I’ll be honest, I’m still giddy from the Cardinals’ elimination from the postseason Monday night. And regardless of the spectacular and endlessly satisfying outcome, how beautiful were those final moments of monsoon baseball? I’m sure many of them are suffering from low-grade pneumonia right now, but I’m a little jealous of the fans who got to witness Game 7 live in the rain-soaked stands. On to the news:

The Cubs have named a new third base coach and made some other moves to round out the coaching staff. Nothing groundbreaking here–just some housekeeping before the offseason stove heats up.

Elsewhere in the National League, if you had October 23rd in your When Will Ozzie Guillen Get Fired pool, congratulations. After spending more than $630M on a new stadium and much more on filling out the roster, Guillen’s praise for Fidel Castro hobbled what might have been a breakout season just as it was starting. The question I’m left with, and the one I want your thoughts on below is if Ozzie is even employable in the big leagues right now. Is there a team that can afford to take a risk on him, with all the guaranteed headaches he brings with him? I say it’s possible there’s a team for him, but I think it’s far more likely he has to head down to the minors and earn some trust before another GM hands him the keys.

And in other disgruntled former manager news, Bobby Valentine isn’t finished burning bridges yet. Tuesday Valentine accused Big Papi himself of quitting on the team after the blockbuster (and ultimately futile) trade between the Red Sox and the Dodgers. You can read his version of the story in his forthcoming memoir, I Never Had to Put Up With This Crap in Japan. (And just for fun, let’s extend the whole “is he unemployable” discussion to Bobby V, too.)

Tuesday was a big day for Apple devotees. In addition to the debut of the new iPad Mini, Apple announced a whole wave of improved and updated products, including a new full-sized iPad and a radically sleeker iMac.

I’m no political mastermind, so I have to ask: is combining your opponent’s name with a mental disorder and adopting worn-out tropes from Jeff Foxworthy’s standup supposed to be a sign that your campaign is going well? Stay classy, Mr. President.

Big news for travelers here: the TSA is swapping out the controversial Backscatter security scanners–or in the parlance of our time, the naked x-ray machines–in most major airports. Soon frequent flyers won’t be subject to regular tidal waves of radiation, not to mention the possibility of TSA lowlifes posting their naked x-rays online.

It won’t be often that back-to-back stories in my morning news posts will involve nudity, but this story was too bizarre not to post. The man ate his own finger!

A top-ten list of amazing parking spaces. What more do you need to know.

Let’s try to go out on a high note: the first trailer for Iron Man 3 premiered Tuesday. And if it’s your kind of thing, here’s an collection of 10 revelations and/or insights the intensely observant viewer can draw from the trailer.

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