I had to wrap up my review a little bit early this time around (Monday) but don’t worry, I always pick up where I left off.

Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most funny comments in the period under review (usually the past two weeks)
  • Top 10 of 2012: The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Let’s go!

Lizzies

  • until Theo proves me wrong, I’ll assume most of his decisions are the right decision.
  • Slipping 20 games under .500 means even your role players don’t have much of a role to play.
  • The win raises our playoff odds to 0.7% chance. Get your tickets now!!!!
  • It’s not about blaming Rudy. It’s out with the old Hendry way, in with the new Theo way.
  • what happens on a come-backer?  Does the 70 y/o tax attorney swing the pitching machine over towards first for the relay, or is that frowned upon?
  • only once saw a line shot at the machine that went into the feed hole and came right back at the batter. You don’t see that in the bigs.
  • Is “the machine” the 70 y/o tax attorney’s nickname?  Sorry to hear about his feed hole.
  • When the 70 y/o tax attorney knocks over the pitching machine trying to field the bunt the laughter is deafening for anyone who isn’t already deaf.
  • I’m going to go out on a limb and say we should probably get some hitters before we get another hitting coach.
  • “Not much” is the theme with the farm system.
  • As the Cubs continue to sleep walk through the 2012 season
  • Tardiness is forgiven.  Getting our hopes up for seeing any return on Marmol is frowned upon, however.
  • [Randy Wells] Value:  Internet Hottie Status
  • The only scenario I can see where I would support the DH in the NL , is if I were the DH. This seems unlikely.
  • Props to you, no bitterness, no resentment, your invitation to dine with Seymour will not be revoked.
  • No worries there Doc, it’s only a temporary de-throning.  Personally, I can’t get enough of you singing your own fantasy camp praises.
  • If you can’t rake off a pitching machine with crippled outfielders you just can’t rake.
  • Little elves didn’t come over and restock my fridge with beer. I keep waiting and waiting. Not sure what the problem is.
  • try decking your house in Cardinals gear, because I secretly suspect the beer elves have a mission to keep St. Louis fans liquored up and ornery.
  • “All right you hitters, we got a Katrina coming in to pitch, grip and rip.”
  • If we deilver some beer and chicken to the Red Sox dressing room we’ll be fine.
  • The one I really want for a repeat performance is the White Sox guy.  I feel like we could almost give him a regular feature here just to boost everyone’s self-esteem.
  • Until you’ve walked in his shoes, he deserves the benefit of the doubt.
  • Bill Buckner swatted a homer and two doubles and Bruce Sutter struck out all six batters he faced, leading the Cubs to a 6-2 victory over Dave Parker and the pesky Pittsburgh Pirates.
  • I’m not sure how to gussy up a game in which the Cubs made most of their outs by swinging at bad pitches.
  • it’s always unpleasant to see the ever-odious Pierzynski have any success.
  • Why would anyone pelt BLPCB with trash? You’re so soft spoken and shy.
  • Does anyone over 6 years old really care about that trophy?
  • I have a six year old. He doesn’t care
  • You had dinner with the Boise manager didn’t you Seymour? At a restaurant I mean, not just eating a hot dog in the first row while he waves to you from the dugout.
  • I’m pretty sure a combined Cubs/Sox TV crew doing the same broadcast would cause me to asphyxiate myself with my own shoelaces.
  • So would that make Mrs Obvious pro or con on the combined broadcast crew?
  • Mrs. Obvious needs me around.  We share a child, a large mortgage, and a general dislike of italian-american republican sunglass salesmen.
  • And I need you around till you buy my dinner this summer. =)
  • It’s possible I might still have Alec Berg’s Amex.
  • Sounds like Taco Bell for yous.
  • They spent a chunk of the game bitching about Soriano and his large contract and the rest lamenting the fact that the Cubs didn’t sign Fielder or Pujols.
  • Call me insane, but it wouldn’t surprise me if the Cubs actually contend for a playoff spot next year.
  • Dear Buddy, You are insane. Yours truly Cap’n Obvious
  • How about a naming contest where the winner gets nothing, but we can fulfill our prime objective by trolling for Lizzies.
  • “The Athletic Cup”
  • We Stinks
  • we won’t remember the 2012 Cubs for their futility.  No, instead, we will remember it as the first step in the right direction.
  • The century mark in losses is really about the only noteworthy accomplishment left for this team.
  • It would probably really help our record if we could schedule more games against the Cubs.
  • The D-backs really need to work on getting guys with better baseball names. Paul Goldschmidt? Come on!
  • Carlos Goldschmidt.  Way better.
  • The guys that can get on base are the guys who bring people home, which causes quite the dilemma
  • If I’m Theo my next move is to post saying I’m sorry but I won’t have time to read VFTB for a while. I’ll be to busy setting up and making trades.
  • losing isn’t what I take issue with, it’s the lack of progress seen on the field.
  • The Cubs are 15th in on-base percentage and 14th in ERA. You don’t have to be Columbo to figure out where that leads.

Lizard

  • The answer to the closer question is, “We have a lead?”

Shout Outs

  • Congratulations to Michael Jimenez who received his first 2012 Lizzie this week. Thanks for your posts and comments!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker, the Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time around!

Top 10 of 2012

1.  Doc Raker
2.  Jeremiah Johnson
3.  jswanson
4.  Jedi Johnson
5.  Seymour Butts
6.  cap’n Obvious
7.  Buddy
8.  JoeAiello
9.  Chuck
10. Chet

Lizzie’s Kitchen

If you need a take-along to your neighbor’s 4th of July picnic, give this a try!

Chit Chat

Speaking of the 4th of July, doing anything special to celebrate?

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.