It still looks like winter in Buddyland, but Cubs baseball is right around the corner. As I think about the 2013 season over another cold beverage, my mind drifts to a few phrases that won’t come out of my mouth this summer:

  • “Man, that Darwin Barney can really hit.”
  • “Another great defensive play by Alfonso Soriano.”
  • “I sure miss Koyie Hill.”
  • “Ian Stewart crushed that ball.”
  • “And Carlos Marmol slams the door in the ninth.”
  • “Nice at bat by Josh Vitters.”
  • “Valbuena spelled backwards is…”
  • “I sure miss Marlon Byrd.”
  •  “You give me nine Jeff Bakers and I’ll give you the pennant.”
  • “Jeff Samardzija’s hair looks fine the way it is.”
  • “I can’t wait to hear today’s guest singer for the seventh inning stretch.”
  • “We need more political talk on VFTB.”
  • “Bring in Dontrelle Willis.”
  • “Why don’t the Cubs bunt more often? They need to play some small ball.”
  • “James Russell was underrated as a starting pitcher.”
  • “I sure miss Bob Brenly.”
  • “The fans did a super job with this year’s All Star Game voting.”
  • “That guy just knows how to win.”
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