GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of 2013 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • My wife says I am the king of stupid movie knowledge.
  • I can’t print what my wife says about me.
  • I don’t have a lot to say that would be worthwhile about this game or this team right now.
  • Wake me if Theo makes a move in December.
  • Would you like Chuck to gently stroke your beard to wake you?
  • I am available.
  • I lost out on a $650mil when my last lotto ticket had the wrong numbers printed on it.
  • That will be followed by a rousing round of mowing the lawn before the Army requests to use my yard to simulate jungle conditions.
  • First to arrive gets 1 free signed Cap Obvious baseball. second prize is 2 Cap Obvious balls.
  • Second prize for the Missus is also two Cap’n Obvious balls.
  • I like the symmetry
  • I heard one of the sportscasters say he was a wide receiver at Notre Dame.
  • Shaun “I spell my name wrong” Marcum
  • Dave “I-defend-Ian-Stewart-on-Twitter” Sappelt
  • Make sure you keep up with VFTB on your honeymoon, CAPS and jswan musings can be very romantic.
  • What kind of bizzaro world are we living in when the words “Marlon Byrd went yard” are still being uttered?
  • The one where we were upset to not see Kevin Gregg on the bump.
  • And one where Kevin Gregg is on our list of All Star candidates.
  • Also where last year’s representative is battling hams in Asia.
  • Other things Marmol wouldn’t be able to close victoriously: The toilet seat, Child-proof medicine bottles, A war with France
  • why does no one seem to care that he’s got musical notes tattooed on his neck?
  • Is that what is on Yadi’s neck, musical notes? I thought they were Chinese symbols, they are hideous either way.
  • As opposed to all of those tasteful neck tattoos.
  • I still don’t miss Braun.
  • How on earth did you get Sveum’s diary?
  • Spy craft. I watched a lot of Get Smart as a kid.
  • Imagine if football teams had closers.
  • [Barney] has no business that high in the order unless he’s playing in a lineup full of pitchers, and even then I’d have to strongly consider Travis Wood over him.
  • With a project of building my wife’s kitten a cat “castle” awaiting me on the back deck, I felt safe leaving the fate of the game in Wood’s very capable hand.
  • It is clear that Rizzo’s haircut is the reason for breaking out of the slump.
  • Raspberry cheesecake cookies actually pair wonderfully with ranch.
  • …in the trash? …as a digestive? …when trying to pass a kidney stone?

Lizard

  • the team has released disgruntled third baseman Ian Stewart.

MVL

  • Congratulations to Jeremiah Johnson, the Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time around!

Top Ten of 2013 (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Seymour Butts
3. Eddie von White
4. Doc Raker
5. Jedi Johnson
6. Joe Aiello
7. Chuck
8. Jeremiah Johnson
9. Buddy
10. Doug S.

Chit Chat

By the time the next GirlieView is published, summer will be more than half overwith and we’ll be past the All Star Break. What are a few things you’d like to see the Cubs do during the remainder of the season? “Be done with Ian Stewart” was on the top of my list so I’m a happy gal, and I know many are very happy that Marmol won’t be throwing any more games for us (literally and figuratively.) How about you? What’s on your Cubs to-do list?

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.