GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of 2013 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Katie should be allowed to use a real picture as her avatar instead of whatever that thing is.
  • Next time you get discouraged by our rebuilding process and the lack of talent, watch a Marlins game and be encouraged.
  • I believe Villanueva’s mustache deserves a Lizzie all by it’s self.
  • I know maybe one person that has ever tuned in to that event.
  • Pull a Buddy and tune in somewhat drunk.
  • You know it’s bad when watching a Fantasy Baseball draft has more appeal…
  • Sappelt must have incriminating photos of Svuem or Theo or both.
  • Kameron Loe has quite the streak going. 9 IP, 9 HRs. I’ll be tuning in just for that excitement
  • Carrying 12 pitchers is ridiculous. It leads to some guy getting burried and forgotten at the end of the bullpen bench and as a result, rusting like the tin man.
  • I fully support Ian Stewart. I wish him a long career as a member of the Iowa Cubs
  • I’d even go as far as to root for them as Ham Fighters. Murton and LaHair could always use some new wacky neighbors…
  • I believe this means I am no longer a Lizard Virgin. I have become a man.
  • I still say Jedi and Norm are the same person.
  • Shit, Buddy is on to me.
  • I would say the team that scores more runs usually wins but if Dusty wants to go with 2 out hits to win so be it.
  • I extend my condolences to whomever has been charged with summarizing the piece of shit game that followed this piece of shit game.
  • I dined at home, but very much alone. Neither of the Swanson girls wanted anything to do with that sandwich.
  • At least the Cubs didn’t call up Rafael Dolis. Um…nevermind.
  • Teams that aren’t winning don’t need to stand pat with the status quo. When things aren’t working, try new things.
  • Who else thought at 9-0 in the 9th, we could lose this?
  • Whenever I start sliding past “scruffy looking” my wife starts giving me the side eye. Since she is the unquestioned dictator of this particular establishment, what she says goes.
  • The problem with those chicks, well beside the very low tooth-to-tattoo ratio, is that they tend to have a neck beards themselves.
  • To me that seems like a highly unusual decision for a guy who ought to be trying to work his way back to the majors.
  • I was merely listening to tonight’s game’s audio feed, but it sounded like Wood was throwing hard.
  • Wood had Wood?
  • Schier Joy
  • Carlos Marmol had another decent (and by decent I mean he didn’t surrender the 1-run lead) outing
  • And by sweet I mean frozen-chocolate-malt-in-a-cup-with-a-little-wooden-spoon sweet.
  • I had a dream last night that Gregg blew a save against the Cards. Closers have infiltrated my dreams. There is no hope.
  • Those are called nightmares.
  • Gregg is arguably our ace. Sleep soundly.
  • Overall, I feel there are four qualities that separate a winning baseball team from one that sits on middle ground or lower: defense, timely hitting, starting pitching and bullpen.
  • Timely Hitting is simply a product of 1) having good hitters, and 2) having players that can get on base. The Cubs lack these.
  • Kevin Gregg continues to be the lone bright spot in the pen. Prepare yourselves for the coming apocalypse.
  • I was in line with Castro at Disneyland and he said he says his most difficult hurdle is his last name. He thinks the constant knee-jerk criticism derives from the fact that his last name is most closely associated with communists and child molesting pervert brothers.
  • Any good mom would allow / encourage punching Pierzynski in the face.
  • Any good mom would punch Pierzynksi in the face herself.
  • Including Mrs. Pierzynski.
  • I’m not saying it’s time to trade Samardzija – but it’s certainly time to stop listing him as an untouchable.
  • To me it seems that Gregg’s pitches have more movement than the last time he pitched for the Cubs. It could also be that I do not want to remember his first stint with us.
  • I’m not a Valbuena guy either…but the .272/.385/.489 he’s put up so far is pretty damn solid.
  • Edwin?
  • This is a typical Cub situtation, the outcome if past experience is repeated is that we will make the best player unhappy, and the remainder will pitch poorly, and eventually be replaced by the unhappy player who will then pitch poorly, because he is not happy.
  • If you had to pick today, [Wood is] the Cubs’ All-Star and it’s not really close.
  • at least I can wear my “WE GOT WOOD” shirt again…
  • You used sporting and Wood in the same sentence.
  • I know that the history between these two franchises is inescapable, and that regardless of who comes out on top, the victory will be all the sweeter because of who they’ve beaten.

Lizard

  • 22 years ago today at 5:23 p.m. my daughter came into this world. Tonight at 5:23 p.m. my daughter and I will be at Wrigley Field prepping for the game. Life is good, even if the Cubs aren’t.

Shout Outs

A big shout out to the following readers who submitted their first 2013 Lizzie this time around. We’re happy to have you here!

  • Dave
  • The Whole Damn Show

MVL

Congratulations to jswanson, the Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time around!

Top Ten of 2013 (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Seymour Butts
3. Eddie von White
4. Doc Raker
5. Jedi Johnson
6. Joe Aiello
7. Chuck
8. Buddy
9. Doug S.
9. Jeremiah Johnson
9. Noah Eisner

Chit Chat

I’ve got nothing, so please throw out a topic of your choice for chatting, and see if anyone bites!

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.