GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • I hope you advised Jeff to cut his obnoxious hair. I fear it is going to get in the way of his fastball.
  • You just have to get back to fundamentals and keep hacking, something has to fall in, a bloop, a duck snort, seeing eye ground ball or maybe you square one up for the 450 foot jack. It’s good to be back.
  • I don’t have a current favorite. I’d like to see who’s going to be here a couple of years before I get attached.
  • Prayers to Rich Hill and family.
  • The pen a strength? I look forward to it.
  • Whatever happened to that Carlos Gregg guy?
  • The Lincoln Park location is looking for an senior cheese application associate.
  • That position has a lot of holes in it.
  • Yeah, but there is still a lot of Dough in it.
  • Ever since they took the yoga mats out of the pizza dough, it’s just not the same.
  • Little Ceasars is the class of the industry. I know a saucie’r at Little Ceasars. Full benefits, retirement after 20 years, pension health plan, lots of dough.
  • Truly an upper crust eatery.
  • Speaking of single game tix. Braves series July at Wrigley, here I come.
  • next write up tell us where these ball players eat dinner and if they have ever dined with Seymour. And if they did dine with Seymour, did they hang themselves before the entrée came out of boredom.
  • No fatalities to date. I suppose I could use your method of bringing along a much more interesting brother to carry the conversation.
  • Olt and Villanueva are traded (in separate deals) to bring back pitching. They’ll get more value back in trade then they would from those guys coming off the bench.
  • Olt being with the Cubs alleviates a roster crunch in the upper minors, where there [are] legitimate third base prospects who need regular playing time at the position
  • Give Olt the spot out of the gate, slide Valbuena back in if things get ugly.
  • As a student of the game, I feel like the only logical choice is to give Steve Beuchele aka Uncle Joey from Full House a call. It’s worth a shot.
  • Cut. It. Out.
  • On Cubs Yo-Yo day will it come with an instructional DVD for the kids, so they know what the hell a Yo-Yo is?
  • Joe will randomly speak at times, and will ask extremely awkward questions to 7th inning stretch conductors…like inquiring if Jim McMahon had spoken recently with Pete Rozelle…who happened to be dead at the time. Uncomfortable fun for the whole family!
  • The Cindy Sandberg Viewmaster should be good as will be the Seymour Bobble Butt.
  • I got a bag of chips autographed by Seymour at the Mesa West Subway, store # 2,485,145.
  • are you having regular bowel movements?
  • Valbuena is a fine third baseman but not the spiciest option for the fan base.
  • How many wins do the Cubs get this year? I am going to sit right around 70.
  • 82 come on we are Cub fans.
  • 83, because I’m a better fan than Seymour
  • I’m changing my #5 answer to 84. (Emoticon with tongue sticking out)
  • 85 – why do I feel like I’ve just put in the losing bid on the Price is Right?
  • I think that a fifth of the roster is filler off the street.
  • Problem is that we have too many players already whose loftiest aspiration should be to one day graduate to street filler.
  • Any one of the 5’9″ utility men would make a fine representative.
  • Are you still trying to fit into the same size you wore in junior high school?
  • If you must know chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it is something unusual.

Lizard

  • I feel as though Theo and Jed go out of their way to make sure these guys are not brought up to the big club one day before they are beyond ready. I respect that, I am okay with that. Drives me crazy as a fan because the product on the field is, in a wishful world, a .500 team.

Shout Outs

  • Congratulations to Chris Neitzel and wow even John Winger! Both had their first off-season Lizzie this time around. Thanks for joining in!

MVL

  • Congratulations to jswanson, our Most Valuable Lizzie-er this time! Thanks for all the laughs!

Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Doc Raker
3. Seymour Butts
4. Eddie von White
5. Sean Powell
6. Joe Aiello
7. Doug S.
8. Noah
9. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Chet West

Chit Chat

So, after a whole lot of consideration and some very mixed emotions, we turned down Cubs Season Tickets this spring. Let’s see what you would do. Suppose you are being offered tickets this season, and you can choose anywhere in the stadium (this isn’t exactly how it works but we are pretending.) Pricing is as follows for a set of two tickets:

  • Get a nosebleed for $4,000.
  • Avoid a nosebleed for between $5,000 and $6,000.
  • Bleachers just over $6,000.
  • Sniff the infield from well above it for $6,000 to $10,000.
  • Field level $10,000 to $16,000.

And of course if you want to take friends along you have to buy more than two tickets. If you want to go alone you can cut the prices in half. What do you do? It’s really easy to say “Well of course I’d buy them!” But trust me when it actually happens there are many, many things to weigh. Two rules for our little game: You can’t split the cost among a group of friends and you have to buy this year. You can’t wait for them to start winning. Let’s hear what you’d do!

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.