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July 2013

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A Cubs Fan Walks Into a Bank

Written by , Posted in General

…..Would be the name of the story if anyone ever wanted to document how my day started on July 11, 2013. My wife and I found out we are moving back to the Northeast in a few weeks, so we found ourselves sitting on a flower-printed couch in the middle of a small Jackson, Mississippi bank.

One of the customer service guys–for the sake of anonymity, let’s call him Seymour–called us over to his desk and immediately commented on my Reed Johnson jersey tee. Yes I still wear that once every few weeks. Before I could counter with the friendly, “Oh are you a Cubs fan too?” conversation, he magically whips out a Cardinals mug from some unseen compartment in his desk.

“Seymour” was a nice guy and knew his baseball, but some part of me said that I should not be banking with a division rival. On the way out he wished me well and said he hopes the Cubs turn around their season. A subtle knife in the back to take home.

Unbeknownst to my suddenly forgetful brain, the Cubs and Cards were set to play a four-game set starting tonight and I was in charge of the now-defunct recap. Usually this spells doom, especially since I get shackled to Edwin Jackson starts more than anyone it seems, but my childish glee was in full effect as the text updates rolled across my iPhone screen.

Anthony Rizzo’s RBI-hit times two during the first three innings was enough for Jackson, as he matched a season-high seven innings pitched. The Cubs shutout St. Louis only one day after giving up a season-high runs in a game against the Angels.

Still Chicago has won five out of six games with three more against their St. Louis arch rivals leading up to the All-Star break. If the Cubs improbably sweep the Cards, they will only be five games under .500 entering the break. One can dream can’t they?

In a season that has been downright miserable to watch at times, winning games like Thursday make games like Wednesday worth skimming over watching. “Seymour” was probably none too happy with today’s result, but the earlier interaction made the game more enjoyable to follow along.

Newsworthy?

  • New ESPN wonder boy Yasiel Puig was not named as the vote-in player representative for the National League, with that designation going to Freddie Freeman. Puig’s month-ish time in the league has been nothing short of magnificent, but I think the fans made the right call.
  • In a pretty horrible, but not uncommon mistake. A kid was accidentally called a “Home run Hitler” in his school yearbook. That’s unfortunate.
  • PETA has found a new organization to be upset with

The teams are back in action tomorrow afternoon at 3:05 CT with Carlos Villanueva going against Joe Kelly.

 

  • Seymour’s novelty Cards chest retractor is a hoot in the cardio wing.

  • Seymour’s novelty Cards chest retractor is a hoot in the cardio wing.

  • PLCB3

    Cubs finally got approval on their jumbotron and outfield sign yesterday. Smaller than what they wanted, but not what trashfan Tunney wanted.

    Puig only lost because a teammate was on the ballot. No one ever wins the final vote if they have a teammate on the ballot.

    • Josh Cornwall

      Last time I had looked, there was no new news about the Jumbotron. I must have missed it.

      • PLCB3

        It was front page on cubs.com last night

      • Josh Cornwall

        Well some of us can’t spend all day on the internet. 😉

      • Josh Cornwall

        Well some of us can’t spend all day on the internet. 😉

      • Jedi

        Really – you feel comfortable telling someone else where information is readily available on the internet?

      • Seymour Butts

        Slow Clap.

      • PLCB3

        I wish there was an ignore user feature on vftb

  • AC0000000

    Cubs finally got approval on their jumbotron and outfield sign yesterday. Smaller than what they wanted, but not what trashfan Tunney wanted.

    Puig only lost because a teammate was on the ballot. No one ever wins the final vote if they have a teammate on the ballot.

    • Josh Cornwall

      Last time I had looked, there was no new news about the Jumbotron. I must have missed it.

  • Doug S.

    I truly believe Cards fans get a special kick digging Cubs fans. They’ll say “hope you guys win some day”, but it’s talk and they don’t mean it. They’re really liking us just where we are right now. Revenge will be super sweet. Remaining classy might be a challenge.

    • On a good note, Doug, it doesn’t take a whole lot of effort to be classier than a Cards fan. That bar is already set pretty low.

      • I don’t know Liz…some of those guys are wearing belts in their jorts now.

      • Damn. I guess I need to step up my game.

      • Doug S.

        I had to look the word jorts up.
        Too funny.
        The urban dictionary’s descriptions are not very flattering to those that wear them. Cards fans!!

      • PLCB3

        I’ve never experienced classlessness from Cardinals fans. I’ve been to St. Louis in my Cubs hat before and the people there were all very nice to me.

  • Doug S.

    I truly believe Cards fans get a special kick digging Cubs fans. They’ll say “hope you guys win some day”, but it’s talk and they don’t mean it. They’re really liking us just where we are right now. Revenge will be super sweet. Remaining classy might be a challenge.

    • On a good note, Doug, it doesn’t take a whole lot of effort to be classier than a Cards fan. That bar is already set pretty low.

  • Jerry in Wisconsin

    I too got optimistic and looked to see what the Cubs record would be if they swept the Cards. It is a nice dream that I hope becomes a reality.

    • Eddie Von White

      You can dream, but remember, it’s just a dream.

      • Jedi

        The way Garza and Wood have been pitching – if the Cubs win today a sweep isn’t unreasonable.

      • Eddie Von White

        It would be a dream come true.

  • Chuck

    I give PETA the same credibility that I give to the guys who post global conspiracy theories on Youtube. There may be a shred of truth there, but it surrounded by so much crap and hyperbole that it renders the entire argument absurd.

    • You are so right Chuck.

  • PLCB3

    The only PETA I know of is People Eating Tasty Animals.

  • Seymour Butts

    Congrats on the move. Any direction away from the deep south is the right direction.

    • PLCB3

      What are you talking about? The South is awesome. No snow and low taxes. If you go to Florida, no snow, and no state income tax.

      • And you can wed yer kin.

      • PLCB3

        Remember I have no intention to ever get married

  • Doc Raker

    Seymour Butts, not the Mississippi banker, is a PETA card carrying member.

  • Jedi

    Cubs claim a Giants outfielder Cole Gillespie off of waivers…seems like a prelude to a trade, but most of our outfielders are hurt.