View From The Bleachers

Talking Cubs Baseball Since 2003

Thursday

20

March 2014

73

COMMENTS

GirlieView (03/20/2014)

Written by , Posted in General

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • I hope you advised Jeff to cut his obnoxious hair. I fear it is going to get in the way of his fastball.
  • You just have to get back to fundamentals and keep hacking, something has to fall in, a bloop, a duck snort, seeing eye ground ball or maybe you square one up for the 450 foot jack. It’s good to be back.
  • I don’t have a current favorite. I’d like to see who’s going to be here a couple of years before I get attached.
  • Prayers to Rich Hill and family.
  • The pen a strength? I look forward to it.
  • Whatever happened to that Carlos Gregg guy?
  • The Lincoln Park location is looking for an senior cheese application associate.
  • That position has a lot of holes in it.
  • Yeah, but there is still a lot of Dough in it.
  • Ever since they took the yoga mats out of the pizza dough, it’s just not the same.
  • Little Ceasars is the class of the industry. I know a saucie’r at Little Ceasars. Full benefits, retirement after 20 years, pension health plan, lots of dough.
  • Truly an upper crust eatery.
  • Speaking of single game tix. Braves series July at Wrigley, here I come.
  • next write up tell us where these ball players eat dinner and if they have ever dined with Seymour. And if they did dine with Seymour, did they hang themselves before the entrée came out of boredom.
  • No fatalities to date. I suppose I could use your method of bringing along a much more interesting brother to carry the conversation.
  • Olt and Villanueva are traded (in separate deals) to bring back pitching. They’ll get more value back in trade then they would from those guys coming off the bench.
  • Olt being with the Cubs alleviates a roster crunch in the upper minors, where there [are] legitimate third base prospects who need regular playing time at the position
  • Give Olt the spot out of the gate, slide Valbuena back in if things get ugly.
  • As a student of the game, I feel like the only logical choice is to give Steve Beuchele aka Uncle Joey from Full House a call. It’s worth a shot.
  • Cut. It. Out.
  • On Cubs Yo-Yo day will it come with an instructional DVD for the kids, so they know what the hell a Yo-Yo is?
  • Joe will randomly speak at times, and will ask extremely awkward questions to 7th inning stretch conductors…like inquiring if Jim McMahon had spoken recently with Pete Rozelle…who happened to be dead at the time. Uncomfortable fun for the whole family!
  • The Cindy Sandberg Viewmaster should be good as will be the Seymour Bobble Butt.
  • I got a bag of chips autographed by Seymour at the Mesa West Subway, store # 2,485,145.
  • are you having regular bowel movements?
  • Valbuena is a fine third baseman but not the spiciest option for the fan base.
  • How many wins do the Cubs get this year? I am going to sit right around 70.
  • 82 come on we are Cub fans.
  • 83, because I’m a better fan than Seymour
  • I’m changing my #5 answer to 84. (Emoticon with tongue sticking out)
  • 85 – why do I feel like I’ve just put in the losing bid on the Price is Right?
  • I think that a fifth of the roster is filler off the street.
  • Problem is that we have too many players already whose loftiest aspiration should be to one day graduate to street filler.
  • Any one of the 5’9″ utility men would make a fine representative.
  • Are you still trying to fit into the same size you wore in junior high school?
  • If you must know chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it is something unusual.

Lizard

  • I feel as though Theo and Jed go out of their way to make sure these guys are not brought up to the big club one day before they are beyond ready. I respect that, I am okay with that. Drives me crazy as a fan because the product on the field is, in a wishful world, a .500 team.

Shout Outs

  • Congratulations to Chris Neitzel and wow even John Winger! Both had their first off-season Lizzie this time around. Thanks for joining in!

MVL

  • Congratulations to jswanson, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Thanks for all the laughs!

Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Doc Raker
3. Seymour Butts
4. Eddie von White
5. Sean Powell
6. Joe Aiello
7. Doug S.
8. Noah
9. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Chet West

Chit Chat

So, after a whole lot of consideration and some very mixed emotions, we turned down Cubs Season Tickets this spring. Let’s see what you would do. Suppose you are being offered tickets this season, and you can choose anywhere in the stadium (this isn’t exactly how it works but we are pretending.) Pricing is as follows for a set of two tickets:

  • Get a nosebleed for $4,000.
  • Avoid a nosebleed for between $5,000 and $6,000.
  • Bleachers just over $6,000.
  • Sniff the infield from well above it for $6,000 to $10,000.
  • Field level $10,000 to $16,000.

And of course if you want to take friends along you have to buy more than two tickets. If you want to go alone you can cut the prices in half. What do you do? It’s really easy to say “Well of course I’d buy them!” But trust me when it actually happens there are many, many things to weigh. Two rules for our little game: You can’t split the cost among a group of friends and you have to buy this year. You can’t wait for them to start winning. Let’s hear what you’d do!

  • Doug S.

    I love baseball and love going to the live games, but I like to keep that event as special. 3 or 4 games in row is not a problem, but I think a 10 game home stand would be a bit much and it would start to lose it’s specialness. Somewhere between 1/4 and 1/2 season ticket would be good for me.

    • Mark_from_Toronto

      Have to agree with Doug on this. Being at a live game is a great experience, but I think it would lose it’s lustre for me if I was constantly at the ballpark. That along with the fact that it might get a little expensive commuting to Chicago from Toronto for every Cubs homegame (although there are several flights a day to Midway).

  • Doug S.

    I love baseball and love going to the live games, but I like to keep that event as special. 3 or 4 games in row is not a problem, but I think a 10 game home stand would be a bit much and it would start to lose it’s specialness. Somewhere between 1/4 and 1/2 season ticket would be good for me.

    • Mark_from_Toronto

      Have to agree with Doug on this. Being at a live game is a great experience, but I think it would lose it’s lustre for me if I was constantly at the ballpark. That along with the fact that it might get a little expensive commuting to Chicago from Toronto for every Cubs homegame (although there are several flights a day to Midway).

  • LVCubFan

    Even if I could go to 4-5 games a week, I wouldn’t drop $4,000 on the Cubs. I love what Thed is doing from building from the ground up, but when you invest more $ in the major league team, then I’d consider it. But with career and family commitments, I envy anyone who can attend that many games a week nowadays.

  • LVCubFan

    Even if I could go to 4-5 games a week, I wouldn’t drop $4,000 on the Cubs. I love what Thed is doing from building from the ground up, but when you invest more $ in the major league team, then I’d consider it. But with career and family commitments, I envy anyone who can attend that many games a week nowadays.

  • PLCB3

    If I could afford to buy the season tickets, I would plop down whatever the cost is for season tickets in the bleachers, however the deal works. (Such as how many do you have to buy, etc.) That way when the Cubs start playing good again, I will be able to get a return on my investment by selling the tickets I don’t use.

  • AC0000000

    If I could afford to buy the season tickets, I would plop down whatever the cost is for season tickets in the bleachers, however the deal works. (Such as how many do you have to buy, etc.) That way when the Cubs start playing good again, I will be able to get a return on my investment by selling the tickets I don’t use.

  • LVCubFan

    BTW, watching Javy Baez’s home runs each morning this week is the epitome of baseball porn.

  • LVCubFan

    BTW, watching Javy Baez’s home runs each morning this week is the epitome of baseball porn.

  • Doc Raker

    Hey John Winger welcome to the View. That was one witty comment you made to get your very first Lizzie with your very first comment. That might be a VFTB record, kinda like Starlin Castro hitting a home run in his first AB or Tuffy Rhodes hitting 3 jacks on opening day. I hope you go on to having a better VFTB career than Tuffy did with the Cubs. Sorry to hear about Russell Ziskey. Do you keep in touch with Dewey Oxburger?

    • John WInger

      Thanks, I miss Russell. Dewey and I see each other every now and then. He went vegetarian a few months ago so we don’t get together as much. We used to hang at the Steak and Chop but I just can’t hang at the vegan eateries, I get so hungry so quickly if all I eat is vegan. Dewey will most probably fall off the vegan wagon soon enough and we will head back to the Steak and Chop for a bone in rib eye medium rare. Well, off to get a $20 shoe shine on my $3 shoes.

      • Doc Raker

        You two ever dine with S………………..oh never mind.

      • Doc Raker

        You ever have a pizza delivered by CAPS? He has gluten free crust which comes with a vegan pesto and goat cheese. I the more traditional with italian sausage.

      • PLCB3

        Goat cheese isn’t vegan. When I dormed in college, the cafeteria served vegan pizza. Except that the vegan pizza had milk in it. Just like they would make vegetarian minestrone with beef broth.

      • Doc Raker

        Why isn’t dairy vegan? You aren’t killing the animal to farm the dairy. Are most vegans lactose intolerant and have bad things happen to their innards when they eat dairy? Just another reason to keep eating meat, Meat.

      • PLCB3

        A vegan is someone who does not eat ANY animal products, including milk eggs and fish.
        A vegetarian still eats milk, eggs, fish.

      • My new favorite vegetable is fish.

      • PLCB3

        I’m eating a vegetarian lunch today: Fish, vegetables, and sweet potato.

      • Are you serious?

      • PLCB3

        This is my favorite meal to cook: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMcE21hhhXs
        And yes, I cook it shirtless too.

      • Doug S.

        I’ll take things I didn’t want to know for $500 please Alex.

      • PLCB3

        Answer: This internet personality likes to cook shirtless

      • No goddamned way… This is amazing..

      • PLCB3

        He also has a recipe for that without the fish:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLClNuM3tZg
        I like to cook scash as well. Shirtless.

      • Doc Raker

        They are having a tough time growing fish this season. I here fish is also difficult to harvest, because a fish grows in the ground and is soft and fleshy they can’t use machinery and have to pull up the fish by hand.

      • PLCB3

        My favorite pizza is deep dish with pepperoni, sausage, and spinach.

    • Seymour Butts

      A pseudonym? where ever did you get the idea?

      • PLCB3

        Joey TillyWinks?

      • John Winger

        Sgt. Hulka taught me that, he was our big toe back in basic training.

      • The Spatula

        Pretty sure you don’t have lunch with Ox much these days what with his demise and all.

      • Francis Psycho Soyer

        I miss Oxy.

  • Doc Raker

    Hey John Winger welcome to the View. That was one witty comment you made to get your very first Lizzie with your very first comment. That might be a VFTB record, kinda like Starlin Castro hitting a home run in his first AB or Tuffy Rhodes hitting 3 jacks on opening day. I hope you go on to having a better VFTB career than Tuffy did with the Cubs. Sorry to hear about Russell Ziskey. Do you keep in touch with Dewey Oxburger?

    • John WInger

      Thanks, I miss Russell. Dewey and I see each other every now and then. He went vegetarian a few months ago so we don’t get together as much. We used to hang at the Steak and Chop but I just can’t hang at the vegan eateries, I get so hungry so quickly if all I eat is vegan. Dewey will most probably fall off the vegan wagon soon enough and we will head back to the Steak and Chop for a bone in rib eye medium rare. Well, off to get a $20 shoe shine on my $3 shoes.

      • Doc Raker

        You ever have a pizza delivered by CAPS? He has gluten free crust which comes with a vegan pesto and goat cheese. I the more traditional with italian sausage.

      • AC0000000

        Goat cheese isn’t vegan. When I dormed in college, the cafeteria served vegan pizza. Except that the vegan pizza had milk in it. Just like they would make vegetarian minestrone with beef broth.

      • Doc Raker

        Why isn’t dairy vegan? You aren’t killing the animal to farm the dairy. Are most vegans lactose intolerant and have bad things happen to their innards when they eat dairy? Just another reason to keep eating meat, Meat.

      • AC0000000

        A vegan is someone who does not eat ANY animal products, including milk eggs and fish.
        A vegetarian still eats milk, eggs, fish.

      • My new favorite vegetable is fish.

      • AC0000000

        I’m eating a vegetarian lunch today: Fish, vegetables, and sweet potato.

      • Are you serious?

      • AC0000000

        This is my favorite meal to cook: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMcE21hhhXs
        And yes, I cook it shirtless too.

      • Doug S.

        I’ll take things I didn’t want to know for $500 please Alex.

      • AC0000000

        Answer: This internet personality likes to cook shirtless

      • No goddamned way… This is amazing..

      • AC0000000

        He also has a recipe for that without the fish:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLClNuM3tZg
        I like to cook scash as well. Shirtless.

      • Doc Raker

        They are having a tough time growing fish this season. I here fish is also difficult to harvest, because a fish grows in the ground and is soft and fleshy they can’t use machinery and have to pull up the fish by hand.

      • AC0000000

        My favorite pizza is deep dish with pepperoni, sausage, and spinach.

    • Seymour Butts

      A pseudonym? where ever did you get the idea?

      • AC0000000

        Joey TillyWinks?

      • John Winger

        Sgt. Hulka taught me that, he was our big toe back in basic training.

      • The Spatula

        Pretty sure you don’t have lunch with Ox much these days what with his demise and all.

      • Francis Psycho Soyer

        I miss Oxy.

  • PLCB3

    And speaking of selling Cubs tickets, I was looking on StubHub, opening day in the bleachers is 90 bucks on StubHub. On cubs.com it’s 70 bucks, but with fees, you pay 91. The next day, 30 bucks on cubs.com, 45 with fees. 15 on StubHub.

    • Doc Raker

      Does the $90 for bleacher tickets include a parka? I remember in 1989 I used to buy bleacher tickets for $5 and resell them for $20. Good times, the Cubs had a good team that year too.

      • PLCB3

        I wish it did. But I found out the Bulls are playing the same day. Go to the Cubs game, then go to the Bulls game. I did that in Miami once. Both teams were in town the same day. 45 bucks on StubHub for that one. So 150 bucks for 3 games to see the only Chicago teams I like.

  • AC0000000

    And speaking of selling Cubs tickets, I was looking on StubHub, opening day in the bleachers is 90 bucks on StubHub. On cubs.com it’s 70 bucks, but with fees, you pay 91. The next day, 30 bucks on cubs.com, 45 with fees. 15 on StubHub.

    • Doc Raker

      Does the $90 for bleacher tickets include a parka? I remember in 1989 I used to buy bleacher tickets for $5 and resell them for $20. Good times, the Cubs had a good team that year too.

      • AC0000000

        I wish it did. But I found out the Bulls are playing the same day. Go to the Cubs game, then go to the Bulls game. I did that in Miami once. Both teams were in town the same day. 45 bucks on StubHub for that one. So 150 bucks for 3 games to see the only Chicago teams I like.

  • Seymour Butts

    If I lived in Chicago and was either retired, or had enough free time to attend at least half the games, yes I would (and the expensive ones). But I agree with your decision as you are a couple of hundred miles away.

  • Seymour Butts

    If I lived in Chicago and was either retired, or had enough free time to attend at least half the games, yes I would (and the expensive ones). But I agree with your decision as you are a couple of hundred miles away.

  • Doug S.

    Well that didn’t take long. Blood on my bracket after the first game. Thanks Buckeyes.

    • PLCB3

      I’m mad too. I had them losing in the round of 32 anyways.

  • Doug S.

    Well that didn’t take long. Blood on my bracket after the first game. Thanks Buckeyes.

    • AC0000000

      I’m mad too. I had them losing in the round of 32 anyways.

  • Sandwiches on Seymour!

  • Sandwiches on Seymour!