View From The Bleachers

Talking Cubs Baseball Since 2003

Thursday

7

August 2014

50

COMMENTS

GirlieView (08/07/2014)

Written by , Posted in General

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2014 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • “Theory” is not a guess…In academic usage, the word theory refers to analytical tools for understanding, explaining, and making predictions in various fields of study.
  • Get off your soapbox. Just yesterday our insightful Wood commentary was praised by a newcomer.
  • I need some vodka for my kool aid.
  • I shall send you some.
  • Should Rizzo even be in consideration at all? I mean with his well documented anti-social behavior in Iowa and all.
  • Moot. He hit two homers for a sick kid, so we’re good to go.
  • I believe that in all of the commotion of Jeff and Jason leaving someone forgot to close the door and the Bupkiss’ dogs came in and ate all of the homework
  • Instead of following the unsolicited advice of Mark from Toronto and making sure I get enough sleep every night, I stayed up to watch the Cubs
  • I’m on the west coast. The time zone means I’m awake for Cubs games, good and train wrecks like last night.
  • I couldn’t take it I flipped over to the Iowa cubs
  • Congrats Jswan. Let’s meet at the Vegan Eaterie for a granola bar and some soymilk to celebrate your commentary brilliance. How about around 4PM, Seymours Chevy Volt starts running out of battery power around 5PM so we need to do a blue hair special.
  • I could use some flax.
  • I write to you from sunny Denton, Texas, where it is a refreshing 102 degrees.
  • When done in the right way, I think acquiring pitching through free agency and through trades is a lower-risk proposition than spending first-round draft picks on pitching.
  • I think that the nature of the market these days is that it’s unavoidable to assume some of the age-related risks of established starters. It’s the other side of the coin of avoiding assuming the risk of first-round pitching prospects in the draft … Either you’re going to assume the risk in the front end with the draft, or on the back end in the after-30 years.
  • Shift ban. I’ve heard it all now.
  • That only leaves 2 options. Direct drive, or a continuously variable transmission.
  • I have an idea – why don’t the hitters just learn how to hit better?
  • that’s just crazy talk
  • Looks like the Cubs officially have no chance at the playoffs now as I see the playoff odds are now down to 0.0%. At least that also means those odds can’t get any worse!
  • That’s lower than a prom dress at 1:15AM.
  • Darwin Barney traded to the Dodgers for a PTBNL …good for him.
  • I bet it’s Puig.
  • Everyone knows the next chapter in this story right? Plays well for the Dodgers, makes playoff roster, gets World Series ring.
  • Disney approaching Barney this week for movie deal. Johnny Depp lined up for role.
  • I met Darwin in the locker room at Fitch Park a few years ago. Over the past few seasons I’ve also had conversations there with Jeff Samardzija and Ryan Dempster. Perhaps speaking to me is not in the best interest of any player who wants to stay a Cub.
  • I met Seymour in the locker room at Fitch Park, we chatted. I didn’t get signed to be a Cub. Now I know why.
  • This comment is not Lizzie-worthy because realism.
  • FYI – there are other reasons that your comment isn’t Lizzie-worthy, but hey, why rub it in?
  • Just subtly mention wieners and you’ll be good to go.
  • What is this “subtly” of which you speak.
  • I am pretty sure that if Baez, Bryant, and Soler hit .350 with 35 HR each season coupled with normal progress from Castro and Rizzo and the rest of the guys, Theo could cobble together a pitching staff good enough to make the playoffs. The Cubs would have the #1 offence in the NL by far. Heck, even Edwin Jackson would be able to win a game or three with that kind of run support.
  • If Theo can shop Jackson at his contract price he’s a genius….or a swindler.
  • Sometimes they work and sometimes they fail miserably, but no team can survive a season without the band of merry gentlemen coming out of the pen
  • arbitration is a bit awk(ward for you oldies).
  • Switch hitting catcher/3b – #7 prospect in the ATL organization, so I wouldn’t say hosed. You think those two trade aways were long term in the Cubs plans? I don’t.
  • A 20 year old at that. A good trade, thought the net hair balance is unchanged on the club
  • Wait. What? The NHB?
  • Bonny bald – Russell well a few too many hairs – it all evens out
  • I still haven’t figured out why they all want to look like Karen Carpenter on the mound. Real intimidating, fellas.
  • If we can just get Schlitter to tone down his mountain-man look we can have a presentable ball club again.
  • The Cubs received their player to be named from the Dodgers in the Darwin Barney trade – and hey, he isn’t nothing!
  • For now, Doubront has been placed on the disabled list with a, ahem, *cough* real leg injury, so the Cubs won’t have to find a spot for him on the MLB team right now. Isn’t it convenient that this injury would pop up right now? I mean, what are the odds?!
  • I almost think that they are hoping he will struggle and use that as motivation to make the final tweaks he needs to make in order to get back and stay for good.
  • Is it time for the hope wood pitches hard tomorrow comments?
  • Not quite. But if he gets a start in Boston on Patriots Day, it would be morning wood. I think we all know how hard that can be.
  • Unobjective homerism is fun and all, but not meaningful analysis.
  • Finally, please, for the sake of the children, never say the phrase “splash the cash” again. Every time you say that phrase, a kitten is swallowed up by the earth right in front of her child owner, who has no friends aside for that kitten.
  • I know it won’t happen, but I hope enough fans are patient enough that he’s allowed to struggle and adjust without too much pressure.
  • I have high hopes for this week’s ode as well.

Lizard

  • When your worst case scenario is sending a 22 year old player back to Triple A for a half season to work on a pitch recognition and plate approach refinement, you’re in pretty good shape.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to cap’n obvious, Jim Jones, and Josh Cornwall for their first 2014 in-season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here. Except for Jim. He’s not particularly welcome.

MVL

  • Congratulations to jswanson and Seymour Butts, our co-Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time! Thank you for giving us so many laughs!

Top 10 of the 2014 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Doc Raker
3. Seymour Butts
4. Eddie Von White
5. Joe Aiello
6. Dork
7. Doug S.
8. Chuck
9. Noah Eisner
10. Mark From Toronto
10. Sean Powell

Chit Chat

Which would you rather, and why?
a.) A 2015 team which is in the playoff race all season long with no assurance of post season appearance or success
or
b.) A mediocre 2015 team but a guaranteed playoff spot in 2016?
(Yes I am aware this is fiction. Just trying to see how hungry you are, or if you’d be willing to sit through another season of boredom if the 2016 payoff was guaranteed good.)

  • Seymour Butts

    I’d like to thank the lowest common denominator, the source of all good grade school humor.

  • Seymour Butts

    I’d like to thank the lowest common denominator, the source of all good grade school humor.

  • PLCB3

    Stumper:
    Greg Maddux won every NL pitcher Gold Glove from 1990-2008 except 1.
    What year did he not win, and who won it that year? Do not look it up
    and then post the answer. 2 hints:

    1. He was a teammate of Maddux when it happened
    2. It was not Glavine or Smoltz

    • cap’n obvious

      I believe it was Hampton, who won the silver slugger for NL pitchers that same year. I remember seeing that somewhere…

      • PLCB3

        It was Hampton. What year did he win it?

      • cap’n realist

        2003?2002?

  • AC0000000

    Stumper:
    Greg Maddux won every NL pitcher Gold Glove from 1990-2008 except 1.
    What year did he not win, and who won it that year? Do not look it up
    and then post the answer. 2 hints:

    1. He was a teammate of Maddux when it happened
    2. It was not Glavine or Smoltz

    • cap’n obvious

      I believe it was Hampton, who won the silver slugger for NL pitchers that same year. I remember seeing that somewhere…

      • AC0000000

        It was Hampton. What year did he win it?

      • cap’n realist

        2003?2002?

  • Doug S.

    I’ll take a.)
    Sounds like an entertaining season. I like entertainment.

  • Doug S.

    I’ll take a.)
    Sounds like an entertaining season. I like entertainment.

  • PLCB3

    On the 10 year anniversay of Maddux’s 300th win, Javier Baez has left the No Homers Club

    • Seymour Butts

      Twice… did you miss Tuesday’s game?

      • PLCB3

        It says No HomerS. We’re allowed to have one.

      • Seymour Butts

        I’m thinking tool here.

      • PLCB3

        This is what it’s from: Homer the Great
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homer_the_Great

        The kids at school formed a club called the No Homers Club and excluded Homer Simpson, pointing to the name of the club. Homer said but you let Homer Glumplich in. The founder said what I wrote in the above post that they can have 1. I got this from the MLB memes fb page when they had a graphic about players with no home runs and finally leaving the club when they go yard. If you’re going to use that episode, you have to do it right. You don’t leave the club until you go yard 2x. Therefore Baez did not leave it until today.

      • Seymour Butts

        I yield to your greater Simpsons wisdom.

      • PLCB3

        So we could call this the Homer Glumplich tool?

  • AC0000000

    On the 10 year anniversay of Maddux’s 300th win, Javier Baez has left the No Homers Club

    • Seymour Butts

      Twice… did you miss Tuesday’s game?

      • AC0000000

        It says No HomerS. We’re allowed to have one.

      • Seymour Butts

        I’m thinking tool here.

      • AC0000000

        This is what it’s from: Homer the Great
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homer_the_Great

        The kids at school formed a club called the No Homers Club and excluded Homer Simpson, pointing to the name of the club. Homer said but you let Homer Glumplich in. The founder said what I wrote in the above post that they can have 1. I got this from the MLB memes fb page when they had a graphic about players with no home runs and finally leaving the club when they go yard. If you’re going to use that episode, you have to do it right. You don’t leave the club until you go yard 2x. Therefore Baez did not leave it until today.

      • Seymour Butts

        I yield to your greater Simpsons wisdom.

      • AC0000000

        So we could call this the Homer Glumplich tool?

  • Dork

    I would much rather be in the conversation in 2015. I think we will be. I cant take this rebuild any longer.

  • Dork

    I would much rather be in the conversation in 2015. I think we will be. I cant take this rebuild any longer.

  • Seymour Butts

    How’s that sample size looking now, Cap?

    • cap’n obvious

      Did you see the game? These are Coors Canaveral altitude jobs. Think Dante Bichette. Let’s all just agree to see where he is come October. Sheesh…a coupla jacks off 2 terrible pitchers and you’re printing World Series tickets. He has a quick bat, I admit, but there are holes everywhere in that swing…to clarify, I hope I’m wrong, I just don’t see him being a dominant offensive force for many years like you all do…

      • Seymour Butts

        I did see the last half of the game including all 3 HRs. I will admit the 2nd Baez HR may not have left other yards, but the first did. BA up to .286 I believe.

      • Dork

        It has been a long 3 years and finally something to get excited about, why throw cold water on it? Just live it as long as it lasts. The wind blows out at wrigley once in a while.

      • Eddie Von White

        Our confidence level suddenly shot through the thin Colorado air and all of a sudden we’re printing World Series tickets…Think of the level of confidence Javy must have right about now.

  • Seymour Butts

    How’s that sample size looking now, Cap?

    • cap’n obvious

      Did you see the game? These are Coors Canaveral altitude jobs. Think Dante Bichette. Let’s all just agree to see where he is come October. Sheesh…a coupla jacks off 2 terrible pitchers and you’re printing World Series tickets. He has a quick bat, I admit, but there are holes everywhere in that swing…to clarify, I hope I’m wrong, I just don’t see him being a dominant offensive force for many years like you all do…

      • Seymour Butts

        I did see the last half of the game including all 3 HRs. I will admit the 2nd Baez HR may not have left other yards, but the first was a rope. BA up to .286 I believe.

      • Dork

        It has been a long 3 years and finally something to get excited about, why throw cold water on it? Just live it as long as it lasts. The wind blows out at wrigley once in a while.

      • Eddie Von White

        Our confidence level suddenly shot through the thin Colorado air and all of a sudden we’re printing World Series tickets…Think of the level of confidence Javy must have right about now.

  • Doug S.

    With Hendricks and Baez having the games they did today, it’s an exciting time for cubs fans

  • Doug S.

    With Hendricks and Baez having the games they did today, it’s an exciting time for cubs fans

  • Jerry in Wisconsin

    I want it all let’s sign Scherzer and Lester and start going to World Series starting in 2015 and ending sometime after 2025.

    • Eddie Von White

      Amen bro. Amen

  • Jerry in Wisconsin

    I want it all let’s sign Scherzer and Lester and start going to World Series starting in 2015 and ending sometime after 2025.

    • Eddie Von White

      Amen bro. Amen

  • Mark_from_Toronto

    I’d go with (A). I’m not so sure this team will make the playoffs next season, but I do think they will be a definite improvement over this year (it really can’t get any worse than 0.0% playoff odds). If they make some moves in the offseason to get at least one or two more starting pitchers they should be a decent ball club again.

  • Mark_from_Toronto

    I’d go with (A). I’m not so sure this team will make the playoffs next season, but I do think they will be a definite improvement over this year (it really can’t get any worse than 0.0% playoff odds). If they make some moves in the offseason to get at least one or two more starting pitchers they should be a decent ball club again.

  • Doc Raker

    What gives me hope is that the Cubs seem to be playing better after the trades of established veterans and bringing up their young prospects. In years past the Cubs have took a lot of losses after the trade deadline. This year they seem to be getting better after the trade deadline. Coors field or not Capn, this young Cubs team has a bright future, better wear shades.

    We can argue about how each prospect projects but I think it is hard to argue against the path of the front office. Obviously there is more to do but the fruits of the rebuild are starting to finally taste sweet.

  • Doc Raker

    What gives me hope is that the Cubs seem to be playing better after the trades of established veterans and bringing up their young prospects. In years past the Cubs have took a lot of losses after the trade deadline. This year they seem to be getting better after the trade deadline. Coors field or not Capn, this young Cubs team has a bright future, better wear shades.

    We can argue about how each prospect projects but I think it is hard to argue against the path of the front office. Obviously there is more to do but the fruits of the rebuild are starting to finally taste sweet.

  • Chuck

    I’d go with B. I am a patient person and any time you get into the playoffs you have a chance to win it all. They would just have to get hot at the right time.

  • Chuck

    I’d go with B. I am a patient person and any time you get into the playoffs you have a chance to win it all. They would just have to get hot at the right time.