Today VFTB doesn’t visit with Cubs broadcaster Bob Brenly. We hope you enjoy this in-depth interview with “Fake Bob.”
BUDDY: Good morning, Bob. Thanks for giving us a little of your time.
FAKE BRENLY: No problem, dude. As long as I can practice my guitar scales while we chat. I’ve got a big gig coming up at the Minooka VFW Hall.
BUDDY: No problem. Let’s talk about the 2011 Cubs. What are your impressions of this team?
FAKE BRENLY: I’m a musician, man. I don’t do impressions.
BUDDY: I meant, what are your thoughts about the team’s performance? Are you disappointed?
FAKE BRENLY: A wise man once said, “All gave some, some gave all.” You know what I mean?
BUDDY: Not really. But I think that’s a Billy Ray Cyrus song from the 1990s.
FAKE BRENLY: Are you accusing me of ripping off a fellow artist? I would never do that! We bleed for our craft! Do you understand?
BUDDY: Let’s move on to Mike Quade. How would you grade his first full season as Cubs manager?
FAKE BRENLY: I don’t do the grade thing, but I love Mike’s haircut. He looks like the guy from Smashing Pumpkins.
BUDDY: So you’re pleased with the job Quade has done?
FAKE BRENLY: Have you ever spent time in an infantry unit, son? Ever served in a forward area? Ever put your life in another man’s hands? Asked him to put his life in yours?
BUDDY: Are you doing Jack Nicholson from “A Few Good Men?”
FAKE BRENLY: That’s twice you’ve disrespected me you rotten punk! You wanna step outside?
BUDDY: Worse than you know, but let’s try this one more time. How does it feel to be one of the voices of the Chicago Cubs? You’re in some legendary company.
FAKE BRENLY: It’s truly an honor. Every day I get to open up my soul and really connect in a meaningful and spiritual way to music fans all over the world.
BUDDY: What about baseball fans?
FAKE BRENLY: Sure. They’re allowed to listen to music, too. That’s why I give so many tips and suggestions about new bands, great albums, and can’t-miss concerts. My fans love it, and I love them. In fact, I’ve written a song about our magical bond. Do you want to hear it?
BUDDY: I’m afraid that’s all the time we have today. Thanks to Fake Bob Brenly for taking a few minutes off my life.