I’ve discovered the best thing about the baseball season being over! It was so much fun to go through only 11 posts this time around to award the Lizzies! No offense to any of my wonderful brothers (and sister Katie) here in the VFTB writer family, but the 3-post-per-day schedule was killing me when the GirlieView rolled around. My eyes would cross reading through 35′ish posts to pick some good quotes, much like I’m sure your eyes crossed reading the long list of Lizzies. Enjoy this delightfully humorous and brief collection!
- Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
- Lizard = The best Lizzie.
- MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks)
- Top 10 of 2012 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard)
As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims. Let’s go!
- Thin Lizzies.
- Don’t accuse us of having wit and wisdom – then we might have to live up to that at some point.
- Our hefty new Cubs fan arrived in early August. We will tell him about the Olympics and not about the Cubs’ season when he asks about the summer he was born.
- I’m ready for the off-season and for the rebuilding. Let’s get to it.
- You won’t win my favor (or that of most here) by visiting Joe’s house and taking a dump in his living room.
- Fun size would be to double the amount of candy – now that would be fun.
- Didn’t Wittenmeyer pick Oakland to come in last in the NL West?
- beg your pardon, in the AL West.
- I just figured Wittenmeyer probably did pick them to finish last in the NL West.
- The Cubs might want to lay off drafting too many more guys whose best & only position is DH.
- there are no Lizzie’s in politics
- I would like to point out, because I am vain, that I am the only VFTB contributor that has both World Series teams still in play from our preseason predictions.
- You mean the Angels and Brewers didn’t make it?
- Don’t get me wrong, I hate the mullet wearing bastards, but man I respect the hell the way they play.
- I think it’s worth noting that this team lost the game’s best player, arguably the game’s best manager and they soldier on as if none of it matters.
- If the MLB didn’t change the Wild Card to two teams the Cardinals are not even in the playoffs
- Curse the Nats for sitting their ace because of the fear of the unknown.
- I have seen the Capn make an error on a routine ground ball hit very slowly right at him by a 68 year old taxidermist who goes home to first in 7.8 days.
- If you had to eat anyone on VFTB, who would it be and why?
- Well I will tell you who I wouldn’t eat… Raker, because Italian is too filling, Swanson, because I’ve had my fill of TV dinners, The Johnsons, because, well I don’t go that way, CAPS, just on general principle.
- Maybe we’ve hit on something the Cubs can use. Say in spring training a back up 3rd baseman gets shot by a cuckolded husband. Should be good for a few extra victories in April. Then in May a relief pitcher is found dead on the toilet of “accidental asphyxiation”… one dead athlete a month may put us in the playoffs.
- Congratulations to Jedi Johnson, the Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time around!
2012 Top Ten YTD
1. Jeremiah Johnson
2. Doc Raker
4. Seymour Butts
5. Jedi Johnson
6. cap’n Obvious
8. Joe Aiello
10. Eddie Von White
Pretend you are obliged to dress up for Halloween this year, even if you’re not. What’s your costume choice?
We don’t typically dress up for Halloween, but this year we are going to a costume party. We’re going as bacon and eggs! (This is not us. This guy looks so close to Ryan Braun I’d have to get a divorce if he were mine. But this is our costume!)