Author Archive

GirlieView (07/21/2016)

Thursday, July 21st, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2016 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • I like the chit chat…reminds me of the old Saturday Night Live Coffee Talk segment…”I’ll give you a topic…Barry Foote was neither a berry, nor a foot…discuss.”
  • Grape Nuts are neither grapes nor nuts.
  • Testicles. Family blog.
  • Malt balls are balls made of malt.
  • I find MLB’s All-Star game to be a joke.
  • Love to chit chat, just ask my wife. “Hi honey, I am home. Did you see the Cubs choke another one away today? First place my fanny. Can I pour you some Redbreast Irish over some rocks? We need Schwarbs honey, I am telling you” Wife- “I’ll take a double”
  • Does she take a double because of the Cubs or because you’re home?
  • Jon Lester is scheduled to make his last start before heading to San Diego this Saturday. Since his blankey is on the 7 day concussion DL, Lester will throw to Willson Contreras and NOT Miguel Montero. I can’t tell you enough how excited this makes me. The training wheels are off for Contreras and the Cubs are beginning to trust him over Montero.
  • I’m pissed that we hit into 17 double plays. Okay, three, but whatever.
  • Peeved – (family site).
  • I’m a Willy fan. (and no, Seymour, that’s not a dick joke)
  • Willy played hard?
  • Batting down in the order is helping Heyward. Wish we’d have thought of that.
  • It’s not fun to write about, and it’s certainly not fun to talk about, which is why Sherm sent me a text last night saying he couldn’t possibly write any thoughts for the post without cursing.
  • 3 days in a row of letting that (insert family acceptable borderline profanity here) Sean Rodriguez hit HRs against us.
  • our TV broadcasts are not very informative.I think the world of Pat Hughes on the radio-side,
  • So for 2 innings they couldn’t understand why bAez just didn’t take the double play in front of him and then come to the conclusion that he is just smarter than everyone else. I wonder if they got call from Thed telling them that bAez is being marketed as a smart player so get with it.
  • I hate Bryan Adams.
  • I don’t know who Bryan Adams is.
  • I love Bryan Adams
  • we’ve seen two distinctly different teams this year. The great one and the really shitty one. I’d settle for a good one from this point forward.
  • Hendricks (and I can’t believe I’m typing this) is the best pitcher of late because he’s executing his plan. If we hit the playoffs tomorrow? I think I’d start HIM.
  • I’ve never been a Baez fan. I’ve always been a Soler fan, but now I am neither. Package them up and make a deal.
  • Soler, unfortunately, is prone to injuries (I’ve never seen anyone out as long with a hamstring pull. Have you?) Baez is prone to stupid.
  • When Eric Fryer was at bat Len said, “So if Fryer goes deep is it a Deep Fryer?” Seriously. Len said that. Probably waited all day
  • Suffice it to say for now, that I am optimistic about this organization, this team and this particular squad. I plan to enjoy the rest of the season, starting with the All Star game tonight. But, as always, I will cultivate a bit of detachment – just enough to protect my psyche, in case the gods do not smile again this year.
  • My sense is that the Cubs will not trade Kyle Schwarber until they give him the chance to show how good he can become in left field. His hitting is too high quality to do otherwise.
  • Let’s just talk about trading bAez, Soler, Montero or Ceasar or Len.
  • After the second straight day of attacks on one of my favorite musicians, I feel it’s important to Make A Stand. These sort of attacks tend to Cut Like a Knife, and though many of you may not be fans, it’s important that he can Depend on Me.
  • Cock Robin was known for their hit song “When Your Heart is Weak” which, as I understand it, continuously plays on a loop in Seymour’s waiting room.
  • Fast forward to September 10th, 2001, I met a tall exceptionally attractive woman on a first date in Manhattan Beach, California. We had a great time for the first half hour or so, but then the conversation lagged. She asked what type of music I was into. I couldn’t admit to Chumbawumba at that point, so I muttered “Bryan Adams.” Turns out SHE LOVED THE GUY! The next day was extremely tragic for all of us, but we decided to keep seeing each other. Three months later, we flew to Vegas to see him live at the Paris Casino on New Year’s Eve. I kicked down for 13th row tickets, the best I could afford. The first 12 rows of the venue were completely empty, the usual Vegas garbage of hanging on to the best seats as a thank you for the worst gamblers. After a single song, he stopped the show and asked the ushers to orderly move everyone 12 rows closer. Initially, they refused, and the head of the casino had to come on stage and meet with him before they’d do it…but he steadfastly said that his fans deserved to be close. We ended up in the front row. The following 4th of July I got engaged to that woman, and 15 years later, Bryan Adams’ music is something we still agree on. Unlike 3rd Eye Blind and Chumbawumba, my marriage and Bryan Adams have stood the test of time. Sure it’s cheesy, and the lyrics are bad, but admit it, you know the words. “I got my first real six string…”
  • Very romantic, Cap’n. And when it comes to the romantic, the regulars on this site could be All Stars. That’s what it takes Cubs fans. You have to be a crazy romantic.
  • Crazy romantic? You’re half right.
  • Move on to the awards post. Baseball geeks talking music can’t end well.
  • The Len Kasper Award goes to VFTB for 3 days of music related headlines during the all star break.
  • As for the bullpen, the near future looks rather grim…pun intended.
  • Stats are great indicators. Another is rise in blood pressure, mine. Grimm and Cahill lead the group in that category.
  • Wasn’t the Cole Hamel no hitter last year the first Sunday game after the All Star break? DejaVu?
  • If Darvish would have done it, would it have been DejaYu? Thanks, I’ll be here all week.
  • Played some baseball IRL yesterday and missed the game. Theriot game… 1-2 with a walk and two errors.
  • I also can’t help saying that it was a gorgeous July night in Chicago. Poetic with a huge moon rising over the right field bleachers. The kind of night that night baseball was made for. I also liked the 6:05 start. Home a little after 9. Nice.
  • I’d prefer to see the pitcher hit, or not hit, as the case may be – and keep that strategy in the game. Not a DH fan.
  • Tough loss. I didn’t like Baez’ bunt. We needed an rbi there. Not another runner.
  • It sure looked like a different pitching rotation this time through, capped off by Jake’s outing last night.
  • When you load the bases against Jeurys Familia, one of the best closers in the game, when he’s not even close to throwing strikes, and then fail to score, you deserve to lose the game.
  • Salad Man steps up in the 9th with the bases loaded with Familia struggling to throw strikes and immediately swings at 2 pitches out of the zone. He wins the Horrible At Bat of the Day award which is pretty hard to do with Miguel Montero in the line up.
  • These are the situations that matter in October, anyone can hit when it is 8-0.

Lizard

  • Do simple better.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout out to Nate Head for his first 2016 Regular Season Lizzie!!!! Way to go!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Brad and Doc Raker gave him a real challenge this time! Thanks for the great commentary gentlemen!

Top 10 of the 2016 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. Doc Raker
3. Eddie von White
4. Seymour Butts
5. jswanson
6. Doug S
7. Joe Aiello
8. Brad Lyerla
9. cap’n realist
10. Dork

Chit Chat

  • Not that we wouldn’t be talking about this anyway, but on this off-day maybe we can chat about how we’re feeling now that the All Star game is over and the Cubs are back to work. I think we were all a bit frustrated going into the break. How about now, any better?
Like what you see here? Never miss new content. Follow Us:

GirlieView (07/07/2016)

Thursday, July 7th, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2016 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Happy Birthday to Raker
  • Not me, Alec Berg today.
  • I hope you got him some hockey tickets.
  • Wednesday’s game reminded me of the rebuilding years and how quickly a game can unravel for a young team that can make some errors. It was ugly.
  • Sherm is the Jake Arrieta of Lizzies. Great job. Just don’t tweet about Chris Sale.
  • The notable exception is the Girlie View posting where we do read the top part. I suspect most just look for their own work, but still.
  • This column is read top and bottom.
  • Whoever came up with the Lizzie idea is a genius.
  • I’ve found my confidence in Jon Lester to be increasing a little more with every start.
  • I swear…..the 1st time I read that title I saw “Losing Streaks… Make It Strop”
  • I don’t agree with Baez at 3b, you conveniently left out the video of the ground ball going through his legs in the 8th inning. Yes, Baez is athletic and makes great plays but he makes errors on routine plays.
  • Heyward simply can’t do it in the 2 hole.
  • I read the top part. Just sayin’
  • Me too… but only because I felt shamed into it.
  • I don’t understand playing Coghlan AT ALL.
  • Safe to say we had the shit kicked out of us in Marlin country.
  • The Cubs have been sloppy.
  • AA – Trey McNutt: 5 IP, 2 H, 1 ER, 3 BB, 4 K, 3 Testes
  • Theriot Game (2 for 5 with a double and one error)
  • Who was Greenberg called up with?
  • Lizzie’s boyfriend Geo?
  • Big Toe Joe’s shower mate.
  • everything has been slightly off the last two weeks.
  • Had it with Kasper tonight. Don’t give a damn what rock star the Reds pitcher looks like.
  • Someone has to make the obligatory “That was some good Wood last night” comment.
  • Cowboy was commenting on the Reds radio broadcast in the mid innings on Javy Baez swings. “If this guy ever learns to shorten up and make contact he could be a great short stop for somebody but with these big swings no matter how many strikes he has, not so much.”
  • put the kids, Edwards, Peralta and Patton in as necessary.
  • That’s the starting outfield.
  • if Peralta’s a kid I’m headed to summer camp today.
  • Shit, he’s 40, you’re quite correct.
  • Peralta ‘has been everywhere… man’. Len sung the song for him.
  • I do admire Maddon’s willingness to try things. The vibe I get is that his players like it too. And that means something.
  • “Sale and Quintana, that’s a good one” “don’t forget Sonny and Cher, JB” “I’ll see you Sonny and Cher and raise you Simon and Garfunkel” “Of course there’s Hall and Oates…”
  • Tennessee Tuxedo and his pal, Chumley
  • We rank 19th in batting average with runners on, 17th with runners in scoring position, and 23rd with scoring position and two outs. This has to be improved. There isn’t much to analyze there. It just can’t continue.
  • Keith Hernandez said “if he’d left the bat in the dugout, he’d be on first base” and “why swing at all until he shows you he can throw a strike?” Ummm…because there’s no discipline WHEN IT MATTERS.
  • my honest assessment of Baez is that he hasn’t learned to stay within himself. He’s got great talent, but, it’s like he plays “too cocky.” Bryant and Rizzo both have great talent, too, but play “humbly.”
  • I like that this team is facing some adversity now as opposed to later nearer playoff time it allows these young guys to learn how to deal with problems
  • Kyle Schwarber has what? 4 months of major league experience, and below average fielding skills. I’m not ready to consider him for the hall of fame. I like the guy but let’s be fair.
  • Well that was a real piece of shit series.
  • I could easily spin this and tell you that we could have won two of those games, and then it would have been a split and an away split is not that bad…blah blah blah. You want that shit? Go read something written by somebody else.
  • Unwatchable.
  • Mortgage your houses (rates are low!), sell your aluminum, find a way.

Lizard

  • The nice thing about baseball is that there is another game tomorrow

Shout Outs

  • No one had their very first 2016 Regular Season Lizzie this time so let’s have a shout out for everyone! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! (Also welcome back to the top part!)

Top 10 of the 2016 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. Doc Raker
3. Seymour Butts
4. Eddie von White
5. jswanson
6. Doug S
7. Joe Aiello
8. cap’n realist
9. Brad Lyerla
10. Dork

Chit Chat

  • Well, the All-Star break is almost upon us. I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with it. I enjoy the break, but then just as quickly I’m wishing there were meaningful games. I don’t like the game itself or especially the Home Run Derby, yet I find myself watching anyhow. This is an obligation year with so many Cubs on the team. It will actually almost be like watching a Cubs game. So, what say you about this break? Will you watch? (Of course you will.) Do you enjoy it or just grit your teeth to get through it? (As an experiment to see if anyone reads this, I will mention that the Lizzie probability increases significantly when the comment is in response to something I said or asked. I don’t really care for this Chit Chat part so if no one reads it I’ll just as happily leave it out!)
Like what you see here? Never miss new content. Follow Us:

GirlieView (06/23/2016)

Thursday, June 23rd, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2016 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • I think I’m in love with Albert Almora.
  • Joe’s in love. The Phillies’ broadcasters are in awe. That was another fun game to watch. Lackey looks like Mr. Ed.
  • I don’t think we are peaking. I think we are slumping. I don’t have Dork or the new nerds spreadsheets to prove it, but I watch the games. The offense can be much better than it has been the last few weeks, though granted the wins keep coming.
  • When you have three kids (10, 6, & 4), your visit includes Lincoln Park Zoo, Museum of Science and Industry, and hanging with grandma and grandpa. Wrigleyville bars don’t make the list.
  • But Wrigley Field with the Cubs in it should be included. What are you teaching your kids?
  • Seymour can provide a suitable family escape excuse.
  • My first thought was Ross as he is the eldest. Then I looked at the roster and noted I was in college when he was born, so probably not much to talk about in common.
  • Then I thought Schwarber as he went to Indiana and can’t run away.
  • But I decided to go outside the box and pick Madden. At only 4 years older than me, we likely have a lot of shared memories. He is a fun guy interested in having a good time, as am I. He is not a fashion slave and likes cheap eats. He is me with a baseball life.
  • I choked on my toasted sub when I read, ‘fun guy …as am I”.
  • I assume toasted sub is a euphemism.
  • I’d take Theo as long as no Red Sox talk.
  • Montero. No real reason behind it, but he comes off as a guy that could carry a conversation over a meal.
  • Zobrist. I like the veteran’s best. Plus, he’s a downstate guy and I like that too.
  • I think I’d pick Jake the Snake.
  • Pat Hughes.
  • Theo so we could talk about our lives as transplants.
  • Pedro Strop so I could ask him about the hat thing.
  • Definitely Jon Lester. For one thing, he spells his first name the same as I do, so there’s that…but I’d love to hear from him about the whole not throwing to first base thing.
  • The first solution would be to make the game mean nothing again. Honestly, there is no reason this game should mean anything anyway. Managers try to rotate position players in and out of the game, and pitchers throw 2 or 3 innings max. The All-Star game is an exhibition. No one would complain if it went back to being a meaningless exhibition.
  • The All Star game is not interesting to me any longer.
  • Home field advantage should be awarded to the team with the best record.
  • The All-Star game should be after the season, like football does it. Shorten the season by the week they lose, and play the All-Star game someplace warm or indoors.
  • Oh, and the starting 9 should be the 9 players who finish the season with the best overall stats for their position. Let the great unwashed vote on the reserves.
  • They are elite athletes getting paid a SHIT-TON of money to play baseball. If they “need the break” they should take a different job. They get a long paid vacation every winter.
  • Baez – someone needs to work with him on breaking ball recognition…man he can look bad up there. When he whiffed the third time, Santangelo said, “he’s mad at himself for striking out. He shouldn’t be. If you are going to swing like that with two strikes? You are going to strike out a LOT. Get used to it or change your approach with two strikes.” He’s spot on.
  • For the record, Justin Hayward was the lead guitarist for the Moody Blues. I’m sure Len knew that. For you young’uns, the Moody Blues were a popular rock band in the 60’s and 70’s. They kept playing music, they just weren’t popular any more. They still tour. Tweet Len for details.
  • I get so tired of watching our starting pitchers get ahead of hitters all night long and then as soon as the bullpen comes in it is 1-0, 2-0, 3-0, 3-1, always pitching from behind. Not just this season, every season all the time. Yes the Cubs are good but that will kill you in October.
  • No one has any thoughts on what my dream may mean?
  • Oh we stopped reading the top part years ago.
  • I feel like I’m reading a riddle.
  • the next one is sort of like a limerick
  • Bullpen needs a better lefty than Clay Dick
  • I would not give up Schwarbs but I would trade Chris Coghlan, Montero, David Ross, Clayton Richards, Trevor Cahill, Wiffowitz or Adam Dunn.
  • What are you expecting back for that ‘can’t resist’ package of talent?
  • Fernando Rodney
  • I’m sort of over Miggy Mont. Give Contreras some consistent starts over the next few weeks and let him show what he can do and then go from there. If he’s up here, play him.
  • Heyward still looks REALLY BAD to me at the plate. He’s uncomfortable. His swing is still loopy and awkward. I cannot understand why they are leaving him batting 2. Everything and everyone else on this team has changed positions in the batting order (and most of them in the field, too) except this one.
  • So now we are expecting our players to not only play hard, but throw hard as well. You do realize some of these games last longer than 4 hours.
  • Whew! I hate Molina.
  • [I’d] rather see David Ross bat second.
  • his pee-er part

Lizard

  • In the playoffs, there will be zero crappy pitching – and this team has to learn to consistently, not occasionally, beat the other guy’s top 2 or 3. Period.

Shout Outs

  • No one had their very first 2016 Regular Season Lizzie this time so let’s have a shout out for everyone! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er for the third time in a row! Way to go Sherm!

Top 10 of the 2016 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. Doc Raker
3. Eddie von White
4. Seymour Butts
5. jswanson
6. Doug S
7. Joe Aiello
8. Brad Lyerla
8. cap’n realist
10. Sean Powell

Chit Chat

  • What changes do you feel the Cubs need to make between now and the end of the season in order to be playoff-ready? Your ideas can be specific (trade for such-and-such, etc.) or more conceptual (improve moving runners into scoring position) but let’s hear your thoughts!
Like what you see here? Never miss new content. Follow Us:

GirlieView (06/09/2016)

Thursday, June 9th, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2016 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • NO on Braun. Just No.
  • We win the world series for the first time in 108 years? No way I want Fraud taking any credit for it and saying some BS like “I’ve always liked the Cubs and their fans”.
  • Agree. Then we’d have to start cheering for him.
  • No…Fuck No.
  • Big Toe Joe- Seymour used a bad word. They must of under toasted his sandwich today at Quizno’s.
  • I get cranky when they are out of French onion sun chips, Doc.. let it pass
  • I don’t like Braun.
  • As much as it would be an incredible feat for [Arietta] to end the season without a loss, there’s going to be games where he gives up 2 or 3 and the bats go cold.
  • I know there will be tons of reply’s to this as everyone will be fascinated with my viewing habits.
  • We need a stat guy to determine your BARIP (batting average on replies in play)
  • More interested in your viewing habits with folded dollar bills in the Bay Area last week.
  • He uses coins
  • Ouch
  • And one day we shall meet and regale tales of much and little truth.
  • (1 thru 9) Lester, Ross, Rizzo, Zobrist, Bryant, Russell, Soler, Fowler, Heyward.
  • I am really not following your batting order.
  • what are the odds the Cubs still win with Doug’s order?
  • I missed the banter, the “Wood played hard” never gets old I guess. Hope we never trade that guy.
  • There is always more Wood in the forest.
  • Just wanted to post this here to see Raker go crazy: FanGraphs crowd sourced TV broadcaster rankings put Kasper and JD as the 4th best team in baseball.
  • I will bow in the direction of the Cascades at sundown.
  • Pull those pants up a little first
  • It’s nice to see that Joe Maddon reads this blog and pays attention.
  • Looking forward to the NWL starting up the 3rd week of June. Finally some live baseball here and get to see the baby cubs when the green Sasquatches come to town.
  • Do they have a Yeti cooler night?
  • No, but in the 4th inning every game they have a sushi race.
  • So, I see soy sauce, and what I am guessing is wasabi. The other two? A Scotch Brite scouring pad and an egg who works the streets?
  • L-R – Mr Kappa Maki, Chef Wasabi, Ms BC Roll, Sadaharu Soy.
  • That looks delicious
  • I chuckled when you called him Grandpa Rossy, then I cried when I realized I am 6 years older than him. Sigh.
  • In fact, I can honestly say I have no idea who [CJ Reifenhauser] is or how he got on the 40 man roster to begin with.
  • Reifenhauser was, I believe, a 12 year who broke his arm, and when it healed he was suddenly gifted with a 100 mph fastball. Daniel Stern was His personal catcher. Unfortunately, he couldn’t hold runners or field his position, and Thed decided they only had room on the 40 man for 1 of those.
  • Sad to see CeeJer go
  • Reifenhauser plays bass with Kool and the Gang, Thed put him on the roster for Len’s sake but once Len and JD got that #4 ranking Thed figured Len didn’t need the help.
  • The more I watch Ben Zobrist play baseball, the more I realize how important he is to this team. In the month of May, he’s been remarkably productive and I don’t know what the Cubs offense would look like had he not been on the team and Starlin Castrobe manning second base.
  • Zobrist is the best hitter the Cubs have had since Mark Grace, his at bats are outstanding. What a brilliant pick up.
  • Zobrist is excellent. I am more impressed every day with him.
  • Love Zobrist. He is an outstanding batter, fielder, and locker room guy. P.S.-his wife is singing the national anthem today.
  • That would make sense if we really cared to help our service members but we really care to sell more jerseys and what better way to do that than have special jerseys for special days so suckers like you buy more of our stuff. This way you can feel like you are helping our service men when you buy our over priced MLB jerseys. Enjoy, MLB Merchandise Marketing
  • Did you forget that MLB is a whore? I thought I made that clear.
  • Let’s see…MLB takes money for it’s services…check. Fans of 29 of 30 teams end the year feeling screwed…check. Fans of the 30th team get a happy ending, money well spent…check. You can’t kiss MLB on the mouth…check. I guess you are right.
  • Wood pitches long, too
  • It’s not all about length, but what you do when you’re in there that counts
  • Not surprising… Wood always pitches hard against stiff competition.
  • getting wood to go deep was a huge relief.
  • Shame on me for missing the opportunity to work in the deep reference.
  • Ah.. wieners sure are funny
  • It’s a crime that Trey McNutt didn’t default to #3
  • I hate it that the brewers picked up Ramirez. I will be sad every time I see him pitch.
  • Yes Richard is pretty crappy, but so is every team’s final reliever.
  • No team has ever won a game while scoring zero runs. Ever. If you want to blame pitching for the loss, go for it.
  • Richard is the goat because he followed Arrieta and gave up three hits. If he would’ve followed anyone else on the staff, today’s focus would be on the offense that mustered up one hit.
  • I, for one, don’t expect Arrieta to win every game he starts.
  • Physically, [Lester]’s a solid #1 for 15 big league teams. Mentally, and defensively, he’s still a 13 year old.
  • All the 13 year olds I know can throw to first base.
  • But only a lucky few can actually get to first base
  • A friend and fellow Cubs fan described Lester as fragile.
  • Must be Italian
  • So I was just looking through these and Ive decided we are all very weird here.
  • 23 over on June 3. Unbelievable.
  • This just in: Jake Arrieta is human. News at 10:00.
  • Baseball has a funny way of bringing you up and knocking you down. Just about the time you start proclaiming “Jake Arrieta Day” and thinking it’s a sure thing…well, you know.
  • Remember when Jeff Smardijida was our “ace”?
  • This is what happens when you taunt the baseball Gods and start expecting an automatic win from Jake Arrieta every time out. The baseball Gods shut it down all around. No wins for Jake and no posts for the VFTB. Say 10 Holy Mary’s and 5 Our Father’s for your penance and everything will be fine.
  • Who says we’re being patient? Seymour has started a new blog “WherethehellisJoe?.com” Sue is frantic worrying that you got hit by a foul ball. Len had a new tweet called “FireRaker.com”. I accidentally ranted on View From the Beautyshop and three blue-hairs fainted. The Lizzies have gone into syndication in Mad Magazine. Swanson is drawing triangle mouths on the side of city buses. Adam Dunn called. CAPS quit his job and has taken up beachcombing. EVW quit coffee cold turkey and now drinks Earl Grey with honey in it. It’s a shitshow, Joe. A complete shitshow. Hurry back.
  • Watching Philly feed. Guys talking about Lester’s inability to throw to first. Funny, but….No idea who’s at the Pavilion this month.
  • Data nerd here
  • Welcome. We now have a nerd and a dork.
  • Nice – Did you use a spreadsheet to calculate that?
  • Of course. I live in spreadsheets.
  • oh get a room you two
  • Could you send me a spreadsheet with hotels sorted by rating and price filtered down to ones within walking distance to Wrigley to help me make an informed decision of where to get a room?
  • Catchers are like bananas. They are good for a long time but once they start to go bad, they go bad fast.

Lizard

  • And for the love of God, we are having a great season. Enjoy.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Chuck, Junior von White, Kyle Clark, Noah, and Tomas Checkosky for their first 2016 Regular Season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for contributing!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go Sherm, second time in a row!

Top 10 of the 2016 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. Eddie von White
3. Doc Raker
4. jswanson
4. Seymour Butts
6. Doug S
7. Joe Aiello
8. cap’n realist
9. Brad Lyerla
10. Sean Powell

Chit Chat

  • Another off day on GirlieView Thursday so what can we talk about? If you could have dinner with any current Cub who would you pick, and why?
Like what you see here? Never miss new content. Follow Us:

GirlieView (05/26/2016)

Thursday, May 26th, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2016 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Bryant’s RBI liner up the middle when all that was needed was a liner up the middle…not a bomb. It doesn’t always have to be a bomb, and he’s figured it out. He’s going to be SO good.
  • I still miss Castro but I understand the different make up of this Cubs roster.
  • Wood’s lost some heat (don’t do it, Seymour) and is learning to be crafty, but he … needs a little more bend. (Dammit – leave it alone, Seymour)
  • Wood pitches hard.
  • What happened to the half off prom dresses?
  • Lester has a classic case of ‘the yips’ on the throw to first and everyone in the league knows it.
  • No review of the “YIPS” would be complete without defining the words origin. YIPS is an anagram for the first letters of what the coaching staff mutters when observing Knoblock lawn dart a throw from second to first. “You Idiotic Piece of S**t.”
  • Billy Ocean. Any relation to Junior Lake?
  • First cousins, only much larger.
  • Maybe the Cubs could hire a tutor/musician to stroll out to the mound with Chris Bosio and spend 30 seconds humming to Jon – the way some teams have an interpreter for non-English speaking players.
  • Even with no game tonight, it was a great day for Ben Zobrist who was named National League co-player of the week,
  • Still not loving Heyward hitting two. To me, Zobrist probably belongs there behind Fowler – back to back switch hitting on base machines. Heyward has been a rally killer, and until his wrist, or whatever it is that is bothering him, is 100% it won’t kill him to bat lower in the order. Hell, bat him ninth.
  • We lost all of that funny junk we said with the other comment format… I hope Lizzie was taking notes
  • Lizzie never gets distracted.
  • I guess I’ll summarize. Doug was classic, CAPS apparently gets emails every time somebody comments on VFTB, intentionally, Dork had an identity crisis, Sherm shermranted, business as usual for Seymour and me. Raker was studying science at Subway and failed to check in. Still no sign of our beloved Johnsons.
  • get your game face on, triangle mouths and all!
  • She was last seen standing outside of a baseball stadium holding a homemade sign which reads “balls to the face hurt.” Her original sign, “who wants a ball in the mouth?” was stolen by a streetwalker.
  • Last year I dreaded games that David Ross was the starter because he was an automatic out. He’s not an all star, by any means, but watching him play this year has not been torture.
  • Real satisfying watching Sean Rodriguez strike out.
  • I have a problem with people not giving people that are better than them credit. Know where you stand
  • To all the off season Ben Zobrist supporters. You were right, he is an upgrade from Starlin Castro as much as I like and miss Castro. It’s not just the batting average with Zobrist, it seems like everyone of his AB’s is a quality AB. Zobrist is impressive and made the Cubs a better team.
  • Who hasn’t had the metaphorical bat flipped in their face? It’s life.
  • And who hasn’t, metaphorically, at least, punched an arrogant idiot in the mouth?
  • If you don’t like his bat flip, maybe you should have gotten him out.
  • The Pirates are probably still salty from their Wildcard loss.
  • People don’t hate losers. It feels good to be hated on.
  • The Cubs are playing with class and acting like they have been there even though they are not and have not been perennial winners year after year.
  • it prevents [your] back end of the pen guys from staying sharp because they aren’t needed very often. Take Clayton Richard, for example. In the last seven days, he’s thrown one inning. For the year, he’s under six. This for a guy who has the endurance to throw that in one outing, and he’s considered you long man. How can you expect him to be a long man if he doesn’t have the opportunity to throw long outings?
  • There is no reason to have three catchers unless one of them is named Kyle Schwarber and if Tim Federowicz has his name changed to Kyle Schwarber, I retract that statement too.
  • I would just as soon send Federowicz packing and keep Kalish. I bet Baez would be willing to strap on the gear and catch the long man.
  • Heck, I’d rather see Thunder Matt Murton pinch hit over watching guys like Richard, warm the bullpen pine, game after game.
  • The league may be making adjustments on how they pitch to the Cubs.
  • Len – Joe Nathan, there’s two first names
    Thinking Man – Wouldn’t you like to see a Joe Nathan / John Jay matchup?
    Len – Two more first names right there
    Thinking Man – Then you have Jay Bruce
    Len – That’s out number one. That brings up a great point, do you think Jay Bruce was born to run like Bruce Springsteen?
    Thinking Man – Maybe back in his glory days
    Len – We’re through eight. Cubs seven, Milwaukee two.
  • Opportunity for a 4th of July hot dog eating contest tie in with Joe Nathan.
  • Nathan’s famous hot dog probably has an entirely different meaning in the Nathan bedroom
  • Federowitz pinch hit AB in the 9th was putrid.
  • Flailowitz at bat was terrible. I’d have rather seen Travis Wood pinch hit. Pathetic. He didn’t come within a foot of the ball.
  • I would go with Bryant at 1b and jBaez in left. I didn’t think Rizzo should of been pinched run for. Now we are in extra’s without our best hitter.
  • And Baez could have pinch it in that Whiffowitz situation. Or instead of Cahill, who actually did a lot better than Strikeoutawitz.
  • Wood played hard, as per usual.
  • He played hard for a long man.
  • Maddon, when asked what he said to Wood on the mound with bases loaded? “Understand one thing: If you get out of this, you’re getting an at-bat.”
  • I know you have seen good 3b play, you played with me.
  • What happens in the shower, stays in the shower
  • I do want to go back to something Joe said in the original post, though. The WWE is fixed and pre-planned? SON OF A BITCH!!!!!
  • Sorry brother.
  • If they do move a guy out of the pen and into the starting rotation without a trade, I would look for it to be Warren.
  • I’ll start with Grimm. He’s a two pitch guy. Unless one of the two is a heater that hits triple digits with sick movement? He’s not a starter. Teach him a change-up, and then? Maybe. Not this year.
  • look at the standings, and then stare at a photo of Jake and question your sexuality.
  • Heyward is a different story. He’s just not comfortable at the plate. Give him some time off and call it bereavement (for the death of his swing) But really…just drop him to 7 (or 9) in the batting order and let him work it out.
  • VFTB authoring guideline 101 – The word naked usually follows shortly after Murton.
  • Soler busts out. Finally. He was like a big black right handed Kyle Schwarber yesterday. The JS of Death?
  • Bubble wrap the JS of Death and it sticks.
  • Every time I type that, I have to send Sue a nickel
  • I hope you sterilize them first.
  • Nah…they’re wooden
  • Cheap at twice the price.
  • They actually play rookie ball in Phoenix through out the summer. That is brutal.
  • It’s a dry heat.
  • so is fire
  • My apologies, I thought I gave CAPS your celebrity fan line number. $1 a minute to listen to your recording…………..”and then we took batting practice……..and then we played the games………..and then there was laughter and joy for those capable of experiencing laughter and joy……….and then dinner at Quiznos………..”
  • $4.99 a minute. What do you think I am.
  • I did prefer the 24 – 6 stretch over the 5-8 stretch we have been on.
  • Did anyone see the poor ump in LA that took a fouled off bunt to the groin? He went down pretty hard. Karma?
  • Twig or berries?
  • The Cubs are 1st in the league in ERA and 2nd in the league in runs scored. They’re on pace to win 110 games, which would be freaking insane. Don’t let a couple tough losses in May get you down. All is well in Cubbyland!
  • Cardinals Kick the Cubs in the Twig AND the Berries
  • What a blessing Ben Zobrist has been this season. He had another great night at the plate and has been wonderful this season. Imagine this team had he not been brought in and had Dexter Fowler not spurned the Orioles and come to Chicago.
  • The only question mark was catcher, but Geovany Soto grabbed the opportunity and ran with it.
  • My Bushmills taste especially good this evening, it compliments a good old fashion ass kicking of the Cardinals very well.
  • the pig is on the runway. Hammel will be our #2 come playoff time. Lester just isn’t as trustworthy.
  • Hammel is all star caliber this year. Not only does he pitch, but he hits, and he throws to first. That’s 3 out of 3 if you’re doing the math.

Lizard

  • Baseball in person still beats any other sport. Even in a loss.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Andrew Thackray, Bartz, Bilyuds, Buddy, and Dork for their first 2016 Regular Season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Way to go!

Top 10 of the 2016 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Eddie von White
2. Sherm
3. Doc Raker
4. Seymour Butts
5. jswanson
6. Joe Aiello
7. Doug S
8. cap’n realist
9. Brad Lyerla
10. Sean Powell

Chit Chat

  • Today’s day off gives you some extra time to think about the Cubs so give this a try. Given current performance what’s your proposed lineup for Friday’s game vs. the Phillies? (Probable starter is Jon Lester so you must work that in. Adam Morgan is set to start for the Phillies if it matters.)
Like what you see here? Never miss new content. Follow Us: