GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of 2013 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Either Jed Hoyer was using a bit of misdirection (also called lying through his teeth), or things moved a lot faster than he thought they would
  • Once upon a time, an American education thru high school meant you had some pool of knowledge. The pool is now very shallow.
  • It is one of the few shows on TV (comedy division) that actually celebrates being smart versus being dumb
  • A number of hotels will have free toiletries available at the front desk for travelers who forget to pack a razor or tooth brush. If one is staying with relatives, you could call ahead to make sure the local Kwikie mart is fully stocked.
  • Who says pandering doesn’t pay off. My greatest letdown after reading the Lizzies….I have to wait 14 days for another.
  • I am becoming increasingly optimistic that the Cubs are turning this ship around.
  • You did say “ship” right?
  • This is not a horrible season. For me, it’s filled with promise and hope
  • On the ledge (to the tune of “Turn the Page”)*
    On a long and lonesome highway
    East of anywhere
    You can listen to the talkshows
    Moanin’ out their same ol’ song -
    You can think about the error
    Or the strikeouts from the night before…
    But your thoughts will soon be wandering
    The way they always do
    When you’re losin’ lots of ballgames
    And there’s nothin’ you can do
    And you don’t feel much like watchin’,
    You just wish the year was through…
    Here I am
    Cubbie Fan again
    There I am
    hand in the fridge
    Here I go
    Missin’ work again
    There I go
    out on the ledge…
    Well you trudge into a sports bar,
    Can’t win at home or on the road,
    And you feel the eyes upon you
    Smirkin’ at the cap,
    You pretend it doesn’t bother you
    But that’s a load of crap…
    Most times you can’t hear ‘em talk,
    Other times you can
    All the same old cliches,
    “Is he that stuipid, man?”
    And you always seem outnumbered,
    You don’t dare make a stand
    (your only consolation, man, is you’re no White Sox fan)
    Here I am
    Cubbie Fan again
    There I am
    hand in the fridge
    Here I go
    Missin’ work again
    There I go
    out on the ledge…
    Out there in the bleachers
    You’re a million miles away
    Every ounce of energy
    You try to give away
    As the sweat pours out your body
    it’s those beers you had today…
    Later in the evening
    As you lie awake in bed
    With the memories of walks and balks
    Ringin’ in your head
    You play the day’s last bat,
    over in your head…
    Here we are
    pitchers’ count, we see
    Here we go
    Ain’t it a shame
    Here we go
    Called strike three…again
    There we go
    Blame Dale Sveum…
    Here we are
    thrown out again
    Here we go
    Ain’t it a shame,
    Won’t be long now
    Shutout again
    There they go
    Losing the game…
    There they go
    There they go…………
    *with tremendous apologies to Bob Seger
  • some part of me said that I should not be banking with a division rival.
  • Seymour’s novelty Cards chest retractor is a hoot in the cardio wing.
  • some of us can’t spend all day on the internet.
  • you can wed yer kin.
  • Vagaries are real sons of bitches.
  • Luck is being the Oakland news anchor with the day off when the gag of the century gets pulled off with amazing efficiency.
  • I mentioned the wooden clogs didn’t fit his persona very well. He gave me a dirty look. I was eating a hot dog so I guess you can say we had a post game meal together.
  • Uh oh. The old Kevin Gregg is back.
  • I am beginning to believe his baseball IQ is that of a Meatball Sub with ranch dressing.
  • I think you’re being a little generous. Rizzo has to work his way up to the ranch dressing.
  • The first time something like that happens, shame on the player. When it keeps happening, shame on the manager. Where is the discipline this team so sorely lacks?
  • What I don’t understand is why the All Star break has to last until Friday. Do we really need 2 days after the actual All Star game before everyone is back with their teams and ready to go.
  • When dealing for prospects you always go for the best player you can get regardless of position. Players get hurt. Players start to unexpectedly suck. Players demand trades or leave as a free agent. You can always shuffle players around in the field or trade them later for what you need. You can never have too many top prospects.
  • I read somewhere that Shark played football in college.
  • To combat this epidemic, the Cubs should only draft players who didn’t pitch before they turned 18.
  • The big slow curve is Rakers out pitch, and his set up pitch and every pitch in between. Nine innings of slow curve balls, OK, I threw 4 ‘fastballs’ but no one could tell.
  • I could just see a GM thumbing through his twitter feed now, “HaHaHa, Matt Garza for Mike Olt…wasn’t even a thought!”
  • Chetter Chatter?
  • I see your Chetter Chatter and raise you a Chet Cetera.
  • Is it a relative of Chicago tenor, Peter? People would undoubtedly inquire.
  • Greg? Well shit…I’ve spent twenty some years emulating Mike Maddox.
  • Think of the amount the Cubs could have gotten in a trade for Brett Jackson at the beginning of 2012 compared to the beginning of 2013.
  • “Since I’ve been here, that’s the first kid that’s come up and looked like a major leaguer, aggressive, aggressive on the bases…He did a great job and swung the bat really nice.” said Swammy as Dave Sappelt, Luis Valbuena and Brian Bugusevic wimper in the corner.
  • I’m not sure if Carlos Villanueva would be better equipped to be a productive member of the starting rotation by growing the handle bar mustache back, but it does seem like he’s lost his super powers since he shaved.
  • Last year I rode Luis Valbuena pretty hard. I apologize now for those comments.
  • DeMan says something insightful into the pitcher hitter matchup and there is an awkward silence, followed by………………Pearl Jam is in a rain delay at Wrigley Field tonight.
  • It’s not about the money you idiots, don’t you listen to these guys after they sign there megamillion contracts.
  • He will also be able to pick a good school system for his kids,
  • I love the deal.
  • Rangers overpay for Garza. Cubs win in AZ, Lake big night, Deal expected with Soriano and Yanks, Braun exposed again and suspended, Damn good sports day!!

Lizard

  • I don’t think there’s anything entertaining about the guys who cheat being rewarded the most.

Shout Outs

  • Many thanks to Ann Landers who logged her first Lizzie of 2013 this time around! Imagine that!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker and jswanson, co-Most Valuable Lizzie’ers this time around!

Top Ten of 2013 (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard) – on account of the fact that this post isn’t quite long enough as it is, I’ll list the full standings this time around.

1. jswanson
2. Seymour Butts
3. Doc Raker
4. Eddie von White
4. Jedi Johnson
6. Joe Aiello
7. Chuck
8. Jeremiah Johnson
9. Doug S.
10. Buddy
11. Jerry in Wisconsin
12. Noah Eisner
13. cap’n obvious
14. Katie
15. Gymjok
15. Josh Cornwall
17. Chet
17. LVCubFan
19. Bryan
19. Norm
19. Verncrowe5
22. Darlin_Starlin
22. Tom C
24. CAPS
24. Dusty Baylor
24. Sean Powell
27. Bones
27. Mark_from_Toronto
29. Holden Clark
29. Sherm
29. wisconsinjpc
32. Michael Jimenez
33. Aaron
33. Allan
33. Ann Landers
33. Dave
33. Dous Entendre
33. Drew Peterson
33. Hugh Hefner
33. Jim Hickman
33. Josephine
33. Josh H
33. Just Curious
33. mrbaseball2usa
33. Rick Beato
33. Rocco Kavana
33. Scott E. Entsminger
33. Still Curious
33. The Whole Damn Show
33. Troy Maskell

Chit Chat

  • What are your plans (baseball-related or otherwise) for the rest of the summer?

 

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.