View From The Bleachers

May 2, 2013

GirlieView (05/02/2013)

Filed under: Featured,General — Lizzie @ 2:00 pm

I had to wrap up the wrap up a few days early this time around but rest assured I’ll pick up next time right where I left off so none of your gems will be missed even if you just posted them within the last day or two.

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of 2013 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.


  • Long live the trough.
  • Jeff Baker helped hang the L flag again at Wrigley on Tuesday night
  • This Kevin Gregg talk wasn’t just a cruel joke?
  • Does nobody remember why we say “that Gregging MotherGregger sure Gregged things up last night” around here?
  • They aren’t REALLY going to college Rav.
  • In all fairness, those girls make their livings by schmoozing rubes from landlocked rural states. Seymour doesn’t stand a chance.
  • My sub will be roast beef today.
  • She then asked if I would like my meat warm.
  • A girlie view and a victory. What a Thursday.
  • This is making me hungry for trail mix.
  • It’s not just a baseball problem, it’s a societal problem.
  • His parents named him “Thom” for starters.
  • I tend to believe Lizzie since she is in the media room everyday.
  • Now scat.
  • Not everyone can be Adrian Peterson
  • Or Scott Peterson
  • Also, I’d like to note that the Cubs are 2-0 in games that I have recapped and 4-13 in games that anyone else has. And, no, I refuse to believe this is coincidence. This is clearly the one situation where 2 games is a significant sample size.
  • poor Carlos Villanueva
  • my thinking was that Svuem might have been trying to blow Marmol’s arm out
  • He was a decent running back, and had an unfortunate Flock of Seagulls Hairdo.
  • Villanueva may have figured out how to get a win, Go all nine innings so the bullpen does not blow the game for you.
  • It’s the stache. The hitter gets up there and he thinks Villanueva is smugly smiling at him and it messes with his brain and he can’t hit.
  • Garza completes successful Towel Drill session, appears ready by August.
  • A friend of mine likened the current iteration of the Cubs to a person going through a cleanse.
  • If anybody told me I would be watching Kevin Gregg piggyback a Carlos Marmol effort again in my lifetime, I would have told them to keep smoking what they are smoking and eventually they will pass out.
  • Nothing like a mid-April Blizzard to warm the cockles.
  • I understand that Marmol is the toxic that we are trying to get rid of, but we picked up Gregg, does that make him the enima?
  • Pretty sure we could just start re-using the same post for game reviews. Solid pitching performance by starter, no clutch hitting, etc. Maybe add a second one for extra innings games.
  • Don’t forget, “Barney did something gritty.”
  • We’ll need a Feldman-specific recap because even if he pitches well, he manages to boot a ball like a 3rd grader once a start.
  • He’s a comebacking line drive to the torso away from being adopted by Mark Prior.
  • Ian Stewart: “Has anybody here in Des Moines seen my swing? It was right here in my locker.” Nervous smile. “Seriously guys. Who took my swing? I am going to go take a shower and it had better be back in my locker when I get back.” Ian leaves the locker area and heads to the showers. As soon as Ian is in the showers Brett Jackson takes Ian’s swing out of his duffel bag and put it in Ian’s locker. Brett Jackson muttering to himself: “#$@& thing never worked anyway.” Fade to black.
  • Rock Shoulders has to make it to the Bigs so I can buy that jersey. Best name in the minors.
  • Any time that Len says, “Gregg is up in the bullpen,” I die a little on the inside.


  • The Cubs have had major struggles with games on the road, games where the bullpen needs to be involved, games that involve runners in scoring position, and games where they are required to field the baseball.

Shout Outs

A big shout out to the following reader who submitted his first 2013 Lizzie. ;-)

  • Drew Peterson


Congratulations to Chuck and Jedi Johnson the co-Most Valuable Lizzie’ers this time around!

Top Ten of 2013 (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Seymour Butts
3. Doc Raker
4. Eddie von White
5. Jedi Johnson
6. Joe Aiello
7. Chuck
8. Buddy
9. Noah Eisner
10. cap’n obvious

Chit Chat

Will you be attending any Cubs games this season? When and where?

Like what you see here? Never miss new content. Follow Us:

Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.

  • Jedi

    A big shout-out to a wife killer? No more berating Dave Sappelt for his chauvinistic tweets, Lizzie!

  • Joe Aiello

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but did I produce the Lizzard? If so, I believe this means I am no longer a Lizard Virgin. I have become a man.

  • Joe Aiello

    I believe you’re thinking of Drew Peterson. Scott Peterson is a producer of fine meat products in the Chicagoland area. It says so right here:


    There is a wife-killer named Scott Peterson

  • Jedi

    Yeah, her shout-out was to Drew Peterson – who I suspect also goes by the name Seymour Butts.

    But CAPS is right too…Peterson seems to be a ‘gonna kill your wife’ last name these days.


    What do you mean her shout-out was to Drew Peterson?

  • Jedi

    Do you have a hard time reading?

    “Shout Outs

    A big shout out to the following reader who submitted his first 2013 Lizzie.

    Drew Peterson”

    Copy that, hit CTRL+F and paste it in the box. It’s right above in the very easy to read text of the post.


    We were talking about 2 different things. My fault. We move on.

  • Joe Aiello

    I was being sarchastic


    I love his website description: “If you’re from Chicago, then you know Scott Petersen”
    Well I never heard of him until now

  • Lizzie

    You did indeed. Now go have a smoke. ;-)

  • Lizzie

    If Dave Sappelt ever said anything funny I’d reward him too. I don’t discriminate. Unless you get on my sh!t list. Then good luck to ya!

  • Seymour Butts

    And a big shout out to all of you Petersonophilles.
    Just trying to keep the line moving.

  • Seymour Butts

    Anybody else conjure up a mental image of Joe’s icon in a bathrobe having a smoke? Between that and today’s 8th inning, I’m not sure I’ll be able to eat dinner tonight.

  • Josephine (D)

    It’s probably slim to none that I’ll be going to a Cubs game this season, seeing as it would cheaper to see either the Tigers or the Indians, although the most convenient of all are the Mud Hens, who are only a few miles away.

    However, I am trying to watch my attitude and am also desperately searching for a job so we can save up some money. But my graduation is in 3 weeks(!) and it’s in Virginia, then I have a pageant in late June/early July, so money will be tight for a while unless Mom gets a better job or I get a job.

    Then again, we’re talking about moving either to Cincinnati, SE Michigan, or back to Indiana(it wouldn’t be the same town we lived in before though), which would make catching the Cubs more probable.

    Right now, I’m angrier than a hornet who wasn’t killed by bug spray.


    My chances are also slim to none. If I am in Boston the entire season then no, because the Cubs don’t come to town. If I am able to return to Chicago, then hopefully the Cubs will be making a trip to one of the cities I plan to visit on the way home.

  • Jedi

    The kids are the first to answer the question. Has Chris Hansen taught you nothing?

  • jswanson

    Get a room guys.

  • Eddie Von White

    Sounds like you have a bee in your bonnet.

  • Chuck

    I don’t like my chances of getting in a Little League game tonight. What with the 4 inches of snow on the ground. In MAY!

    I am going to write a letter to my local electric company requesting that they utilize their coal plant more because I could really use some global warming right now. It was 80 out a week ago…


    Where is it snowing right now? I remember something like this 6 years ago. 80s and then 5 days later it was snowing. That pissed me off too, because I was supposed to go to the Cubs game the day it snowed, and then I couldn’t go to the make-up game because they jacked up the ticket price.
    Do they play night games in Little League? My league you got one night game a year, but I couldn’t go because it was going to end too late. It got rained out, the makeup was a day game on a Saturday, I had a pretty good game. I got 2 hits, including an RBI single, stole a base, got thrown out trying to steal a base, and then because of that caught stealing, I had to pinch-run 2x in the same inning and scored both times. And I threw a runner out at 1st.

  • Eddie Von White

    My goodness, you have a good memory.

  • Chuck

    It has been snowing in Des Moines since yesterday morning when the rain turned to snow. It was 80 on Monday.

    We only play Little League games during the week anymore due to the proliferation of USSSA tournament baseball. Many Leagues are renting their fields on the weekend to host tournament games to make ends meet. Sadly, Little League has been turned into rec ball at the upper age groups and may disappear altogether soon. I am not sure this is a good thing. USSSA is very expensive compared to Little League ($100 vs $800 or so) and will drive out players who can’t afford to pay that much. My kids mainly play USSSA because they want to play more than 15 games a year and Little League was far too easy for them, But there should always be somewhere for kids to play if they want to play.


    My team was the Dodgers, and we beat the Braves.


    Wow that sucks. I stopped with youth league sports after 8th grade, and that was 11 years ago. My youth league baseball and basketball was under the local park district. My off-season swimming in high school was also under the same park district, before I moved, where it was part of the local school club.

    Agreed on the last part, and where I was, the head of the youth league was very generous with that. In 7th grade, I should have been playing in the Pony League, but I had played in a different Pony League earlier that year and the coach and league head said after 1 game I had to be removed from it because I wasn’t ready, and it was too dangerous, the top pitchers could throw 85 mph (MLB equivalent of 100 mph). So the head allowed me to play an extra year in the 5th grade-6th grade league.

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