Funtastic Friday: Magic Condiment Fingers

It’s tournament time everyone. This is by far my favorite time of the year. I actually went as far as to sing a messed up version of a Christmas tune to celebrate.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
There’ll be brackets a bustin
‘n folks will be cussin
and calling in sick don’t ya know?

That’s all I’ve got so far, but it’s a work in progress. I love the next few weeks so much. We have March madness separated in between by my birthday on the 24th and then capped off with my national holiday, Opening Day. This will actually be the first time in I don’t know how long that I’ve decided to go into work on opening day. The only reason being that the Cubs play later in the day. If it weren’t for that, my butt would be on the coach all day, disturbance free.

Am I the only one that has an opening day ritual? Even as early as grade school, my mom would let me skip school on opening day and watch baseball. Typically I’ll get takeout of some kind for lunch, usually something like a sampler platter from TGI Fridays and endulge in fatty foods and baseball. Depending on the weather, I even try to play golf in the morning. What’s your opening day tradition? Let’s hear them in the comment section.

Deadspin Funbag Question of the Day:

I don’t know if you’re a reader of www.deadspin.com, but I love the weekly fun bag, with questions of all randomness fielded by Drew. I’d love to run a piece like that weekly or even monthly, so feel free to send me random questions that in no way have to be sports related to joe@viewfromthebleachers.com. Just put Funtastic Friday in the subject so I know what they’re for…or don’t, I don’t care either way.

The plan in the meantime is to pull a random question from their archives that I find particularly amusing and pose it to you for your input and answers on a fairly regular basis. Today’s initial edition is one that came up recently. I actually posed it to my wife today over lunch and surprisingly enough, she didn’t blow it off with a “you’re a moron” type reply. In fact, she actually engaged in a bit of contemplating over the question and semi-participated in the answer.

Assuming you could only use 5 condiments the rest of your life and they were stored in a fresh and never ending supply (one per finger on one of your hands), which condiments would you choose AND which finger would they be stored in?

The question becomes difficult because this would include breakfasts (maple syrup/honey), desserts (chocolate syrup) and of course any lunch/dinner meal you could think of. Salad dressings do not count on their own unless you use them as a dipping sauce/topper (blue cheese for wings).

Which 5 would you choose and in which finger? Why?

I put some thought into this while scarfing down my bison burger at Ruby Tuesday and came up with the following:

Index Finger: Ketchup – It has to be ketchup, because it’s the condiment that I probably use the most, which means it has to be stored in the most accurate finger on my hand. Any other finger tends to be a little less accurate and that doesn’t seem smart for your MVC.

Thumb: Honey: It seems like an odd choice, I know, but I absolutely go ape for some good honey. Ever buy that honey in a big glass jar that didn’t even have the ability squeeze out? That stuff was a mess and gave honey a bad rap. Now, if you can get by the stickyness of the flip cap that takes a moment with the jaws of life to pry open, you’re able to enjoy a sweet sauce that can serve so many functions. It can double as a breakfast treat or top what we call in our house a monkey sandwhich (peanut butter, banana and a drizzle of honey). If it wasn’t so dang dangerous, I’d seriously consider raising bees just to steal that stuff right out from under them,

Middle Finger: A-1 Sauce: I gave this one a lot of thought and feel the only place to put the A-1 is the middle finger. Every time I eat a fat steak (without bones cause I’m weird like that), I put a healthy pond of A-1 on my plate to dip it in. I ask for it in restuarants and people always give you that funny look like you’re committing a cardinal sin that didn’t quite make it in the ten commandments, but was one of the last four out (note the tournament reference). I simply can’t enjoy my steak without it, so putting in the middle finger means you have to extend it while you pour that stuff on your plate. What a perfect message to all those who look down on the act.

Ring Finger: Mayonnaise: I’m not a huge fan of the stuff. By itself, it’s really kind of gross, but I can’t eat tune without it. Since I love me some tuna melts, mayo becomes an essential condiment for my hand.

Pinky Finger: Hot Sauce – I put hot sauce on my eggs. I put hot sauce on my hot dog. It goes in as much food as I can. Oddly enough, I’ve never put it on pizza, though I hear that’s good too. Hot sauce simply has to make the cut.

Just Missed the Cut

- Duck Sauce – I don’t like Chinese food, but could absolutely drink that stuff when I’m done eating an eggroll.
- Honey Mustard from Chili’s – Need I explain?

Random Picture of the Day:

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Wordless Wednesday…(well maybe a few words about the DH)

I kind of like doing the whole wordless thing, but I’ve been wanting to comment on a post I found a few days ago, so I’m breaking the silence.

I can’t post the article in full because it’s subscription based on ESPN Insider, but the topic itself is an interesting one. We’ve long debated the idea of baseball doing away with the DH. Everyone has mixed feelings on the topic. Personally, it doesn’t bother me a whole lot that it’s still around. I love scoring a game with the DH because it makes for a cleaner sheet. At the same time, I can also see the argument that it’s not how baseball was created.

Tom Tango proposed a couple changes to how the DH is run in the AL which made me think a little.

1. House Rules

His concept here is that it’s the home manager’s decision whether or not to use the DH. It’s the way it’s done in spring training and may add an element of strategy for teams without a great offense when a team like the Yankees come to town.

2. One-and-Done

The concept here is that when it’s the pitcher’s turn to bat, regardless of where in the order that may be, the DH is essentially a pinch hitter that is given one at bat and then must be removed. The manager has the choice when the situation arrives whether or not to use a pinch hitter or simply let the pitcher hit. This concept is the one that most appeals to me because it’s most like the NL game.

3. My Bodyguard

I hate this idea, but it’s definitely interesting. The DH is tied to the pitcher. When the starter comes out, so does the DH that was attached to him.

4. Relay

Either the DH or the Pitcher must be removed each time. It’s basically the opposite of # 3.

What are your thoughts?

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Projecting the Roster: Week 2

Another week means another edition of the weekly projecting the roster series. Before we get to that, I’d like to ramble mindlessly again in a shameless attempt at breaking my record for most lizzie awards in one post. Last week I managed to score four in one post. It was like a flashback to when Titanic was at the Oscars. Perhaps this week will be the same.

I don’t think I mentioned it the other day, but I purchased my ticket to see the Cubs at an away stadium for this year. Living in North Carolina, I usually make the trip up to D.C. each year when they come to play the Nats. This year, the series is during the week, so I had to come up with a new plan. Plan B this year is to catch the Cubs in Cincy in late August. The best part of the experience is the ticket I purchased. It was a $30 ticket in the….wait for it……ALL YOU CAN EAT section. I’m psyched. I will be arriving at the opening of the park and eating the first portion while waiting in line for seconds. That makes me wonder why every team doesn’t have a few sections with the all you can eat concept, escpecially teams that don’t sell out every game. I’ll be sure to give you the breakdown on the park and the food. I’ve heard good things about Great American Ballpark, so I’m excited.

Projecting the Roster – Week 2

Ryan Theriot
Kosuke Fukudome
Derrek Lee
Aramis Ramirez
Marlon Byrd
Alfonso Soriano
Geo Soto
Mike Fontenot

Carlos Zambrano
Ryan Dempster
Randy Wells
Sean Marshall
Tom Gorzelany

Xavier Nady
Sam Fuld
Jeff Baker
Koyie Hill
Andres Blanco

Carlos Marmol
John Grabow
Jeff Samardzija
Esmailin Caridad
John Gaub
Andrew Cashner
Mike Parisi

Comments:

• I don’t want to admit it, but I think Tyler Colvin probably deserves the 5th outfield spot at this point for two reasons. 1. He can actually throw, which Nady cannot do. 2. He’s outplayed Sam Fuld tremendously and can play all three outfield spots. I’m just torn on the concept of him sitting on the bench. The only way I’ll go into the season being OK with him on the roster is if he’s going to get a start or two each week. If he’s not going to get that playing time, I’d rather her see him get regular at bats down in Iowa.
• I think the bullpen is actually starting to take shape. Guab has shown early success and deserves a spot in the pen based on that and the fact that he was very good all last year. Samardzija is not going to make this rotation. I just don’t see him as a starter, but he’s good enough to be a member of the pen, especially since he’s has any type of major league experience. It’s something this group will be lacking so the more veterans the better.

Thoughts?

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Funtastic Friday: Mindless and Random Ramblings

For whatever reason, I’m up early this Friday morning. That always sucks because of the fact that it means I’ll be tired early this evening. It sucks getting old. I feel like going to bed just about every night around 10p. I used to wonder why my grandparents had no issue with going to be at 9p and waking up at half past the butt crack of dawn to eat breakfast. Now I know. It’s as if your mental wake up clock uses a permanent daylight savings time that shifts back a few minutes each year you’re alive. I don’t like it one bit.

All this off-season, all we’ve heard about is Milton Bradley. I’m sick of Milton Bradley. I propose a new rule. When you trade a player, with him goes the right to talk about him anymore. If all we’re going to do is let this garbage be the storyline of the off-season and spring, where are we heading? It’s certainly not the right direction.Why not talk about the fact that Tyler Colvin is off to a great start with the bat? Perhaps we could focus on the idea that Starlin Castro really may be a star, but he hasn’t outhit a ferocious start by the Riot. Maybe Randy Wells and his lights out first two outings. What I’m getting at here is that there is an awful lot of good, solid positive stories with some of the young kids in this organization. Let’s start making them the focus instead of a racially paranoid idiot in Seattle.

I’ve decided that I’m pissed off that the MLB Extra Innings package doesn’t include spring training games. When I pay to see the baseball games, it’s not asking much to have MLB shoot me a few extra baseball games for the Cubs. It doesn’t have to be a great feed of the game put on by WGN or things like that, but I’d like to see more games. I pay for it, and I should see it.

I made grilled cheese for the wife and toddler and I yesterday for dinner, along with some oranges and beef soup. Before you give me map props, the soup came out of a can. That said, I threw some jalapenos on my grilled cheese and I must say I’m hooked. I don’t know what made me think of it, but the result was like eating nachos in sandwich form. Outstanding. I highly recommend trying it, and be sure to let me know if you do.

Illinois plays Wisconsin today in a must win game if they’re going to make the tournament. Part of me doesn’t even want to watch the game, despite being a really big Illini fan. I don’t see much of a point. They’ve played so bad lately that it’s hard to not only see them winning, but having any chance of advancing past the first round if they make it. Thank God for the guys coming in next year.

Great Moments in Work Idiocy

This segment seemed to go really well a week or two ago, so I figured I’d bring it back a little bit. This moment happened to my co-workers on Wednesday of this week and made me laugh. It was around 5:30p. I had already gone home from the day, which left three ladies to close it up. All of them are in their mid to late 30’s. One of them, we’ll call her Meredith, is dating a guy who just so happens to have the exact same name (spelling included) as our office manager. We’ll call them both Stacy. So this particular evening, as they’re all leaving, Meredith decides that she’s going to text her boyfriend, Stacy. She pulls out her phone and composes a message that says “I’m so hot right now” and presses send. Moments later my office manager, who has the same name as the boyfriend, receives said text message on her phone but doesn’t recognize the number. Confused for a second she asks out loud what the heck message is this? She then recognizes the number and asks Meredith to confirm what her cell # is. Upon confirming, there is a mass embarrassment on both ends as both parties realize that in the process of sexting, Meredith has selected the wrong Stacy from the address book and sent her dirty admission to her boss instead of her boyfriend.

Posted in Featured, General | 15 Comments »

Wordless Wednesday: Evolution of Apple

I got a new phone yesterday. Let me say that Droid rocks. That said, here is a funny thing I found for wordless Wednesday.

Posted in Featured, General | 15 Comments »

Projecting the Roster: Week 1

Every Monday until the opening day roster is finalized, I’ll take some time to make a few observations about the week that’s past and look forward with that information in a futile attempt to project what I think should be the roster that takes the field on opening day. I say futile because of the fact that it’s ultimately not up to me and we all know that teams always make at least one curious move.

* Projected Members of the opening day roster are in bold and players still in in the hunt are ranked in order of depth chart.

Catchers
Geo Soto
Koyie Hill
Wellington Castillo
Chris Robinson
Robinson Chirinos
Steve Clevenger

There really isn’t a competition at this position, with Soto and Hill figuring to get the call, but there is an outside chance for a guy like Castillo to show enough defense to potentially push on Hill a little bit. We saw Castillo show his arm on Saturday on a throw to second. If he can hit a little in the minors, he could push forward and put some pressure of a role player like Hill for the backup spot.

Infielders
Derrek Lee
Aramis Ramirez
Ryan Theriot
Mike Fontenot
Jeff Baker
Micah Hoffpauir
Chad Tracy
Bobby Scales
Andres Blanco
Starlin Castro
Kevin Millar

My guess is that there really aren’t many openings for a roster spot in the infield. Jeff Baker and Mike Fontenot both figure to make the roster, primarily due to a lack of option years. Fontenot still has one, but he’d have to clear waivers for it to work. Essentially, both are out of options. Lee, Ramirez, and Theriot are roster locks, so that leaves just the last infield spot. Right now, Hoffpauir comes in as a favorite due to the fact that he’s been there before, but he could easily lose that job to someone due to versatility or overall production. My guess is that Chad Tracy will push Micah for that spot and may just completely take it from him. Tracy has a higher ceiling in the fact that he’s done it before. He’s been very successful at the Major League level in the past. Perhaps the hitting guru can sprinkle his magic dust on Tracy’s bat and get him back to 27 HR form.

Guys like Scales and Blanco would probably need to see an injury happen before they get a shot on the roster out of spring. Scales is probably higher on the depth at this point due to the fact that Blanco hurt his ankle on Saturday against the White Sox.

Outfielders
Alfonso Soriano
Marlon Byrd
Kosuke Fukudome
Xavier Nady
Sam Fuld
Tyler Colvin
Brad Snyder

There appears to be a 5th outfielder role available here, with the assumption that whoever takes it will need to be able to play CF. Fukudome showed he could do it, but you’d really want someone who is more comfortable in the event that Byrd needs to come out. Both Fuld and Colvin can do that. Right now, I’d like to guess that Fuld is the favorite. At the same time, the way Colvin has started at the plate combined with the increased weight and conditioning this off-season, it appears that Colvin is out to win this job. I’m a Colvin guy, so I’d love to see him on the roster. At the same time, I don’t know that I’d want him in that 5th OF / pinch hitter type role. If that’s the spot that’s available, I’d rather see Fuld get that spot and let Colvin get the regular AB’s down in Iowa.

Starting Pitchers
Carlos Zambrano
Ryan Dempster
Randy Wells
Tom Gorzelanny
Sean Marshall
Jeff Samardzija
Carlos Silva

Let’s keep this one simple. Carlos Silva = BAD. There is no way I want him on this roster. Let’s just pay him not to pitch. I don’t think we’ll see two lefties, so it’s my guess that either Marshall or Gorzelanny will be relegated to bullpen work. That leaves Samardzija making the rotation out of spring. Lord help us all.

Bullpen
Carlos Marmol
John Grabow
Anyone’s Guess on the Rest

Goodness. I have no idea where to even start with this aspect of the team. When you get right down to it, there are typically seven spots reserved for bullpen arms under Lou. With Angel Guzman being shelved for what looks to be his career, there’s really only two guys that are locks. From there it’s going to be an over the top battle royal for the other five spots, with at least one of them going to a name that is currently competing for a starting spot. Right now, I really see it being anyone’s guess as to who makes this opening day roster out of the pen and I couldn’t like it any more. I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned it before, but I don’t believe in paying for bullpen help. I think it’s an area of your roster that can easily supplied from the farm with guys who can’t seem to develop enough secondary pitches to make it as a starter or guys with electric stuff that either don’t have the endurance to start or simply need to see Major League action and can’t find a spot in the rotation.

All that said, there are a few names I’d like to see make the opening day roster. Andrew Cashner is a guy that I’ve been clear in the past on. He projects to either be a starter with great stuff that can’t consistently get past the 6th inning or as a back of the bullpen, late innings type of pitcher. It almost reminds me a little of the Joba Chamberlain situation in New York. They’re struggling to decide what to do with Joba and I think the Cubs have done the same. If Cashner doesn’t make the team out of spring, I have no issue with him down on the farm developing as a starter. It allows him to continue to develop his secondary stuff and get the innings needed to continue to develop.

Another name I really like is John Gaub. For some reason, Gaub didn’t get a shot last year despite really good numbers over the course of both AA & AAA. He throws from the left side, which was something we craved all last season before Grabow came along. If he pitches well this spring, I think he deserves a spot in the pen.

Overall, it’s going to be a fun spring training watching these guys battle for their spot. Right now, it’s just too early to pick a favorite when the highest innings pitched by anyone on the staff is two. We’ll know a little more after this week.

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Wordless Wednesday

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I Take Issue With the ESPN Depth Chart

I was perusing ESPN today in preps for spring games starting this week and wanted to see where they felt players fit on the depth chart. What I found there horrified me.

Aaron Heilman!?!?!?! What the heck? I thought we dumped him. Then I thought to myself “Self, maybe they just haven’t updated this all off-season”. Sigh of relief is breathed until I notice Xavier Nady in the mix. Seeing that Nady was just signed, it’s obvious that they’ve taken the time to update the chart this off-season. Apparently Heilman has a real good chance to make this club out of spring training despite the fact that he will be in camp with the Diamondbacks. What makes me laugh is that, oddly enough, he’s also projected to make the D-Backs out of spring training as well according to their depth chart.

Looking further, we see David Patton’s name on the list. Patton’s really ahead of Esmailin Caridad, John Gaub, Jeff Samardzija, and Justin Berg? Sometimes I think they just throw things out there and bank on people not questioning their choices. That’s the only logical explanation for this garbage.

Any thoughts on the chart? Do you agree with everything else?

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Great Moments in Work Idiocy

Before we get into some stories from the workplace, we need to take care of some housekeeping elements about the actual subject this blog tries to follow. Here are some notes:

Brett Jackson is a weird dude. Why do I say that? Well, the guy actually likes having the needle stick him to give blood.

”I like it,” said Brett Jackson, the affable center fielder from the University of California. ”I was telling Josh Vitters when they were sucking my blood out [for annual physicals], I kind of liked it. Isn’t that weird? That’s weird. I enjoyed it. I like blood.”

Gotta love him. As long as he can get the job done in center when Marlon Byrd is done there, I could care less about what he does in his free time. (Gordon Wittenmeyer)

Angel Guzman reported soreness in his right shoulder and will be shut down for a few days, the Cubs said Thursday. (Paul Sullivan)

The Cubs are still pursuing other veteran pitchers such as the Toronto Blue Jays’ Jason Frasor and San Diego Padres’ Luke Gregerson to help out their paper-thin bullpen. The Padres will trade closer Heath Bell at some point during the season, but the combination of Bell’s upper echelon salary and the Cubs’ lack of money available make trading for him remote. (Bruce Levine)

Now, on to the feature.

• Customer calls and says oh I had a coupon for free pizza but I don’t have it anymore. Can I still get it? NO!! Do you walk into a 7-11, buy a slurpee and say oh I had a $5 bill, but I don’t have it anymore? NO YOU DON’T!

• Customer ordered delivery on the internet. Driver went there. No answer. So I called him, no answer. An hour later, customer is like where’s my pizza.
  Me: We went to (your address) and there was no response, and we called and got no response
  Customer: That’s not my address. I put the wrong address in when I ordered
  Me: So why didn’t you call the store when you put in the wrong address?
  Customer: I didn’t know what to do
  Me: You had the intelligence to call the store when you didn’t get your pizza, but you didn’t think it would be a good idea to call when you put the wrong address in?

My story actually happened to my brother, but I worked in the same job at one point. Thankfully, this never happened to me. A guy at our church owned a street sweeping business. Each night a team of 2 people would go to roughly a dozen smaller parking lots, mainly Walgreens and stores of that nature, to clean up the lots. Because you’re cleaning a parking lot, it makes sense that you have to work late at night when no cars are going to be parked there. When you arrive at the lot in the truck, one person would drive around the lot sweeping, while another guy (who made less money no less) would get out and walk around picking up big garbage and putting it in a garbage bag. Always seemed a little unfair that the guy in the car, nice and warm and CLEAN would get more money than the guy covered in filth by night’s end, but I digress.

This particular night in a rather sketchy part of Chicago, sometime after midnight, my brother is out freezing his tail off picking up half empty beer bottles, pizza boxes, etc and simply trying to keep an eye out for rats. It’s late and you really don’t expect to have a conversation with anyone at that time, so when someone calls out it kind scares the daylights out of you. My brother is working and a guy comes up, not drunk from what he says, and says hello. My brother acknowledges him and the guy proceeds to ask him if he knows where the fetish club is. Apparently he was told there was one in the area and this guy is in the mood to get freaky wit it. Rather creeped out, my brother explains that he doesn’t know where the club is and continues to go about his business. Not wanting to take no for an answer, the guy then has the light-bulb come on upstairs (and probably downstairs as well if you know what I mean), and proceeds to offer my brother $20 to simply let him smell his feet. Obviously he’s turned down cold, but he continues to clarify that he doesn’t want to touch my brother or anything like that, just simply wants to take a big whiff of the feet. Definitely one of the weirder stories I’ve ever heard from someone at their workplace.

Now it’s your turn. Share a story or two with us about work. Maybe it’s that tool of a boss you’ve got or those customers that drive you insane. Let’s hear it.

Posted in Featured, General | 34 Comments »

USA on Track (and on Snow)

With six days left, Canada has fallen too far behind. Before the Olympics started it looked like they had a good shot at winning the medal race. But the United States has risen to the occasion and is in the lead, with Germany coming on strong the last couple of days. Vancouver’s proximity to the United States gives the US an element of the home field advantage as well. Here is the medal situation as of this morning:

Nevertheless, based on the remaining events, we still predict that Canada will come on strong. In fact, we predict them to win the most medals in the remaining six days (15, compared to 9 for USA and 7 for Germany). Our projected final totals at this point are:

While we fell short on our original projection for Canada, our original United States projection (10 golds and 33 total medals) is still right on the button.

“Used with permission from John Dewan’s Stat of the Week™, www.statoftheweek.com.”

Posted in Stat of the Week | 5 Comments »

Funtastic Friday: Spring Training Questions

Originally we had planned on Great Moments in work idiocy, but I’ve decided to issue a challenge to you, the reader, on that topic. E-mail me some good stories you’ve encountered via work. Perhaps they’re related to customers, or that annoying / weird co-worker or boss. Whatever the story, make it good and keep it PG-13. We’ll run some of the better ones next week.

In the meantime, here is a list of questions I received from one of my favorite readers, Tom C, courtesy of his dad. Tom’s an owner of Pepicelli’s Pizza in Ashland, VA. They make a mean pie, I have to admit. I’ve had a chance to get to know Tom and can vouch for his ability. If you’re in the Ashland, VA area, take some time to order from Pepicelli’s.

1.  Geovany Soto lost 40 pounds.  Is he back?

2.  How good is Starlin Castro?

3.  Will Aramis play a full year?

4.  Will Lou play Koske through May, then send him back to Japan?

5.  Can Derrek equal last year?

6.  Is there any reason to give Silva more than mop-up innings?  He was terrible even when he was good.  Why did we get him?

7.  Will somebody point out to Carlos Marmol where the plate is?

8.  Can Mike Fontenot regain some of his 2008?

9.  Jeff Baker’s babip was .374 with the Cubs last year.  Will he fall into Mendoza territory?

10.  Can Jeff Samardzija pitch?

11.  Will we miss Rich Harden?

12.  How much further will Alfonso sink?

Let’s get some discussion going on today.

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State of the System: Shortstop

After a rather encouraging edition on Monday when we looked at the 2B position, we move forward with yet another strength in the system, the SS position. We’ve seen a lot of talk recently about Ryan Theriot and his arbitration case. One of the factors that seem to be influencing the Cubs decision to take a player to the arbitration table is the depth in the system at this position. Here are some names to know in the system.

Ryan Theriot
Year   Age  PA  R 2B 3B HR RBI SB CS BB SO   BA  OBP  SLG  OPS OPS+
2006    26 159 34 11  3  3  16 13  2 17 18 .328 .412 .522 .934  135
2007    27 597 80 30  2  3  45 28  4 49 50 .266 .326 .346 .672   71
2008    28 661 85 19  4  1  38 22 13 73 58 .307 .387 .359 .745   92
2009    29 677 81 20  5  7  54 21 10 51 93 .284 .343 .369 .712   83

Expected Level: Major League Stater

How Acquired: 3rd Round Pick (2001)

Has there been any player that divides fans more on his ability than Theriot. It seems that you’re either on one side or the other. Either Theriot is overrated and average, or he’s in the upper echelon of players at his position in the Majors. Each party has their reasoning and the end result is a heated debate and stubbornness of wills. I tend to fall in the camp that Theriot is an average player. That’s not to say I don’t like him or appreciate him being on this team, but to say he’s a vital cog in the wheel is ridiculous. It’s at this point that a certain former writer will come out of hiding and pronounce that nothing is changed here; we’re still bashing the greatest SS in Cubs history. What the Theriot lovers fail to realize is that just because we feel that he’s an average SS, it doesn’t mean I don’t like him as a player. Theriot has a great attitude and he’s one of my favorite Cubs. That can be the case without him being a great player, but when you look at the numbers, it’s hard to argue that he’s middle of the road.

Take a look at these rankings among the 9 NL shortstops who qualified for the batting title in 2009

Batting Average – 5th
On Base % – 4th
OPS – 6th
Homeruns – 7th
Runs – 6th
Runs Created – 6th

The fact is, there are a couple really good SS in the NL and Theriot’s game simply doesn’t match up with them. It’s not a knock on him. He’s simply a guy filling a role that needs to be filled.

Starlin Castro
Year   Age   Lev  PA  R 2B 3B HR RBI SB CS BB SO   BA  OBP  SLG  OPS
2007    17   FRk 253 47  6  2  2  31 13  2 23 24 .299 .371 .371 .742
2008    18    Rk 215 33 11  5  3  22  6  5 14 33 .311 .364 .464 .829
2009    19 A+-AA 509 56 23  6  3  49 28 11 29 53 .299 .342 .392 .734

Expected Level: AA-Tennessee Starter

How Acquired: Non-Drafted FA

This is going to be an interesting spring training for Castro. Depending on who you talk to, he has a legit shot at making the team out of spring training. Depending on who you believe, Castro is going to be given a shot to win the job. I tend to be in the camp that he’d have to overwhelmingly go crazy with the bat this spring to make the team outright due to his age and lack of experience. Personally, I’d like to see the Cubs be cautious with him simply due to the lack of experience. This is a kid that hasn’t had more than 125 at bats at the AA level. Why not be patient? What’s the harm in breaking camp with Theriot at short and Fontenot or Baker at second? Wouldn’t it be smarter to give the kid a chance to continue to develop without the pressure of not only the concept of being a top prospect on an opening day roster, but also being a kid who’s hyped up all over the internet in a city that hammers people who don’t perform. Call me a mother hen, but I’m sheltering this kid a little.

All that said, Castro is a kid with great speed and he’s shown the ability to play up to competition at higher levels. He’s played with, and played better than kids older and more advanced than him and shone accordingly. Keep in mind that he also made 39 errors at shortstop last year, so there is much to learn defensively for Castro. Rushing him to the big leagues could force those errors to the big stage, which could then translate to his offensive game. Give the kid a chance to slow down, develop the areas of his game he needs to work on, and get a potential look in September if warranted.

Other Notable Names

• Hak-Ju Lee – A lot of scouts feel Lee is actually a better prospect, in terms of ceiling, than Castro. The only reason him and the other names in his section don’t get their own profile is because Castro appears to be the heir apparart right now. He’s going to be the kid that gets the pub while Lee gets the chance to develop slowly in the system under the radar. Lee figures to be a good average hitter with above average to good defense. Right now, like his counterpart Castro, he makes a lot of good plays, but misses some simple ones. He’s got great range at SS, and should supplant Castro, moving him to 2B. If all goes well, we’ll see a speedy, good glove middle infield in 2012.
• DJ LeMahieu – Most recent 2nd round draft pick out of LSU, he figures to be developed somewhere other than SS. Potential suggestions would be 2B or 3B.
• Darwin Barney – “a future utility infielder. He makes contact and can play the ‘little ball’ game if asked, but he isn’t a power threat and his plate discipline is only mediocre. His running speed is average, but he fundamentally sound on the base paths and will pick up an occasional steal if the battery gets lazy. Defensively, his range and arm strength are also just average for shortstop, but scouts like his soft hands are general quickness afield.” ~ John Sickels

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State of the System: Second Base

Since the last edition of the series took a look at a rather thin area of the system in 1B, perhaps we should take some time to look at the bright spots of the system, the middle IF, starting with 2B.

Mike Fontenot
Year   Age  PA  R 2B 3B HR RBI SB BB SO   BA  OBP  SLG  OPS OPS+
2007    27 260 32 12  4  3  29  5 22 43 .278 .336 .402 .738   87
2008    28 284 42 22  1  9  40  2 34 51 .305 .395 .514 .909  130
2009    29 419 38 22  2  9  43  4 35 83 .236 .301 .377 .677   72

Expected Level: Potential platoon at the ML level with Jeff Baker

How Acquired: Acquired from Baltimore in a deal for Sammy Sosa

I like Mike Fontenot. I like the way both he and Ryan Theriot play the game. I like his attitude with the media. What I don’t like is the idea of him as the starting second base occupant in 2010. 2009 showed he has flaws and the league exposed them. Competition with Baker and potentially Theriot if a certain prospect, who’s name we will not speak of for fear of a Corey Pattersonesque jinx, makes the club out of spring training or shortly thereafter. The best role for Fontenot right now is that of a part time player at 2B with the role of backing up someone like Aramis Ramirez in the event that rest is needed to preserve that shoulder. I thought he did an OK job at the hot corner last year and would be fine with seeing him in that role should 2B not work out for him. Look at it this way, if Jake Fox could handle 3B duties, surely Font could as well. Overall, I don’t see Fontenot being any more than a role player that will be gone in the next year or two if the arbitration price gets too high, given the depth in the system at the middle infield area.

Ryan Flaherty
Year   Age     Tm Lev  PA  R 2B 3B HR RBI SB BB SO   BA  OBP  SLG  OPS
2008    21  Boise  A- 245 39 19  2  8  26  4 24 51 .297 .369 .511 .880
2009    22 Peoria   A 543 81 24  5 20  81  7 50 98 .276 .344 .470 .814

Expected Level: High-A Daytona

How Acquired: Supplemental 1st Rd (2008)

I’m a Ryan Flaherty fan. He’s a great guy to interview and comes from a good baseball program in Vanderbilt. Then again, Jay Cutler and Earl Bennett came from Vandy and we all know how that’s working out. The knock on Flaherty is that he seems to be a man without a position. He’s definitely capable of playing mutiple spots in the IF, but lacks all the tools to do any of them particularly well. His arm is suspect, which would seem to make 3B and SS a tough option. Couple that with the fact that SS is a position for the elite in this organization and you’re left with 2B, which is where Flaherty found himself the majority of the season in 2009. His slash stats all declined with the move to a higher level, but his power shone through. As a first round pick, I would have expected a little better production at the plate from a contact aspect, but sometimes it takes a little time. 2009 was his first year of full season baseball and that may have something to do with the decline. An alarming aspect of his 2009 season, and John Sickel’s points this out as well in his prospect handbook, is his sharp difference vs. LH as opposed to RH. Versus the lefties, he hit .211 / .287 / .421 whereas against righties he posted .294 / .362 / .481. What Sickels does not mention is that 2009 doesn’t appear to be the norm. In his short minor league career, his numbers look like this: .262 / .324 / .500 against LH and .287 / .359 / .479 against RH. That includes the drastic difference from 2009, so it’s clear that ‘09 was probably a fluke in terms of the wide gap in splits.

I’d like to see Flaherty continue to be used primarily at 2B with the occasional spot start at 3B and SS for depth in an attempt to give him stability in the field, which should help him focus on his development at the plate. I can see Flaherty taking a big jump if that happens and liken his role with the team to a more talented Fontenot. Someone like a Mark DeRosa.

Logan Watkins
Year   Age    Tm Lev  PA  R 2B 3B HR RBI SB CS BB SO   BA  OBP  SLG  OPS
2008    18  Cubs  Rk 107 15  3  0  0  14  2  0 20 19 .325 .462 .363 .824
2009    19 Boise  A- 318 48 14  2  0  29 14  7 27 31 .326 .389 .391 .780

Expected Level: Low-A Peoria

How Acquired: 21st round pick (2008)

Watkins is a guy I’d like to see the Cubs be patient with. There really isn’t a big reason to rush him through the system. He signed out of high school late in the draft, but there was talk of him going as high as the 4th round if only talent was factored in. The cause for the drop in stock was due to his football talent. He had committed to Wichita State and reneged on that offer after the Cubs showed their onions with their offer of big money. I can’t say that I blame the kid for signing. $500K is a lot of money to an 18 year old. So far he’s made the Cubs investment look like a good one with his success at both levels he’s played at.

He doesn’t figure to hit for much power, if any, but he makes good contact and appears to have good strike zone judgment based on his low strikeout numbers. 2009 also saw an increase in running on the base paths, though his success rate still needs work. Stealing is a skill that can be learned and it will need to be an asset for him to compensate for a lack of power. If you’re not going to hit the long ball, steal some bases and turn those singles into doubles. His fielding is just average. He’s not going to win a gold glove, but his defense won’t kill you either. What he lacks in polish, he makes up for in athleticism. Some even think that an eventual move to CF may be a possibility.

Ideally, I’d like to see Watkins working in Mesa with the coaching staff on baserunning, bunting, etc, all the little things and then start the year at Boise again with the promise that he will get a taste of Peoria midway through. We’ll see which way the Cubs go. My guess is that he’ll be placed in Peoria.

Tony Thomas
Year   Age        Tm   Lev  PA  R 2B 3B HR RBI SB CS BB  SO   BA  OBP  SLG  OPS
2007    20   2 Teams A--Rk 235 51 12 10  5  39 28  2 27  46 .296 .393 .533 .926
2008    21   Daytona    A+ 493 62 30  4  7  43 22 10 34 113 .266 .320 .400 .720
2009    22 Tennessee    AA 497 66 24  1 11  41 13 13 50 106 .251 .341 .389 .730

Expected Level: AA-Tennessee

How Acquired: 3rd round pick (2007)

Thomas frustrates the crap out of me. I follow him on Twitter, and really wish he’d start to show some of the numbers we saw as he made his debut in 2007. He’s seen his offensive numbers decline each year with a promotion, and I have to believe that the Cubs will put the breaks on the promotions until he begins to show statistical merit. His defense regressed statistically in 2009, which is another strike against him. 2010 is a key year for Thomas. It’s time for him to show some promise and progress or risk being passed up completely by others in the system.

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Funtastic Friday: Biggest Pet Peeves

It’s Friday. As we wait for the Lizzies (which are the highlight of everyone’s day) to come out, I wanted to present to you a new feature called Funtastic Friday. What will in involve? I have no idea. Today’s edition presents a list of some of my pet peeves, sports related and non-sports related. Feel free to comment on this list with some of your own.

I HATE:

• When people are late – It’s disrespectful to the people you’re scheduled to see and shows your lack of class. There really isn’t a good excuse for being late. Traffic jam? Should have left earlier. Woke up late because your alarm didn’t go off? Set two alarms. No excuse soothes my anger when people are late. I once heard the saying that said “If you’re early, you’re on time; if you’re on time, you’re late” My sentiments exactly.
• When people are trying to talk to me while I’m on the phone – Are you that stupid that you can’t see the phone connected to my ear? Do you not realize that when it’s connected to my ear, it’s not for fun, but because someone is actually on the other end talking to me? We wouldn’t just walk up to someone and interrupt them when they were talking to someone face to face. Why do people feel it’s appropriate to interrupt just because they can’t see the other person in the conversation? This comes into play for me all the time at work. I’m on the phone with a patient and idiots come up and try writing me notes to ask me a question or just flat out just start talking. Then they have the balls to get mad at me for ignoring them.
• When a team swings early in the count on all three outs of a 1-2-3 inning – You’re trying to beat that stud pitcher and every inning he goes is critical and what does your team do? Three straight outs on a grand total of 5 or 6 pitches? Good god, can you not just stand in the box, keep the baseball bat on your shoulder, and take a few pitches? Is it really that hard for a team to see at least 10 per inning? Absolutely mind boggling.
• When girls complain about the toilet seat – I’ll start trying really hard to put the seat down when I’m done taking a leak if you’ll try really hard to remember to put it up for me when you’re done. Think about it. If you’re in a house with one bathroom and it’s you and a female, chances are that when one person is done it will be the other person’s turn to go next. It’s only fair, right? (Sorry Lizzie)
• When the President is on every channel – Why can’t this be done like the Olympics and other sporting events like the Super Bowl. Networks bid for the rights to carry the event. Why can’t events like the State of the Union address be run in a similar manner? This would give me the other channels to watch while the speech is going on if I get bored with it.
• When the idiot “know-it-all” is “teaching” his dumb friend about the game – I was in Baltimore watching the Rays play a few years ago. Side note: If you’ve not been to Camden Yards, you’re missing out. This moron sitting by us was going on and on to his ignorant buddy about the game of baseball, teaching him the ropes. Unfortunately he was spouting off so much incorrect garbage that I almost looked at his friend and unlearned him all the stuff that was just fed to him over the past two hours. Why do guys feel the need to try to impress with knowledge they don’t actually posses? Just watch the game and enjoy each others company.
• When people talk during the previews and then the actual movie – Maybe I’m being a little anal about the previews idea, but I actually like seeing the previews to make a mental note of future movies I’d like to partake in. Why can’t people shut their yap when the lights go down. If you’ve got to, start making out if it will shut you up. This reminds me of the time my wife and I went to see Adam Sandler in ‘Click’, which is a movie my friend Ben said “changed his life”. During the movie, my wife and I sat in the back row, yet did not make out. All throughout the movie, four teenybopper girls ran their mouths and could care less about the movie. Finally, in a rather loud voice that causes quite a few folks to look back at us, I asked the girls if it was possible for them to speak a little louder because I was having trouble following their conversation over the movie. My wife proceeded to get embarrassed and question out loud (quietly) why I would do that, to which I answered her in a loud manner “because these idiots are too loud”.

OK, I’m done being a total tool and admitting my anger and frustration, but I feel better. Take the time to comment and present some of your nuggets as well. Happy Friday. Here’s hoping you win a Lizzard.

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