View From The Bleachers

Talking Cubs Baseball Since 2003

Thursday

25

July 2013

49

COMMENTS

GirlieView (07/25/2013)

Written by , Posted in General

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of 2013 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Either Jed Hoyer was using a bit of misdirection (also called lying through his teeth), or things moved a lot faster than he thought they would
  • Once upon a time, an American education thru high school meant you had some pool of knowledge. The pool is now very shallow.
  • It is one of the few shows on TV (comedy division) that actually celebrates being smart versus being dumb
  • A number of hotels will have free toiletries available at the front desk for travelers who forget to pack a razor or tooth brush. If one is staying with relatives, you could call ahead to make sure the local Kwikie mart is fully stocked.
  • Who says pandering doesn’t pay off. My greatest letdown after reading the Lizzies….I have to wait 14 days for another.
  • I am becoming increasingly optimistic that the Cubs are turning this ship around.
  • You did say “ship” right?
  • This is not a horrible season. For me, it’s filled with promise and hope
  • On the ledge (to the tune of “Turn the Page”)*
    On a long and lonesome highway
    East of anywhere
    You can listen to the talkshows
    Moanin’ out their same ol’ song –
    You can think about the error
    Or the strikeouts from the night before…
    But your thoughts will soon be wandering
    The way they always do
    When you’re losin’ lots of ballgames
    And there’s nothin’ you can do
    And you don’t feel much like watchin’,
    You just wish the year was through…
    Here I am
    Cubbie Fan again
    There I am
    hand in the fridge
    Here I go
    Missin’ work again
    There I go
    out on the ledge…
    Well you trudge into a sports bar,
    Can’t win at home or on the road,
    And you feel the eyes upon you
    Smirkin’ at the cap,
    You pretend it doesn’t bother you
    But that’s a load of crap…
    Most times you can’t hear ’em talk,
    Other times you can
    All the same old cliches,
    “Is he that stuipid, man?”
    And you always seem outnumbered,
    You don’t dare make a stand
    (your only consolation, man, is you’re no White Sox fan)
    Here I am
    Cubbie Fan again
    There I am
    hand in the fridge
    Here I go
    Missin’ work again
    There I go
    out on the ledge…
    Out there in the bleachers
    You’re a million miles away
    Every ounce of energy
    You try to give away
    As the sweat pours out your body
    it’s those beers you had today…
    Later in the evening
    As you lie awake in bed
    With the memories of walks and balks
    Ringin’ in your head
    You play the day’s last bat,
    over in your head…
    Here we are
    pitchers’ count, we see
    Here we go
    Ain’t it a shame
    Here we go
    Called strike three…again
    There we go
    Blame Dale Sveum…
    Here we are
    thrown out again
    Here we go
    Ain’t it a shame,
    Won’t be long now
    Shutout again
    There they go
    Losing the game…
    There they go
    There they go…………
    *with tremendous apologies to Bob Seger
  • some part of me said that I should not be banking with a division rival.
  • Seymour’s novelty Cards chest retractor is a hoot in the cardio wing.
  • some of us can’t spend all day on the internet.
  • you can wed yer kin.
  • Vagaries are real sons of bitches.
  • Luck is being the Oakland news anchor with the day off when the gag of the century gets pulled off with amazing efficiency.
  • I mentioned the wooden clogs didn’t fit his persona very well. He gave me a dirty look. I was eating a hot dog so I guess you can say we had a post game meal together.
  • Uh oh. The old Kevin Gregg is back.
  • I am beginning to believe his baseball IQ is that of a Meatball Sub with ranch dressing.
  • I think you’re being a little generous. Rizzo has to work his way up to the ranch dressing.
  • The first time something like that happens, shame on the player. When it keeps happening, shame on the manager. Where is the discipline this team so sorely lacks?
  • What I don’t understand is why the All Star break has to last until Friday. Do we really need 2 days after the actual All Star game before everyone is back with their teams and ready to go.
  • When dealing for prospects you always go for the best player you can get regardless of position. Players get hurt. Players start to unexpectedly suck. Players demand trades or leave as a free agent. You can always shuffle players around in the field or trade them later for what you need. You can never have too many top prospects.
  • I read somewhere that Shark played football in college.
  • To combat this epidemic, the Cubs should only draft players who didn’t pitch before they turned 18.
  • The big slow curve is Rakers out pitch, and his set up pitch and every pitch in between. Nine innings of slow curve balls, OK, I threw 4 ‘fastballs’ but no one could tell.
  • I could just see a GM thumbing through his twitter feed now, “HaHaHa, Matt Garza for Mike Olt…wasn’t even a thought!”
  • Chetter Chatter?
  • I see your Chetter Chatter and raise you a Chet Cetera.
  • Is it a relative of Chicago tenor, Peter? People would undoubtedly inquire.
  • Greg? Well shit…I’ve spent twenty some years emulating Mike Maddox.
  • Think of the amount the Cubs could have gotten in a trade for Brett Jackson at the beginning of 2012 compared to the beginning of 2013.
  • “Since I’ve been here, that’s the first kid that’s come up and looked like a major leaguer, aggressive, aggressive on the bases…He did a great job and swung the bat really nice.” said Swammy as Dave Sappelt, Luis Valbuena and Brian Bugusevic wimper in the corner.
  • I’m not sure if Carlos Villanueva would be better equipped to be a productive member of the starting rotation by growing the handle bar mustache back, but it does seem like he’s lost his super powers since he shaved.
  • Last year I rode Luis Valbuena pretty hard. I apologize now for those comments.
  • DeMan says something insightful into the pitcher hitter matchup and there is an awkward silence, followed by………………Pearl Jam is in a rain delay at Wrigley Field tonight.
  • It’s not about the money you idiots, don’t you listen to these guys after they sign there megamillion contracts.
  • He will also be able to pick a good school system for his kids,
  • I love the deal.
  • Rangers overpay for Garza. Cubs win in AZ, Lake big night, Deal expected with Soriano and Yanks, Braun exposed again and suspended, Damn good sports day!!

Lizard

  • I don’t think there’s anything entertaining about the guys who cheat being rewarded the most.

Shout Outs

  • Many thanks to Ann Landers who logged her first Lizzie of 2013 this time around! Imagine that!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker and jswanson, co-Most Valuable Lizzie’ers this time around!

Top Ten of 2013 (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard) – on account of the fact that this post isn’t quite long enough as it is, I’ll list the full standings this time around.

1. jswanson
2. Seymour Butts
3. Doc Raker
4. Eddie von White
4. Jedi Johnson
6. Joe Aiello
7. Chuck
8. Jeremiah Johnson
9. Doug S.
10. Buddy
11. Jerry in Wisconsin
12. Noah Eisner
13. cap’n obvious
14. Katie
15. Gymjok
15. Josh Cornwall
17. Chet
17. LVCubFan
19. Bryan
19. Norm
19. Verncrowe5
22. Darlin_Starlin
22. Tom C
24. CAPS
24. Dusty Baylor
24. Sean Powell
27. Bones
27. Mark_from_Toronto
29. Holden Clark
29. Sherm
29. wisconsinjpc
32. Michael Jimenez
33. Aaron
33. Allan
33. Ann Landers
33. Dave
33. Dous Entendre
33. Drew Peterson
33. Hugh Hefner
33. Jim Hickman
33. Josephine
33. Josh H
33. Just Curious
33. mrbaseball2usa
33. Rick Beato
33. Rocco Kavana
33. Scott E. Entsminger
33. Still Curious
33. The Whole Damn Show
33. Troy Maskell

Chit Chat

  • What are your plans (baseball-related or otherwise) for the rest of the summer?

 

  • PLCB3

    Well I just got back from home, so I already had my vacation. Plans for the rest of the summer include trying to get a job in Chicago so I can come back home, and seeing a Yankees-Red Sox game. I was going to last weekend, but I was visiting my parents. I wanted to go to Chicago in August when the Cubs will be in town, but my parents won’t be home.

    • Eddie Von White

      Yankees/Red Sox are on MLB most everyday.

      • PLCB3

        Read my post again

      • Eddie Von White

        Oops. My bad. I forgot you don’t get sarcasm.

      • Seymour Butts

        It’s not that he doesn’t get sarcasm, he just has no use for it.

      • Jerry in Wisconsin

        He is just a few Bazinggas short of being Sheldon

    • Eddie Von White

      Yankees/Red Sox are on MLB most everyday.

    • Joe Aiello

      So, “for good” or for two years? Which is it? I’m hanging on pins and needles.

      • PLCB3

        Sorry. I should have been more clear. I said I just got back from coming home, because I consider Chicago home. Coming back for good means living and working in Chicago. The 2 years part is when I intend to move to Florida for life, which I am doing no matter what. Whether or not I am in Boston or Chicago

      • Chuck

        Why? I do not understand why people like Florida so much. I like seasons. I like being able to deal with bugs without the need to resort to firearms. There is just something deeply disturbing about having lizards all over the place. Florida in August is the closest to hell that I ever care to be.

        I like the Midwest and I have no plans on ever leaving. Not dealing with snow makes you a pansy over time.

      • PLCB3

        Sucks to that! Florida is great. I loved my time at Disney World and want to go back. I don’t mind Florida living at all. It wasn’t terrible.

        Not only do I like no snow, I also like no state income tax, I like beaches, great soul food, the redneck lifestyle of the south, and the loose gun laws. Being able to keep the King of England out of my face is very important, along with family protection, and hunting dangerous and delicious animals.

      • Chuck

        To each his own.

      • PLCB3

        Exactly. I don’t like cold weather and high taxes.

      • Jerry in Wisconsin

        Sounds like you lived in Florida for awhile. Those are the exact same reasons my wife and I moved back to the mid-west.

      • Josh Cornwall

        Not to mention, almost 99 percent of the countries pedafiles live in Florida……weird, weird place.

      • Chuck

        Why? I do not understand why people like Florida so much. I like seasons. I like being able to deal with bugs without the need to resort to firearms. There is just something deeply disturbing about having lizards all over the place. Florida in August is the closest to hell that I ever care to be.

        I like the Midwest and I have no plans on ever leaving. Not dealing with snow makes you a pansy over time.

      • AC0000000

        Sucks to that! Florida is great. I loved my time at Disney World and want to go back. I don’t mind Florida living at all. It wasn’t terrible.

        Not only do I like no snow, I also like no state income tax, I like beaches, great soul food, the redneck lifestyle of the south, and the loose gun laws. Being able to keep the King of England out of my face is very important, along with family protection, and hunting dangerous and delicious animals.

      • Josh Cornwall

        Not to mention, almost 99 percent of the countries pedafiles live in Florida……weird, weird place.

  • Doug S.

    Watch MLB, especially the Cubs, watch minor league baseball live. Jets training camp starts today, I’ll follow that as long as I can stomach those clowns. Vacation up in Whistler.

  • Joe Aiello

    As lame as it make me sound, I’ve really enjoyed watching Cubs baseball. We just got back from Gatlinburg for vacation and nothing else on the docket.

    • PLCB3

      I’ve been in that part of Tennessee, how was it?

    • AC0000000

      I’ve never been to that part of Tennessee, how was it?

    • Eddie Von White

      That does not sound the least bit lame. I can honestly say, I have never not enjoyed watching the Cubs. Even when they are in a slump and playing suckie, every game is a new day and hope springs eternal with the opening pitch. I plan my days around Cubs baseball whenever there is nothing else on the docket.

      • Agree. Totally not lame!

    • Eddie Von White

      That does not sound the least bit lame. I can honestly say, I have never not enjoyed watching the Cubs. Even when they are in a slump and playing suckie, every game is a new day and hope springs eternal with the opening pitch. I plan my days around Cubs baseball whenever there is nothing else on the docket.

  • I was sure CAPS anecdote about yelling at his mom for repeated pizza inquiries would have been the Lizzard. Huh.

    6″ sandwiches on Seymour!

    • Ahhh yes, because I’m such a huge fan of blatant disrespect! Maybe next time.

      • Read the post again. She did it again the next day. It was the only way she would learn.

      • Seymour Butts

        You are missing the point…the neighbors…it was about the neighbors.

      • Eddie Von White

        His neighbors must be the Vogelbachs’ – what with ordering pizza everyday and all.

      • PLCB3

        So if you got asked every single day if the neighbors ordered from your work, you wouldn’t eventually get fed up?

      • Probably. I just don’t feel the need to school my mother. Then brag about it publicly on a baseball blog.

      • PLCB3

        If it’s that important to her and she’s that concerned about them ordering pizza, she should just ask them herself. And I gave her a warning to stop, which didn’t work. Sometimes you just have to take these kind of measures.

        Another thing she did was call me every single day at work to find out when I woke up, what I ate for breakfast, when my dad left for work, what did I eat for lunch, etc. I told her to stop several times, then finally I told her in front of my dad she was no longer allowed to call unless it was an emergency or she was ordering pizza. Does it work? No! I had to yell at her in front of my dad to put a stop to it.

      • Dick move. Being nice to your mom is grown man 101.

      • Chuck

        There will come a time when you are your parents. What goes around will come around.

      • PLCB3

        If I ever have kids, I won’t ask them every single day if the neighbors ordered pizza or call them at work to find out what time they got up and what they ate and when their mother left for work in the morning.

      • Of course not. You don’t do anything annoying.

      • I’d pay real money to be around when he realizes this.

    • PLCB3

      None for me this week. I busted a gut real good in Chicago. Uno’s in Chicago is nothing like the Uno’s in Boston or Orlando. At least Giordano’s in Orlando is pretty close to the original.

  • Jerry in Wisconsin

    Redoing a kitchen and watching Cubs games when the wife’s back is turned.

    • Eddie Von White

      When the wife’s back is turned, I am watching the wife’s backside.

  • Seymour Butts

    A Scuba trip to the Caribbean in late October. I figured I would not miss any important games then.

    • Cap’n Obvious

      You won’t.

      • Chuck

        Why wait? Go now. No important games until 2014 at the earliest.

    • You may want to steer clear of the mayo at the Cozumel Subway.

      • Seymour Butts

        As long as it is not moving, it’s ok.
        On a prior trip to Cozumel Big Z threw his no-no whilst I was gone. I’m hoping the internet access improved in the interim.

      • Sherm

        Well, we know Big Z hasn’t.

      • Cap’n Obvious

        This is where CAPS would say bazinga, if he wasn’t a few short. It’s nice to have Sherm back.

  • Mark_from_Toronto

    Hoping to get in more golf for the rest of this summer. No real travel plans otherwise, was debating travelling to catch a Cubs game somewhere, but I think I’ll just stick to watching them on TV for the rest of this season.