GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of 2013 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.


  • There appears to be one thing the old-school and advanced metrics agree on: Starlin Castro sucks at defense.
  • I am actually for the DL (Designated Liver) since I don’t want my pitchers living their lives. I only want them pitching. That’s what I pay them for. Walking around outside or driving a car or even taking a leak may be too dangerous. I propose the use of the DL because it provides broader coverage than just the DH.
  • when I worked for Anheuser-Busch, I had a designated liver. Carried it around after all the big drinking nights in a briefcase with a Budweiser logo.
  • “How Do You Google That”
  • Your beard looks stupid.
  • Shut your triangle-hole.
  • You do realize that you ALSO have a triangle hole, right?
  • I’m pretty confident that’s supposedly a stupid beard on jswan’s face too.
  • To the untrained eye, that indeed may appear to be a beard on my face. I commissioned my portrait to have a 5-o’clock shadow, which was realized via the spray paint can in MSPaint. Next level shit.
  • Let’s just say that telling your wife that you beat the Johnsons on Lizzie’s Girlie View is a mistake you will only make once.
  • Why stop at the pitcher? Why not expand roster to 36 so we can have 12 guys who can only hit, 12 who can only pitch, and 12 who can only field? Each team would consist solely of designated hitter, designated fielders, and designated pitchers.
  • I take it we have just stopped acknowledging the fact that there are Cub games currently being played.
  • I figure the 40 man should be down to about 6 soon after the season ends.
  • Or maybe Dale ran out of his Kashi Go Lean and missed breakfast on getaway day.
  • I’ve made it a habit to NOT check out the ball boys.
  • Lance was looking at a rack in the 3rd row when the pitch was thrown…he guessed wrong.
  • crappy official scoring can result in aging eye care practitioners having delusions of hitting .833 at fat camp.
  • Don’t be bitter just because you hit .083/.083/.083 against sally arm pitching and crippled defense. You have to put the ball in play to take advantage of crappy defense or crappy official scoring, K’s are very rarely mis scored as hits.
  • Pretty sure the Jugs machine would prefer the handle “Juggsy” over “sally arm.”


  • The first time I got a Lizzie I was so excited that I ran to the other room to tell my wife (she didn’t care) but in the process I ran out of breath. I thought, “I am too young to become short of breath this quick” so I have started exercising regularly. The moral of this story is that Lizzies save lives. True story.

Shout Outs

We had no new Lizzie contributors this time around but we’re so grateful for our regular commenters who keep this site flowing with good conversation and hearty laughter. Shout outs all around.


Congratulations our three Most Valuable Lizzie’ers this week! Bryan, Jedi and jswanson tied for the most contributions!

Top Ten of 2013 (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Seymour Butts
3.  Jedi Johnson
4. Eddie von White
5. Doc Raker
6. Joe Aiello
7. Chuck
8. Jerry in Wisconsin
9. Doug S.
10. Jeremiah Johnson

Chit Chat

What’s your current Cubs involvement?
a. I still watch or listen to every game I can.
b. I watch/listen occasionally when I have nothing better to do.
c. I watch/listen when I have nothing better to do but I always have something better to do.
d. There are still Cubs games going on?

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.