As of the writing of this column I’ve seen only one game. But boy was it nice! Hope you’re enjoying the first week of what will hopefully be a great 2013 season. I don’t have super high expectations, but I know I will thoroughly enjoy it nonetheless.

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of 2013 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)
  • As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Here’s what to do: Build a floating Wrigley Replica on Lake Michigan, able to turn 360 degrees. On those windy Chicago days, we can turn the field so the wind is blowing out when the Cubs are batting and then rotate so the wind is howling in when the Cubs are on defense.  Fans will get to the park on a number of ferries (or better yet, fairies), named after mediocre Cubs players of the 1990′s (The Beuchele, The Wilkins…etc.)
  • I like it, can’t wait to ride on the George Mitterwald ferry.
  • It is definitively better than the Steve Swisher ferry.
  • I’ll take the Rey Sanchez.
  • I’ll enjoy some complimentary black licorice aboard the S.S. Turk Wendell.
  • It is not possible to enjoy black licorice.
  • book my spot on the Ryan Ferriot, please.
  • Ferriot would coincidentally be the celebrity mash-up name for bemulleted Cajun infielders Theriot and Fontenot.
  • Book me a ticket for the Matt Karchner ferry
  • I’ll make this very simple. The Cubs aren’t leaving Wrigley Field.
  • My favorite MLB parks are the ones you can walk to from your downtown hotel.
  • If I’m not mistaken, Buddy was in a band in college called The Arrogant Ass-Hats.
  • That post was far too sour for a Friday. Hungover? Jermajusty hit you up for some money? Lumpy oatmeal?
  • Look at it this way: I’m already in mid-season form.
  • My bracket is a lot like Nick Nolte. For a very brief time it looked promising before it all started going downhill…and fast.
  • Hot dogs at Wrigley with Ernie Banks. Of course it should be a double-header.
  • If I was a betting man, I’d expect Girardi to retire in late-July/early-August only to be replaced by a hairless no-name who likes to bet the ponies.
  • Let me start by passing along belated birthday greetings to our beloved blogfather, Joe Aiello. Joe shares his birthday with Starlin Castro, which is fitting since they both exhibit surprising skills for their respective ages.
  • Anyone catch Marmol’s performance last night? I’m setting the Over/Under on games he blows for us in the first two weeks at 5.5. Theo’s a great salesman, but there’s no way he trade him for anything but a bag of baseballs and a copy of MLB The Show 2008.
  • MLB The Show 2008, more like a game of Pac Man.
  • I’ll see your Pac Man and raise you Atari Circus
  • If there are 5.5 save opportunities in the first 2 weeks, we will be delighted, blown or not (saves that is)
  • Where is Tommy? No wifi in cell block C?
  • Any time you have the chance to add an older bad player to the roster you have to pull the trigger, right?
  • Ginger and Maryann
  • As we so often have in the past, Jedi and I are greeting this season with cautious, guarded optimism, with our loins firmly girded for that inevitable moment when the worst happens.
  • I can’t speak for California, but certain Subways in Southern Washington offer sandwich patrons complimentary Dinner With Seymour ™ punch cards.
  • I’ve got no use for geography.
  • Love Shark’s effort today – however why is he pitching this late into the game??
  • Because Marmol is going to blow it.
  • I’d almost forgotten that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach watching Marmol with a 3-0 lead single-handedly put the go ahead run at the plate.
  • Dale Sveum Showed Everyone His Balls
  • PNC Park has one of the best centerfield cameras I’ve seen in the game.
  • Deshaies speaks in a natural conversational tone and style, as opposed to the stilted “player-speak” so prevalent on other broadcasts.
  • Keith is hitting his stride on the audio broadcast side of things. He has started loosening up and providing some solid insight.
  • Remember when Shark was a wide receiver at Notre Dame? He sure was great.
  • Just the entrance of Marmol should cause a drop in Win Probability.
  • Someone had to take the mound yesterday, but that shouldn’t be the only qualification to be an “ace.”
  • pay me a quarter of what he is making and I will go out and walk a few guys.
  • Work on your batsman hits. Marmol saves arm wear-and-tear by hitting batsmen.
  • They are assets and asset management is important in building a competitive team.
  • I”m also pretty sure that hitters don’t walk up to the plate thinking “I’m going to swing at crap pitches today.”
  • gone are the days when ML stars become minor league coaches (I know, Rhyno, few others) their coin purse is too full.
  • You lost me at coin purse.
  • It’s the fist sized clutch inside of Raker’s Gucci murse.
  • It takes a big coin purse to carry a murse.

Lizard

  • On pace for 162-0.

Shout Outs

A big shout out to the following readers who submitted their first 2013 Lizzie. We’re so happy to have you here!

  • Jim Hickman
  • Josh Cornwall

MVL

  • Congratulations to jswanson the Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time around!

Top Ten of 2013 (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Seymour Butts
3. Doc Raker
4. Eddie von White
5. Jedi Johnson
6. Joe Aiello
7. Chuck
8. Gymjok
8. Noah Eisner
10. Buddy

Chit Chat

What’s the best Cubs-related thing you’ve seen so far this season? I was happy to see Dale be willing to pull Marmol. I’d have rathered he not need to, but we didn’t need to start off the season with a loss of that nature. How about you, what have you enjoyed already in this young season?

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.