View From The Bleachers

May 31, 2012

GirlieView (05/31/2012)

Filed under: Featured,General — Lizzie @ 4:00 pm

Interesting commentary this go’round since most of the Cubs’ time since my last GirlieView was spent losing. I was buoyed by the amount of humor and was happy no one was threatening suicide. Or Cubicide. Here we go!

Lizzies

  • Another Marmol Flame Up, Cubs Killed by Errant Deliverys.
  • Ugly. Ugly ugly UGLY!
  • The bullpen made me briefly forgot about this week’s episode of ‘Garza Throws to First Base’.  This one was a good one, a two-parter.
  • I would caution not to overlap it with milf.tv, different subject matter.
  • Just a matter of time until I took my rightful place on top of the Lizzie board, drinks on me.
  • Before I could even finish my first beer, the Cubs were already trailing.
  • It also allows for Travis Wood to be called up to assure the Cubs still have Wood and do not need to see their doctor.
  • Someone had already taken BM1 & BM2?
  • I figured we wouldn’t miss much so he an I plopped down for some constructive claymation.
  • It’s true we might get swept this weekend.  But take solace, Cubs fan–at least you’re not that [White Sox] guy.
  • You can’t expect platitudes and false faint praise form folks with mono-syllabic vocabularies and remarkably low teeth-to-tattoo ratios.
  • Would it kill this team to score some runs?
  • Let’s score some touchdowns Cubs!
  • [Woody]’s a real classy guy, and I hope he stays with this organization.
  • I saw Kerry Wood throw his last pitch. I cried.
  • Hit the bottle with this team.
  • That’s like saying to me, “hey your wife went to the hospital for a month and your ex-wife is gonna fill in…”
  • So if you want to be on the major league roster as a relief pitcher, keep your eyes open as your opportunity may be around the corner.
  • Yikes this team really tried hard to be awful this week.
  • Even when [LaHair] is slumping, he hits better than most of the lineup.
  • what new excuse will we find to account for the lack of offense, ’cause the weather ain’t it!
  • Remember when we used to be thankful the Astros were in the NL Central?
  • If I’m honest, I’m running a tad low on optimism right now.
  • My condolences go out to JJ for having to write-up this game’s recap.
  • Hey look!  We’re already to the part of the season when Castro’s freakish stats are all we have to console us after a loss.
  • the next time you see Matt Garza not looking like himself and giving up 3-run homers, put on some pants and go see The Avengers.
  • sometimes you have to scoot sideways along the bottom for a while groping for something to grab a hold of to pick yourself up
  • It’s difficult to preach patience to a fan base in a 100+-year drought, but overall, I see progress being made in the big picture. If that means closing my eyes to what is essentially a minor-league team trying to get big-boy legs under it, then I’ll just shut both, or maybe squint really hard.
  • I would say the Cubs hit bottom in 2011, 2012 is the beginning of the rebuild.
  • Something about 2 solid fingers and a thumb. If only some casual Cub fan could have mentioned to him why Koyie has an issue with that.
  • Insert (cynical, sarcastic comment offering zero baseball value and only purpose is Lizzie consideration) here.
  • ‘Meet the New Low’ for Lizzie pandering.
  • And if your pitchers only allow 1 run per game but you NEVER GET A STINKING RUN then you will also lose.
  • Wood always seemed to understand the special relationship between the Cubs and their fans.
  • I would sacrifice a billy goat to the oft-invoked Baseball Gods on an ivy-covered brick altar at midnight to be .500 further than three games into the season.
  • It’s about talent. The Cubs lack it. When they have players that can hit, they’ll also have players that can hit w/RISP.
  • Lose and get high draft picks while, at the same time, put practices into place in the entire organization that will lead to future success.
  • “Ian is hitting .385 vs Houston on Wednesdays before 7:30PM.”
  • I’m fine with maintaining the “human element,” but there needs to be a way to acknowledge when that human element makes a mistake, especially a costly one.
  • Unfamiliar with simple baseball rules, … Soriano tried to run through Pedro Alvarez.
  • There were two outs, he had two strikes on him, and Marmol took over Dolis’ body.
  • what if Rowland-Smith marries Biben-Dirkx sister and they have a baby it will be Baby Rowland-Smith-Bibens-Dirkx
  • The Cubs broke their 12-game losing streak with a convincing win over the Padres.  I could almost end the recap right there.

Lizard

  • No expectations.  No disappointment.

Shout Outs

Congratulations to the following folks who received their first 2012 Lizzie this week. Thanks for commenting, we love having you here!

  • bonesinis
  • Cubs Future
  • Verncrowe5
  • wisconsinjpc

MVL

This week’s Most Valuable Lizzie’er goes to: Jeremiah Johnson! Congratulations Jeremiah!

2012 Top Ten

1. Doc Raker
2. Jeremiah Johnson
3. Jedi Johnson
4. jswanson
5. Seymour Butts
6. Buddy
6. cap’n Obvious
8. JoeAiello
9. Chuck
10. Chet

Lizzie’s Kitchen

Chit Chat

I’m stumped. With three posts per day and a rebuilding team there’s not a lot that hasn’t been chit chatted to death already. How about this: Going anywhere special this summer?

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.

  • Seymour Butts

    Johnsons and Swansons, them’s some funny folks.  Raker knows funny folks.

    Interesting thing happened in last night’s softball game. I’m playing in an over 50 league and most of the umps are over 50 as well. I was on deck with the bases loaded. The batter hit a sinking liner to left which was either caught or trapped, I couldn’t tell. The 65ish ump called safe and 2 runs scored. As I approached the plate the same (and only) ump reversed herself and said “Out”. I said “Really?”(in a tone implying incredulity and disdain). She said “He said he caught it, and that’s good enough for me”.
     Who needs replay, we can just ask the players involved on close plays.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/X6CCG3XIM2T26M6PUUSQ7DA3W4 Alfred Newman

    Bound for Virginia to the Shenandoah Valley, a first for me.

  • Seymour Butts

    Oh yeah, going to Cooperstown for the induction…anyone else going?

  • bonesinis

    Holy Cow! I made it with a quote that I didn’t realize sounded so dumb until I read it again here! Geezz.

  • Jeremiah Johnson

    Thanks, Lizzie.

    As for the summer, I’m planning to make a few weekend trips back to Chicago.  What’s the point of having season tickets if you never get to use ’em?

  • Jeremiah Johnson

    I’m insanely jealous, Seymour.  Always thought my first trip to the HOF would be to see Ron inducted–I just can’t work up the same kind of excitement knowing he won’t be there to enjoy it.  I expect lots of pictures and a full report.

  • http://elizababble.com/ Lizzie

    That’s what I’m here for!! Just teasing. It was a really good quote. Maybe you just need to revisit it in the context of the rest of the paragraph back when you wrote it!

  • http://elizababble.com/ Lizzie

     I knew you’d buy ’em! :-)

  • cap’n obvious

    How about me not commenting for so long that Joe actually had to email me to make sure I wasn’t in rehab or something.  And still firmly in the top 10.  Don’t act like this Cub team doesn’t make all of you want to get drunk every day.  We should all be in rehab.

    Taking a well deserved long 2 week vacation this summer. 2 days in Cary, N.C. at the USA baseball training facility (where I hope to dine with THE Joe Aiello, a la Seymour), a week in a beach house on Emerald Isle on the NC coast, and 6 days in Tampa at the home of my beloved mother and her latest husband.  Think Del Boca Vista and the Costanza parents.  ALRIGHT!  

  • http://twitter.com/JCStats Josh Cornwall

    I need to start  saving my zingers for here instead of wasting them on Twitter.

  • http://swantron.com/ jswanson

    Alec Berg?  That guy isn’t funny…he owes me some hockey tickets.

  • http://swantron.com/ jswanson

    Second that.  You are as sick as the rest of us, JJ.  Maybe sicker…TSA ball play before Cubs play ball.  Gross. 

  • http://elizababble.com/ Lizzie

    Would love to join you for “Dinner with the good cap’n and THE Joe Aiello”. Would not like to join you at the Costanza’s. ;-)

  • http://elizababble.com/ Lizzie

    Trust me, you’ll get way more mileage out of Twitter than you will out of GirlieView!!!

  • http://twitter.com/JCStats Josh Cornwall

    Don’t sell yourself short Lizzie. You have no idea the power a Lizzie nomination holds.

  • http://swantron.com/ jswanson

    Astronaut pen.  Be on the lookout.  

  • http://elizababble.com/ Lizzie

    I will admit I do get myself a little kick out of those who are “too cool” to admit they like it!!!

  • BLPCB

    I’m 5 months into my 7 month vacation. 6 more weeks at Disney, then a 2 week road trip home: Mobile, Alabama, Mississippi, Tuskegee, Alabama, Atlanta, Savannah, GA (where the great General Sherman’s march to the sea ended), South Carolina, North Carolina, Nashville, Kentucky, the great state of Ohio, Indiana, and then finally home.

  • Chuck

    No love for the bile infused scorn I heaped on Mr. Maddux?  Shocked…  I am just shocked…  I loathe the ground in which he slithers…

  • Joe Aiello

    Usually head to Washington for a Nats game to check in with Tom C and hopefully Flyslinger this year. Other than that, no plans for me outside of dining with the good cap’n.

  • wisconsinjpc

    That’s where I live. Have a great time, the canoeing and fishing is great in the summer!

  • wisconsinjpc

    This summer I’m going to make a visit back to my sweet home, Chicago! Not sure if I’ll get to go to Wrigley, but it’s worth it to catch up with family.

  • Doc Raker

    Are you staying in town Seymour? I often wonder what a mess Cooperstown is on induction weekend. It is a one stop light town that blows up for 1 weekend. I always worry it would be too crowded in town to get a meal, long waits, poor service. Seymour needs good service while dinning so I worry.

  • Doc Raker

    So what was the MVL quote? Did I miss it? I know JJ wrote it but what was it?

  • Verncrowe5

    My summer excitement is heading back to Wrigley for the first time in about 10 years! I’ll be going in August, which means this team will be miles out of first place and possibly have a whole new lineup after the trade deadline. Yet, I couldn’t be more excited

  • Doc Raker

    San Jose for the NARCH National roller tournament, St Louis for the State Wars roller tournament, San Diego for the 11U baseball World Series, maybe Cooperstown for a youth baseball tournament. 

  • http://elizababble.com/ Lizzie

    I hear the Subway hired two extra teens for that weekend.

    I’ve never been to Cooperstown but we’ve tried Punxsatawney, PA for Groundhog Day. Same deal. Over-burdened, under-served town. They don’t pull off their fifteen minutes of yearly fame well.

  • http://elizababble.com/ Lizzie

    I’m sorry, guess I need to include definitions. The Lizard is still the best quote of the week (or, really, two weeks). The MVL is a person (not a quote) … the person who got the most Lizzies in the period. Jeremiah had the most Lizxies, hence he’s the Most Valuable Lizzie’r this time around.

  • Jeremiah Johnson

    Never claimed to be anything less.  Meet me in Chicago sometime–I’ll save you a seat in the bleachers.

    Same goes for you, Lizzie.

  • Mark_from_Toronto

    I usually catch a Cubs game somewhere each year, but plans fell through for a road trip to Pittsburgh in July. Considering the Cubs season so far, that might not be a bad thing after all.

  • Seymour Butts

    No hotels are hard to come by, found a rat hole about 30 miles away, booked in February. May have to eat crap.

  • http://twitter.com/tmilesmarker Tommy

    The wife and I went once off season. Stayed in a B&B that wasn’t that charming but it was close. While she shopped, I toured the hall all alone. It really is an experience best shared at the time. As for what I’m doing this summer, I’ll be trying to figure out a way to win my fantasy league. In second now but the leader is well balanced, it will be pretty hard to find a chink in his armor.

  • Doc Raker

    I don’t like over burdened under served situations. Go the week after, stay in town, eat well, miss the speech.

  • Doc Raker

    Wife? CAPS is jealous.

  • http://swantron.com/ jswanson

    Really appreciate the offer.  I haven’t won a single case against my wife this year with respect to me playing both games of my men’s league double headers.  I have a feeling a trip to Chicago is not in the cards until the baby is a toddler.  One of these years…do you still sit in right? I remember the security guard incident video.  

  • Jedi

    If he relied on Ichiro for his fantasy win you may well have found his undoing.

  • Jedi

    What about me you jerk!

  • Jedi

    Not enough hand-sanitizer in the world for me to touch that comment.

  • http://twitter.com/tmilesmarker Tommy

    No Ichiro. He’s loaded with Braun and Holliday and Pujols. I have Kemp but he just entered his second DL stint.  Game Change.

  • Jedi

    Sounds like no chink in the armor then.

  • Jeremiah Johnson

    Since I don’t intend to relinquish my tickets any time soon, I’ll keep yours waiting.  I actually prefer to sit in LF, but I’ve yet to find a bad seat in the bleachers.

  • Jeremiah Johnson

    Smooth. Keep it up and you’ll find yourself uninvited to Season Ticket Holder Appreciation Weekend.

  • http://swantron.com/ jswanson

    Dude.

  • http://swantron.com/ jswanson

    Both games I have taken in at Wrigley were directly over the basket in left.  We’ll belly up some day…beers and food on me.  Let’s hope the giant lady guard is retired.  

  • BLPCB

    Ever sit in section 304? That’s where the real bleacher bums hang

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