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May 2014

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COMMENTS

All-Galaxy Team Member signed by Reds

Written by , Posted in General

I have a very strange mind…I have no problem confessing to that fact.

My mind is a muddled labyrinth of trivial (useless?) information.  Sports facts and pop culture material make up the vast majority of data that inhabits my brain.  This helps immensely when embarking on a creative project (writing a book) but is useless with more practical tasks. (Like putting ANYTHING together)

For this reason, I encounter constant triggers; a particular situation reminds me of a film, I use movie lines constantly throughout the day, and a sports thought will enter every few seconds.  While perusing and consuming sports information this week, I encountered an old trigger; pitcher Jair Jurrjens.

Jair Jurrjens was signed this week to a minor league deal by the Cincinnati Reds. Jurrjens, who is still only 28, had three very good years for the Atlanta Braves, and was an All-Star as recently as 2011.  Yet, Jair Jurrjen’s pitching ability has never intrigued me.  What attracted me to Jair Jurrjens …was his name.

The very first time I read the name “Jair Jurrjens” an immediate connection entered my mind…Star Wars! The name Jair Jurrjens appeared like it could have been lifted directly from any of the six Star Wars films…either from the original trilogy (golden and glorious!) or the prequels (a very rusty bronze). I imagined Jair Jurrjens as a blaster wielding space mercenary, a wise-old Jedi, or even (yuck!) a Gungan.

Jair Jurrjens inspired me to examine other MLB names and to blog about my first ever All-Galaxy team, consisting of Major Leaguers whose monikers would fit nicely in George Lucas’ expansive Star Wars Universe.   Upon seeing Mr. Jurrjens name this week, I decided to update my team with current MLB players.  Thus I present my updated version of the MLB All-Galaxy team:

…a long time ago,

in a league far, far away…

 

PLAYER                     POS/TEAM                          COMMENTS                                               

Yordano Ventura   P/KCR                        “Y” names are common in Lucas-world

Ivan Nova                 P/NYY                        probably a Jedi, possible bounty-hunter

JA Happ                     P/TOR            swashbuckler “Solo” type space pirate

Ian Krol                     P/WAS           doesn’t “the Krol Galaxy” sound right?

Yu Darvish                P/TEX             first and last names work in Star Wars Universe

Joba Chamberlain  P/DET                        Jo-Ba…combined with Richard, Wilt and Neville

Jhoulys Chacin        P/COL                        Do you know how to pronounce that first name?

Michael Wacha       P/STL             What is a Wacha? Just sounds like it’s something

Koji Uehera              P/BOS                        Yes, Asian names works well…blame Lucas

Kyle Kendrick          P/PHI             lots of alliteration in Star Wars, like Kyle Kataran

Jair Jurrjens             P/CIN             will always be on the team in some capacity

Yan Gomes               C/CLE             short “Y” name…could be an alien

Yasmani Grandal    C/SDP                        Gosh…does he sound like a wise old Jedi!

Edwin Encarncion  1B/TOR         probably works at Bespin Cloud City with Lando

Dan Uggla                 2B/ATL          possible member of Trade Federation

Troy Tulowitzki       SS/COL          space hero… last name sounds like a gun

Yangervis Solarte   3B/NYY          just admire it…no comments necessary

Torii Hunter             OF/DET         take note of the unnecessary extra “i”

Yasiel Puig                OF/LAD         the “Puigs” sound like a race, like the “Hutts

Shin-Soo Choo        OF/TEX          once again, blame Lucas

Dayan Viciedo         OF/CHW       Dayan is a Jedi name, with Dark Side potential

Jedd Gyorko                        IF/SD              two “d’s” and last name sounds like a space lizard

Erick Aybar              IF/LAA           close to Ackbar, and weird “k” at end of Eric

Josmil Pinto              DH/MIN        many possibilities, but I will go with a young Jedi

Lucas Duda              1B/NYM        lives in Tatooine desert, likes power-converters

That makes up a functional 25 man roster…and it would truly be a pretty good team! Just for fun, here are some names that just missed the cut:

CC Sabathia, Wei Yin Chen, Vidal Nuno, Brock Holt, Yunel Escobar, Rajai Davis, Nori Aoki, Chris Colabello, John Jaso, Coco Crisp, CJ Cron, Kevin Kouzmanoff, Mat(1 “t”) Gamel, JP Arencibia, Tanner Roark, Chase Utley, Hunter Pence, Cole Hamels, Reid Brignac and DiDi Gregorius.

Yes, my level of Star Wars Geekdom is very high, but please don’t judge me as I am just as adept in my knowledge of manly tough-guy sports.  I wish not to offend anyone who may share these names with said players…if you do, I am envious! I would love a cool name like Skywalker, Han Solo or Dayan. As far as any cultural offense taken…blame Lucas.

Now…what would the team be called? The Tatooine Tusken Raiders? The Hoth Wampas? Kamino Cloners?

Okay…too much of my Star Wars nerd-side is showing again. How about the Cubs beating Tanaka? Boy, Hammel and EJax are really pitching well! Rizzo and Castro look great! Wait a minute…Starlin! How could I miss that?

Next team maybe…

  • PLCB3

    Have you ever been to Disney world for Star Wars weekend, Chris? It’s going on right now.

  • AC0000000

    Have you ever been to Disney world for Star Wars weekend, Chris? It’s going on right now.

  • ConfusedCub

    Why in the hell is this an actual article on this website?

    • Dusty_Baylor

      Perhaps so as to not constantly bitch about how bad the Cubs are this season?

    • Doug S.

      A very diverse Cubs site with other topics ranging from food to fitness, personal grooming to star wars, musical preferences and spreadsheets. I’m bracing for what’s next.

    • We bore easily.

  • ConfusedCub

    Why in the hell is this an actual article on this website?

    • Dusty_Baylor

      Perhaps so as to not constantly bitch about how bad the Cubs are this season?

    • Doug S.

      A very diverse Cubs site with other topics ranging from food to fitness, personal grooming to star wars, musical preferences and spreadsheets. I’m bracing for what’s next.

    • We bore easily.

  • This is definitely not retarded at all.

    • Eddie Von White

      It is what it is.

    • Seymour Butts

      We need to quit wasting time on star wars themes and get back to our basic premise… dick jokes.

      • That’s a funny name…who is he?

  • This is definitely not retarded at all.

    • Eddie Von White

      It is what it is.

    • Seymour Butts

      We need to quit wasting time on star wars themes and get back to our basic premise… dick jokes.

      • That’s a funny name…who is he?

  • PLCB3

    In real news, Ricketts is finally getting mean with the rooftop owners.

  • AC0000000

    In real news, Ricketts is finally getting mean with the rooftop owners.

    • cap’n obvious

      I’ll be interested when he finally gets mean with Theo.

      • AC0000000

        So Theo should be canned after just 3 years?

  • BBCG: 105 Reasons

    Yes, yes, a bit nerdy and irrelevant…

  • BBCG: 105 Reasons

    Yes, yes, a bit nerdy and irrelevant…

  • Ben

    I liked it when you guys posted everyday about stuff that actually mattered about the cubs not this stars wars theme stuff who cares post about the cubs pls

    • PLCB3

      I suggest you read cubs.com then if you want Cubs 24/7. Most blogs/forums that team themed are not devoted to the team 24/7. They usually have discussions about matters in the rest of the league, other sports leagues, and non-sports discussions as well.

  • Ben

    I liked it when you guys posted everyday about stuff that actually mattered about the cubs not this stars wars theme stuff who cares post about the cubs pls

    • AC0000000

      I suggest you read cubs.com then if you want Cubs 24/7. Most blogs/forums that team themed are not devoted to the team 24/7. They usually have discussions about matters in the rest of the league, other sports leagues, and non-sports discussions as well.

  • PLCB3

    I’m the exact same way as you, Chris. I have a lot of triggers in my brain too, and certain events will remind me of movies or the Simpsons.

    • Doc Raker

      Just keep your finger off the trigger CAPS

  • AC0000000

    I’m the exact same way as you, Chris. I have a lot of triggers in my brain too, and certain events will remind me of movies or the Simpsons.

    • Doc Raker

      Just keep your finger off the trigger CAPS

  • PLCB3

    So Theo should be canned after just 3 years?

  • Doc Raker

    What are they serving in this galaxy? Do they have Subways so Seymour can visit? Do they have Chrissy Ruths so I can visit? Han Solo batch cooked gweek eggs in the prequel to the sequel before a long long time ago after the future?

  • Doc Raker

    What are they serving in this galaxy? Do they have Subways so Seymour can visit? Do they have Chrissy Ruths so I can visit? Han Solo batch cooked gweek eggs in the prequel to the sequel before a long long time ago after the future?

  • Chuck

    Do you happen to play X-Wing? I just started and it is a lot of fun and easy to learn.

  • Chuck

    Do you happen to play X-Wing? I just started and it is a lot of fun and easy to learn.

  • Doc Raker

    A couple of interesting numbers. Smarja leads the league in ERA, 1.46, but has no wins in 10 starts. Veras has an ERA of 12.96 which means his outing that blew the Yankee game on Wednesday was a better than average outing since he only gave up 1 earned run and 1 unearned run.

    Smarja is going to get more recognition for this historic record of bad luck than if he had won all of his games. I think the Cubs should keep him since they will be World Series contenders as soon as those studs in Teenneessee come up to the bigs.

    • Sean Powell

      and yet, people still argue that pitcher wins are a good measure of a pitcher’s quality. Rondon would have gotten the win after blowing the save the other night if the Cubs had scored in the bottom of the 9th.

      • Doc Raker

        Isn’t that ridiculous. I think the win should go to the pitcher that pitched the most innings effectively. A guy pitches 7 scoreless innings and leaves the ballgame tied 0-0, multiple relievers pitch innings 8 and 9, the team wins in the 9th and the win goes to the last guy who threw a pitch? ridiculous

      • PLCB3

        How about the fact that the pitcher will also get the loss even when he gives up less runs than his team scored. He leaves down 1-0, the bullpen gives up 3 runs, and then his team loses 4-3. The starting pitcher gave up 1 run but gets the loss because he was the pitcher who gave up the run that put his team behind.

      • Doc Raker

        ridiculous

      • PLCB3

        But now if his team ties it at say 3-3, the starter is off the hook and the guy who gives up run 4 loses. Why can’t the guy who gives up run 4 be the loser when he puts his team down 4-0?

    • Doug S.

      Sounds good Doc. Pretty sure he’s getting plenty of recognition right now from plenty of teams.

      • Doc Raker

        Most probably correct.

  • Doc Raker

    A couple of interesting numbers. Smarja leads the league in ERA, 1.46, but has no wins in 10 starts. Veras has an ERA of 12.96 which means his outing that blew the Yankee game on Wednesday was a better than average outing since he only gave up 1 earned run and 1 unearned run.

    Smarja is going to get more recognition for this historic record of bad luck than if he had won all of his games. I think the Cubs should keep him since they will be World Series contenders as soon as those studs in Teenneessee come up to the bigs.

    • Sean Powell

      and yet, people still argue that pitcher wins are a good measure of a pitcher’s quality. Rondon would have gotten the win after blowing the save the other night if the Cubs had scored in the bottom of the 9th.

      • Doc Raker

        Isn’t that ridiculous. I think the win should go to the pitcher that pitched the most innings effectively. A guy pitches 7 scoreless innings and leaves the ballgame tied 0-0, multiple relievers pitch innings 8 and 9, the team wins in the 9th and the win goes to the last guy who threw a pitch? ridiculous

      • AC0000000

        How about the fact that the pitcher will also get the loss even when he gives up less runs than his team scored. He leaves down 1-0, the bullpen gives up 3 runs, and then his team loses 4-3. The starting pitcher gave up 1 run but gets the loss because he was the pitcher who gave up the run that put his team behind.

      • Doc Raker

        ridiculous

      • AC0000000

        But now if his team ties it at say 3-3, the starter is off the hook and the guy who gives up run 4 loses. Why can’t the guy who gives up run 4 be the loser when he puts his team down 4-0?

    • Doug S.

      Sounds good Doc. Pretty sure he’s getting plenty of recognition right now from plenty of teams.

      • Doc Raker

        Most probably correct.

  • Doc Raker

    Kris Bryant hit his 13th home run. I don’t know what he would eat in the galaxy or if he would make a good galaxy player but I hope he will make a great big league player for the Chicago Cubs. Does he dine on smoked meats in the Smokie Mountains? I would.

  • Doc Raker

    Kris Bryant hit his 13th home run. I don’t know what he would eat in the galaxy or if he would make a good galaxy player but I hope he will make a great big league player for the Chicago Cubs. Does he dine on smoked meats in the Smokie Mountains? I would.