View From The Bleachers

May 30, 2013

GirlieView (05/30/2013)

Filed under: Featured,General — Lizzie @ 2:00 pm

I can’t seem to warm up to this team this year and I don’t catch many games. Instead I’m living vicariously through your recaps and commentary in order to keep up to date. Thank you all for that!

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of 2013 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Hire this guy.
  • I have a 50 year-old Mitch Williams closing for the 2014 Cubs. His velocity is definitely down, but his mullet is impressive at a little over three feet long.
  • The Cubs have lurched into second-to-last place.
  • I always love your optimism, Jeremiah.
  • Closest I’ve come to camping was at the Hilton Seattle
  • the underlying work that goes into eating potato salad outside is not worth it.
  • having your little girl grow up to love the Cubs just like you do is the most awesomest thing.
  • You can’t outsmart Lizzie, don’t you know?
  • Jeff Samardzija was a wide receiver at Notre Dame.
  • I had not heard that…where do you get your inside info?
  • pervybigleaguepitcherswhoplayedwidereceiveratnotredame.info
  • if Seymour invites you out to dinner you might want to already have plans and if you do end up at the Subway with him don’t fall for his ‘I forgot my wallet’ bit, he loves pulling that stunt with rookies.
  • Mr Clark, do not wholeheartedly agree with anything the Raker says. He rants and babbles and eats very poorly.
  • we need to all just shut up and let a manager manage his team the way he feels is best. When you get your shot, do it how you want.
  • I’m still evaluating my pitchers solely upon height. Sad to see Volstad go, but Feldman and Shark both stepped up being tall and are pitching quite well.
  • Regardless, the cubs bullpen blows.
  • If we all had the same opinion, you would have to change the title to “BFTB” (Bland From The Bleachers).
  • Everyone wants to be right, some people insist on it, but that doesn’t change that they’re wrong anyway.
  • It’s not a great sign when most of your offense comes from the pitcher two games in a row.
  • Barney needs to start sending me a portion of his game checks. He’s had a huge offensive night 100% of the time when I’ve done the recap.
  • Stewart is a classic ‘Millennial.’ His sense of entitlement is laughable.
  • Marmol, to the others: “OK, so Jackson is the highest paid starter on the team. On the days he pitches, we’ll be awesome. But on the days he doesn’t, we’ll be mediocre at best.”
  • I now understand the title, this was all a ploy to get us talking about cookies to make us happy, instead of talking about the Cubs loss which makes us sad.
  • Crafty one that Cernak kid.
  • and then Jr Raker went yard to deep center for his first walk off bomb of his career.

Lizard

  • The best players are the best because they come in to the game in the tough situations and come through.

Shout Outs

A big shout out to the following contributor who submitted his first (and second!) 2013 Lizzie this time around. We’re happy to have you here!

  • Sean Powell

MVL

  • Congratulations to jswanson, the Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time around!

Top Ten of 2013 (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Seymour Butts
3. Eddie von White
4. Doc Raker
5. Jedi Johnson
5. Joe Aiello
7. Chuck
8. Buddy
9. Doug S.
10. Jeremiah Johnson
10. Katie
10. Noah Eisner

Chit Chat*

I don’t know whether to thank or swear at the friend who introduced us to a game called Running with Friends (iPhone or iPad) this week. It’s from the makers of the way-more-popular Words with Friends, but it’s completely different. It has nothing to do with words, but rather with running. And bulls. I’m addicted. My user name is elizababble if you’d like to give it a try and need an opponent.**  How about you? What’s your addiction?

* This has nothing to do with baseball.
** I take no responsibility for your lawn not getting mowed because you’re too busy running bulls!

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.

  • verncrowe5

    I’m addicted to Breaking Bad. A little late to the game, I understand, but I’ve been marathon watching to catch up.

  • Jerry in Wisconsin

    We clearly need to get Wood and Feldman to give our team some batting tips.

  • Seymour Butts

    Until VFTB I did not realize that computers had any other use than porn.

  • BLPCB

    Cubs lead the majors in pitcher RBIs

  • http://swantron.com/ jswanson

    Sandwiches on Seymour after he washes his hands!

  • BLPCB

    2 footlong meatball pepperoni subs on 9-grain wheat bread with provolone, toasted, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, spinach, green pepper, banana pepper, and ranch dressing please.

  • Jedi

    That’s a salad on bread.

  • Doc Raker

    Don’t eat Seymour’s coleslaw, just warnin.

  • Josh Cornwall

    What’s porn?

  • BLPCB

    It’s what the SEC watches on our tax dollars

  • BLPCB

    It’s a meatball pepperoni sandwich. I like to load my Subway sandwiches with veggies

  • BLPCB

    Not a fan of Cole’s Law

  • Jedi

    No, meatball pepperoni sandwiches don’t come with ranch dressing. You nasty CAPS.

  • BLPCB

    I love ranch dressing on that sandwich. It’s delicious. My uncle eats fruit with ranch dressing. I tried it once, and that is disgusting.

  • Doc Raker

    isn’t jswan the most valuable Lizzier every Girlieview?

  • http://pinterest.com/j0s1395/ Josephine (D)

    I’ve been told a certain pitcher is in that business(pr0n).

  • Eddie Von White

    My name is Eddie, and I am a Cubs addict. It started out innocent enough – I just went to one game at Wrigley, then another and pretty soon I couldn’t stop. When I wasn’t a Wrigley I found myself planning my day around 1:20 game time. I chose my college on whether or not I could get WGN on cable. I couldn’t get enough. I tried to quit in the 70’s and again in the 90’s. Finally I just gave up. I’m an addict.

  • BLPCB

    Awesome! I’m moving to a new place this weekend, and the guy I will be renting from loves the Cubs because of all the similarities to Boston. His grandson’s little league team is the Cubs, and he’s got WGN America because of the Cubs. I really hope when the TV contracts are up that they keep it national. I hope that they just do a short term deal to run concurrent with the CSN deal, and then once that deal is up, they get a mega long-term deal. Media rights are only going to increase as the years go on because sports will always be watched live which makes it very lucrative to advertisers.

  • Jerry in Wisconsin

    Well he is a computer guy. I bet he has a computer program designed to give him all of Lizzie’s favorite quotes and he pulls from that list.

  • Doc Raker

    He’s got those new fangled machine’s working for him, a most probable reason.

  • BLPCB

    And he steers clear of discussing politics, religion, and bodily functions.

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