Welcome to 2013′s first GirlieView. The slates have been wiped clean and we’ve got brand new commentary, counts, wit and wisdom. I wish a wonderful 2013 to all of you and yours, and of course to our beloved Cubbies!

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of 2013 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims. Let’s go!

Lizzies

  • I know the Cubs have worse players than Marmol, but he drives me insane. I probably need to seek professional help at this point.
  • Best-Theo and Jed discovered VFTB and now have a new source for ideas. Worst-Theo and Jed discovered VFTB and now have a new source for ideas.
  • truck nuts?
  • The best thing about the 2012 Cubs is that they still existed in the MLB. The worst thing about the 2012 Cubs is that they had to play actual MLB talent.
  • Best – The Cubs were on the field in April. Worst – The Cubs were not on the field in October.
  • Not much occurred in the baseball world on Boxing Day (by the way, we should really celebrate that here in the US)
  • Whatever your feelings towards any president, party or their policies, respect for the office and remembering that politicians are human beings is important.
  • Alfonso Soriano has as much chance of starting at 3B for the Cubs, as Carlos Marmol does of starting at 3B.
  • Marmol is moving to catcher.
  • I’d prefer Tony Campana behind the plate.  He could “crouch” from a standing position, and “throw out runners” in foot races.
  •  If [Ian Stewart] gets to 81 before being benched/put in the ICU it would be a miracle.
  • I got what I wanted for Christmas.  A happy wife and some new tools to play with .
  • Oh Man, I thought you said a happy tool and a new wife…
  • Hisanori Takahashi is the poor man’s Kyuji Fujikawa.
  • The Cubs are the poor man’s Cubs, so it’s a perfect fit.
  • I’m an aging lefty who can mix up my pitches and get them across the plate. As long as ibuprofen is not a banned substance, I’d be interested in talking to Thed.
  • At Randy’s camp you get the Cubs real trainers, at the WK you get Seymour carrying a bag of ice.
  • Yes in 1 month I will be forced to substitute diner with Raker for dinner with a couple dozen former Cubs, likely a left handed attorney and a few actors, rock stars and hockey players. They on the other hand get stuck with dinner with me.
  • Staying home with the wife and ringing in the new year in style….. Asleep on the couch by 11:30 pm!
  • I am making pizza. Then sleep. Lather, rinse and repeat.
  • 52 days till Spring Training.
  • there is just something magical about Chicago for Johnson
  • trading for Koyie Hill in what amounted to nothing more than a catcher booty call.
  • and Geovany Soto was moved late to the Rangers in a separate move than Dempster, which opened playing time for Wellington Castillo and broke poor Lizzie’s heart.
  • I’m excited about 2013, not because I think we’ll compete for the playoffs, but because I like the direction and philosophy this team is operating on.
  • Hopefully I can help make the transition from sweatpants and naps to shoes and productivity a little easier this morning.
  • There is almost nothing on earth more hazardous to your health than a blooming onion.
  • An onion is a vegetable.  Vegetable oil is a vegetable.  Flour is ground grain…a vegetable.  I’m surprised you didn’t learn about the health benefits of a vegetable-rich diet in med school.
  • Ass a couple large beers, while your at it.
  • this is just something that celebrities will have to deal with as long as we live in a free society.
  • I get it every time I leave my house. Who would have thought a small blog would cause me such hardship and lack of privacy.
  • Perhaps you should field a question or two…I’m still waiting to hear what happened to Sherm.
  • Sherm is healthy and happy. He’s moved to rural North Carolina. They might not have the interwebs where he is.
  • Is anybody in the U.S. following the world junior hockey tournament in Russia?
  • I doubt even the parents of the U.S. team are following the world junior hockey tournament in Russia.
  • Well the Appalachian vernacular should keep you mired safely in Lizzie obscurity.
  • Seymour has one of those mechanical robots, I think his blows up and has tassels.
  • She doesn’t like to be called a robot. She prefers Vinyl-American.
  • Some Joker named Raker D from Huntington’s Chorea, CA asked Carrie Muscat about putting Soriano at 3rd. I thought Lizzie already answered that.
  • His pitch is going as well as Ralph’s pitch to his mother for the BB gun.
  • File this under “pissing in the wind”
  • Things got weird Buddy.  Doc Raker a.k.a. Raker D managed to ask Lizzie a.k.a Carrie Muskrat the worn out thing about Sori bagging up at 3rd, which somehow got published on cubs.com.  I wouldn’t be surprised if Turk Wendell ends up in our rotation at this point.
  • Can Turk Wendell play third?
  • I’m not sure how many bloomin’ onions one would have to consume in order to completely loose sight of one’s twig and berries, but it must be a few.
  • Back on the View From the Dome blog back when Biggio was a catcher I floated the idea of Biggio moving to second base. I was met with negativity, I was told I was crazy and all the VFTD experts knew it couldn’t ever happen.
  • So I guess you were Postgrad Raker.
  • How old was Biggio when he moved to second base?  26?  At the height of his athletic peak/performance…or close to it?  Was he a bum-kneed, gimpy running 37 year old like Soriano?
  • Do not try to inject logic into this process. Raker has a strong immunity to it and will swat it away like book learning to a country singer.
  • Seymour Boots had similar anti-Postgrad Raker sentiments on the Astros blog.
  • So did the fat guy eat all the news reporters yesterday and that is why we do not have news today?
  • The Adrian Era couldn’t carry the Tommy Era’s jockstrap.
  • No matter how much the Tommy Era would want it to…
  • got my Niekros in a twist.

Lizard

  • Brevity is the soul of wit.

MVL

  • Congratulations to jswanson the Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time around!

Shout Outs

Congratulations to the following folks who contributed their very first 2013 Lizzie! (Yes, this is everyone since it’s the first week of 2013.) Bones, Buddy, cap’n obvious, Chuck, Doc Raker, Doug S., Dous Entendre, Dusty Baylor, Eddie von White, Gymjok, Jedi Johnson, Jeremiah Johnson, Jerry in Wisconsin, Joe Aiello, Josh H, jswanson, Noah Eisner, Seymour Butts, Tom C, Verncrowe5

Top Ten of 2013 (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. jswanson
2. Seymour Butts
3. Eddie von White
4. Doc Raker
4. Joe Aiello
6. Jedi Johnson
7. Buddy
7. cap’n obvious
7. Chuck
7. Dusty Baylor
7. Jerry in Wisconsin
7. Noah Eisner

Chit Chat

Let’s see, January 10th, does anyone have any New Year’s Resolutions you haven’t given up on yet that you’d like to share with us? In lieu of sharing yours personally, maybe share some resolutions you’d like to see the Cubs make (and keep!) for 2013.

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.