View From The Bleachers

Talking Cubs Baseball Since 2003

Thursday

17

April 2014

69

COMMENTS

GirlieView (04/17/2014)

Written by , Posted in General

GirlieView Definitions
  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2014 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)
As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies
  • There is just something that gets me excited when I hear the words “blue drizzle”.
  • Emilio Bonifacio needs to know how sorry I have for having said anything bad about him when we signed him
  • Themed fried dough is the best type of fried dough.
  • The Cubs were apparently waiting for Lizzie to start the season.
  • First Lizzie in almost a year. I’m turnin this franchise around.
  • Wash your hair, Bill.
  • A word of warning, multiple vigorous scrubbings of some areas of the body can lead to addiction.
  • Ricketts is selling, let’s take up a collection and buy the Cubs. Anyone got a billion sitting around?
  • Please tell me that I’m not the only one that is ridiculously excited that Cubs baseball is back.
  • And please tell me I’m not the only one who is… concerned about the RISP problem.
  • We are only 2 out of first and 2 out of the wild card, we are still in contention as predicted.
  • It didn’t sound like let’s go Cubbies, it sounded like 34,000 teeth chattering.
  • 34,000 teeth. Most adults have 32, but if you apply the state of Illinois deliverance factor of .9 (pretty good, by the way) that equals ~1180 fans. Seemed like more. For contrast 34,000 teeth at Busch ~ 1800 fans.
  • 34,000 teeth at Busch equal 38,000 fans.
  • Maybe we can all pitch in and get you a broader Sharpie.
  • I blame Jswan, He went with the triangle mouth and then ditched it, and things went downhill from there.
  • Joe’s soft pop rock jam of the day selections aren’t afraid to explore matters of the heart.
  • I didn’t know he had such a tender side.
  • About the only circumstance where it seems too long is watching a game on TV doing absolutely nothing else. If that is how you watch anything, get off your lard ass and do something.
  • Any coach or manager who comes on to the field to discuss something with a player, must forfeit 1 inch of any bodily appendage for each trip. This will make sure these are really important. A manager must retire when he has been whittled away.
  • Did you mean to say what we should expect from Bonafacio, or what we would accept?
  • Did we wet the bed or Schlitt the bed?
  • Chin up, Wes.
  • Perhaps Wright’s nine day absence was due his strong resemblance to a bat boy.
  • Maybe JCPenny had jean shorts on clearance. You never know. Speaking of jorts, would somebody go find our Johnsons…this is getting concerning.
  • I know where my Johnson is.
  • It’s just like American Express…I don’t leave home without it.
  • Somebody should make a website about this stuff. I bet somebody would use something like that.
  • Agreed. It’s a chore calculating this stuff by hand with my abacus.
  • I’ll fax you my slide rule guy’s number.
  • My fax paper is all out. Can you Morse code it to me?
  • My tapper arm broke off my Morse machine…I hope my carrier pigeon makes it through Appalacians.
Lizard
  • What do you say to a White Sox fan who has bad breath? … Go brush your tooth.
Shout Outs
  • Big shout outs to Jerry in Wisconsin and Katie (coincidentally also in Wisconsin) for their first 2014-season Lizzies this week! Hugs and kisses!
MVL
  • Congratulations to jswanson, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! You rock!
Top 10 of the 2014 Season (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Joe Aiello
2. Seymour Butts
4. Doc Raker
4. Eddie Von White
6. Chet West
6. LVCubFan
6. Sean Powell
9. Chris Neitzel
9. Darlin Starlin
9. Doug S.
9. Jerry in Wisconsin
9. Katie

Chit Chat

Who is your favorite Cub right now? (25-man roster)

 

  • PLCB3

    All right another thing to make me happy this week!
    Monday:
    VFTB Podcast
    Mailed my tax return in for a hefty refund
    Great weather
    Tuesday:
    Joined a new gym
    Listening to said VFTB Podcast
    Wednesday:
    Pay day
    Zumba class
    Thursday:
    GirlieView
    Hitting machine Emilio Bonifacio is my favorite Cub right now.

    • Chuck

      Tuesday: Sent Obama his pound of flesh and my first born. He rules the midnight air. The destroyer.

      • PLCB3

        I’m sorry that you owe.

      • PLCB3

        He did his taxes over a year ago

    • I’m surprised you waited a day to get your Zumba on.

      • PLCB3

        Zumba isn’t offered on Tuesday. Only Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

    • Joe Aiello

      So on Monday, just the thought that there is a VFTB podcast was what made you happy, since you listed that listening to it was on Tuesday?

      • PLCB3

        Because I can’t download it until after I get home from work and the gym, it makes me happy, because what I do on Monday (or anytime there is a post on this site with audio, since you said the feed will pull all audio clips off blog posts), is I open up iTunes to download the podcast. I then plug my iPod into my computer so that I have it on my iPod, which I then listen to while driving/working out. That’s why when you first set this up, I send you those emails asking how to access it so I would be ready to roll once the first episode was done.

    • Eddie Von White

      I reset my mental calendar to coincide with GirlieView every other Thursday.

      • PLCB3

        It’s even better for me because payday is always the day before

  • AC0000000

    All right another thing to make me happy this week!
    Monday:
    VFTB Podcast
    Mailed my tax return in for a hefty refund
    Great weather
    Tuesday:
    Joined a new gym
    Listening to said VFTB Podcast
    Wednesday:
    Pay day
    Zumba class
    Thursday:
    GirlieView
    Hitting machine Emilio Bonifacio is my favorite Cub right now.

    • Chuck

      Tuesday: Sent Obama his pound of flesh and my first born. He rules the midnight air. The destroyer.

      • AC0000000

        I’m sorry that you owe.

      • AC0000000

        He did his taxes over a year ago

      • Tomas Checkosky

        Chuck! Awesome use of a Metallica lyric!

      • AC0000000

        Taxes!? Isn’t this the line for Metallica!?

      • Chuck

        I can’t complain too much. My wife and I make a pretty good living so we need to pay our fair share. My only complaint is that when I don’t even claim half my deductions on my W-4, I still have to pay at the end of the year. I should get a refund or at least break even.

      • AC0000000

        “When I don’t even claim half my deductions on my W-4, I still have to pay at the end of the year.”

        Why aren’t you taking all the deductions you’re entitled to?

        I don’t have a house or student loans or a job where I am making enough to be able to itemize, so I only get the standard deduction and the personal exemption. But since I moved to Boston in 2013, I get to write off the move. Combined with mileage and the hotels I stayed in until I found a place to stay, I got to knock off 650 bucks.

      • Chuck

        Because if I claimed all my deductions on my W-4, I would have to pay more at the end of the year. The W-4 just determines how much is withheld from your check. It has zero bearing on your final tally.

      • AC0000000

        I’m stupid. The W-4 is the tax form you fill out when you start the job. Despite working and paying taxes for 8 years now, I have only done this process 5 times in my entire life. I guess it would be different if you were married and had kids. What do you and your wife do for work? Couldn’t you just ask for more money to be withheld? My last 2 years at Domino’s, the payroll manager sent a memo saying that there would be no federal taxes withheld from hourly employees checks due to low pay amounts, but we could request withholding. I had started lifeguarding at this time, so I asked them to withhold federal taxes, saying that I am working other jobs.

      • Chuck

        My wife is a teacher and I am an environmental consultant. I help companies (and sometimes municipalities) obtain, and stay in compliance with, air permits. I have been doing this for about 20 years.

      • AC0000000

        My uncle’s company here in Boston rents office space from an environmental consulting company, EBI. I’ve had some camping trips with a friend who lives in Springfield and his dad used to do business with the company, and one of the guys I met on the trips worked at EBI before retiring.

      • Eddie Von White

        I agree. Give to God what is God’s, give to Caesar what is Caesar’s. But enough is enough already. Since taking office our president has proposed 442 tax increases – not including the ACA.

      • AC0000000

        When I filled out my MA state taxes, I had to include a schedule HC for my health insurance coverage. I called the MA DOR to find out what to do since I am on my parent’s coverage, they said to get the policy ID number and the provider ID number. I called my provider to get their ID number and they said we can’t give that out over the phone. What a crock of BS. I need it to put it on my tax forms. And the guy I spoke with on the phone at DOR was like people are going to have to do this in every state when they do their taxes next year because Obamacare kicks in. So how are all these people supposed to get their provider ID number if they won’t give it to you?

      • Chuck

        I was wondering who among us would get the reference. To me, Metallica broke up after the Black Album and never returned. …and Justice for All is my favorite album by them. An absolute masterpiece.

    • I’m surprised you waited a day to get your Zumba on.

      • AC0000000

        Zumba isn’t offered on Tuesday. Only Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

    • Joe Aiello

      So on Monday, just the thought that there is a VFTB podcast was what made you happy, since you listed that listening to it was on Tuesday?

      • AC0000000

        Because I can’t download it until after I get home from work and the gym, it makes me happy, because what I do on Monday (or anytime there is a post on this site with audio, since you said the feed will pull all audio clips off blog posts), is I open up iTunes to download the podcast. I then plug my iPod into my computer so that I have it on my iPod, which I then listen to while driving/working out. That’s why when you first set this up, I send you those emails asking how to access it so I would be ready to roll once the first episode was done.

    • Eddie Von White

      I reset my mental calendar to coincide with GirlieView every other Thursday.

      • AC0000000

        It’s even better for me because payday is always the day before

  • Eddie Von White

    My favorite Cub right now is Ricky Renteria.

  • Eddie Von White

    My favorite Cub right now is Ricky Renteria.

  • Drinks on Raker!

    I’d go with Rizzo, for looking like a real first baseman.

    • Doc Raker

      MVL buys the drinks Meat! Bushmill’s rocks please.

  • Drinks on Raker!

    I’d go with Rizzo, for looking like a real first baseman.

    • Doc Raker

      MVL buys the drinks Meat! Bushmill’s rocks please.

  • Doc Raker

    Since the Cubs haven’t had a real leadoff hitter since Bobby Denier, other than 4 months of Kenny Lofton in 2003, I would say Bonafacio.

    Where is your Zumba class CAPS? That would be one heck of a Lizzie, a video clip of you doing Zumba. It might be hard to hold my lunch down but I am sure it would be amusing either way.

    • PLCB3

      How are you going to ship up to Boston to film me in class?

      • Joe Aiello

        We can send Tommy. He’d love the assignment

      • PLCB3

        Not this crap again.

      • You led to the Chris Hanson-ing of a blind perv via a Cubs blog…wear that with pride, CAPS.

    • PLCB3

      You don’t consider 2007-2008 Soriano to be a leadoff hitter? He is not your prototype leadoff hitter, but he did provide a spark at the top of the order.

      • Chuck

        Shawon Dunston hit leadoff for a while. That does not make him a “leadoff hitter” in my book. It just means that either 1) the manager was an idiot or 2) somebody has to hit leadoff and the Cubs had no better options.

      • PLCB3

        I know what he was getting at

      • Doc Raker

        Soriano was a running threat for 8 days with the Cubs. He pulled a hammy in his first April with the Cubs and never was a real running threat since. I don’t consider Soriano a real leadoff hitter for the Cubs since he couldn’t run.

        Watch out for Tommy and his camera.

      • PLCB3

        How about Juan Pierre in 2006 then? He could fly, but he didn’t have a good OBP for a leadoff hitter.

  • Doc Raker

    Since the Cubs haven’t had a real leadoff hitter since Bobby Denier, other than 4 months of Kenny Lofton in 2003, I would say Bonafacio.

    Where is your Zumba class CAPS? That would be one heck of a Lizzie, a video clip of you doing Zumba. It might be hard to hold my lunch down but I am sure it would be amusing either way.

    • AC0000000

      How are you going to ship up to Boston to film me in class?

      • Joe Aiello

        We can send Tommy. He’d love the assignment

      • AC0000000

        Not this crap again.

      • You led to the Chris Hanson-ing of a blind perv via a Cubs blog…wear that with pride, CAPS.

    • AC0000000

      You don’t consider 2007-2008 Soriano to be a leadoff hitter? He is not your prototype leadoff hitter, but he did provide a spark at the top of the order.

      • Chuck

        Shawon Dunston hit leadoff for a while. That does not make him a “leadoff hitter” in my book. It just means that either 1) the manager was an idiot or 2) somebody has to hit leadoff and the Cubs had no better options.

      • AC0000000

        I know what he was getting at

      • Doc Raker

        Soriano was a running threat for 8 days with the Cubs. He pulled a hammy in his first April with the Cubs and never was a real running threat since. I don’t consider Soriano a real leadoff hitter for the Cubs since he couldn’t run.

        Watch out for Tommy and his camera.

      • AC0000000

        How about Juan Pierre in 2006 then? He could fly, but he didn’t have a good OBP for a leadoff hitter. I want a leadoff hitter who can get on base. Speed in secondary. What good is it if you can’t get on base? Like Katie’s ex-boyfriend Campana. He can fly, but you can’t steal 1B.

  • PLCB3

    Taxes!? Isn’t this the line for Metallica!?

  • Chuck

    I can’t complain too much. My wife and I make a pretty good living so we need to pay our fair share. My only complaint is that when I don’t even claim half my deductions on my W-4, I still have to pay at the end of the year. I should get a refund or at least break even.

    • PLCB3

      “When I don’t even claim half my deductions on my W-4, I still have to pay at the end of the year.”

      Why aren’t you taking all the deductions you’re entitled to?

      I don’t have a house or student loans or a job where I am making enough to be able to itemize, so I only get the standard deduction and the personal exemption. But since I moved to Boston in 2013, I get to write off the move. Combined with mileage and the hotels I stayed in until I found a place to stay, I got to knock off 650 bucks.

      • Chuck

        Because if I claimed all my deductions on my W-4, I would have to pay more at the end of the year. The W-4 just determines how much is withheld from your check. It has zero bearing on your final tally.

      • PLCB3

        I’m stupid. The W-4 is the tax form you fill out when you start the job. Despite working and paying taxes for 8 years now, I have only done this process 5 times in my entire life. I guess it would be different if you were married and had kids. What do you and your wife do for work? Couldn’t you just ask for more money to be withheld? My last 2 years at Domino’s, the payroll manager sent a memo saying that there would be no federal taxes withheld from hourly employees checks due to low pay amounts, but we could request withholding. I had started lifeguarding at this time, so I asked them to withhold federal taxes, saying that I am working other jobs.

      • Chuck

        My wife is a teacher and I am an environmental consultant. I help companies (and sometimes municipalities) obtain, and stay in compliance with, air permits. I have been doing this for about 20 years.

      • PLCB3

        My uncle’s company here in Boston rents office space from an environmental consulting company, EBI. I’ve had some camping trips with a friend who lives in Springfield and his dad used to do business with the company, and one of the guys I met on the trips worked at EBI before retiring.

    • Eddie Von White

      I agree. Give to God what is God’s, give to Caesar what is Caesar’s. But enough is enough already. Since taking office our president has proposed 442 tax increases – not including the ACA.

      • PLCB3

        When I filled out my MA state taxes, I had to include a schedule HC for my health insurance coverage. I called the MA DOR to find out what to do since I am on my parent’s coverage, they said to get the policy ID number and the provider ID number. I called my provider to get their ID number and they said we can’t give that out over the phone. What a crock of BS. I need it to put it on my tax forms. And the guy I spoke with on the phone at DOR was like people are going to have to do this in every state when they do their taxes next year because Obamacare kicks in. So how are all these people supposed to get their provider ID number if they won’t give it to you?

  • Chuck

    I was wondering who among us would get the reference. To me, Metallica broke up after the Black Album and never returned. …and Justice for All is my favorite album by them. An absolute masterpiece.

  • Bill Fell

    I love me some Travis wood. Just the prototypical left handed pitcher. Controls the run game well, pitches to both sides of the plate. Is athletic and can field his position. He does all the right things as a pitcher, but can also ram some in the bleachers.
    My hair is fine as it is.

  • Bill Fell

    I love me some Travis wood. Just the prototypical left handed pitcher. Controls the run game well, pitches to both sides of the plate. Is athletic and can field his position. He does all the right things as a pitcher, but can also ram some in the bleachers.
    My hair is fine as it is.