View From The Bleachers

Talking Cubs Baseball Since 2003

Thursday

5

September 2013

26

COMMENTS

GirlieView (09/05/2013)

Written by , Posted in General

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of 2013 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • There appears to be one thing the old-school and advanced metrics agree on: Starlin Castro sucks at defense.
  • I am actually for the DL (Designated Liver) since I don’t want my pitchers living their lives. I only want them pitching. That’s what I pay them for. Walking around outside or driving a car or even taking a leak may be too dangerous. I propose the use of the DL because it provides broader coverage than just the DH.
  • when I worked for Anheuser-Busch, I had a designated liver. Carried it around after all the big drinking nights in a briefcase with a Budweiser logo.
  • “How Do You Google That”
  • Your beard looks stupid.
  • Shut your triangle-hole.
  • You do realize that you ALSO have a triangle hole, right?
  • I’m pretty confident that’s supposedly a stupid beard on jswan’s face too.
  • To the untrained eye, that indeed may appear to be a beard on my face. I commissioned my portrait to have a 5-o’clock shadow, which was realized via the spray paint can in MSPaint. Next level shit.
  • Let’s just say that telling your wife that you beat the Johnsons on Lizzie’s Girlie View is a mistake you will only make once.
  • Why stop at the pitcher? Why not expand roster to 36 so we can have 12 guys who can only hit, 12 who can only pitch, and 12 who can only field? Each team would consist solely of designated hitter, designated fielders, and designated pitchers.
  • I take it we have just stopped acknowledging the fact that there are Cub games currently being played.
  • I figure the 40 man should be down to about 6 soon after the season ends.
  • Or maybe Dale ran out of his Kashi Go Lean and missed breakfast on getaway day.
  • I’ve made it a habit to NOT check out the ball boys.
  • Lance was looking at a rack in the 3rd row when the pitch was thrown…he guessed wrong.
  • crappy official scoring can result in aging eye care practitioners having delusions of hitting .833 at fat camp.
  • Don’t be bitter just because you hit .083/.083/.083 against sally arm pitching and crippled defense. You have to put the ball in play to take advantage of crappy defense or crappy official scoring, K’s are very rarely mis scored as hits.
  • Pretty sure the Jugs machine would prefer the handle “Juggsy” over “sally arm.”

Lizard

  • The first time I got a Lizzie I was so excited that I ran to the other room to tell my wife (she didn’t care) but in the process I ran out of breath. I thought, “I am too young to become short of breath this quick” so I have started exercising regularly. The moral of this story is that Lizzies save lives. True story.

Shout Outs

We had no new Lizzie contributors this time around but we’re so grateful for our regular commenters who keep this site flowing with good conversation and hearty laughter. Shout outs all around.

MVL

Congratulations our three Most Valuable Lizzie’ers this week! Bryan, Jedi and jswanson tied for the most contributions!

Top Ten of 2013 (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Seymour Butts
3.  Jedi Johnson
4. Eddie von White
5. Doc Raker
6. Joe Aiello
7. Chuck
8. Jerry in Wisconsin
9. Doug S.
10. Jeremiah Johnson

Chit Chat

What’s your current Cubs involvement?
a. I still watch or listen to every game I can.
b. I watch/listen occasionally when I have nothing better to do.
c. I watch/listen when I have nothing better to do but I always have something better to do.
d. There are still Cubs games going on?

  • PLCB3

    C.

  • Mark_from_Toronto

    A.
    As a Bills fan, football doesn’t seem like it will provide me with a more winning product than the Cubs, so I’m still tuning in for the rest of the season.

  • Jedi

    A. Even went to some Cub games in August!

  • Eddie Von White

    A.

  • Doug S.

    A.
    My NFL team will be challenging Mark’s for AFC East cellar.

  • Seymour Butts

    A.
    Bad baseball is better than no baseball at all…
    Reminds me of an old med school saying…Dyspareunia is better than no pareunia at all.
    Google it CAPS.

    • PLCB3

      Reminds me of the movie The Lifeguard. It has very little to do with lifeguarding.

  • LVCubFan

    E. I check my At Bat app to see the score, but would rather see Castro and Rizzo go a combined 8-10 then see a Cubs W.

  • Chuck

    A combination of A and B. If I am driving in the car and a Cubs game is being played, it is on my radio. If I am doing housework and a Cubs game is being played, it is either on my TV or radio so I can listen and work. I have had neither the time nor the inclination so sit in front of the TV and watch an entire game on some random summer day. I just have too much going on to devote 3+ hours to a game that my kids are not playing in. This is what helped kill my football fandom. I can’t imagine spending 6+ hours on a Sunday afternoon just watching TV any more. Too many youth sports games to attend and too much stuff around the house to do.

    • PLCB3

      This. I don’t want to hang around the house watching the idiot box all day anymore. Especially moving to a new city. I want to go out and explore it.

      • Those restaurant corporate HQ tours do sound delightful…

      • PLCB3

        Wow, that was one day for 4 hours. You clearly don’t understand the fact that Chick-Fil-A and Waffle House are cult legends down in the South.

      • Four hours? Did they teach you how to swap out toner cartridges in the print room?

      • Seymour Butts

        So is marrying cousins.

      • PLCB3

        FDR and Eleanor were Northerners

      • AC0000000

        Wow, that was one day for 4 hours. You clearly don’t understand the fact that Chick-Fil-A and Waffle House are cult legends down in the South.

      • Seymour Butts

        So is marrying cousins.

      • AC0000000

        FDR and Eleanor were Northerners

  • Doug S.

    In case you’re interested…The baby Cubs (Boise) will play the baby Jays (Vancouver) in a best of 3 NW league championship starting tomorrow. Vancouver has won this thing last 2 years in a row.

    • Seymour Butts

      According to the Boise web site, the clinching game of the first round had an attendance of 537. No wonder these are best of 3 series.

  • I’m an A. Audio if I can swing it…GameDay if I’m predisposed. I enjoy baseball.

  • cap’n obvious

    B. The call-ups will make it watchable. Barely.

  • cap’n obvious

    B. The call-ups will make it watchable. Barely.

  • Doc Raker

    I watch or listen while I am in the office or home, I certainly don’t rearrange any activities to watchp the Cubs but hey isn’t that what a DVR is for.

  • Doc Raker

    I watch or listen while I am in the office or home, I certainly don’t rearrange any activities to watchp the Cubs but hey isn’t that what a DVR is for.

  • Bryan

    A. When the Cubs are this bad, every win seems like a big deal to me. Plus there are positives to watch for each game (please don’t ask me to name any).