View From The Bleachers

November 15, 2012

GirlieView (11/15/2012)

Filed under: Featured,General — Lizzie @ 2:00 pm

A nice slow week around these parts.

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks)
  • Top 10 of 2012 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims. Let’s go!

Lizzies

  • Ian Stewart proved he is not an impact hitter
  • Ian Stewart proved he is not a hitter.
  • Your ideas are obviously well-thought-out.  Not sure you belong here.
  • I would love to be a fly on the wall at Brandon Phillips house- I bet he used curse words when he found out Barney gets the Gold.
  • Oh no.  Please disregard everything we say.
  • I’m just relieved you didn’t take Seymour’s advice with respect to your Halloween costume.
  • Live a little.
  • Any relation to Jeff Baker?
  • Distant cousin from a small Mediterranean island.  They shared an apartment.
  • Do Laverne and Shirley stop by?
  • They were pulling the cool Baker in a speedboat when he ski-jumped over Smarja.
  • I think I’ve identified the problem. You still get your news from the papers.
  • I understand they now allow newspapers on airplanes as well.
  • I’m outraged.  A rolled-up newspaper is nearly as lethal as a box cutter.
  • Major League Baseball continues to move toward expanding instant replay at a glacial pace.
  • After namining one of his sons Jermajesty, Jermaine Jackson should have had his naming liscense taken away.
  • Jer, Jedi, and Jermajesty Johnson.
  • Funny story–my parents almost named me Jermajesty, but then they stopped huffing paint.
  • Imagine trying to get a job interview if your name was Jermajesty Johnson…probably not going to happen.  You’d have to change it to something more professional, like Jermajusty Johnsun.
  • Do the Hanson Brothers still play for the Chiefs?
  • I think they started a band.
  • I’d need to get the prospect I think is number 4 in the system to pull the trigger at this point.
  • I’ve always had the feeling that they and Dale know what button to push to motivate Sori.

Lizard

  • Now that the 2012 season is officially over (remind me to send God a thank you note on that)

MVL

  • Congragulations to jswanson, the Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time around!

2012 Top Ten YTD

1. Jeremiah Johnson
2. Doc Raker
3. jswanson
4. Seymour Butts
5. Jedi Johnson
6. cap’n Obvious
7. Buddy
8. Joe Aiello
9. Chuck
10. Eddie Von White

Chit Chat

I can’t believe we’re only one week from Thanksgiving. What’s your favorite aspect of the holiday? Food? Family? Football? Some other F word I’m not remembering to mention? Tell us your traditions.

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.

  • BLPCB

    You’re forgetting the word that rhymes with muck.

    My favorite parts of Thanksgiving are a big workout the night before to get ready for 4 days of gut-busting, watching football.

    Public safety reminder to everyone: Don’t set your house on fire if you deep-fry your turkey.

  • Seymour Butts

    Frosting-spoon-suck is actually 3 words.

  • http://swantron.com/ jswanson

    Drinks on Raker!

  • Chuck

    Chuck shut out of the Lizzies!  This make Chuck sad.

  • Doug S.

    I’m in Vancouver but take your Thanksgiving off work each year to put up the tree, watch football and we cook a turkey dinner. With the joke Jets playing the hated Pats that night I’m hoping the turkey stays where I put it.

    I’ve been in the limbo also known as LackofLizzieLand for a long time.

  • http://swantron.com/ jswanson

    1) Leftovers

    2) Being dismissive regarding Black Friday shopping stories

  • Chuck

    Unfortunately, I will be dragged to Black Friday sales with my wife so I can serve the role of “stand in line guy” “lifter of heavy objects guy”.  Only the vague promise of happy fun time keeps me going…

  • BLPCB

    Isn’t our Columbus Day your Thanksgiving Day and you feast then?

  • Jedi

    Deep dish pizza on Thanksgiving…you know that’s how the Pilgrims would’ve preferred it.

  • Bryan

    Been there…

  • BLPCB

    Black Friday sucks. Don’t stores realize they’re playing a prisoners dilemma by offering their specials earlier and earlier every year?

  • BLPCB

    Another argument in favor of never getting married

  • BLPCB

    Oh yes. Just like Friday shopping.

  • Jedi

    Rapt listener here, cannot wait to hear the entirety of your list…

  • Jedi

    I can’t remember where I recently heard it said – only in America, the day after we give thanks for all that we have, we wait in line to buy everything we want.  Thanksgiving followed by Wantstaking

  • BLPCB

    I can curse at the TV while watching sports
    I can go out to a bar until 2AM and not have to answer to anyone

  • http://swantron.com/ jswanson

    Great Black Friday deals were had in colonial Plymouth for three-corner hats, breeches, and shoes with giant buckles.  

  • Seymour Butts

    A multi-generational tradition in the Butts house is a variation of the old Newhart “Hi, Bob” drinking game. While watching a football game, every time the announcer says that a player “plays the game hard”, we throw a turkey leg at the person to our left. If there is mention that a player “has come to play”, the gravy boat is emptied down the pants of the 3rd eldest person in the room. Mention of “a gamer” results in dinner rolls being thrown at the screen. That used to be the gravy boat, but Uncle Stinky got tired of replacing TV sets.  

  • Seymour Butts

    My sincere congrats on pandering done well.

  • Doc Raker

    Do you guys have the metv network? I have been watching the Bob Newhart Show, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, the Dick Van Dyke Show and the Rockford Files on the metv network. Great shows- just don’t make TV shows that way anymore Jimbo. I am having Mr Peterson and Elliot Carlin over for Thanksgiving, that is if Captain Howard Borden flys them in on time.

  • Doug S.

    Yep…..I’m cheating by getting 2

  • Jedi

    That’s all?

  • Jedi

    There was a run on candles.

  • Buddy

     Big fan of the Rockford Files. Very under rated show.

  • Jedi

    There may be hope for you yet.

  • Buddy

     Are you even old enough to know about the Rockford Files?

  • http://elizababble.com/ Lizzie

    Ahhh, The Rockford Files. My cousin played the harmonica on the theme song for that show.

  • Eddie Von White

     Very good CAPS

  • BLPCB

    So far yes. The list is a work in progress. But isn’t that enough?

  • Doc Raker

    Great theme song- How come Dennis never trusts Jimbo? Dennis is always so skeptical of Jimbo, you would think he would learn Jimbo is for real. Now Angel is a different story, you can’t trust Angel, right Rocky!

  • Chuck

    Honestly, if I wasn’t married and had kids I would have no idea what to do with myself.  

  • Cap’n obvious

    What a great idea. The traditional Thanksgiving Lou Malnatis. I just received a 6 pack yesterday. Cheese and sausage. I believe Seymour refers to this product as “job security.”

  • Gymjok

    LOL

  • Gymjok

    Lets see if I remember this correctly.
    Bob and Emily are being held at gun-point with their hands up against the wall.
    Howard walks in and Bob and Emily yell help to him.
    So Howard runs over to the wall and puts his hands up against the wall.
    The gunman leaves and Bob and Emily walk away from the wall.
    Howard frantically says, what are you doing, I can’t hold this wall up by myself!

  • Gymjok

    I love the Mary Tyler Moore show theme song.
    (could this be an off-season Lizzie subject question in the making-
    what’s your favorite TV shows theme song?)

  • Seymour Butts

    Are you inviting your brothers Darrell?

  • Jedi

    Angel Martin might be the best TV character in history.

  • Gymjok

    Doc is not familiar with Newhart- which is the show Bob Newhart did
    after The Bob Newhart Show.(this is starting to sounding like Jon Stewart) 

  • http://swantron.com/ jswanson

    The Golden Girls.  Hands down.  

  • Jerry in Wisconsin

    I always thought you were supposed to have pizza and a movie on Friday, while all the crazzies go shopping.

  • BLPCB

    I always lifeguard 10 hours the day after

  • Doc Raker

    The Vermont Newhart- the last episode of that is the best- doesn’t Suzanne Pleshette (Emily) make an appearance on that episode along with other characters from the first Bob Newhart show?

    I do really dig the Rockford Files theme song, the harmonica and whatever other instrument is being used is pretty good. Dig the answering machine to start the show. Last night Jimbo’s gun was stolen from his cookie jar and used in a homicide. Dennis down at LAPD didn’t believe him, Dennis needs to help Jimbo out.

    The Ted Baxter and Lou Grant dynamic is one of the best in TV history.

  • Doc Raker

    Truth be told, men who never marry are less productive than married men and less happy. Chasing skirts in bars can only entertain one so long. Raising children with a beloved spouse is as fullfilling as life gets, everything else is just filler to keep one busy.

  • BLPCB

    The best place to find a hot babe is at a gym, not at a bar.

  • BLPCB

    Just found out I’m going to have to deal with them this year. I got my first job in retail this year, instead of lifeguarding 10 hours on Black Friday, I get to work there for 10 hours on Black Friday. And in fact, I am still going to lifeguard 5 hours. Yippie!

  • Seymour Butts

    Everthing else but baseball.

  • Doc Raker

    Why don’t you give us a preview of Randy’s camp? Who’s favored? Who to watch? Where one can stay if they choose to travel to Mesa to spectate? Where to get a $5 foot long while in Mesa? Break it down for us Seymour.

  • Eddie Von White

    Exactly how I feel.

  • http://twitter.com/JCStats Josh Cornwall

    My wit-well has run dry. As has my quest for a Top 10 Lizzie finish in 2012.

  • http://twitter.com/JCStats Josh Cornwall

    This is my wife and I’s first Thanksgiving away from our families. It’s going to be kind of weird, just the two of us. Here. In the Deep, Deep, Dirty South. 

    Am I supposed to fry the turkey?

  • BLPCB

    No. Deep-fry. And please don’t set your house on fire if you do in fact deep-fry it. My public safety announcement every Thanksgiving.

  • Buddy

     I would suggest using the smoker this year.

  • http://swantron.com/ jswanson

    Word has it that the pitching machine has been going gangbusters on the towel workouts.  It has developed a mean cutter and a deadly circle change.  

  • Eddie Von White

    Invite an elderly person over who is alone or someone who is down and out. That’s what my wife and I did on our first Thanksgiving 2000 miles from family. It was great.  The down and outer stood us up, but the elderly gentleman was abundantly grateful. It’s been our tradition ever since.

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