GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of 2013 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.


  • they believe they are bigger than life itself and that rules are for someone else.
  • This could be the biggest VFTB scandal we have seen since the Homza/Muscat incident. Now we need to figure out who Resident Raker, Eddy Von Beige, actualword, Mark from Manitoba, and Seymour Muffintops might be.
  • This is largely due to the Cubs not trotting out starting pitchers that just are not good enough to get by the in Majors, are not ready for the Majors, or both, 4 out of 5 games.
  • we’ve been looking for our Johnsons all week.
  • The Cubs should move down to 16U in 2014 to compete. They could take the USSSA World Series for sure!
  • I’m not trying to sound preachy but the insider guy has done some basic deductive reasoning and for the most part hasn’t committed to anything other than speculation. This is not an insider.
  • Just for disclosure purposes, As someone who has had a conversation with Theo and Dale, in a third base dugout operated by the Cubs, I have no inside information what so ever, and they would not recognize my name. Please keep that in mind when absorbing my blather.
  • We’re also going to get a glimpse of what this regime is going to do with a big amount of cash to spend for the first time and that should give us some insight into the timetable they are expecting.
  • Shark has been busy working his porn career, that can take a lot out of your legs.
  • The DH is an abomination that strips most strategy from the game.
  • let’s put it on a tee so that we don’t lose any players to a HBP for months.
  • would be nullified by the new appearance of injuries from tripping over the tee on the way to first.
  • So let’s have the pitcher stand opposite the hitter and soft toss the pitches in there – that’ll solve the TJ surgery epidemic too.
  • But it would increase the likelyhood of line drives, and we do not want to go into the vagaries of those.
  • Eliminating either the field of play or batted balls would help there, Jerry.
  • Baseball without vagarious line drives isn’t baseball.
  • Wiffle ball is the answer.
  • Rinse and repeat.
  • And not at all in accordance with the fact that the Tigers need another bat (and another bullpen arm).
  • There’s no reward because let’s face it, it’s the third child and ‘hey you’ or ‘stop that’ will probably suffice until he’s 14 anyway
  • I would name him Axel. People don’t mess with kids with names like that.
  • I’m still voting for Abe Froman Johnson.
  • It’s gotta be Harold. Name the kid Harold.
  • How about naming him Alfonso? Just remember though if you do, he won’t be all that productive in April.
  • I really don’t think you can top Max Johnson. That is the manliest name I’ve ever heard.
  • It has porn star written all over it.
  • All over what?
  • That’s my two-year-old you’re talking about!
  • Josh Johnson has a nice ring to it.
  • My wife and I named our son Colvin (after former Cub not-so-great Tyler Colvin) and he responded by taking a shard of bat in the chest so I am monitoring my son’s heart health closely.
  • Hugh G Johnson. It will intimidate other boys and provide that self esteem boost most kids now a days seem to require.
  • Since you haven’t really shut down the idea of Hugh, let’s kick the tires on Jazz as a middle name. Hugh Jazz Johnson. Sounds pretty legit.
  • Peter. Redundant.
  • How about Major, Major Johnson!
  • How about Reed? Reed Johnson.
  • I hear he play hard.
  • We could go with Reed Major Johnson, but that would condem the kid to playing a woodwind instrument.
  • Waveland Johnson sounds nice.
  • Dumping Carlos Marmol and Shawn Camp at the end of June were major steps in the right direction
  • Why do they still use corded phones hanging on the wall to call the bullpen? Nobody has those anymore.
  • The fax machine is on the fritz.
  • It is probably more difficult to hack a land line than a wireless signal.
  • Yeah, I suppose you wouldn’t want anyone to read your lips when you tell the lefty to start warming up. Keep the suspension up until the camera actually shows him get up.
  • Shhhhhhhhhh!
  • How is this news? So if a pitcher keeps opposing runners off base, and keeps them from hammering extra base hits and home runs, he’s effective. Got it.
  • Greetings from Cooperstown All Star Village.
  • You know what will affect winning? Regularly embarrassing your young talent at every chance.
  • I’m of the opinion that a fair amount of Cubs fans just need a team pariah.
  • I’d love to see Cub fans stop eating their young.
  • The only way those guys can talk 24/7 is to invent controversies
  • Baseball either needs to start paying Minor League umpires a good enough salary to attract solid talent or just switch to an all computers, video, and man in the booth umpiring format.
  • Most of us are not professional athletes, but most of us are a professionals of some sort that work as part of a “team” (however you want to define it), and we all know, anecdotally, that one’s work environment can affect your job performance and morale. So, I think there is probably something to “chemistry,” even if it can’t be quantified – but the question is, how much does it actually affect the bottom line of wins and losses?
  • If a team were better on the field, they’d probably have better chemistry, and that’s probably the most important interaction between the two concepts.
  • I believe “chemistry”, as it applies to sports, is only a negative force. Great team chemistry won’t really help you win more games because talent will win out in the end as long as it is not mismanaged. However, a toxic clubhouse will suppress winning because negative attitudes will tend to produce negative results in subtle ways.
  • you are not allowed to use the word “grit” in an article without also using the word “moxie.”
  • Wow, that’s a surgeon’s butt in the photo. Who knew?
  • I thought everyone did, actually.
  • While we are clearing things up, I don’t actually manage an Orange Julius. I am a shift leader at the Orange Julius, which is more or less an assistant manager position.
  • Assistant to the manager position.
  • Same thing.


  • Nothing lends itself more to credibility than a handle of Assman2

Shout Outs

We had no new Lizzie contributors this time around but we’re so grateful for our regular commenters who keep this site flowing with good conversation and hearty laughter. Shout outs all around.


Congratulations to Jedi Johnson, who returned to the US and to VFTB with a flourish this week. He’s the Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time around!

Top Ten of 2013 (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Seymour Butts
3. Eddie von White
4. Jedi Johnson
5. Doc Raker
6. Joe Aiello
7. Chuck
8. Jerry in Wisconsin
9. Doug S.
10. Jeremiah Johnson

Chit Chat

Today’s chit chat comes to us courtesy of one of Chuck’s Lizzies (thanks Chuck!) … and I quote: “The DH is an abomination that strips most strategy from the game.” I completely agree. Here’s your chance to make your case. How do you feel about it?

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.