GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.


  • Here’s to Kottaras adding a bunt, bloop, flare, duck snort, cattle fart or texas leaguer to every 10 at bats to make the saber world quiver. OPA!
  • They are pretty reserved when it comes to duck snorts, due to the vagaries of ducks snorts snorted into the field of play.
  • Why does it worry me when I read “I think Cubs fans will realize quickly how good we had it last year”….???
  • Joe, just how large is your closet that you have all of these old scouting reports in them? Is there room for clothing?
  • I only wear a fig leaf.
  • Did I not tell you? I only wear a fig leaf. They take up little to no room in the closet. I went that route as the scouting reports began to pile up.
  • Happy 50th Birthday to Dr. Raker! On the downward slope to 100 now.
  • There is, of course, no fool like an old fool. Don’t forget to pack your Metamucil.
  • It’s riddled with discontentment and complaints over what we have, coupled with excessive whining over what we don’t have.
  • Fans of a team that simply are exhausted.
  • Did Shark steal your girlfriend at some point?
  • Maybe the Cubs should field a Japanese team. Then we would either win their championship or be a failure on two continents.
  • Stop. You had me at “Stick your hands in my sack and pull out a marble.”
  • Preceded by “Close your eyes.”
  • As so long as DB has developed an out-pitch this off-season, I’m fine with this move.
  • Dude is an OF.
  • Anything can happen when the hot stove is cooking with gas, Chuck.


  • Close your eyes. Stick your hands in my sack and pull out a marble.

Shout Outs

  • Congratulations to Chuck, Doug S, Jerry in Wisconsin, and Sherm for winning their first off-season Lizzies this time around.


  • Congratulations to Joe Aiello our Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time!

Top 10 of the 2013/2014 Offseason (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sean Powell
2. jswanson
3. Doc Raker
3. Joe Aiello
5. cap’n Obvious
5. Seymour Butts
7. Noah
8. Eddie von White
8. Jedi Johnson
8. Doug S.

Chit Chat

  • I got nothin’. Who wants to suggest a topic?
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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.