Author Archive

GirlieView (08/18/2016)

Thursday, August 18th, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2016 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Caffeine became “OK” when an interest in Alberston’s supermarkets was acquired. Everyone should have some flexible morals.
  • Hammel looked pissed when he was given the hook. Minutes later during the Strop experience I was too.
  • and Snoop dogg gets the error..
  • The fact that you like someone (anyone) in the 2 hole is probably better left unspoken.
  • I go back and forth on my feelings on Soler.
  • If Hendricks keeps this up, I would make him my # 1 starter in the playoffs. He’s better than Lester and Arietta as of late – go with the roll.
  • I feel very fortunate to have seen Ichiro play live as often as I did.
  • Dan Historn was a promising young pitcher in the Mets system, actually. His career was tragically cut short by a near fatal case of genital warts.
  • You guessed it folks, Cindy Sandberg.
  • Why not stop pouting, put the time in, and then be part of something special this season.
  • Completely agree on LaStella. Take a pill, apologize and get your ass to Iowa. As Joe says, there’s something special happening, be a part of it.
  • I keep reminding myself these pro sports guys are used to being pampered and babied along their whole lives. He probably doesn’t really know any other way than to pout.
  • LaStella thinks he is too good for Triple A and he’s not, given his place in the organization. That’s a problem.
  • LaStella failed to take into account that if someone gets injured he would have been the first one called up.
  • Was yesterday a day off? I thought there might be a recap today.
  • Sherm’s in China and we don’t know where Joe is.
  • Did you see Molina’s reaction on the cut to home on Coghlan’s RBI single? Molina was visibly upset. It was very entertaining.
  • Before the game, we got the results of the MRI on Pedro Strop and it looks like a meniscus tear that will put him on the shelf for 4-6 weeks, unless he channels his inner Derrek Rose, in which case he’ll never be right again.
  • Cubs are getting better and the Cardinals are falling into a sloppy mess. Bushmills on me!
  • Tony LaRussa must be rolling over on the floor of his Diamondback office watching these Cardinals make physical and mental errors day after day, it is just so enjoyable.
  • With Strop going down for 4-6 weeks all the more reason to look at Lackey as a bullpen guy in the playoffs if Strop doesn’t return to form, or maybe even he Strop does return to form since his form is mis shaped.
  • The Matheny way. Such garbage. Actually, I don’t mind Coghlan getting hit. Might be a way for the Cubs to put him on the 90 day DL and be done with him.
  • They won’t be happy with the tossed greens. They want red meat.
  • Julius
  • Obviously, I’m not seeing the games – the Olympics are on 24/7 though and apparently China is the only country participating.
  • KFC everywhere but I question the “C”
  • All of a sudden, our bullpen kind of stinks.
  • No man can be that stupid and selfish to just give up a chance to be part of perhaps the greatest sports story ever because he didn’t want to spend a couple weeks in Iowa, right? Right?
  • LaStella is having an ego meltdown. He thinks he is too good for 3A. He’s not. At least not on this team, the one he professes to want to be with. He’s got to grow up, eat some crow and report.
  • Aroldis Chapman – no first names
  • He used to be Harold Chapman, but Harold wasn’t scaring anyone.
  • Basically, the guy knows what he’s doing and so there are probably reasons these guys are hitting where they are beyond the stat lines off of which we base our arguments.
  • I’ll be one who looks a lot like my avatar, sans the geometrically shaped pie-hole.
  • Tuesday and Wednesday just look for the guy wrapped in bubble wrap – that’ll be Raker making Sue proud.
  • I have a ticket for Sue, haven’t heard back from her as of yet.
  • I thought we should just paint big blue letters on our bare chests – V – F – T – B, but then we’d have to remember to stand in the right order and it would become difficult. By time they showed us, it would be four guys with BFTV and that doesn’t sound right for a handful of reasons.
  • I know Kris Bryant is in the running and leads in WAR, but my MVP vote goes to Rizzo.
  • As great as Bryant is, Rizzo is the cornerstone of this team. If you’ve got to pick one, I vote Rizzo. That said, they go together like sham-a-lam-a ding-id-de-ding-de-dong. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen two guys who just seem to belong on the same team like they do.

Lizard

  • they all count.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to New Guy for his first 2016 Regular Season Lizzie! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Even from China you’ve still got it!

Top 10 of the 2016 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. Doc Raker
3. Eddie von White
4. Doug S
4. Seymour Butts
6. jswanson
7. Joe Aiello
8. Brad Lyerla
8. cap’n realist
10. Dork

Chit Chat

  • On M-Tu-W of next week a handful of our VFTB’ers will be meeting at the Cubs games in San Diego for some fun and fellowship. Safe travels, boys! What happens in San Diego stays in San Diego unless someone wants to send us some stories. Heh. Regardless, HAVE FUN!!!
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GirlieView (08/04/2016)

Thursday, August 4th, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2016 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Love good defense.
  • Yikes! Shut out. I need to work on my comedy.
  • I give you an assist for the waiting room music Lizzie. I know no other cardiologist, so the joke is half yours.
  • Can we give Heywards contract to Fowler?
  • Thanks to the protective netting, no fans were hurt or beer spilled by foul balls in our section.
  • I missed Dex. To Imagine the Cubs spent all their off season energy and money on Heyward when Dex was sitting right underneath their noses and they were ready to allow him to leave.
  • I’m willing to give just about anyone a second chance, but prefer players of character over those without. Time will tell.
  • EVW.. I’d like to redact (most of my) Tony Campana jokes.. I’d take him as a son in law in a second.
  • She’s a Cubs lover for sure – got that from me; her beauty is all mom.
  • I don’t hate it. Don’t love it either. They didn’t give up Schwarber.
  • If he isn’t in jail then he can hold a job so why not pitch and get outs for the Chicago Cubs.
    you have to have a lead to use a closer. And to have a lead? You have to score runs, and that requires good at-bats, patience, skill, smarts and a whole bunch of other stuff that this team has suddenly lost.
  • ball of energy, goodness gracious
    no relation to great balls of fire
    Jerry Lee Lewis, great balls of fire
    no relation to Aroldis Chapman
    hopefully that’s great strikes of fire, pal
    if not there will be a whole lotta shaking going on
    you said it pal
    Cubs down 0-3, we’re through 8 at US Cellular
  • Nice outing by Jason Hammel – which is huge considering his history of second half swoons. Chips ahoy!
  • Hammel had the line of the night – in the post game interview when asked about Chapman he said “I don’t see what’s so great about the guy – I heard he could throw 105 and he only hit 103.”
  • If you are going to stand on principle and refuse to root for any “bad” guys, then you really, really need to eliminate professional sports from your life, because I’d challenge that you can’t find a team in any sport that is “clean.”
  • You don’t have to root for Chapman. I won’t. But, if Chapman is in the game in the 9th inning of a World Series game, by all means I want him to be successful.
  • Yes, I root for the team. I didn’t want Lester here. But once he was, he was one of the guys on the team, like it of not. I want him to do well while here.
  • Gender aside this is pretty close to how I feel about it. I don’t want to date him either.
  • How would we afford to marry Chapman when we can barely get by with our jobs as-is?
  • Pardon me while I make a call to end something.
  • Joe needs to hate on more of our guys if this is what happens. Joe?
  • Screw you Jason Heyward
  • That’s what I’m talking about.
  • Wow it actually worked!
  • Cubs beat Sale! Great win. Chapman is dominate, fun to watch!
  • Trade Coghlan, put Heyward on the DL and keep CJ, Contreras, Salad Man and LaStella Artois.
  • Lizzie’s make me smile
  • Did Heyward just get a hit… With people on base… That wasn’t a double play… That resulted in runs… At a point in the game that greatly improved their chances of winning the game?!?!
  • Joe’s been hating on him.
  • I will never tire of Sherm’s rants or perspective. I prefer Sherm in the booth over Jessica and Len. Sign my petition: Hire Sherm now.
  • You had me at game balls.
  • Miguel Monterrible
  • As good as Zobrist was in the beginning of the season he has been equally bad lately. That was a terrible swing to strike out with he bases loaded. At least Javy corkscrews himself into the ground on a strike out. Wait that is not any better.
  • Outside of maybe Heyward, is there a more frustrating player on the Cubs than Baez?
  • somewhere in-between the missing Johnsons and Ask Joe Anything?
  • Missing Johnson, singular… we established a girl ran off with one. Ask Joe Anything turned into Ask Joe About Condiment Fingers, and we’re due for another installment.

Lizard

  • I understand Doc would weigh in but he’s busy lobbying for Len to be the PTBNL.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout out to jerryb for having his first 2016 Regular Season Lizzie!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker, Doug S., and Sherm, our co-Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time! Congrats all around!

Top 10 of the 2016 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. Doc Raker
3. Eddie von White
4. Doug S
4. jswanson
4. Seymour Butts
7. Joe Aiello
8. Brad Lyerla
9. cap’n realist
10. Dork

Chit Chat

  • The Opening Ceremonies for the 2016 Summer Olympics (officially The Games of the XXXI Olympiad) are tomorrow from beautiful (???) Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. We are big Olympics fans here in our house but we’re having a difficult time getting excited about them this time. Maybe it’s because the Cubs are keeping our interest this year, unlike most! Maybe it’s the dead bodies washing up on the beaches. Not quite sure. How about you? Will you watch the Olympics? What are your favorite summer Olympic sports? (Fun fact, there are 41 different sports in the Summer Olympics. How many can you name without looking it up? Don’t feel bad, I can come up with about 5 and I’m a big fan! LOL)
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GirlieView (07/21/2016)

Thursday, July 21st, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2016 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • I like the chit chat…reminds me of the old Saturday Night Live Coffee Talk segment…”I’ll give you a topic…Barry Foote was neither a berry, nor a foot…discuss.”
  • Grape Nuts are neither grapes nor nuts.
  • Testicles. Family blog.
  • Malt balls are balls made of malt.
  • I find MLB’s All-Star game to be a joke.
  • Love to chit chat, just ask my wife. “Hi honey, I am home. Did you see the Cubs choke another one away today? First place my fanny. Can I pour you some Redbreast Irish over some rocks? We need Schwarbs honey, I am telling you” Wife- “I’ll take a double”
  • Does she take a double because of the Cubs or because you’re home?
  • Jon Lester is scheduled to make his last start before heading to San Diego this Saturday. Since his blankey is on the 7 day concussion DL, Lester will throw to Willson Contreras and NOT Miguel Montero. I can’t tell you enough how excited this makes me. The training wheels are off for Contreras and the Cubs are beginning to trust him over Montero.
  • I’m pissed that we hit into 17 double plays. Okay, three, but whatever.
  • Peeved – (family site).
  • I’m a Willy fan. (and no, Seymour, that’s not a dick joke)
  • Willy played hard?
  • Batting down in the order is helping Heyward. Wish we’d have thought of that.
  • It’s not fun to write about, and it’s certainly not fun to talk about, which is why Sherm sent me a text last night saying he couldn’t possibly write any thoughts for the post without cursing.
  • 3 days in a row of letting that (insert family acceptable borderline profanity here) Sean Rodriguez hit HRs against us.
  • our TV broadcasts are not very informative.I think the world of Pat Hughes on the radio-side,
  • So for 2 innings they couldn’t understand why bAez just didn’t take the double play in front of him and then come to the conclusion that he is just smarter than everyone else. I wonder if they got call from Thed telling them that bAez is being marketed as a smart player so get with it.
  • I hate Bryan Adams.
  • I don’t know who Bryan Adams is.
  • I love Bryan Adams
  • we’ve seen two distinctly different teams this year. The great one and the really shitty one. I’d settle for a good one from this point forward.
  • Hendricks (and I can’t believe I’m typing this) is the best pitcher of late because he’s executing his plan. If we hit the playoffs tomorrow? I think I’d start HIM.
  • I’ve never been a Baez fan. I’ve always been a Soler fan, but now I am neither. Package them up and make a deal.
  • Soler, unfortunately, is prone to injuries (I’ve never seen anyone out as long with a hamstring pull. Have you?) Baez is prone to stupid.
  • When Eric Fryer was at bat Len said, “So if Fryer goes deep is it a Deep Fryer?” Seriously. Len said that. Probably waited all day
  • Suffice it to say for now, that I am optimistic about this organization, this team and this particular squad. I plan to enjoy the rest of the season, starting with the All Star game tonight. But, as always, I will cultivate a bit of detachment – just enough to protect my psyche, in case the gods do not smile again this year.
  • My sense is that the Cubs will not trade Kyle Schwarber until they give him the chance to show how good he can become in left field. His hitting is too high quality to do otherwise.
  • Let’s just talk about trading bAez, Soler, Montero or Ceasar or Len.
  • After the second straight day of attacks on one of my favorite musicians, I feel it’s important to Make A Stand. These sort of attacks tend to Cut Like a Knife, and though many of you may not be fans, it’s important that he can Depend on Me.
  • Cock Robin was known for their hit song “When Your Heart is Weak” which, as I understand it, continuously plays on a loop in Seymour’s waiting room.
  • Fast forward to September 10th, 2001, I met a tall exceptionally attractive woman on a first date in Manhattan Beach, California. We had a great time for the first half hour or so, but then the conversation lagged. She asked what type of music I was into. I couldn’t admit to Chumbawumba at that point, so I muttered “Bryan Adams.” Turns out SHE LOVED THE GUY! The next day was extremely tragic for all of us, but we decided to keep seeing each other. Three months later, we flew to Vegas to see him live at the Paris Casino on New Year’s Eve. I kicked down for 13th row tickets, the best I could afford. The first 12 rows of the venue were completely empty, the usual Vegas garbage of hanging on to the best seats as a thank you for the worst gamblers. After a single song, he stopped the show and asked the ushers to orderly move everyone 12 rows closer. Initially, they refused, and the head of the casino had to come on stage and meet with him before they’d do it…but he steadfastly said that his fans deserved to be close. We ended up in the front row. The following 4th of July I got engaged to that woman, and 15 years later, Bryan Adams’ music is something we still agree on. Unlike 3rd Eye Blind and Chumbawumba, my marriage and Bryan Adams have stood the test of time. Sure it’s cheesy, and the lyrics are bad, but admit it, you know the words. “I got my first real six string…”
  • Very romantic, Cap’n. And when it comes to the romantic, the regulars on this site could be All Stars. That’s what it takes Cubs fans. You have to be a crazy romantic.
  • Crazy romantic? You’re half right.
  • Move on to the awards post. Baseball geeks talking music can’t end well.
  • The Len Kasper Award goes to VFTB for 3 days of music related headlines during the all star break.
  • As for the bullpen, the near future looks rather grim…pun intended.
  • Stats are great indicators. Another is rise in blood pressure, mine. Grimm and Cahill lead the group in that category.
  • Wasn’t the Cole Hamel no hitter last year the first Sunday game after the All Star break? DejaVu?
  • If Darvish would have done it, would it have been DejaYu? Thanks, I’ll be here all week.
  • Played some baseball IRL yesterday and missed the game. Theriot game… 1-2 with a walk and two errors.
  • I also can’t help saying that it was a gorgeous July night in Chicago. Poetic with a huge moon rising over the right field bleachers. The kind of night that night baseball was made for. I also liked the 6:05 start. Home a little after 9. Nice.
  • I’d prefer to see the pitcher hit, or not hit, as the case may be – and keep that strategy in the game. Not a DH fan.
  • Tough loss. I didn’t like Baez’ bunt. We needed an rbi there. Not another runner.
  • It sure looked like a different pitching rotation this time through, capped off by Jake’s outing last night.
  • When you load the bases against Jeurys Familia, one of the best closers in the game, when he’s not even close to throwing strikes, and then fail to score, you deserve to lose the game.
  • Salad Man steps up in the 9th with the bases loaded with Familia struggling to throw strikes and immediately swings at 2 pitches out of the zone. He wins the Horrible At Bat of the Day award which is pretty hard to do with Miguel Montero in the line up.
  • These are the situations that matter in October, anyone can hit when it is 8-0.

Lizard

  • Do simple better.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout out to Nate Head for his first 2016 Regular Season Lizzie!!!! Way to go!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Brad and Doc Raker gave him a real challenge this time! Thanks for the great commentary gentlemen!

Top 10 of the 2016 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. Doc Raker
3. Eddie von White
4. Seymour Butts
5. jswanson
6. Doug S
7. Joe Aiello
8. Brad Lyerla
9. cap’n realist
10. Dork

Chit Chat

  • Not that we wouldn’t be talking about this anyway, but on this off-day maybe we can chat about how we’re feeling now that the All Star game is over and the Cubs are back to work. I think we were all a bit frustrated going into the break. How about now, any better?
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GirlieView (07/07/2016)

Thursday, July 7th, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2016 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Happy Birthday to Raker
  • Not me, Alec Berg today.
  • I hope you got him some hockey tickets.
  • Wednesday’s game reminded me of the rebuilding years and how quickly a game can unravel for a young team that can make some errors. It was ugly.
  • Sherm is the Jake Arrieta of Lizzies. Great job. Just don’t tweet about Chris Sale.
  • The notable exception is the Girlie View posting where we do read the top part. I suspect most just look for their own work, but still.
  • This column is read top and bottom.
  • Whoever came up with the Lizzie idea is a genius.
  • I’ve found my confidence in Jon Lester to be increasing a little more with every start.
  • I swear…..the 1st time I read that title I saw “Losing Streaks… Make It Strop”
  • I don’t agree with Baez at 3b, you conveniently left out the video of the ground ball going through his legs in the 8th inning. Yes, Baez is athletic and makes great plays but he makes errors on routine plays.
  • Heyward simply can’t do it in the 2 hole.
  • I read the top part. Just sayin’
  • Me too… but only because I felt shamed into it.
  • I don’t understand playing Coghlan AT ALL.
  • Safe to say we had the shit kicked out of us in Marlin country.
  • The Cubs have been sloppy.
  • AA – Trey McNutt: 5 IP, 2 H, 1 ER, 3 BB, 4 K, 3 Testes
  • Theriot Game (2 for 5 with a double and one error)
  • Who was Greenberg called up with?
  • Lizzie’s boyfriend Geo?
  • Big Toe Joe’s shower mate.
  • everything has been slightly off the last two weeks.
  • Had it with Kasper tonight. Don’t give a damn what rock star the Reds pitcher looks like.
  • Someone has to make the obligatory “That was some good Wood last night” comment.
  • Cowboy was commenting on the Reds radio broadcast in the mid innings on Javy Baez swings. “If this guy ever learns to shorten up and make contact he could be a great short stop for somebody but with these big swings no matter how many strikes he has, not so much.”
  • put the kids, Edwards, Peralta and Patton in as necessary.
  • That’s the starting outfield.
  • if Peralta’s a kid I’m headed to summer camp today.
  • Shit, he’s 40, you’re quite correct.
  • Peralta ‘has been everywhere… man’. Len sung the song for him.
  • I do admire Maddon’s willingness to try things. The vibe I get is that his players like it too. And that means something.
  • “Sale and Quintana, that’s a good one” “don’t forget Sonny and Cher, JB” “I’ll see you Sonny and Cher and raise you Simon and Garfunkel” “Of course there’s Hall and Oates…”
  • Tennessee Tuxedo and his pal, Chumley
  • We rank 19th in batting average with runners on, 17th with runners in scoring position, and 23rd with scoring position and two outs. This has to be improved. There isn’t much to analyze there. It just can’t continue.
  • Keith Hernandez said “if he’d left the bat in the dugout, he’d be on first base” and “why swing at all until he shows you he can throw a strike?” Ummm…because there’s no discipline WHEN IT MATTERS.
  • my honest assessment of Baez is that he hasn’t learned to stay within himself. He’s got great talent, but, it’s like he plays “too cocky.” Bryant and Rizzo both have great talent, too, but play “humbly.”
  • I like that this team is facing some adversity now as opposed to later nearer playoff time it allows these young guys to learn how to deal with problems
  • Kyle Schwarber has what? 4 months of major league experience, and below average fielding skills. I’m not ready to consider him for the hall of fame. I like the guy but let’s be fair.
  • Well that was a real piece of shit series.
  • I could easily spin this and tell you that we could have won two of those games, and then it would have been a split and an away split is not that bad…blah blah blah. You want that shit? Go read something written by somebody else.
  • Unwatchable.
  • Mortgage your houses (rates are low!), sell your aluminum, find a way.

Lizard

  • The nice thing about baseball is that there is another game tomorrow

Shout Outs

  • No one had their very first 2016 Regular Season Lizzie this time so let’s have a shout out for everyone! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! (Also welcome back to the top part!)

Top 10 of the 2016 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. Doc Raker
3. Seymour Butts
4. Eddie von White
5. jswanson
6. Doug S
7. Joe Aiello
8. cap’n realist
9. Brad Lyerla
10. Dork

Chit Chat

  • Well, the All-Star break is almost upon us. I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with it. I enjoy the break, but then just as quickly I’m wishing there were meaningful games. I don’t like the game itself or especially the Home Run Derby, yet I find myself watching anyhow. This is an obligation year with so many Cubs on the team. It will actually almost be like watching a Cubs game. So, what say you about this break? Will you watch? (Of course you will.) Do you enjoy it or just grit your teeth to get through it? (As an experiment to see if anyone reads this, I will mention that the Lizzie probability increases significantly when the comment is in response to something I said or asked. I don’t really care for this Chit Chat part so if no one reads it I’ll just as happily leave it out!)
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GirlieView (06/23/2016)

Thursday, June 23rd, 2016

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2016 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • I think I’m in love with Albert Almora.
  • Joe’s in love. The Phillies’ broadcasters are in awe. That was another fun game to watch. Lackey looks like Mr. Ed.
  • I don’t think we are peaking. I think we are slumping. I don’t have Dork or the new nerds spreadsheets to prove it, but I watch the games. The offense can be much better than it has been the last few weeks, though granted the wins keep coming.
  • When you have three kids (10, 6, & 4), your visit includes Lincoln Park Zoo, Museum of Science and Industry, and hanging with grandma and grandpa. Wrigleyville bars don’t make the list.
  • But Wrigley Field with the Cubs in it should be included. What are you teaching your kids?
  • Seymour can provide a suitable family escape excuse.
  • My first thought was Ross as he is the eldest. Then I looked at the roster and noted I was in college when he was born, so probably not much to talk about in common.
  • Then I thought Schwarber as he went to Indiana and can’t run away.
  • But I decided to go outside the box and pick Madden. At only 4 years older than me, we likely have a lot of shared memories. He is a fun guy interested in having a good time, as am I. He is not a fashion slave and likes cheap eats. He is me with a baseball life.
  • I choked on my toasted sub when I read, ‘fun guy …as am I”.
  • I assume toasted sub is a euphemism.
  • I’d take Theo as long as no Red Sox talk.
  • Montero. No real reason behind it, but he comes off as a guy that could carry a conversation over a meal.
  • Zobrist. I like the veteran’s best. Plus, he’s a downstate guy and I like that too.
  • I think I’d pick Jake the Snake.
  • Pat Hughes.
  • Theo so we could talk about our lives as transplants.
  • Pedro Strop so I could ask him about the hat thing.
  • Definitely Jon Lester. For one thing, he spells his first name the same as I do, so there’s that…but I’d love to hear from him about the whole not throwing to first base thing.
  • The first solution would be to make the game mean nothing again. Honestly, there is no reason this game should mean anything anyway. Managers try to rotate position players in and out of the game, and pitchers throw 2 or 3 innings max. The All-Star game is an exhibition. No one would complain if it went back to being a meaningless exhibition.
  • The All Star game is not interesting to me any longer.
  • Home field advantage should be awarded to the team with the best record.
  • The All-Star game should be after the season, like football does it. Shorten the season by the week they lose, and play the All-Star game someplace warm or indoors.
  • Oh, and the starting 9 should be the 9 players who finish the season with the best overall stats for their position. Let the great unwashed vote on the reserves.
  • They are elite athletes getting paid a SHIT-TON of money to play baseball. If they “need the break” they should take a different job. They get a long paid vacation every winter.
  • Baez – someone needs to work with him on breaking ball recognition…man he can look bad up there. When he whiffed the third time, Santangelo said, “he’s mad at himself for striking out. He shouldn’t be. If you are going to swing like that with two strikes? You are going to strike out a LOT. Get used to it or change your approach with two strikes.” He’s spot on.
  • For the record, Justin Hayward was the lead guitarist for the Moody Blues. I’m sure Len knew that. For you young’uns, the Moody Blues were a popular rock band in the 60’s and 70’s. They kept playing music, they just weren’t popular any more. They still tour. Tweet Len for details.
  • I get so tired of watching our starting pitchers get ahead of hitters all night long and then as soon as the bullpen comes in it is 1-0, 2-0, 3-0, 3-1, always pitching from behind. Not just this season, every season all the time. Yes the Cubs are good but that will kill you in October.
  • No one has any thoughts on what my dream may mean?
  • Oh we stopped reading the top part years ago.
  • I feel like I’m reading a riddle.
  • the next one is sort of like a limerick
  • Bullpen needs a better lefty than Clay Dick
  • I would not give up Schwarbs but I would trade Chris Coghlan, Montero, David Ross, Clayton Richards, Trevor Cahill, Wiffowitz or Adam Dunn.
  • What are you expecting back for that ‘can’t resist’ package of talent?
  • Fernando Rodney
  • I’m sort of over Miggy Mont. Give Contreras some consistent starts over the next few weeks and let him show what he can do and then go from there. If he’s up here, play him.
  • Heyward still looks REALLY BAD to me at the plate. He’s uncomfortable. His swing is still loopy and awkward. I cannot understand why they are leaving him batting 2. Everything and everyone else on this team has changed positions in the batting order (and most of them in the field, too) except this one.
  • So now we are expecting our players to not only play hard, but throw hard as well. You do realize some of these games last longer than 4 hours.
  • Whew! I hate Molina.
  • [I’d] rather see David Ross bat second.
  • his pee-er part

Lizard

  • In the playoffs, there will be zero crappy pitching – and this team has to learn to consistently, not occasionally, beat the other guy’s top 2 or 3. Period.

Shout Outs

  • No one had their very first 2016 Regular Season Lizzie this time so let’s have a shout out for everyone! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er for the third time in a row! Way to go Sherm!

Top 10 of the 2016 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. Doc Raker
3. Eddie von White
4. Seymour Butts
5. jswanson
6. Doug S
7. Joe Aiello
8. Brad Lyerla
8. cap’n realist
10. Sean Powell

Chit Chat

  • What changes do you feel the Cubs need to make between now and the end of the season in order to be playoff-ready? Your ideas can be specific (trade for such-and-such, etc.) or more conceptual (improve moving runners into scoring position) but let’s hear your thoughts!
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