It’s nice to be back! I know you all missed me (lest you never find yourself on my Lizzie list again!) but for those who may have been out of touch, I was away for my usual every-other-Thursday GirlieView slot. I’d like to send a special shout out of thanks to Jedi for filling in for me, with a thorough and interesting new coach introduction!

Last time you may remember we made our Super Bowl predictions, as follows:

  • BLPCB: Giants 21, Patriots 17 (!!!!!)
  • Buddy: Patriots 27, Giants 20
  • cap’n obvious: Patriots 24, Giants 13
  • Mark P.: Patriots 35, Giants 31
  • gymjok: Patriots 31, Giants 27
  • flyslinger2: Patriots 31, Giants 17

As you can see, no one had a prayer after BLPCB‘s spot on first guess! Thanks for playing!

I’ll be doing two Thursdays in a row to get us back on schedule. In order to even out the time frame some (and because I needed to write this extra-early this week), these Lizzies cover 01/24/2012 through 02/12/2012. Next week’s column will pick up from there.

Enjoy!

Lizzies

  • Matt Szczur missed 2 months of his junior season in college when he was a bone marrow donor for a total stranger. Nice.
  • Thank you Theo for not pursuing Prince’s long term deal.
  • When 20 pitches from Jeff Samardzija is the most “sure-thing” in your bullpen, that’s a crap bullpen.
  • Why on Earth would a rebuilding team sign old crappy players when you can have young crappy players at a fraction of the cost?
  • I’d opine that an upgrade at catcher should be in the works as well, but if I did that, I’d never get another Lizzie….so viva Geovanni and his .250 on-base percentage…
  • Light-hitting DeWitt can hit lightly elsewhere as far as I’m concerned.
  • Sorry about the season Butts. I’d like a review of the grilled turkey and cheese sandwiches. (on a scale of one to subway)
  • The Nationals, after being rumored to be involved in every big free agent dalliance this off-season, realize  ”Oh $#%^, our fans were expecting something big this year to make up for last year’s Jayson Werth money pit…time to turn up the hype machine on this Gio kid!”
  • Baseball is slow enough- played by a bunch of 50+ crippled men it gets really slow.
  • Lizzie–maybe we’ll have to round up some VFTB Girlies one year and invade. :)
  • Saddle Ranch’s wine list was pathetic…but I needed my anti-oxidants, so I had a couple of glasses of zin. Had I known they were to be delivered in a plastic wine glass, I’d have opted for something else. Like Quiznos.
  • Whenever I am in Port Huron, I make sure to swing by my two favorite things in St. Clair County…the Blue Water Bridge and Fort Gratiot Lighthouse.
  • And there you have it jswanson, looking at a bridge is a highlight in tourism marketing here in Port Huron.
  • The city council must be anti-phallus…you would think the lighthouse would get top billing.
  • I, on the other hand, had precious little experience in such activities, other than one or two post-Hawkeyes co-eds in the dorms of UIC some 20 years prior.
  • Out of respect for Mrs Obvious I will bite my tongue about the Cap’n premarital dating habits.
  • Out of respect for the large, fuzzy UIC alumni, I’ll follow suit.
  • Woo-hoo! I’m no longer a Lizzies virgin!
  • I will now be able to rest at night knowing that I have been Lizzied.
  • Puppy Bowl prediction: The Golden runs away with it.
  • Only baseball could force their All-Star Game to matter while involving key participants who have zero incentive to win.
  • It’s easy to root for a consistent winner–to learn to love a team that makes frequent trips to the postseason, and is a perennial contender each spring. It’s much harder to raise Cubs fans.
  • I don’t have the exact stats in front of me to back it up, but kids whose parents root for opposing sports teams are something like 800% more likely to bring guns to school, try meth as a pre-teen, join a gang, and/or wind up working as a drug mule.  It’s science.
  • don’t be one of those fans.  You know the ones I’m talking about
  • I passed my Cubs (and baseball in general) fan-dom up a generation to my dad. Sorry dad.
  • My kids had no chance. They have been infected with the soul-crushing curse of Cub fandom since birth.
  • Play the game of baseball with your kids. Play catch, throw them BP, do bullpens with them, coach their Little League team, take them to spring training.
  • You math whizzes are all alike.
  • Our mom even made us Cubs Halloween costumes–I was Jody Davis and MJ was Ryno.
  • Being a Cubs fans is often painful, but I wouldn’t trade it.
  • I think I would try for that last insanity plea and order something like fence post topped with eraser shaving gravy and a side of radiator hosing.
  • the Cubs chance of making the post-season and being swept in the first round just increased.
  • Dear Bud, Allow me to assist you in identifying a significant Cubs player to compensate the Red Sox with. Soriano.
  • No offense, (which inevitably means one is coming)
  • the Giants are apparently fighting the Orioles for former Cubs – they’ve signed Ryan Theriot and in the process reunited the best mulleted pint-sized cajun DP combo
  • Knowing (or at least assuming) that neither has a long future or an inside track for a starting job with the Cubs, I’ll take Scales over Blake DeWitt on the bench.
  • Spam (the pseudo-meat, or the Nigerian Prince’s email scheme)
  • The scouts probably just put too much stock in his AHRBWBI (Almost Home Runs But Wind Blowing In) and ASBBTMB1B (Almost Stolen Base But Too Muddy By First Base.)
  • I like the fact that Matthew Broderick has gone on to a distinguished career as an actor, and is still able to check his ego enough to embrace the role that started it all.
  • I think they have a whole bunch of AAs in the trunk.
  • I think I read somewhere the compensation is 2 Giordano’s deep dishes and a sixer of old style.
  • There will be playoffs following the 2012 Major League Baseball season, this much we know for sure.
  • Nobody wants to see a hockey-style everybody-in-the-pool playoffs in baseball.
  • The always-threatening/promising-to-retire-only-to-later-renege Bud Selig
  • Selig’s commissioner-ship (?) will be remembered for his steadfast commitment to fixing supposed problems with inane half-measures.
  • While I dislike the DH in principal, both leagues should use the same rules.
  • Yeah, I’ve met some famous people…and they have met me.
  • I sat by a hungover Randy Wells on a plane ride to Charlotte
  • Pat Hughes….Good Guy
  • Just like Buddy to bring up politics when he’s answering “Who Am I” questions…no politics Buddy – it’s part of the VFTB 10 commandments…you just can’t ever let it go!
  • One fringe player for another. No big whoop.
  • Maybe the real story is that Bobby Scales’ chances of making the team just got a little better.
  • I was in a band in college called the Cane Toad Explosion.
  • And he wears that stupid cutoff sweatshirt thing.
  • Different mediums require different things.
  • Let’s just call him Dale.
  • No word so far on whether he’s a horse racing enthusiast.
  • Coacaine and heroin are an option to all of us….everyday.  That we don’t get hung-up or strung-out is a small achievement, but the idiots that don’t should not be villified for quitting, they should be chastised for being so shit-all stupid that they got involved in the first place.
  • Jedi, how dare you have facial hair but be bald in your avatar. This is insulting for all those people who are bald and have facial hair. And you call yourself a journalist…hmph.
  • And oh yeah, how dare you call yourself Jedi! This is insulting for all the Star Wars fans out there, have you no shred of decency left? And you call yourself a journalist…hmph.
  • in reality it’s pronounced like “jetty” (use that in a sentence please, “when Ronald Washington was first experimenting with cocaine, he sailed his boat into a jetty and it sank”).
  • Dude (Dudess?) The coke thing was a joke, we do that here. Not always funny, but lightens up the day. But I’m sure the Jedi will forgive you, he’s rarely critical of others attempts at humor.
  • Touche Seymour.  Or should I say Jerry.
  • Anyone else think it is funny that this ass trolled us with two coked-out run-on sentences?
  • There are simply too many other options available to expect me to invest a bunch of time in a game I don’t care about.
  • I am approximately one million miles away from any ballpark, so am likely to once again consume my media in audio form from Pat and Keith
  • MLB and FOX gets an F for this one and Jeremiah gets an A.
  • If I want to draw myself a warm bath and sip a Dad’s rootbeer while listening to Dan Fogelberg it doesn’t make me anyting but me.
  • It seems like nine out of 10 humans look down at other people for the books they read, the cars they drive, the wine they drink, the movies they watch, the clothes they wear, etc. Why is this the case? As Chris from IL likes to say, “Most people are idiots.”
  • I’ve always thought less judgementleness (please don’t judge me for making up a new word) would make this world a better place.

Lizard

  • In a move that is surprising to no one, Detroit Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera confirmed Tuesday that he’ll be moving approximately 127.27 feet across the diamond

(Practical, appropriate and correct usage of the Pythagorean theorem!)

2012 Overall Standings (1 point for each Lizzie, 3 points for the Lizard)

  • jswanson – 20
  • cap’n Obvious – 17
  • Jeremiah Johnson – 16
  • Buddy – 15
  • Doc Raker – 15
  • Jedi Johnson – 15
  • Seymour Butts – 11
  • Chuck – 9
  • Dustin Godsey – 8
  • Kris – 7
  • Doug S. – 5
  • BLPCB – 4
  • gymjok – 4
  • JoeAiello – 4
  • Chet – 3
  • Norm – 3
  • chris in illinois – 2
  • flyslinger2 – 2
  • Katie – 2
  • Noah – 2
  • Tom C – 2
  • Fourteen others have 1 apiece

Shout Outs

Congrats to the following folks who got their first 2012 Lizzie this week!

  • CubbieDude
  • Dragon
  • Eddie Von White
  • Eric Smith
  • Tom C

Lizzie’s Kitchen

Chit Chat

The GirlieView household had this discussion recently and I’d like to hear from others. If you had to get rid of one or the other: your television(s) or your internet access, which would you prefer to do without? (For the purposes of this discussion, pretend you can’t watch movies/TV shows over the internet and you can’t access the internet through your TV.) What say you?

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.