Hope you’re enjoying this countdown to the trade deadline. Maybe something real will happen at some point! But let’s not bother ourselves with that right now. We’ve got Lizzies to award!

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks)
  • Top 10 of 2012 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Let’s go!

Lizzies

  • The Capn is 40 and batted under the mendoza line against 60 year olds, he still needs some seasoning so we sent him down to play with the 70 year olds until he finds his swing.
  • The scoring isn’t perfect, but it’s better than calling a hard hit ground ball through an Actuary’s legs a base hit.
  • Triple slashes mean nothing without a BABIP to anchor them in reality.
  • it reminds us that agents of an institution will protect the entity of the institution before protecting individual victims of the institution.
  • Paterno wasn’t the complete scumbag that Sandusky is, but he is just as culpable.  He could have put a stop to it.
  • If I have to choose a lesser evil, let it be the Pirates
  • this is the most anticipated trade deadline I can remember.
  • I think a fake mustache would be the icing on the cake of wooing him.
  • Of course if you were related to Raker, the moustache would not be fake.
  • the worst seats in Wrigley are still seats in Wrigley.
  • I created a player the exact height, weight and skill set as Anthony Rizzo in the Road to the Show game style of PS3′s The Show. Naturally I named the player after myself because who wouldn’t actually want to be the savior of the Cubs? Early numbers aren’t promising.
  • we don’t have to worry about the dignity of being a competitive team for long.
  • mark it down, July 15 2012 Raker admits he was wrong.
  • The Marmol sweats
  • If this roster is gutted (Let’s hope!) Our return to worst in MLB will be swift and magnificent.
  • a good bat will not make a bad hitter good but the wrong bat sure can make a good hitter bad
  • tchotchkes
  • I still think they should have had Fontenot mullet-head bobbling in the boat with Theriot.  Arm in arm.
  • Better. Best would have been if Fontenot was caught on the end of his fishing line.
  • Under different circumstances, [Ozzie] might have been our manager this season.  Dale looks even better by comparison, doesn’t he?
  • Jim Hendry called Thed, he wants Jeff Baker as a Yankee, they offered Billy Martin and a gift card to Togo’s, not a bad deal.
  • there was an interesting tidbit that said it would take me (unemployed) 90 years to make his annual salary.  Well, back at the job hunt as I don’t expect to live until 134.
  • I read a tweet last night that Wood was cruising toward a no hitter. Can’t believe a thing you read on twitter.
  • People can post crazy things on Twitter sometimes.
  • “I’ve waited my whole life and they are finally playing well and we are going to tear them apart?  They could make the post season!”  I almost ripped my stereo out and threw it into oncoming traffic.
  • I can’t wait for them to gut this sucker and start over.
  • Never did I ever think that making a simple plea for rain for farmers would be the most controversial/debated thing I could write for this site.
  • In the history of modern medicine, no sober cardiologist has ever ordered or eaten the pile of cholesterol and triglycerides known as the grand slam breakfast. On the flip side, it is a favorite of chubby realtors and eye chiropractors.
  • What shape are your feet?  If square or round you never have to worry about putting your foot in your mouth.
  • They are playing well of late, but I predict they fade like a Doc Raker 3 wood.
  • Cruel joke, Cap is well aware of Raker’s inability to use wood. Lens grinding accident, made a spectacle of himself,  and was permanently maimed.
  • It’s one thing to beat the Diamondbacks and the Marlins. It’s another thing to stay hot on the road against the leaders in your division.
  • Jeans Shorts Nation
  • Dear God I hate the Cards.
  • The good was as scarce as rain
  • Speaking of trade rumors, has anyone heard anything about Dempster possibly being traded?
  • Just goes to show us that we don’t know what Theo is thinking.
  • If they’re that bad with substance abuse, imagine how terrible they’d be without.
  • The MVP of the weekend was an easy choice. Vicki Santo was eloquent, funny, charming, and gracious as she gave Ron’s Hall of Fame speech on his behalf Sunday.
  • Perhaps I’m just unaware of the species of shark known for sporting skeevy facial hair and losing sight of the strike zone for weeks at a time–after all, I’m no Jacques Cousteau.
  • Sports reporting is especially crappy these days.
  • Crank that Soler Boy!
  • Petulant fans step aside and pipe down.
  • you are the only one looking out for you and yours.
  • [Lalli] was passed over in favor of Koyie Hill as the backup catcher at one point this season. When you see that sentence in a summary of a player, it’s safe to say there is not much in his future.

Lizard

  • I’m offering up, “Cubs offense pulled e-brake and slammed into a bridge abutment.”

Shout Outs

Congratulations to the following commenters who received their first 2012 Lizzie this week. Thanks for hanging out with us! We’re happy to have you here!

  • Bigcubsfanintx
  • Christopher Allen
  • Jamie Giffin

MVL

  • Congratulations to Jeremiah Johnson, the Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time around! Twice in a row! Way to go Jeremiah!

Top 10 of 2012

1. Jeremiah Johnson
2. Doc Raker
3. jswanson
4. Jedi Johnson
5. Seymour Butts
6. cap’n Obvious
7. Buddy
8. JoeAiello
9. Chuck
10. Chet

Lizzie’s Kitchen

  • No recipe needed for these. Just add some toppings to your favorite dish to turn it into Olympic celebration food!


Chit Chat

As you’ve probably guessed, I adore the Olympics and they start tomorrow so I’m a happy gal! There are 36 sports making up the summer olympics (you can see them all here, but just for fun you might try naming them first to see how many you can get. I think I got about 10 when I first tried!)

Interesting tidbit: This is the first Olympics in which women will be represented in all sports. Those newly introduced to the Olympics have been required to offer competition for women since the early 90s, but existing sports had many years to comply. The final sport is complying this year (want to guess what it is? I’ll be back later with the answer.)

Interesting’er tidbit: The Opening Ceremonies (Friday, July 27, NBC, 7:30 pm E/6:30 pm C) will feature live animals. (I have always wanted to be a farmer. If my programming gig ever goes belly up, you’ll find me out in the country with a pitchfork wearing chaps!) 12 horses, 3 cows, 2 goats, 10 chickens, 10 ducks, 9 geese, 7 sheep, and 3 sheepdogs will entertain us along with some 15,000 humans.

My chit chat questions for today:

  • Do you enjoy the Olympics and will you watch?
  • And, what’s your favorite competition?

I like the common favorites but please allow me to introduce you to one of the less popular Olympic sports: Trampoline. With only two days of competition (Men August 3, Women August 4) you’ll miss it if you blink so keep those dates in mind. It’s worth seeing. We have a guy in our subdivision who thinks he looks fierce jumping around on his backyard setup. Let me assure you, this is NOT your neighbor’s trampoline!

 

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.