I had to wrap up my review early this week due to some pending business travel but never fear, I’ll pick up next time just where I left off so nothing you’ve said will go unnoticed.
- Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters
- Lizard = The best Lizzie
- MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks)
- Top 10 of 2012 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard)
As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims. Let’s go!
- Suffice it to say, watching senior citizens fire automatic weapons for the better part of two hours was preferable to the carnage that took place last night at Miller Park.
- Who do we call up? The entire AA and AAA start most days.
- A smart Cub fan is one who also has other interests.
- A very good MLB debut for Chris Rusin.
- You can’t have a guy hitting second who has absolutely no knowledge of the strike zone.
- So all I want to know is are we going with Carlos Cabrera or Alberto Marmol?
- The only thing we need to do to get Volsted his first win is have him pitch against the Cubs.
- #26 K/9 –> Brett Jackson
- Or really for anybody that has a triangle mouth, that is definitely creepy.
- I gave feed back last time and it was ignored…Raker is still allowed to comment.
- Same issue. “Chet’s Corner” has yet to be renamed “Chet Chat.”
- I can’t possibly give you my least favorites on the 25 man roster, I’m not sure at this point who 6 of these guys are.
- Co-MVLs! Our mom’s gonna print this out and post it on her fridge.
- First she’s going to have to Google the web address for AOL.com,
- if I could just write in the whole bullpen and most of the starting staff, that would be more accurate.
- I can’t say I really dislike the Cubs roster. The emotion I feel is a lot closer to pity.
- this is like asking what my 3 least favorite social diseases are.
- Can I still dislike Jeff Baker for this segment?
- It’s simply a way for governing bodies to make themselves feel good, which I’m told will make you go blind.
- Is that why I had to start wearing reading glasses in my mid 40′s ?
- you could pair him up with someone in the bullpen who compliments his style–you know, if we had anyone like that in the bullpen.
- Good for Chris Volstad, if he can pitch until 2312 he will be a 300 win pitcher which will get him into the Hall of Fame.
- What a VolSTUD!
- I know you’re probably still cleaning up from your “Chris Volstad Won a Game” parties from last night, so I’ll be brief.
- With another month and some change, we tried to gauge where this Cubs season might land on the spectrum between Awful and Historically Awful.
- There are explosive stomach viruses that are more enjoyable than last night’s Cubs game.
- I feel like this entire game could have been summed up in a sentence. We decided it was a good idea to let Joe Mather get the final out.
- Our Chicago crowd tends to prefer the printed box score version of the game rather than the one you watch with your eyes. These days, it’s hard to blame them.
- I don’t see Mather’s name on the Bullpen Health Report, how many pitches did he throw, i.e. is he eligible to pitch today?
- At this point I can really see him developing into the Cubs’ 3rd or 4th starter
- Let’s see, we got Captain Organ the porn star leading the rotation, a promising Wood not named Kerry, a 1 win per season wonder, a AAA call up who can’t throw over 83mph and various other call ups in the rotation, why not give Mather a shot,
- Captain Organ always pitches hard.
- …and deep into the count.
- Or countess.
- I am glad to see Brian LaHair starting to hit again, he could tear up Japan, maybe he and Matt Murton can get together for some sushi next season.
- I hear they have a sitcom deal in the works. They both wind up playing for the Ham Fighters and are roommates. Episode one involves Murton (the wacky one) using LaHair’s baseball bag to bring home a giant, three foot, roll of sushi. LaHair suits up for practice, only to find wasabi in his cup. Good stuff.
- They live in a girls only apartment building so they have to dress up as women overtime they come and go from home, the hilarity of it all.
- Outfits complete with barrettes and Hello Kitty backpacks.
- After a rough start to the season, they decide to write a techno beat called “We Were Once…..Cubs,” which quickly climbs to the top of the Tokyo Top 20.
- Group name: Lefty and the Mur-tones
- Their cover is nearly blown, when Matt’s makeshift ‘cups and athletic tape’ bra comes unraveled. Brian creates a distraction by improvising a song and dance routine and singing “Put Me In Coach.” Once they get back to their room, Matt tells Brian “you threw them one heck of a curveball Hairy!” Great episode.
- Their wacky friends from Milwaukee Laverne and Shirley pay a visit to the boys in Japan.
- Laverne bumps into Shirley in line at the airport Kiosk. Shirley breaks a hip.
- Ever notice when folks say “not to mention”, they immediately do?
- will they lose 100? Very likely. Or will they grab the title of ‘worst Cubs team ever’ with 104 losses? Possible.
- Cub batters walked 11 times. I’m playing the lottery tomorrow!
- 29 games back with 32 to play…so there is still a chance, right?
- Yes, he leaped. Against the ivy.
- They’re still s#&@ty.
Congratulations to the following commenter who received his first 2012 Lizzie this week. Thanks for hanging out with us! We’re happy to have you here!
- Mark W
- Congratulations to Seymour Butts, the Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time around!
In honor of the short week I’ll post the full 2012 standings. Big thank yous to all who contribute every day here at VFTB.
1. Jeremiah Johnson
2. Doc Raker
4. Jedi Johnson
5. Seymour Butts
6. cap’n Obvious
8. Joe Aiello
10. Eddie Von White
11. Dustin Godsey
11. Josh Cornwall
14. Doug S.
19. Rich Beckman
22. Timothy Scarbrough
25. Cubs Future
25. Michael Jimenez
29. Doug Bagley
29. Tom C
33. Christopher Allen
37. chris in illinois
37. Joshua Worn
44. Aaron Yavelberg
44. Alfred Newman
44. Bill Mahoney
44. Bruce Miles
44. Danny B
44. David Beyer
44. Eric Smith
44. Hardball Times
44. Jamie Giffin
44. Jeremy The Kid Johnson
44. Joe Janish
44. Lee Panas
44. Mark P.
44. Mark W
44. Mike Oliver
44. Randall Pennington
44. Scared Hitless
44. Scott P
44. Stephanie Seymour
I’m not sure how/why I began posting recipes here, maybe it stems from back when people were sharing what’s on their iPod since my kitchen is way more interesting than my iPod. In any event, I’m sh*tcanning this segment. I have a whole blog full o’ recipes that I’m happy to share, email me if you want to follow it and I’ll send the details.
Last GirlieView I asked your three least favorite Cubs. My thorough statistical analysis tells me our team’s veteran member, Carlos Marmol, is your least favorite Cub with a full 23% of the vote.
1. Carlos Marmol – 23%
2. Chris Volstad – 19%
3. Shawn Camp – 16%
4. Justin Germano – 6%
4. Bryan LaHair – 6%
4. Joe Mather – 6%
4. Luis Valbuena – 6%
8. Lendy Castillo – 3%
8. Anthony Rizzo – 3%
8. James Russell – 3%
8. Jeff Samardzija – 3%
8. Alfonso Soriano – 3%
No one else made the list, although Jeff Baker received a token vote and I have to agree with that logic. Thank you to everyone who took part.
What should we talk about this week? How about we welcome back the NFL season with a little football pool? If you see this before Sunday and you take part in the fine sport of football watching, pick the winners:
Indianapolis Colts @ Chicago Bears
New England Patriots @ Tennessee Titans
Washington Redskins @ New Orleans Saints