Whew! No lack of wit and wisdom this time around! Even with the All Star break you guys rock! Enjoy!

Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks)
  • Top 10 of 2012 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims. Let’s go!

Lizzies

  • The perception is that he’s done something but really he’s just moved around some deck chairs and if the ship doesn’t sink he’ll say it was because of said furniture reshuffling.
  • Given my relative proximity to Phoenix, it’s a little surprising (to me at least) that I’ve never gone there to see the Cubs play the Diamondbacks.  But then we have a series like we had this past weekend, and I get all the reminders I need.
  • Please know what a profound pleasure it is to inform and entertain you, and to commiserate (often) and celebrate (less often) with you.
  • Marlon Byrd was busted for PEDs. Not sure how the 50-game suspension works for a free agent.  Maybe it’s just called “retirement”?
  • Too bad for Byrd he wasn’t a reigning MVP. Those guys get away with crap like this.
  • Don’t tell Lizzie that, Brett Jackson is next on her list after Geo gets moved.
  • Better watch your back because you are going to get lizzified.
  • Apparently even the official scorekeeper was caught up in Rizzomania.
  • Hopefully this is the end of the game previews I have to read “Cubs counter with sinkerballer Randy Wells….”
  • Maybe [Wells would] be okay in the bullpen, maybe not, but maybe Theo should get the O’s MacPhail back on the line just to be safe…
  • The problem with yanking Wells out of the rotation is who the heck do you replace him with?
  • The pitching cupboard is bare my friends.
  • Yikes. Dismal pickings, indeed. Maybe if we put a wig on a pitching machine? I’m sure it would get through more innings than either Volstad or Wells.
  • Billy and I chatted a little bit about his hand placement over dinner at Don and Charlies. I had the filet, Billy order the chicken schnitzel, I didn’t argue with the man since I never had schnitzel before and really couldn’t know which was the better order.
  • I can’t quit you, Baby
  • I’ve got pictures of me, in a Yankees hat at Yankee Stadium as they won their 27th championship. Who would think I wasn’t a Yankees fan?
  • All I would have needed to do was grow a little Utley soul patch and say a few derogatory things about ol’ Chawley Manuel. An easy sell indeed.
  • I could have gone the super easy route and bought myself a new wardrobe of blue and yellow, grown myself a handlebar mustache and professed my undying love of the Brewers.
  • One week after I moved to Milwaukee I fought through rush hour traffic to get to Wrigley Field for the first time in seven years. My knees nearly buckled from excitement and I got goosebumps as I walked through the gates, just like the first time I visited the Friendly Confines 20 years earlier.
  • I think the baseball gods were testing you here. You write a long article about not quitting, and BANG! they throw in a 17-1 ball game.
  • I’ll never give up on any of it, because the Cubs fan base has become the physical manifestation of hope and loyalty.
  • I want so badly for him to break the trend of flopping Cubs’ prospects, that, if Mr. Rizzo does break the trend, I will use “Rizzo” as my firstborn son’s middle name.
  • It seems like everybody knows that nobody likes [Baker] but everyone is afraid  to tell him that nobody wants him on the team.
  • Katie- Rumor has it TC is looking for a big league girlfriend, he is still hanging with his minor league girlfriend. Were digits exchanged?
  • Seriously Katie…move in on that.  You already have your engagement photo for the Trib…
  • If someone gets Campana’s number for me, I’ll go to dinner with said person.
  • His number is 1.
  • Yesterday was a win in my eyes…we still won a series, and “I Like To Walk The Pitcher” Wells was sent down.
  • Never enjoy having the thought, “Maybe baseball should have a 15-run mercy rule.”
  • I always do a shot for every Lizzie I get.
  • I’ll be working on the 4th, but for good reason. I’m headed to Sunday’s game (vs. Astros) and decided to take Monday off in preparation for an either an emotional breakdown due to the loss or an intense sunburn. Either one allows me to take the day off, right?
  • I am going to have  BBQ on the 4th and show off my MVL trophy, kinda like they do with the Stanley Cup.
  • I’m the Susan Lucci of Lizzies.
  • A few VFTBers weren’t ever on the Shark bandwagon. Not even in April.
  • It’s a ton of pressure to know that giving up one or two runs means a loss.
  • Smarja needs to limit his porn shots during the season, this is a long season and pitching is fatiguing enough. His porn career should be left to the offseason.
  • My opinion is that Samardzija’s legs are tired, and he’s not in as good physical condition as he could be.  It may or may not stem from the porn shoots.  Raker and Seymour would know more about that stuff than me.
  • He jumped himself?
  • the bullpen, while still a dumpster fire, has been downgraded from a four-alarm catastrophe.
  • Coming to the Cubs gives Theo an opportunity to figure heavily in the ending of the two longest championship droughts in the MLB for two of its most popular teams.  That alone would put him on the league’s Mt. Rushmore.
  • And I think he knew that despite some of the obvious flaws that need to be addressed, the Cubs are an organization he can eventually turn into World Series champs.
  • Maybe Theo was thinking…”Gee, I’d love to listen to really crappy versions of ‘Take Me Out To The Ballgame’ everyday.”
  • Jane Lynch sings like a lark.  I’m offended on her behalf.
  • I don’t think he came here because he saw patient fans.
  • Win the World Series as a Cub and your are royalty for life.
  • I want a guy that firmly believes he knows he can do what nobody has been able to do for over a hundred years.
  • he would have come here if we had 9 Koyie Hills in the lineup.
  • I think we would get banned from professional baseball if we had 9 Koyie Hills in the line up.
  • I am getting to recap my first win in over a month as well. I want to thank my parents, my wife and this wonderful team for the opportunity to do so. Brings tears to my eyes.
  • I could tell by the look in his eyes he didn’t know how many outs there were.
  • I tuned in briefly. “Huh. The Cubs have the lead, and it’s the 8th inning… TURN IT OFF, YOU IDIOT. YOU MIGHT RUIN IT!”
  • Hairy
  • Will the Astros always be a dog of a team?
  • Anthony Rizzo is not only a power hitter, he’s a peace maker.
  • I think you misquoted our favorite slugging sociopath. The real quote was, “It was definitely Castro’s fault. I told him several times that Ugly runs better than his inbreeding suggests. Starlin knew he had to hustle and just did not. Get me some better team mates Jeo, for Chrisakes”.
  • I guess The Shark jumped back over himself.
  • The problem with a team like this, though, is that we have an overload of 7 and 8 hitters.
  • The things he’s struggled with the most so far this year are skill and the ability to not suck.
  • Ability to not suck…that is one stat that should be on the back of every baseball card!  I’m sure there is some SABR guy who could quantify it.
  • July 4th–Castro walked. Hell has frozen over.
  • I’m starting to get nervous about the “Under 60 wins” bet I made back in March.
  • even Buddy gets a pass on Independence Day.  At least he only posts when he has something to say, instead of whoring it up every day for Lizzies.
  • And in the AL, the guy better rake like a washed up eye doctor with geriatric attorneys manning all the pertinent defensive positions off a machine tossing jelly doughnuts.  With raspberry filling.
  • And chocolate glaze
  • That coming from a guy who hit below the Mendoza line off a pitching machine tossing jelly doughnuts with raspberry filling and chocolate glaze.
  • my struggles were due to the transition from metal to wood bats.  Many top prospects have this issue.
  • My wife could go yard with a -8 aluminium rocket launcher.  Just saying.
  • Easily our best Carlos.
  • If Marmol does shake off the catcher, he owes pitching coach Chris Bosio a case of wine.
  • Geo Soto connected for his sixth homer (crickets chirping).
  • Buddy tried to join the Rizzo fan club via the inter web and they told him no thank you in an email, “Thank you for your interest in the Anthony Rizzo Fan Club LLC but we would like Anthony to have a nice long prosperous major league career and feel it is best if you don’t root for him. We are returning your $14.75 membership fee. You may keep the RIZZO ARMY patch but please do not wear it to any major league game in which Mr Rizzo will be playing.”
  • I love Reed Johnson.
  • Dave Campbell said of a pitch to LaHair “Gee hit the spot”. Dave’s mom must be Ruth Westheimer.
  • The most simple change would be to have no Sunday night game that week.
  • And in all the excitement and confusion, Berman might pass out–so everybody wins.
  • Maybe it’s Anthony Rizzo’s bat, or planning my wedding to Tony Campana.
  • How many others did the math and realized that they have socks older than Katie?
  • Despite the great home run heroics, my favorite moment of the night involve two retired Cubs
  • It’s not normal, but who wants to be normal?
  • they’ll still check the box scores to see how Rizzo and Castro (a cop show I would watch, BTW) and others have performed.
  • If you have to jump aboard a bandwagon for the second half of the season, you could do much worse than Pittsburgh’s.
  • I find it really hard to root against the Pirates and Royals.  As organizations, they are almost as pathetic as us.
  • he staged a final campaign against the Cubs’ representatives–exactly the kind of behavior you’d expect from the King Weasel of Passive-Aggressive Mountain.

Lizard

Shout Outs

Congratulations to the following commenters who received their first 2012 Lizzie this week. Thanks for hanging out with us! We’re so happy to have you here!

  • Aaron Yavelberg
  • mike_thoms

MVL

  • Congratulations to Jeremiah Johnson, the Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time around!

Top 10 of 2012

In honor of the All-Star break and its associated boredom, I’ll post the complete 2012 standings this time. 62 different folks have received Lizzies in 2012. Way to go everyone!

1. Jeremiah Johnson
2. Doc Raker
3. jswanson
4. Seymour Butts
5. Jedi Johnson
6. cap’n Obvious
7. Buddy
8. JoeAiello
9. Chuck
10. Doug S.
11. Chet
12. Norm
13. Dustin Godsey
13. Eddie Von White
13. Josh Cornwall
16. Katie
17. wisconsinjpc
18. flyslinger2
19. gymjok
19. Noah
21. Kris
21. Rich Beckman
23. Timothy Scarbrough
24. BLPCB
25. Cubs Future
25. Doug Bagley
25. LVCubFan
25. Smitty
25. Tom C
25. Verncrowe5
31. Dragon
31. john
31. Michael Jimenez
34. bonesinis
34. Bryan
34. chris in illinois
34. CubbieDude
34. Joshua Worn
34. mrbaseball2usa
40. Aaron Yavelberg
40. Alfred Newman
40. Allan
40. Bill Mahoney
40. Bruce Miles
40. Danny B
40. David Beyer
40. Eric Smith
40. Evan
40. Gerg
40. Hardball Times
40. Jeremy The Kid Johnson
40. Joe Janish
40. Lee
40. Lee Panas
40. Mark P.
40. mbg
40. Mike Oliver
40. mike_thoms
40. MJ
40. randy
40. Scared Hitless
40. Scott P

Lizzie’s Kitchen

Chit Chat

I’m incredibly excited about the remainder of the month of July. Why? Trade deadline! I love seeing who goes where and for whom. Here’s a double-question for you to ponder:

  • Part 1: Who do you want the Cubs to trade?
  • Part 2: Who do you think the Cubs will trade?

(Note these are not necessarily the same.)

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.