We’ve got plenty to discuss today. Not only do we have TWO weeks in review (since I was off last week) but effective with Brandon’s column from this morning, the season-long Lizzie contest officially starts. We’re wiping the stats slate clean and starting a new count with any Lizzies and Lizards awarded from columns between today and the week in which the final game of the World Series is played. You’ll receive one point for each Lizzie you are awarded, and three points for each Lizard.

For those new to the site (and I’m hoping there will be plenty now that the season is right around the corner!), each Monday in this GirlieView column I compile a “week in review” type collection of comments. The list is made up of quotes I find particularly funny, timely, etc. from our readers and writers (myself excluded. I’d win. Heh.) The best comments of the week are called “Lizzies” and the very best of those is called the “Lizard”. If you need some hints on how to raise your LLP (Likely Lizzie Percentage) please see my helpful hints here.

Each week I’ll post the running top ten. Be sure to use a consistent email address throughout the season, so I know who you are (email addresses will not be published). Should you need to change your email address mid-season, let me know or shout it out loud in the comments so I notice. You don’t have to shout out the actual address, just that you changed it. I’ll replace the old with the new from the behind-the-scenes info.

Game on! Here are the weeks (2) in review. These don’t count toward the contest. Great stuff though! Hearty thanks to everyone who stuck with us during the off season and entertained us while we counted down to live baseball!

Lizzies

  • While it’s fun to have a lot of runs (and something we haven’t had in a while), the lack of a good defense can lose championships.
  • I have a coworker who is a Mariners fan. Poor delusional fella honestly believes that their defense is brag-worthy. I’m not sure, but have a feeling that Ronnie Cedeno was one of their better hitters…
  • I’ll take offense to get me to the playoffs then watch some poor shmuck let a slow roller go between his legs to cost us a game 7.
  • I take defense first in any sport, especially if you’re going to promise me middle of the pack offense.
  • I’m holding out. I want it all.
  • Phil Donohew wears a Rockford Peach uniform from the Women’s Baseball League including the skirt and follows Gina Davis around like he has a chance to reach second base.
  • I wore 23 for years (for obvious Cubs reasoning), until I got married, then I swtiched to a number that represented our anniversary date. My wife told me I should never forget it now.
  • Note to self: Rockford Peaches #69 available for next year’s Randy Hundley fantasy camp
  • “Hello, this is little Billy Bibens-Dirkx- Johnson-Rodriquez.”
  • The list of Cubs potential breakout players who never quite made it keeps going longer than the Energizer Bunny.
  • Seymour O’Butts
  • I thought we weren’t supposed to put love, size and muscle in the same sentence.
  • If you use love, size, muscle, and Geo in the same sentence, you might be on the fast track to a Lizzie.
  • We got holes, big gaping holes.
  • We know Carlos Silva is not quite right.  This was the nicest way I could phrase it. I am biting my tongue and trying my best not to violate the VFTB swearing policy for us writers.
  • Strippers and horses should have the name Star, not your stud shortstop.
  • [Pena] is kind of like that girl you keep around, but you never commit too.
  • The real hole here appears to be Soriano.
  • If we are middle of the pack, i just hope we aren’t victim to Hendry trying to save his job by selling the farm for a rent-a-slugger in a meager, short-sighted attempt to contend.
  • I don’t disagree with this strategy if management truly commits to that type of long-term commitment. But you can’t do it half-assed.
  • You just don’t know until you know.
  • My frustration is this….with an open door to the Central how are we not shoe in? How is a major market team like the Cubs in a position of this nature? How do we not have a valid contingency plan at most of our positions?
  • Byrd hit right-handers last year like my Aunt Nancy
  • If the Cubs are ever gonna be serious contenders, year in and year out, they’re gonna have to stop playing nice.
  • I used to be in a band called Home Grown.
  • I have dinner plans with the Eastern European minor leaguers so any questions for them please forward.
  • Maybe you could collect and publish some of their favorite traditional lamb dish recipies, Doc.
  • If you want to actually have dinner with some ball players, feel free to tell them you know me.
  • Does somebody in the front office have a crush on [Ojeda]?
  • I was scheduled to have dinner with Woody and then I dropped Seymour’s name and I was led over to the Kosovo prospects table.
  • I don’t care how the Cubs get players, as long as they are useful players.
  • Along with some variations of hummus and babba ganoosh, jswanson.
  • I feel your pain. I wrote a post about toner last month…
  • I have a Cubs #22 jersey as well. I pretend it’s for Bill Buckner, and that Mark Prior never existed. It eases my pain.
  • Now, instead of wearing our Prior shirts together, we wear cubbie logoed arm slings…
  • I have a Prior bobble-head in it’s box. I stuffed a ball he signed in the same box. One day the ball fell out of the box to the floor. It was a better pitch than the real Prior throws
  • Despite Castillo’s outstanding spring, I would be surprised if the Cubs parted ways with Hill.
  • My respect for Quade/Hendry would skyrocket if they released Silva, Hill, and Ojeda, and gave the rotation spot to Cashner, the backup C spot to Castillo, and the SS bu to Barney.
  • [Silva]’d look good in a Cards uniform.
  • With our luck, Silva will go to the Cards and dominate the NL.
  • I’m not a cunning linguist, but believe the conventional way is what Keith is using. That said, the correct way is entirely up to the guy who owns it.
  • Jeff Fassero is the pitching coach for low A, Peoria- I invited him to dinner but he already had plans with Seymour.
  • We invited them to dinner but they had plans with Seymour.
  • We invited him to dinner but he had plans with Seymour.
  • We wished him luck for the season and invited him to dinner. He couldn’t come to dinner since he had plans with Seymour.
  • Some security guy chased us off the field, he is a retired military officer and works part time at the Angels complex, very pleasant fellow when not reprimanding you. We invited him to dinner but he had plans with Seymour.
  • Long comment, Doc. I’ll have to read it later…some cardiologist wants to buy me lunch.
  • Turns out “lunch” was a masked pitch for timeshares in Yuma.
  • I think the wild card is out, though; I think the Rockies or Braves will take it. It’s division or bust for the Cubbies.
  • What Raker realizes and mocks, is that I do know these guys (albeit not closely). Jeff Fassero was the pitching coach last year for the Boise low A team, and I spent 2 entire games sitting 2 feet from him, occasionally speaking with him and eating dinner (ballpark fare). Raker on the other hand has spent the last 3 months as a life coach for Charlie Sheen.
  • Doc Raker is a genius…look where he has taken my career. From rich sitcom star to hugely famous booze-addled whore monger who is now the biggest star in America.
  • I need to meet up with my main man Seymour for dinner soon.
  • I am sure this is a delicate balance, but to me it seems Jim has a tighter grasp on this team then he did when Piniella was manager.
  • So fast that if I were saying, “I’m releasing you, Carlos,” he would be released by the time I got to the apostrophe.
  • This team is not great, but they don’t suck either.
  • Hi-Ho Silva….Away !!!!!!!
  • We’ll know for certain if Hendry comes out and throws a base
  • Cubs win 120 games in 2011, hey, it’s still spring training baby!
  • I think his ways are antiquated and his ego is massive.
  • maybe my low expectations will translate to surprising success
  • who?
  • When we go to spring training we always go and watch the minor leaguers, you see a mass of ball playing humanity

Lizard

  • Season hasn’t started yet and I’m already sick of Ryan Braun.

Monday Discussion Question

By now I’m sure you’ve heard the weekend Silva saga (he lost the last remaining rotation spot to Cashner, lost the final bullpen spot to Mateo, didn’t want an Iowa assignment, whined to the press, was released Sunday.) My question to you is, does this increase your confidence in the Cubs’ management team? I must say I was completely floored by the decision. Not because I didn’t think it was the absolutely correct choice, but because they had the dangly bits to make it. What say you?

 


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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.