Good afternoon! As promised, in preparation for the Lizzie game (which will begin when the real season starts) may I offer six tips toward increasing your LLP (Likely Lizzie Percentage). Really whether you’re playing the game or not, you should know at least some of the criteria … maybe disrobe some of my subjectivity.

  1. Be funny. Humor is your fastest path to the Lizzie list. Saying something which mirrors my opinion works just as well too, but that’s not as easy since you won’t always know where I stand. Heck sometimes I don’t even know where I stand! So that part is a crap shoot. :-)
  2. Don’t insult. You can express your distaste for someone’s level of play (or your fellow commenters’ points of view) without using derogatory names or insults about their ethnicity, sexual orientation, weight, mother, etc. (Once you find yourself on my sh*t list for this, you’ll probably remain there for quite some time.)
  3. Don’t be too foul. Trust me, I swear like a sailor and thoroughly enjoy your off-color comments. But even if I laugh out loud at what you write, I won’t award it if it crosses that invisible line from funny to filth.
  4. Politics will get you nowhere. I encourage all types of discussions and sometimes even take part (when civil). But political commentary will never end up in the Lizzie list. Neither will conversations about religion, private bodily functions, or any combination thereof.
  5. Don’t try too hard. If you’re fishing and I can tell, I won’t bite.
  6. My very favorite type of conversation is when we actually talk to each other. It’s fine for us to bring up a topic and everyone drops by and lists their opinion as if no one else is here. But if you flip back through past Lizzies you’ll see how fond I am of friendly back-and-forth conversation among people who are essentially strangers but can chat and joke with each other just because we happened to come together around our favorite team. Even when our opinions differ!

See, it’s way more scientific than you thought isn’t it? Good luck! Remember, this has nothing to do with what you can and cannot say or do here at VFTB overall. You can talk about anything you want. This is just clarifying how I pick the Lizzies! And, speaking of Lizzies:

Lizzies

  • I’m not sure what is better, that I’m starting the week with a Lizzie and the Lizard…or that I’m getting married on Saturday!
  • Could be a nice little afternoon in the cube…
  • Nothing like that sweet smell of spring, and the hope that this year is finally the year.
  • Way more fun + Way less work = Way Happier Lizzie
  • Broad- not a commentary, just my anti-spam word.
  • Old Man Signings … Grade: Who Cares?
  • I saw Gorz as a backup suit. I only have need for one suit, but I kind of wish I had an extra one, so that I could have something to reject to feel better about the suit I did choose. And if my one suit gets blood all over it (you know, from all the spy stuff I’d do in my suit), I’d still have a suit to wear. We traded him for some serviceable socks. I’ve got plenty of socks. So that’s a “C.”
  • There was no slam-dunk lopsided deal and there was no head-scratchingly bad deal either.
  • The 2011 Cubs should, at worst, be at least slightly better than the 2010 Cubs and this was accomplished without screwing up 2012.
  • With all due respect to Lizzie, my anti-spam word is broad.
  • You can’t be Brian Cashman when you’re flashing Billy Beane’s American Express card.
  • You owe it to yourself to be optimistic at this time of the year.
  • Go with a solid B and be happy about it. It’s hard to envision a scenario that would have been better this off-season. You can’t trade players without a willing partner, so don’t dream up lopsided trades that could have happened.
  • If I squint real hard I can see the Cubs taking the division because the division has no dominant team.
  • To sum up, I give Hendry a smiley face sticker and and extra cookie after dinner.
  • The best thing Hendry did is maintain flexibility for next year.
  • i give hendry a “c” because his direction goes in two different directions .
  • Can two bat crap crazy pitchers be able to get along in the same rotation? Only Felix Unger and Oscar Madison know.
  • He doesn’t beat his wife. He doesn’t have run ins with the law. He never seemed like a young ungrateful superstar punk like so many are today. And most important I have never seen him talk to his ‘digital me’ while mumbling about his beard having magic in it. That all adds up to ‘good guy’ in my book.
  • i’m betting the central race will be the tightest in baseball .
  • I’m willing to bet you that Carlos Pena finishes with a better OPS when all is said and done this year compared with Adam Dunn.
  • The only real surprise is the last name of the Carlos in the fracas.
  • We’ll see pretty quickly if Quade is the guy for this job.
  • My first thought was, “Hopefully Aramis Ramirez didn’t break has hand on Silva’s face.”
  • Poor fundamentals is a hallmark of Cubs baseball, why would the first week of spring training be any different.
  • It’s not realistic to think that a new manager somehow makes veteran baseball players better at defense.
  • I think it will be one of two extremes. [Zambrano] will either completely melt down or he will be great. I see no middle ground.
  • Does the recurring headline “Carlos in Dugout Scuffle With Corner Infielder” mean that Pena will get into a fight with himself?
  • Maybe Marmol and Vitters will knuckle-up today.
  • flayers (faker + player= flayer). Not to be confused with jayer, (jaker + player=jayer)
  • I want to believe that Blake Dewitt can be the guy.
  • it’s nice to see the increase in comments
  • I always wanted to get into a “here’s the pizza, and here’s the peperoni ” situation, but that didn’t happen either. Better luck to you.

Lizard

  • There is some sort of cryptic message underneath it all…something about an Ikea microwave. I’m not sure how the broad fits into the picture.

Monday Afternoon Discussion Question

The other day Joe mentioned Kerry Wood is his favorite Cub, and Carlos Zambrano is one of his least favorite. That got me to wondering. Who is your favorite? And who’s you’re least favorite? I’ll start:

Favorite: Geovany Soto. Most of you already knew this, and most of you also know why. :-)
Least Favorite: Carlos Zambrano (upstaging Alfonso Soriano who held this spot for me ever since Jason Marquis was traded. I’m counting on Carlos to recognize the benefit of staying in my good graces thereby keeping his antics in check this year.)

Let’s hear your choices!


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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.