Pitchers and catchers report to spring training on Monday. Yippee! I know it doesn’t really mean anything and we’ll be bored yet for a few more weeks (or months depending on whether you’re fond of spring training or not) but it’s still nice to know things are getting started. And speaking of getting started, let’s go!

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of 2013 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • the thought that Delmon Young could play enough in the field to be worth a roster spot at this point is almost comical.
  • Raker D. asked if Sori was going to use his 14″ outfielders glove at 3B, or switch to a more conventional 11.5″ model.
  • Ms Muskrat replied That Soriano at 3B was no longer funny and Mr D should stop the emails, cards, candy-grams and flowers he has been showering her way to make that happen. She also pointed out that she has no actual sway over the roster as Theo banned her from the press room for  asking about Neil Diamond songs late last year.
  • I believe Hairston will platoon nicely with his new similarly-sort-of-average mates Nate Sherhairzt and David DeHairstus.
  • We’ve been in hairy situations before. I think it’s best to avoid them altogether.
  • self-promotion is the mating call of the mute button
  • It has to happen naturally. You can’t force a Lizzie.
  • Cumin Vegas
  • Aramis Banana
  • Sam Adams Golfing
  • Tulip Douglas
  • Dill Weed Panama
  • Freddy French Lick
  • You don’t trade a guy because he’s blocked at his position when he’s still 3-4 years before being ready. Develop him and see what happens.
  • I’ll wait until Vogelbach gets a couple of seasons in before deciding whether he’s going to fail or not.
  • Just 12 months ago, not too many people thought Jeff Samardzija could possibly turn into a top 60 pitcher
  • I have every confidence that you can more than compensate for my lack of snark in your comments below.
  • My local Outback Steakhouse has only a few precious years remaining to add a drive through so I can be buried at 48 with my beloved Bloomin Onion.
  • No famous folks here (except me) this year.
  • A few years ago I couldn’t even spell single A, now I know about some of the Cubs players there.
  • You guys are mean.
  • My guess is the Hairston signing really puts the future of Dave Sappelt in jeopardy with the Cubs.
  • I’ve dined with Joe. He’s quite fetching, but could never be confused with a Sarah.
  • And as everyone who has ever watched the Simpsons knows…it’s the growing done during the 5th and 6th months that make it ok to subject your infant to the freezing cold temperatures of a wintery Midwest.
  • anxiously anticipating that first, glorious moment of seeing 9 of your favorite men skip over the white chalk line and trot out to their respective places on the field.
  • Sharing a fifteen-dollar helmet bowl of nachos with a close friend, heckling the opposing left fielder with your younger brother, discussing the likelihood of a go-ahead home run from Reed Johnson with your father, and getting a wink from Anthony Rizzo as he ducks into the dugout cannot be replicated anywhere else.
  • Theo must of forgotten to include a chapter titled “Don’t Do Stupid S*** On Twitter” when he distributed the Cubs Way manuals to the squad last year.
  • What’s funny is that in most instances, these guys could communicate the same ideas and sentiments without coming off like insensitive jerks.
  • Artie Lange was able to get media credentials?  That should be a story itself.
  • Yours truly has been selected as one of the top 52 finalist for the MLB FanCave!
  • The visual didn’t bother me…it was the grotesque sound of the kissing, especially in surround sound.

Lizard

  • I could care less if anyone is gay.  There is precious little happiness int his world so if loving someone who looks a lot like you in the mirror makes you happy, go for it.  Choose love people.  Don’t choose hate.  You are the sum of your actions and feelings so make those actions and feelings positive.

MVL

  • Congratulations to Chuck the Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time around!

Shout Outs

Many thanks and congratulations to the following folks who contributed their very first 2013 Lizzie!

  • Bryan
  • CAPS
  • Katie
  • Norm

Top Ten of 2013 (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Seymour Butts
3. Doc Raker
4. Buddy
5. Eddie von White
6. Chuck
6. Gymjok
6. Jedi Johnson
6. Joe Aiello
10. cap’n obvious
10. Noah Eisner

Chit Chat

Don’t forget to vote for Katie in the MLB Fan Cave contest. Voting continues until February 13! And speaking of caves, tell us about your man cave, or wherever you like to go when you need some time away from the grind.

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.