which is a favorite of Len Kasper’s, seems to me I got to get some Lizzie mojo going.
  • We have all had too much Lizzie Lassitude lately. I agree with the raucous ramp up.
  • speaking of which, I REALLY wish Soler would stand closer to the plate)
  • To me, the only mildly persuasive argument for a Jumbotron was always the ability to show replays. And even then, I didn’t believe that one improvement was worth breaking up the picturesque outfield skyline. I was wrong.
  • I have come to like Instant replay. But it is pointless if they still get it wrong. Seems like they still get it wrong way too often.
  • My only question is: how has your wife integrated the Cubs into her life? The last time we chatted you were unsure of her ability to become a devout follower thus the possibility of matrimonial turbulence.
  • You’ll be happy to know there hasn’t been a hint of pushback from her. It probably helps that I took her to Wrigley Field on our honeymoon.
  • Then everything will be fine.
  • The only inanimate objects that would get any notice before the Jumbotron were the umpires, now they have to do a better job.
  • The Royals…damned if you get their starter out early, damned if you don’t.
  • The Royals are a great hitting team and have a real bullpen. The Royals line up will feast on our bull pen, sorry to say. The good thing is that Len won’t notice since he will be giving his review of the new Thin Lizzy box set in innings 7-9.
  • We got a problem with Wood, you don’t like him in the pen and I don’t like him as a starter and no magic blue pill to make this Wood any better.
  • Took a little blue pill once, ended up with splinters.
  • Jeff Loria-run teams have always been a circus, but his current South Beach squad is contending for his biggest disaster yet (aside from Montreal’s loss of the Expos, that is).
  • Math is hard.
  • The Baltimore Orioles franchise (est 1901 as the Milwaukee Brewers), as of today, has 8445 wins. If they had won their 3,000th in 1989, as claimed above, that means they have averaged 209 1/2 wins every year since.
  • So what you’re saying is that math isn’t all that hard.
  • QED
  • If Lester is the pitcher and Schwarber is the catcher, a walk is basically a triple…
  • Who said we were going to sweep the marlins just like we swept the brewers
  • You can’t assume you are going to beat anyone. Ever. You always need to respect your opponents and the game unless your opponent is a 65 year old M.D. who can’t hit off a pitching machine.
  • Now if you could only put that lineup on the field!
  • That would be a terrible lineup. Most of those guys are really old or dead. Hey hey!
  • David “I’m taking up an extra space on” the Ross-ster?
  • I’ll enjoy the ‘KB to left’ respite.
  • Cubs sign Soriano. No word on if he’ll play third.

Lizard

  • They are who we thought they were…Streaky, young, still learning, and a year away.

Shout Outs

  • No one had their very first 2015 Season Lizzie this time so let’s have a shout out for everyone! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Eddie von White, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go EVW!

Top 10 of the 2015 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Eddie von White
2. Seymour Butts
3. Doc Raker
3. Joe Aiello
5. Jedi
6. Dork
7. Doug S.
7. jswanson
9. Buddy
10. Bryan
10. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Katie

Chit Chat

  • It’s hard to believe interleague play has been around for almost 20 years now (18, to be exact.) I still hate it. It’s not so much that I hate that the teams play against each other, I just hate the way it’s scheduled, what with the rotating divisions in rotating years … I think either everyone should play everyone (a scheduling nightmare of course) or no one should play anyone, with the latter being my preference. Does anyone else have an opinion, pro or con, on interleague play?
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GirlieView (05/28/2015)

Thursday, May 28th, 2015

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • having Russell at 2B and Castro at SS is working just fine because neither Alcantara or Baez appear ready to take over at 2B in the even that Castro is traded and Russell moves over.
  • A bases loaded walk – walk off win. Maybe not as sexy as some other things but how can you not love it?
  • You have to love it. It showed good plate discipline and Coughlan was willing to win it without all the glamour.
  • Chicks dig the walk, EVW.
  • I enjoy getting down off my high horse and mingling with the common folk every once in a while. Then it’s back to talking to you fools.
  • This Jeff Locke guy looks just like the ice truck killer from season 1 of Dexter.
  • I was in a band in college called Ice Truck Killer. We rocked.
  • 4-1 lead. 5 pitches later Schlitter has the tying run at the plate. Yanked. This has to be the last we see of the guy. Please.
  • The Cubs have won six games in a row. This is not a drill. I repeat, the Cubs have won six games in a row.
  • I’m definitely a Russell fan. However, until he starts using pine tar, I will not be sitting anywhere near the Cubs’ dugout.
  • We won even though Schlitter happened.
  • A week of wins!!!
  • playoff odds are up nicely after last week.
  • if the season were to end right now, the Cubs would be in the Wild Card game. How ‘bout them apples?
  • Cubs traded Welington Castillo this morning to Seattle.
  • So can we say that Beef Wellington has been removed from the menu?
  • Jswan could write a piece of software that detects tangential thinking and rejects more than a certain number of obtuse comments.

Lizard

  • Personally, I enjoy the fact that the Cubs can be down a run or two late and I don’t have to change the channel. It’s been awhile since that was the case.

Shout Outs

  • No one had their very first 2015 Season Lizzie this time so let’s have a shout out for everyone! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Bryan, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go!

Top 10 of the 2015 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Eddie von White
2. Seymour Butts
3. Joe Aiello
4. Doc Raker
5. Jedi
6. Dork
7. Doug S.
7. jswanson
9. Buddy
9. Katie
10. Bryan

Chit Chat

  • I had to cut my Lizzie review a bit short this time around because of some upcoming travel. (I wrapped up this article on Monday. No worries though, I’ll pick up right where I left off so your humorous anecdotes over the last few days won’t be wasted.) Anyone have any exciting vacation plans this summer? Baseball related or otherwise!
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GirlieView (05/14/2015)

Thursday, May 14th, 2015

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Being a fan of this team prior to the second half of 2014 was akin to being passed through the lower GI of baseball.
  • As a Cub fan, I don’t want this April to end…ever.
  • Three things I like – aggressive base stealing, scoring and hitting with two outs, and celebrating each victory in the clubhouse.
  • I would imagine living in Chicago and being at Wrigleyfield every game is an awesome job no matter who your broadcast partner is.
  • not to worry, having the Brewers come into town this weekend guarantees at least two wins.
  • I guess I am still superstitious a bit – because I wish you would not have written that about the brewers series.
  • Never go a day without bat and ball. That’s what Ponce DeLeon sought.
  • I hate days off. It means I have to watch the Food Channel.
  • On days off I try to post a lot on all of the cubs blogs that I read. I do that on Non days off too so the only difference is that there are not as many things to post about.
  • Addison Russell hits his first big league home run before Kris Bryant. Who would of thought?
  • talking about middle relievers bores me.
  • Lester, Hamels, Arrieta, Zimmerman/Price, your grandmother as a starting five would be epic…
  • Man, this series was frustrating to watch.
  • You could argue that Brewer bumbles made the game look closer than it was.
  • Pud always pitched hard.
  • I was broken hearted when Pud Galvin wasn’t resigned in 1893. Pud wanted a 2 year contract worth $894 plus his own personal horse and carriage to and from the ballpark. Management offered 1 year at $350 and a street car pass. Pud left baseball to pursue a career in the fledgling slinky business. The rest is history.
  • You know the bullpen is bad when James Russell sounds like a good option.
  • Even if Torres tops out as more of a double hitters offensively, though, a plus defensive shortstop who can get on base and then cause havoc once he’s there? Yes please.
  • I would encourage you to subscribe to the theory that no team is ever as good as they look when they are winning and as bad as they look when they are losing.
  • After the last 2 games I am trying to figure out if being almost good is harder on me than being bad.
  • A guy backing up a play is never a bad thing; a guy having fun on the field isn’t either. Maddon is on record as not being bothered by it…seems like another opportunity for fans to crucify their favorite whipping boy over the most inconsequential of plays.
  • Ah the bad news bears, my parents would not let me watch those movies when they came out because there was swearing and sexual innuendo. So I turned to box scores the prelude to the spreadsheet. Maybe that is where it all went wrong.
  • This has been a very frustrating week of Cubs baseball
  • Good test coming against a terrible team. A playoff contender would find a way to take the series in Milwaukee.
  • Joe Maddon was brought in as a steadying influence, since he has a reputation for being able keep everyone on an even keel as they make these adjustments and develop skills that allow them to play consistently at high levels.
  • The bullpen was straight up ugly.
  • The second most exciting part of the evening was when David Ross (yes, the catcher) pitched a 1-2-3 inning.
  • I just remind myself a .500 team loses every other day. A good team loses just about every other day.
  • I’m tired of Braun. He should have been ejected for the second bat flip and the Cubs need to hit him the next opportunity they can when it won’t hurt the team.
  • I really can’t understand why Braun is still a player in the league.
  • Long time Brewers fan here. I would not mind if Braun was plunked 100 times this season and every season until he finally is out of the league. And I’m not talking about some curveball that misses… I’m talking 97 mph heaters. Go right ahead.
  • Kris Bryant Krisened the bleachers.
  • That’s the bullpen we want. Great job guys!!!
  • I thought it was Lester’s best game of the year – in part because of what he was dealing with from the HP umpire.
  • Tom Brady’s lack of ethics reminds me of Ryan Braun.
  • Did someone make sure Ian Stewart can’t play LF? Maybe LF could be the new 3B.
  • When the Cubs went up 5-0, one of them said that now Maddon could breathe a sigh of relief b/c that took the grand slam out of the equation. Really? That’s what the manager was thinking right then?
  • If my wife were in control of player safety everyone would be wearing 200 feet of bubble wrap.

Lizard

  • I find myself excited to tune in and not wanting to miss the first pitch. It’s been awhile since I could say that.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Douglas Bath, painhertz, and RC for their first 2015 Season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to our fearless leader Joe Aiello, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! You go Joe!

Top 10 of the 2015 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Eddie von White
2. Joe Aiello
2. Seymour Butts
4. Doc Raker
5. Jedi
6. Dork
7. jswanson
8. Doug S.
9. Buddy
10. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Katie
10. Sean Powell

Chit Chat

So, we’ve seen some good, we’ve seen some bad. Just about 20% of the season is under our belt. Are the Cubs meeting your expectations? Exceeding them? Or not quite living up to what you had hoped?

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GirlieView (04/30/2015)

Thursday, April 30th, 2015

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • The Cubs had good Wood last night and took advantage of it and finished.
  • Good old fashioned ass kicking. Haven’t been on the good side of those for a few years.
  • Meaningful banter here on the view. Throw in the first place Cubs (you heard it correctly), and April is looking mighty fine.
  • Aperantly some kid named Kris Bryant might be called up from AAA tomorrow.
  • I hear he’s pretty good.
  • I gave a subscription of MLB.tv to my daughter for her birthday coming up soon. Now I will never miss a game. The gift that gives back.
  • You gave it to her and now YOU won’t miss any games. Smart man.
  • I try to play all the angles.
  • Reminds me of the time I gave my 86 year old grandmother an electric guitar. Man I love that axe.
  • Good thing the media, et al are not making a big deal of this.
  • You’re setting the bar too low. He can do more.
  • I believe that Maddon is waiting for the Bleachers to be complete before he pitches Jackson in Wrigley. He wants to make sure the crowd is there to catch the homers he throws.
  • I am not an advocate of the DH, I am an advocate of an ‘ace’ pitching through the 6th inning. Decisions like when to pinch hit for the pitcher is what makes NL baseball more interesting than AL baseball. With the DH it is just a parade of hitters, more strategy without a DH equals a more interesting game of baseball.
  • if it were a true Cubbie Occurrence Arietta would have sprained his ankle and spent a few weeks on the DL, instead he want on to throw a gem of a game….so we got that going for us.
  • Ernie never left us, people. He is everywhere with this team. And when those bleachers are finished, and we set our happy little (or big) behinds on those seats, Ernie’s spirit will be there, too.
  • I’m thoroughly impressed with him and Rizzo thus far. The plate discipline, the defense… It’s enough to make a girl twitterpated.
  • I got all excited when I saw this post had 11 comments… Imagine my dismay when it turns out to be a couple of blowhards spouting off about something irrelevant.
  • Have you not read this site before?
  • It doesn’t mean Olt is done with the Cubs, but I have a hard time seeing him ever finding a meaningful role with this team
  • Schlitter needs to be demoted.
  • Lasts nights 9th inning comeback featured hits from Rizzo, Soler, Bryant and Castro all while Len was jabbering on about the Uriah Heep show he was going to see in downtown Pitt after the game.
  • That was actually the Uriah Heep tribute band – Heep of Schlitt featuring a bearded, long haired front man.
  • This is fun. That’s all.
  • Instead, we saw Edwin Jackson come into the game in relief of Kyle Hendricks and struggle immediately. To stop the bleeding, we went to Schlitter. On what planet is that a good idea?
  • But Schlitter? I’m all for giving a guy another chance, but this guy’s running out of them fast.
  • Everybody should get a second chance, but this is getting ridiculous.
  • His second chance was 4 chances ago. Time to flush our Schlitter.
  • Heep of Schlitter and the Jackson 5 (WHIP) put on a bad show is what Len said.
  • Hadn’t expected to see Kris Bryant in CF at the MLB level.
  • Thed didn’t call you and ask your opinion? Strange.
  • Oh but they did, Doc. And I told them that maybe at Randy’s camp it doesn’t matter if you put the cranky eye doctor over there at 3B; but at the MLB level, Ian Stewart (and his friends who can’t hit good and wanna learn to do other stuff good too) isn’t a five-year solution.
  • You can put the cranky eye doctor anywhere at Randy’s camp since 89% of the camp is over 79 years old, especially since the cranky eye doctor rakes.
  • Kris Bryant is Superman he will be pitching before the year is out.
  • let’s remind ourselves that we got Jake Arrieta, who looks like a true ace, AND Pedro Strop for Steve Clevenger and Scott Feldman–any GM who completes a trade with Theo should be fired immediately!
  • If [Baez] can make adjustments that improve his pitch recognition and reduce his strikeout rate just a little bit, his power, plus his defense in the middle infield, could really make him a valuable player–especially since he won’t be counted on to carry the team.
  • I’m often disappointed when the lottery numbers come out and I find I didn’t win, but then I realize that I never bought a ticket! Playoff appearances are like lottery tickets, and the Cubs’ issue is that they’ve never bought enough of them. This team, with it’s young, long-term-cost-controlled core, is built to compete for the playoffs consistently year to year…and if you buy enough of those tickets, one of them will eventually hit.
  • This baseball team is just plain fun to watch. It would be a little more fun to watch on Central time, but beggars can’t be choosy.
  • I don’t know about you, but I know that last years Cubs would have rolled over and died in the bottom of the 10th when the bases were loaded with Reds. This time the tides have turned. It’s a totally different team.
  • Happy to help the strategically challenged navigate the world around them. Ask me a question any time.
  • Three catchers – I’m not a fan.
  • Yeah that extra catcher and the extra bullpen guy leaves the bench really short. It leaves you hitting Lester even though you intend to take him out of the game.
  • Brian Schlitter needs to exit the scene at this point in favor of a position player.
  • That little strategy of when and how to pinch hit is something that I find interesting in the NL game. All that strategy goes away with the DH making for a boring less intellectual game. The DH makes baseball less interesting
  • and the Mets seem like an actual threat.
  • Why Eddie? Why?
  • I had a weak moment.
  • How refreshing to have a boring Cubs win

Lizard

  • I’m not expecting all that much from Bryant. Just the following:
    1. He wins the MVP in both leagues every year until he’s 40
    2. He also wins MVP awards in the NFL and NBA, just because he’s Kris Bryant
    3. He cures cancer and the common cold
    4. He defeats ISIS
    5. During his spare time he solves crimes with a lovable but slow-witted sidekick
    6. He also finds some time to invent that transporter from Star Trek

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Alex Botts, Katie, Noah, and Sean Powell for their first 2015 Season Lizzies!!!! Many thanks to all of you for everything you bring to VFTB!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker and Seymour Butts, our co-Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time! Way to go Raker and Butts!

Top 10 of the 2015 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Eddie von White
2. Seymour Butts
3. Doc Raker
4. Joe Aiello
5. Jedi
6. jswanson
7. Buddy
7. Dork
7. Doug S.
10. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Katie

Chit Chat

  • I hate off days now. I can’t remember the last time I actually thought “awwww, darn it!” when the Cubs had an off day. This year I sincerely miss having a game to watch! When the Cubs are off, do you watch another team, or just enjoy other endeavors that day?
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GirlieView (04/16/2015)

Thursday, April 16th, 2015

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2015 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • This will be a little tougher than most opening days. I’ll be covertly catching as much as possible while pretending to be interested in Easter Sunday dinner guests. Suggestions welcome.
  • Make no apologies. Have the game on in the background while you eat and talk. You’ve waited all year for this.
  • Hide the food in large plastic eggs. Nobody gets to eat until all are found. Make sure some will never be found by misrepresenting the number of eggs to be found. Wait in the den with the door closed and TV on until the game is over.
  • Congrats to Peter Seymour Buttocks for taking the MVL title this fortnight.
  • I would like to thank the academy. I had seriously thought about dropping the habit of using the occasional 2nd, 3rd… pseudonym in order to garner more Lizzie points. But the way it is, is just more amusing. At least to myself.
  • I was pleased to see Andy Rooney edged out Chris Neitzel and Troy’s Mom.
  • Seems like Troy’s mom needs to try a little harder.
  • Who gives a damn about Troy’s mom.
  • Troy?
  • EVW has been on fire…he earned this. Hats off buddy.
  • Thanks jswan. I couldn’t have done it without you and the rest of the team lobbing those high fastballs in just asking to get knocked out of the park. Its always a team effort and I’m just looking ahead to our next game on Sunday. If we play our best we can beat those guys…then it will be back to the keyboard pounding out one-liners hoping to get Lizzie’s attention.
  • You are absolutely right. If a comedian tells a joke in a forest, nobody is there to laugh. Soon he gives up. Lizzieworthiness is a trait that takes a village.
  • The pursuit of Lizzieworthiness makes life worthwhile – especially for a Cub fan.
  • But this season is different, and you already know why. This Cubs team, unlike the last few squads, has more than just a faint whiff of hope and optimism about them.
  • Welcome back Jeremiah. Just a few things you missed while you where living the married life. Your brother is still abrasive, the Capn makes occasional appearances but still keeps his high comment to Lizzie ratio, Sherm is still funny, EVW busted onto the Lizzie scene as a serious ROY candidate, Jswan continues to poke everyone, CAPS had a rough patch but is back in typical Homer form, Doug S and Mark from Toronto seem to be the same person, Noah is still bogged down in numbers, Seymour is saving the planet with his electric car, Lizzie is still very intuitive, these new characters like Jared and Sean seem like good Cub fans, Dork is well….still a dork, Jerry in Wisconsin – why would a Cub fan live in Wisconsin, Joe our big toe can get you a good deal on prom dresses and Katie is still cute as a button now living down in Boca Vista.
  • …and Raker is still the self-appointed Blog Factotum.
  • It is important to embrace who you are
  • There are people everywhere that have gone hog wild picking the Cubs to win the world series, cure cancer, and establish world peace in 2015. I’m not going that far. I do think this team will be a fun year to watch, but I think the real fun begins in 2016.
  • I don’t understand the three catcher controversy, last year the Cubs had 13 pitchers at times. We just need to think of Beef as our mop up reliever for when the game gets out of control.
  • And if there are no bleachers in the bleachers is it still possible to have a view from the bleachers?
  • We could call it “View From The Ernie Banks Tarps” ?
  • VFTEBT
  • So maybe until the bleachers are reopened this should be renamed something more appropriate like “Partially blocked view from the rooftop across the street that’s not owned by the Ricketts. “
  • PBVFTRATSTNOBTR – that has a nice ring to it.
  • I like View Inside Construction Tarps On Reconstruction Year .
  • Sorry I’m so late. I was standing in line at the Wrigley restrooms.
  • Worst thing about last night: Toss up between seeing a Schilling given a microphone (give me Len Kasper any day over this POS), and the shrieking that occurred masquerading as god bless America before the game. This was supposedly a famous singer, but sounded like somebody who drew a short straw at closing time. Could not have sung worse. Spoiled the entire game.
  • Maybe if I request a win again, the Cubs will deliver? I just want A win…please.
  • It’s quite annoying to come off the high of opening day each year only to be greeted with an off day kick to the seeds the very next day.
  • To not plan for the bathroom situation is an epic fail. The Cubs have said they are bringing in temporary bathrooms, but when you failed on opening night and on national tv, that is hard to forgive.
  • To make matters worse, people had to deal with other wiener problems as they ran out of hot dog buns. For goodness sakes, guys, how does this crap happen and how does it always happen to us?!?!?! Get your mess together. Cubs baseball ops were left, like Cubs fans, standing with only their wieners in their hands.
  • You had me at weiner.
  • I wanted to poke my eye out reading that baseball rule book, so I had to stop.
  • I know a good eye doctor who can help you.
  • I have a suggestion for tonight that will solve both wiener issues: All fans should bring a package of hot dog buns to the ball park. They will receive a coupon for a free hot dog (sans bun). The unused buns can be utilized to wrap your wiener in after too many beers, Each bun should be able to absorb a half pint of pee. Problem solved.
  • At a half pint of pee, eight buns would hold 4 pints. That’s half a gallon. I don’t believe that would be enough buns…
  • Okay…two things. First, there are only seven buns remaining, because of the voucher. Second, there are tons of other options once the buns are fully soaked. Nacho trays, cotton candy, etc. You could piss in the hotdog bag itself if you are in a pinch. Footlong buns maybe…I don’t know. Think outside the box man.
  • Most hot dog bags come with either a twist tie or that little plastic thing with teeth. Get creative.
  • It appears we are a bit male-centric in this conversation. Perhaps the fairer sex could tote some hamburger buns.
  • Thanks to this site, I’ve taken a real interest in minor league ball
  • So… who else had hot dogs for dinner last night?
  • I had mine without a bun, thank you.
  • The mascot zoo lost a sunglassed bear and a hawk, gained a pelican and a sasquatch. Push.
  • I now watch the game anticipating the bull pen coming in to seal the deal. I haven’t felt like that in years.
  • Last time it was wieners, this time it’s nuggets.
  • I know there is a dick joke in there somewhere, I’m just having trouble grasping it.
  • For whatever reason, sometimes it’s hard in the mornings.
  • Next person who writes about Edwards’ frame owes us all dinner. And not at Subway.
  • OT (as it applies to the Cardinals) means “we honor the drunk who killed his girlfriend with his recklessness”
  • I’m as big a fan of Castro as anyone…but if the Padres FO is on the caller ID, we need to listen. I’m not at all impressed with their talent evaluation or business acumen. Accumulating Upton’s is not the sign of a healthy foundation for the future.
  • haven’t they already traded everyone that has any value?
  • Maybe we can give them one of our catchers for some extra concourse restrooms?
  • And hot dog buns.
  • Don’t look now but our playoff hopes are declining and the cost of prom dresses are skyrocketing.
  • Prediction: If the Cubs can score 9 runs a game they will win the division.
  • So nice to see them win a comeback game like this. I haven’t felt like they’ve been capable of such a thing in probably 7 years.
  • Swagger-O-Meter alert! Don’t forget about moxie, grit, and my personal favorite, “the will to win.”
  • TWTW
  • This is getting to be kind of fun.
  • With that out of the way and the yips cleared up, for some reason he decided to try it again, this time seeing the ball fly into right field. Had Jorge Soler not been in RF, it would have been a stolen base and an error leading to Cozart on third. Instead, Soler flexed his arm and gunned down Cozart at third. Side Note: Soler is really fun to watch.
  • I believe this team can make the playoffs.
  • It’s not all sunshine and lollipops…we’re still behind the Cardinals and Pirates in Bill James’ Pythagorean division standings.
  • Can a fellow get a rainbow?
  • I like the move throw the ball near Solar and let him throw the runner out.
  • I do respect how Lester owned it and says he must get better, he WILL get better. Appreciative of his mates bailing him out.
  • The discussion should not be about the NL adopting it, but about the AL abandoning it.

Lizard

  • Beer, food, and baseball. Doesn’t get much better!

Shout Outs

  • Since we’ve turned over a new scorecard with the start of the season, it’s the first 2015 Season Lizzie for everyone who got one. Big shout outs to Bryan, Buddy, Chet, Doc Raker, Dork, Doug S., Eddie von White, Gaz, Jared Wyllys, Jedi, Jeremiah, Jerry in Wisconsin, Joe Aiello, jswanson, Seymour Butts, and Tom! Many thanks!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Eddie von White, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go EVW!

Top 10 of the 2015 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Eddie von White
2. Seymour Butts
3. Doc Raker
3. Jedi
3. Joe Aiello
3. jswanson
7. Dork
8. Bryan
8. Doug S.
8. Jerry in Wisconsin

Chit Chat

  • What (or who) has been your favorite part of the new young season so far?

 

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GirlieView (04/02/2015)

Thursday, April 2nd, 2015

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2014-2015 Offseason = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Having talent but having the decision of where to place that talent on the field is a great problem to have.
  • Cub baseball will already have a push in the opening weeks. His arrival late April will be another.
  • The conniption fit is created by BorASS and the media, knowledgeable Cub fans don’t mind keeping Bryant down for 9 games to start the 2015 season.
  • The spreadsheet says stick with the plan keep him in Iowa for 15 days
  • This competition should be handicapped, it is much harder for a dork to be funny than say someone with the last name of Butts.
  • That’s just a pen name. His Christian name is Peter Seymour Buttocks.
  • I am going on vacation for a week. I will have to have a flurry of witty comebacks when I come back. I have no intention of conceding to Jswanson or Raker or Butts.
  • It is not difficult for a dork to be funny. You are that way naturally, that’s why you’re a dork.
  • Looks like Seymour, Jedi and I will be having a Bushmills over at Don and Charlies tonight to celebrate our co MVL’s. Jedi, let’s meet at 4PM, Seymour’s electric car starts running out of juice around 5:30.
  • I have a strange feeling that Emily Litella could break the tie.
  • One game in the NCAA books, and this guy has a perfect bracket!
  • …and now I don’t.
  • You should write a book.
  • how does one have a tired arm half way through spring training?
  • Too much porn… like there is such a thing.
  • adding is hard
  • Adding an out to the inning every time someone is walked on 4 pitches with runners on base. Could you imagine, Carlos Marmol would of had 8 out innings. Base coaches would have to really be on their mental toes, “Freeze on a line drive with 1 or no outs, run on contact with 2 outs unless we get 4 outs then freeze on a line drive with 2 outs. Run on anything with 3 outs, half way on a flyball with 3 outs in a 5 out inning. “OK that is to confusing, the formula is (Outs Per Inning – 1) run on anything, (Outs per Inning – 2) or less we freeze on a line drive, half way on a flyball and run on a force play.” Where Starlin Castro standing on 1st base replies, “Que?”
  • What about this simple change – wouldn’t come into play often, but “if you walk a batter intentionally, you must face the next batter” so that the manager can’t use the intentional walk to both take the bat out of a hitter’s hands, AND allow the guy in the bullpen more time to get ready for the next guy. Just a thought.
  • How about cyclist outfits. There would then be no doubt about who is playing hard and who is not.
  • I searched and searched but I can’t find your height listed anywhere, even your FBI most wanted picture doesn’t have it.
  • Im a little leary of any Cubs pitcher with the name Ed in his name. Edwin has not helped our namesake.
  • How about guys that post at VFTB?
  • Those guys are solid. They won’t let you down.
  • I’m just curious if Pierce’s parents are funny or sort of dumb.
  • I do not see Sammy coming back. He has always been a me first guy, thus he will never admit fault.
  • it is good to see fans thinking this way, and honestly, something in me is caring again about the Cubs fortunes, but let’s not get crazy, we ain’t goin’ to the World Series!
  • The Cub fan (AKA, damaged pessimist) in me realizes, as you should, we may not go to the post-season this year or next, but take some solace in the fact that there is a plan in place, it is working, and Cub baseball matters again, and that’s a good thing.
  • The Cubs have not won a World Series because they have not been good enough to win a World Series.
  • The goal is to put together a long string of seasons where you look at a team and say “that team has the talent to win the World Series.” The way you get to and win series is by getting to the postseason repeatedly, and then hoping that one year the postseason crapshoot falls in your favor.
  • I think the Ricketts have been a blessing in disguise for this team. I don’t think many people thought that on day one, and the jury is still out for some, but I am happy.
  • Aside from hiring the right people, they’ve stayed out of the baseball decisions.
  • Carlos Pena…Carlos Villanuevstache…Carlos Theriot
  • Well, that could not possibly work out badly.
  • Baez’s problem is a complete lack of approach and pitch recognition
  • I want Szczur, I think the extra z gives him the edge.
  • Having the highest consonant to vowel ratio in MLB has got to count for something.

Lizard

  • The reason that ballpark was irresistible is because even though your life is changing at breakneck speeds, baseball remains constant.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Katie, and Trevor DuBois for their first 2014-2015 off-season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Seymour Butts, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go Doc!

Top 10 of the 2014-2015 Offseason (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard). These are the final standings for the off-season. Congratulations Eddie!! Next time we’ll start from scratch again. Here are the full standings.

1. Eddie Von White
2. Doc Raker
2. jswanson
4. Seymour Butts
5. Doug S
6. Jedi
6. Noah Eisner
8. Dork
9. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Joe Aiello
11. cap’n realist
12. SBardo
13. Chet West
14. Mark From Toronto
14. Sean Powell
14. Sherm
17. Buddy
18. Jared Wyllys
18. Katie
20. Andy Rooney
20. Bryan
20. Kac
20. SouthKakalakiCubsFan
24. Andy
24. Chris Neitzel
24. Emily Litella
24. Kizzfastfists
24. Ray Brettman
24. Trevor DuBois
24. Troy’s Mom

I wanted to thank everyone for playing along with the Lizzie game, then I remembered you don’t “choose” to play along. You’re in it whether you want to be or not! But thanks just the same!

Chit Chat

  • What are your Opening Game plans, any? I’m sure we’ll all be watching, but does anyone have any special plans or traditions?
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GirlieView (03/19/2015)

Thursday, March 19th, 2015

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2014-2015 Offseason = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • (unless you like your tea with a dash of arrogance)
  • AMT is directly proportional to unluckily high BABIP, which is know to be due to the vagaries of line drives batted into the field of play. A fine stat.
  • Cubs Baseball (on radio) Today! Of course had I actually read the chit-chat section above, I would have known that was already common knowledge.
  • In a troubling development, the Chicago Cubs announced today that they are adding performance enhancing drugs to the minor leaguers. Apparently somebody named Phil has been assigned to bring Coke to those most susceptible to the temptations of drugs that will help them gain an edge.
  • Shwarb just hit a salami in his first AB. They started the game without an ump behind the plate. Good stuff.
  • Olt – 2 run HR, go Mike.
  • I will be in Mesa next weekend, woo hoo!
  • Cubs bullpen was in mid-season form today.
  • Am I the only person who will be at the VFTB spring training dinner next weekend?
  • That I like. I can continue seeing baby Cubs right here. The Eugene Emeralds with the threatening looking sasquatch logo. Clearly superior to the Hillsboro Hops, some sort of green plant thingy with a ball cap and eyes.
  • I’m going out on a limb and saying the green plant thing is a hop.
  • Looks more like something else that’s legal here in WA and a few other places.
  • …And Jackson is in mid-season form.
  • Perhaps the Cubs could drop him off at the Goodwill then take the tax deduction. Any accountants ok with that?
  • The Cubs have held him as an investment for more than one year which means they should receive a donation equal to their basis. Doubt it would stand in an IRS audit though.
  • I still say the rebrand him the “BP coach” and keep him on as a the batting practice pitcher for a team-wide confidence boost.
  • If you are scheduled to pay a dude $22M over the next 2 seasons he ought to be able to do something for the club. He could always clean the players cars, help out with doing the team laundry, throw some BP, do some bullpen catching and help out the grounds crew.
  • The Cubs should use Jackson as a goodwill ambassador. Have him hand out baseballs in the bleachers. The Cubs would not be losing any money because if he was pitching those same balls would have landed there anyways, and the Cubs would benefit by not giving up the runs. It might also build up Jackson’s self esteem.
  • Plunk Cardinals – that’d be worth $22M.
  • Carrie Muskat (aka Lizzie)
  • Smart too. He knew this was 3 outs before tossing it to the fans.
  • I love spring training for if no other reason we are still in contention. Everybody is an MVP and Cy Young candidate and the losses don’t matter.
  • I don’t care so much about a winning record; but winning A game, that’d be nice. 0-for-Spring is a crappy omen.
  • Got one!
  • I think the pitcher should hit lead off, just to get the out out of the way so everyone else can hit without a rally killer coming up to bat.

Lizard

  • BASEBALL IS BACK!!!!!

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Chris Neitzel and Emily Litella for their first 2014/2015 off-season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker, Jedi, and Seymour Butts who share our Most Valuable Lizzie-er award this time! Way to go Doc, Jedi, and Butts!

Top 10 of the 2014-2015 Offseason (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Eddie Von White
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Seymour Butts
5. Doug S.
6. Jedi
7. Noah Eisner
8. Dork
8. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Joe Aiello

Chit Chat

  • The next GirlieView (Thursday, April 2, 2015) will be the last “off season” edition, halleluiah! Not that I haven’t enjoyed it, but we’re all ready for real baseball! I’ll wrap up the off-season standings at that time and start fresh in-season thereafter. I will tell you, the standings are the tightest they’ve ever been in the many years I’ve been doing this. The first three slots are separated by only one point apiece, with others in-range as well. It’s like a playoff race! Good luck and have fun with it!
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GirlieView (03/05/2015)

Thursday, March 5th, 2015

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2014-2015 Offseason = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Maybe I just have a thing for good Wood
  • And in summation, Wood pitches hard.
  • I think we all have an appreciation for good Wood.
  • I think Joe uses the words, wood, hand, wrap, and off way to frequently in this article.
  • that would change my opinion and I’d think the Cubs should hold on to Wood for this season.
  • Is that last sentence a d*ck joke?
  • Joe- try not to hand this bunch easy genitalia jokes. It makes it difficult to digest my meatball sub with marinara and ranch dressing.
  • I like Travis Wood because he hits better than Darwin Barney.
  • Statistical analysis and “traditional baseball knowledge” can (and need to!) interact to enhance each other.
  • Kac, do you use a spreadsheet for stuff like this?
  • Only when needed. I’ll leave that to Dork.
  • Why I want the Cubs to keep Travis Wood: because Edwin Jackson is still on the roster.
  • To show my appreciation, I am going to finally buy that prom dress from the sponsor site.
  • I expect the Cubs to be significantly improved in 2015, with a prediction of an 82 win season.
  • But I have seen a lot of Cubs fans (significantly less so at this site than others) with playoff dreams in their comments
  • Success should be gauged on development of the kids, not a post season berth (or lack thereof).
  • I liken the current rooftop situation to eating at hooters, you do it once to say you did it, after that you realize there are better options.
  • Wait… there are better options than Hooters?
  • The rooftops are interesting to look at and give Wrigley special character, but I wouldn’t want to watch a game from there.
  • the fact that we long for the days in which we could “converse with Dwight Smith and Chico Walker” is perhaps the best indication of how far baseball has fallen.
  • There wasn’t even a Subway in Mesa back then…Seymour had to pack homemade sandwiches to the players in an Igloo cooler.
  • I definitely agree when it comes to the rooftops. I think they lost their true character probably a couple decades ago. No sense in preserving that aspect of Wrigley anymore.
  • Prediction: Edwin Jackson gets invited to Randy’s camp next year as a former Cub. No prediction on what Jackson orders at Subway with Seymour.
  • EJ is definitely going with the meatball.
  • I predict a few EJ meatballs end up on Waveland this year.
  • We could create a MBOW% stat, which would basically be the percentage of meatballs hit onto Waveland. I just don’t think it will stick with the advanced stat crowd.
  • Probably what befell Hoffapauir in the late 00s.
  • Did you know Micah Hoffapauir, Bryan LaHair and Jason Dubois have never been seen together in the same room.
  • But Matt Murton has…
  • And I’ve seen it.
  • Ouch. You like the Cubs and the LIONS? And I thought I enjoyed pain.
  • Chet also enjoys in-grown toenails, root canals, being waterboarded, and getting hit in the balls.
  • it seems strange that a statistic that is so clearly the product of factors beyond the pitcher’s control is still not only attached to that pitcher individually, but also still generally used to gauge the pitcher’s effectiveness.
  • You are preaching to the believers. Jswan has been a big believer in FIP ever since he figured out the vagaries of BABIP.
  • to give $20 million dollar pitchers the idea that all they have to do is pitch 6 innings and give up a run every other inning to be quality is askew with my expectations of said $20M pitcher.
  • I can agree on the lack of utility of W-L. However, I’m a big fan of the Whip.
  • Funny. Just this morning I was wondering if the Smokies were going to hand out Pat Summitt bobbleheads this season.
  • I am selling mine on eBay but you can have it for free, all you pay is $39.95 for shipping and handling.
  • As a fielding bible literalist, I find this biblical talk of hitting and pitching horribly offensive.
  • Which book is best for middle infielders? The book of John or the book of Matthew?
  • Thy Book of Mullet. c. 2008
  • If you’ve been to Safeco to see Felix pitch, it’s fun. There’s a section way down the third base line called The King’s Court. You get a game ticket, T-shirt and K card for around 30 bucks. Every time there’s 2 strikes on the opposing teams batter these guys are waving their K cards like crazy, then celebrate if he gets the K.
  • there’s a good opportunity for the Cubs when Edwin Jackson pitches. The last row of the bleachers could be sold for $400, but the ticket comes complete with a set of protective catcher’s gear, and a crappy nitrite filled hero sangwich from a national chain. Every time the opponents power hitters come to the plate, the whole row can don their gear, fearfully shake in unison, and then celebrate with a bite of sandwich and a swig of G. Heilemans Old Style if they don’t get domed by the home run. The proceeds can go to Kids Care. Fencl Tufo Chevrolet and Torco can sponsor…they can have their logos on the catcher’s gear. The Ogden’s will line up to participate.
  • Obviously. You should think about changing your name.
  • Not to say fantasy leagues aren’t fun, Lord knows Seymour has spent many a dollar bill in a league he can only fantasize about.
  • Dez Bryant has a better chance of playing CF for the Cubs than Kris Bryant does.
  • Who gives a damn about Troy Glaus
  • watch your mouth
  • Where did CJ Edwards fall? … He fell between the bars of a storm grate when he tried to walk over it.

Lizard

  • Baseball on my phone live right now. Man it’s been way too long.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Jared Wyllys, Kac, and Troy’s Mom for their first 2014-2015 off-season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go Doc!

Top 10 of the 2014-2015 Offseason (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Eddie Von White
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
4. Seymour Butts
5. Doug S.
6. Noah Eisner
7. Dork
7. Jedi
9. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. cap’n realist

Chit Chat

  • Today, yes T-O-D-A-Y at 2:05 p.m. Central Standard Time, the Cubs will be playing their first Spring Training game. It’s a split squad, half visiting San Francisco’s facility and the other half hosting Oakland. Audio broadcast of the latter will be available via MLB.com. The first free audio broadcast of a spring training game will be Saturday, Mar 7 visiting the Colorado team, at 2:10pm local time on Chicago’s WBBM AM 780. The first WGN-televised game will be Sunday, March 15 at 3:05pm CDT, vs. Cincinnati. Enjoy!

 

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