Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most funny comments in the period under review (usually the past two weeks)
  • Top 10 of 2012: The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Let’s go!

Lizzies

  • Garbage in, garbage out…no amount of lineup maneuvering is going to fix this 25-man roster.
  • Overall, I do think it will be an interesting trade year. I’m excited for it to see what the future brings
  • Looking for a cure for what is bothering your offense? Turn to the Padres.
  • About 5 years ago or so, I met Joe West’s brother Jim. Happened to be on coincidental scuba trips to Jamaica.
  • Diving with Seymour?
  • How about diving AND dining. We should make a Caribbean VFTB trip one day.
  • Como se restarantes Subway del Caribe?
  • Pitching depth, power arms, bullpen built internally. Sounds fantastic. Hopefully that means no multi-year free agent deals to relief pitchers.
  • Any word on when Rich Hill will get the call-up?  I hear good things about that kid.
  • Cardinals fans are showing a level of contempt for Pujols that I could barely muster for him when he was still one of their beloved Redbirds.
  • But for whatever reason–whether it’s a proper upbringing, a sense of perspective, or simple, common decency–I just can’t stir up the motivation to hate a particular player or players. I guess that’s why I’m not one of the “Best Fans in Baseball.”
  • Kinda like Donald Trump proclaiming he built the ‘Worlds greatest golf course” and the ‘worlds greatest office building’ and the ‘worlds greatest casino’ and the ‘worlds greatest condo complex’, it is all self proclaimed marketing and if enough people repeat it it becomes a perceived truth.
  • How hard is to be a Cardinals fan? They win all the time
  • Johnsons and Swansons, them’s some funny folks.
  • Don’t act like this Cub team doesn’t make all of you want to get drunk every day.
  • The throwback jerseys were fabulous.
  • Cubs throwback unis = one of our few ways of having a team that looks good on the field!
  • Bigfoot. El Chupacabra. The Loch Ness Monster. Cubs Runs Scored.
  • I know a guy who knows a guy who actually saw the Cubs score multiple runs in one inning
  • After all, what better way to romance your wife than to share your baseball knowledge, or lack of it, with her.
  • Your wife was right.  Most wives usually are
  • Cubs fans briefly breathed a sigh of relief when Marmol took a sharp line drive off his back, but unfortunately he was able to stay in the game.
  • What? We have some pitchers to stock our farm system? Am I on the right site? We didn’t choose a bunch of “speedy ” OF’s or “light hitting” infielders? This is the Cubs, right?
  • Jeez, it’s almost like Hendry isn’t our GM anymore. Oh, wait.
  • Speaking about and impending no no, will not affect it course, to think so is nonsense. Everyone knows these things are controlled by the color of your socks.
  • Below-average pitching, below-average batting, and below-average fielding.
  • This Cubs team is feast or famine. Unfortunately, they seem overly concerned about making sure the fans don’t get fat.
  • Please offer those poor professional athletes my condolences.  I would, but am stuck in this goddamn cubicle for another four hours.
  • Koyie Hill actually got a hit and drove in a run. What are the odds?
  • Scared Hitless
  • I’m thinking, and I wonder if anyone else thinks this too, that maybe it has to do with the way things are run on the farm, and if the Cubs had drafted a Pedroia or Longoria, they would be scrubs too.
  • “My buns have no seeds.”
  • It’s nice of Len and Bob to keep telling viewers how much better Soriano is however. Maybe they think it will be true if they keep saying it.
  • Improved does not equal good.
  • Ryan Dempster must wonder who is on his side when he looks up to see none other then Jeff Baker in the clean up spot  and Koyie Hill behind the plate.
  • There’s nothing more reassuring then seeing Jeff Baker hitting in the clean up spot.
  • You know what feels good?  Ranking three legitimate OF prospects.  What a difference a week can make…
  • And because I signed up for two topical posts this week and only had one good idea so far.
  • It’s nice when you actually feel as if you have legitimate prospects in the minor leagues.
  • We are just a bunch of freaks here.

Lizard

  • Is anybody else here concerned that we didn’t draft a Carlos until round 15?

Shout Outs

Congratulations to the following folks who received their first 2012 Lizzie this week. Thanks for commenting, we love having you here!

  • Alfred Newman
  • Mike Oliver
  • Scared Hitless
  • Timothy Scarbrough

MVL

We have co-Most Valuable Lizzie’ers this time around: Jeremiah Johnson and jswanson! Congratulations!

Top 10 of 2012

1.  Jeremiah Johnson
2.  Doc Raker
3.  jswanson
4.  Jedi Johnson
5.  Seymour Butts
6.  Buddy
7.  cap’n Obvious
8.  JoeAiello
9.  Chuck
10. Chet

Lizzie’s Kitchen

Chit Chat

The merits(/demerits) of the designated hitter were brought up very briefly this week, and it got me to wondering. I’ve always thought this opinion is directly related to age. So, if you would, tell me if you prefer the NL eventually adopt the DH, as well as your age group (teens, 20s, 30s, etc.) For instance, I’m voting “no thank you” on the DH and I’m in my 40s. I’ll analyze the results and present a dissertation with colorful bar graphs and pie charts. Someday. Thank you in advance for your help and support in furthering my critical statistical research.

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.