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Thursday

19

April 2012

50

COMMENTS

Game 13: It’s Not Getting Any Easier

Written by , Posted in General

Cubs 3 @ Marlins 5

Box Score / Highlights / Condensed Game

WHAT WENT RIGHT

  • Not very much. Darwin Barney drove in three runs, which probably hasn’t happened since Little league. Geo Soto and Ian Stewart each picked up two hits in a losing effort.
  • Starlin Castro didn’t make an error!
  • The bullpen did a nice job mopping up for the Shark.
  • I was stuck in the office today, so I didn’t have to watch this mess.

WHAT WENT WRONG

  • Jeff Samardzidja looked more like the pitcher I remember. Five walks and eight hits in 3.2 IP led to an early shower.
  • The offense continues to struggle. If you’re playing along at home, the Cubs have scored just 43 runs and hit only five dingers in 13 games.
  • Marlon Byrd…What else can I say?

IT SOUNDED BETTER IN MY HEAD

I think most of us agree Miami Marlins’ manager Ozzie Guillen outdid himself with the recent Fidel Castro comments. Instead of rehashing the past, here are a few handy statements he might consider next time around:

1)      I eat breakfast 300 yards away from 4,000 Cubans who are trained to kill me.

2)     I’m taking my talents to South Beach.

3)     (Singing) The rhythm is gonna get you.

4)     We’re talking about practice. Not a game, not a game, not a game. Practice.

5)     I know it was you, Fredo.

6)     I’m going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

7)     Coming up after the ballgame, it’s “Red Sonja” on “Dinner and a Movie.”

8)    Tim Tebow, Jeremy Lin. Tim Tebow, Jeremy Lin. Tim Tebow, Jeremy Lin.

9)     To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit.

10)  Did anybody catch “Mad Men” last night? I just love that Don Draper.

11)   Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?

12)  There’s only one other place I’d rather be…French Lick.

13)  (Crying) He’s my teammate. Sniff, sniff. He’s my quarterback.

14)  Soon I defeat real champion. If he dies, he dies.

 You stupid *%$@#*$% writers can just #$@!*&#$*%#!!!! Also, I don’t like dictators. Never have. No sir, not me. USA, USA, USA!

  • Mike

    Other interesting stats:  Cubs pitchers are a collective oh-fer as a staff.  Not that it matters much, but still odd.
    Cubs outfield has a collective 0 HR.  Now THAT is alarming. 

    This team will surely lose 100.  It’s really the most abysmal collection of players in franchise history.  If Byrd gets enough at bats he will set the new record for the lowest single season batting average.  

    • Dusty Baylor

       Abysmal?  Perhaps we need to dig out tapes of the Cubs 1974-1983….or 1990-1998…..oof.  I’m going to go rinse my eyes out now..with whiskey.

  • Mike

    Other interesting stats:  Cubs pitchers are a collective oh-fer as a staff.  Not that it matters much, but still odd.
    Cubs outfield has a collective 0 HR.  Now THAT is alarming. 

    This team will surely lose 100.  It’s really the most abysmal collection of players in franchise history.  If Byrd gets enough at bats he will set the new record for the lowest single season batting average.  

    • Dusty Baylor

       Abysmal?  Perhaps we need to dig out tapes of the Cubs 1974-1983….or 1990-1998…..oof.  I’m going to go rinse my eyes out now..with whiskey.

  • BLPCB

    And the Bulls lose…
    0-for Miami. But still a wonderful time. This is where my heart is. I love this city. So much great Cuban food. Love the fried pork chunks, plantains, and black beans. In India, we make the plantains and beans the exact same way.

    • Buddy

      Tell Sonny Crockett I said hello.

  • AC0000000

    And the Bulls lose…
    0-for Miami. But still a wonderful time. This is where my heart is. I love this city. So much great Cuban food. Love the fried pork chunks, plantains, and black beans. In India, we make the plantains and beans the exact same way.

    • Buddy

      Tell Sonny Crockett I said hello.

  • BLPCB

    Here is something Ozzie should have said: With all the attempts to kill Castro, I’m surprised the government hasn’t asked for Jay Cutler’s assistance. After all, he is an expert on overthrows.

    • Buddy

      Hey hey!

    • You could write for Leno.

  • AC0000000

    Here is something Ozzie should have said: With all the attempts to kill Castro, I’m surprised the government hasn’t asked for Jay Cutler’s assistance. After all, he is an expert on overthrows.

    • Buddy

      Hey hey!

    • You could write for Leno.

  • Doc Raker

    And the Hawks lose on the softest goal ever seen outside of Squirt hockey, but I love this town Chicago is, a toddling town Chicago is.

  • Doc Raker

    And the Hawks lose on the softest goal ever seen outside of Squirt hockey, but I love this town Chicago is, a toddling town Chicago is.

  • Eddie Von White

    Good job Buddy. Yesterday was a great day to be stuck in the office. I don’t think Ozzie outdid himself with his Castro comments. He was saying what he truly believes. If the Marlins management had any stones at all, he’d be toast.

    If I may…one more handy statement for next time: “Baseball can be summed up in one word: ‘You never know.'”

  • Eddie Von White

    Good job Buddy. Yesterday was a great day to be stuck in the office. I don’t think Ozzie outdid himself with his Castro comments. He was saying what he truly believes. If the Marlins management had any stones at all, he’d be toast.

    If I may…one more handy statement for next time: “Baseball can be summed up in one word: ‘You never know.'”

  • Doc Raker

    Ozzie’s Castro comments are to abhor but they don’t surprise me, Ozzie is from Valenzuela where a similar unhinged socialist dictator rules in Hugo Chavez. I can believe with Ozzie’s serf intellect that he buys into the propaganda of both of these dictators. The South Florida Cubans escaped the evils of Castro’s dictatorship but Ozzie currently lives under a dictator that considers Castro a mentor so I can understand how Ozzie hasn’t learned all the lessons of lost freedom and liberty due to totalitarianism, heck many Americans still don’t understand that lesson. Bottom line, if the Miami Marlins want to court the Cuban demographic as their fan base they better hire people that do understand how much human suffering has come at the hands of socialism.

    • Eddie Von White

       Couldn’t of said it better myself. That is exactly true.

    • Say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude…at least it’s an ethos.

      • Seymour Butts

        Socialism may work in a hippie commune, but in a democracy it’s only useful to slander anyone whose point of view you disagree with.

      • BLPCB

        Ever see the Simpsons episode where Burns steals a trillion dollar bill? Even Fidel was ready to admit socialism doesn’t work.

      • Doc Raker

        Socialism has failed everywhere it has been tried including hippie communes, a historian you are not Seymour, just likevall your hippie friends.

    • Seymour Butts

      I thought Fernando Valenzuela was from Mexico, and Ozzie from Venezuela?

    • flyslinger2

      The current regime that we suffer under is no better. A centralized command and control government is what they are after.

      • BLPCB

        Yeah, but you can still openly say you hate Barry and not get tarred and feathered for it

    • Buddy

      Nothing Ozzie Guillen says or does surprises me. He’s the textbook definition of a loose cannon.  Reason number 274 I wouldn’t want him as my manager.

    • BLPCB

      When the White Sox won the WS in 2005, Ozzie said he likes Chavez

      • Doc Raker

        Which is evidence #1134 that Ozzie Guillen is an idiot.

      • BLPCB

        Isn’t that a little redundant?

  • Doc Raker

    Ozzie’s Castro comments are to abhor but they don’t surprise me, Ozzie is from Valenzuela where a similar unhinged socialist dictator rules in Hugo Chavez. I can believe with Ozzie’s serf intellect that he buys into the propaganda of both of these dictators. The South Florida Cubans escaped the evils of Castro’s dictatorship but Ozzie currently lives under a dictator that considers Castro a mentor so I can understand how Ozzie hasn’t learned all the lessons of lost freedom and liberty due to totalitarianism, heck many Americans still don’t understand that lesson. Bottom line, if the Miami Marlins want to court the Cuban demographic as their fan base they better hire people that do understand how much human suffering has come at the hands of socialism.

    • Eddie Von White

       Couldn’t of said it better myself. That is exactly true.

    • Say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude…at least it’s an ethos.

      • Seymour Butts

        Socialism may work in a hippie commune, but in a democracy it’s only useful to slander anyone whose point of view you disagree with.

      • AC0000000

        Ever see the Simpsons episode where Burns steals a trillion dollar bill? Even Fidel was ready to admit socialism doesn’t work.

      • Doc Raker

        Socialism has failed everywhere it has been tried including hippie communes, a historian you are not Seymour, just likevall your hippie friends.

    • Seymour Butts

      I thought Fernando Valenzuela was from Mexico, and Ozzie from Venezuela?

    • flyslinger2

      The current regime that we suffer under is no better. A centralized command and control government is what they are after.

      • AC0000000

        Yeah, but you can still openly say you hate Barry and not get tarred and feathered for it

    • Buddy

      Nothing Ozzie Guillen says or does surprises me. He’s the textbook definition of a loose cannon.  Reason number 274 I wouldn’t want him as my manager.

    • AC0000000

      When the White Sox won the WS in 2005, Ozzie said he likes Chavez

      • Doc Raker

        Which is evidence #1134 that Ozzie Guillen is an idiot.

      • AC0000000

        Isn’t that a little redundant?

  • Doug Bagley

    I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure Both Geo & Byrd struck out with at least a runner on 3rd & less then 2 outs…what is up with these 2?

    • Chetwest

      they suck, thats what’s up with them

  • Doug Bagley

    I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure Both Geo & Byrd struck out with at least a runner on 3rd & less then 2 outs…what is up with these 2?

    • Chetwest

      they suck, thats what’s up with them

  • flyslinger2

    They are predictable and consistent.

  • flyslinger2

    They are predictable and consistent.