Archive for January, 2011
Good morning! For those of you lucky enough to have a day off in honor of the good Dr. King, I hope you’re enjoying your long weekend. For those of you who are back to work, well, hope you enjoyed your (now over) weekend. :-) Let’s review last week:
- It’s a welcome change to see the Cubs deal prospects while they’re still high in value rather than wait until they bust like we’ve seen with guys like Rich Hill, Felix Pie, and Corey Patterson.
- Matt Garza…good pitcher, bad judge of facial hair.
- Now, let’s hire that same sports psychologist that worked with Garza and hope he can keep the mercurial 2/5th of the starters straight this season.
- I’m just impressed that Chuck’s desk-car can do 20 MPH.
- 1. Z is good Z all year.
2. Aramis is healthy all year.
3. Wood can give us 60 dominant innings.
4. We get a better 2B.
5. Geo, Castro and Wells continue to progress.
6. General good health.
7. Soriano hits league-average vs RHP.
If five of these come to pass, we are in good shape.
- 8. If the Reds bus driver can’t find Wrigley Field.
9. If Pujols gets drafted into Afghanistan.
10. Miller Park does a Metrodome and the Brewers are on the road for their home schedule.
These would also be helpful for the Cubs playoff chances.
- I now know why Van Gogh cut off an ear, he had a bug in there.
- I was graded a 2 for a ground out to third, since ball rolled to third base off my face.
- Hope springs eternal, but the yellow ‘proceed with caution” light is still shining brightly at chez obvious
- i had a friend who took a line drive to the groin during a baseball game while pitching . lesson learned ….keep your eyes on your balls .
- Had a lot of scotch that night.
- I’m just going to cast my ‘greatest moments in reader injury history’ vote for Capn right now. While I’m at it, I’m going to give my ‘least awkward segue to girlie-mag-centric braggadocio’ to you too Cap…nicely played, sir.
- At which time I heard, ‘Oh that is bad!” followed by someone telling that woman to shut up so that I didn’t freak out.
- not necessarily in order of suck
- I’ve deduced that there is a direct correlation to players whose names contain 2 vowels in a row and the ‘oh no” tag. Aardsma, Neifi, Neil Cotts, Jaques Jones, and Aaron…both Heilman and Miles.
- Neil Cotts and Bob Howry
- I see Chuck’s Cotts and Howry, and raise him a Grabow.
- captain suck himself Will Ohman
- Did I ever mention that Aaron Heilman is an anagram for ‘I am an anal Hero”?
- Currently it’s John Gra…NOOOO! I would just turn off the TV or the radio when Lou called his number. Then Lou kept doing it, even though the guy was throwing grapefruits my grandma could hit, and she’s been dead for 15 years.
- If anyone even mentions Jim Edmund’s name, I’m gonna stick my nutsack in an electrical outlet
- I’m beginning to think that perhaps Dr van Nostrand isn’t an actual MD.
- By the way, if Perez doesn’t make the cut this spring, can we consider him for the spot in the radio booth?
- The ‘dirty monkey” is a fine dessert drink down in Mexico. Not to be confused with the Capn’s ‘dirty monkey’ tricks he used to play before he was married.
- One of the best catches I’ve ever seen by anyone, right up there with top plays in my own baseball history.
- The Local weather guy this morning twice pointed out a current temperature of 54 degrees, and less than a minute later predicted a high today of 50. And we wonder why America can’t compete in Math and Science anymore.
- I didn’t even know teleprompter reading was a science. We do suck.
- I don’t dislike the Pirates, but the Brewers, Reds, and especially the Cardinals can go sit on a snake.
- I totally forgot about the Astros. Let’s put them, oh, say, 10th.
- This just in. One of the pitchers in the rotation will be the Opening Day starter!
Monday Morning Discussion Question
There was plenty of interesting and entertaining news coming out of the Cubs Convention this weekend. (Must admit the more amusing and telling pieces were written by bloggers and not by “official” news sources, but perhaps I’m biased.) On the cubs.com convention roundup article, they snuck in this little bit:
The Cubs may go with a leadoff by committee with Quade rotating players in the No. 1 spot in the lineup depending on matchups. Among the candidates are Jeff Baker, DeWitt and Kosuke Fukudome.
This knocked the wind out of my sails and let me tell you it wasn’t a gale force wind to begin with. More like a slight breeze. But that did it. Not only the “by committee” part, but when I actually processed the choices and realized this is all we’ve got, I’m now officially pessimistic and I’m counting on you guys to talk me out of it! Who would you put at the top of the lineup? And/or, at least help me feel better about the options!
Rank the NL Central teams in order of your preference, favorite to least favorite.
It’s Thursday which means it’s time for me to put finger to key and try to come up with something that doesn’t make you want to click away after three seconds. Hopefully you enjoyed the information we brought about the Matt Garza trade. I know Mark over at the Ray Area worked hard on his portion. Since that trade, it seems like there has actually be a few things that have come across my e-mail that I’d like to comment on.
Before we get to that, a quick tangent. How cool is it when you’re dealing with a company and receive a fair amount of incompetence and poor service to finally get a good representative that has half a brain and knows what their doing. All of a sudden it’s as if the heavens have opened up and God is smiling on you. It always makes me laugh because I really don’t know how to handle the person that provided said service. You feel like giving them a hug and thanking them 100 times. Instead I typically try to get their name and ask for a supervisor to let them know, though I’m sure that person is a reject and simply nods and hangs up. I had this happen with Sprint today and it made me wonder what you guys do when you get a particularly good customer service rep.
Reed Johnson’s Back!!! – First it was Kerry Wood that decided to come back to Chicago. Now, the Cubs announced that Reed Johnson, one of my favorite Cubs, has signed a minor league deal with an invite to spring training to compete for a reserve outfield job. Right now we know Sori, Byrd and Fukudome are locks. You’d figure Colvin is a lock as well. That leaves one spot in the outfield for either Johnson or Fernando Perez. I’ll be honest. Both are such good guys for a clubhouse that it’s hard not to want both of them to make the team. One option to get them both in there would be to have Colvin be in there as the backup first baseman. That would let him slot in there when needed but also give Quade some flexibility with being able to carry Perez and Johnson. Obviously all this is contingent on the fact that both guys would have to actually be able to hit the baseball. Failure to do that makes it moot, but I like both Johnson and Perez a lot. Perez has been here under a week and he’s already one of my new favorite Cubs. He tore apart a Cubs blogger that tried a pretty sad attempt at satire at his expense.
Some of my favorite quotes:
Hey “Ace” an ‘attendant’ is someone that is employed to provide service—you meant that I was an ‘attendee’; someone who attends something, like the Cubs convention for instance. If you’d have done your homework and had seen this, you could have actually went with ‘attendant’— that would have been sort of funny actually. You also spelled ‘heroes’ wrong but that one’s a toughie, I’m sure nobody caught it.
Ace, there are so many places you could have went with this. If it was going to be a college joke about me being molested in my adolescence, you might as well have called me a “fag” or something for my well-documented poetic leanings. Let’s see, well, I’m a little funny looking with my short torso, high butt and long arms, sometimes I end up tucking in my jersey numbers in my pants—nobody likes that. I was in a musical too. Thats pretty lame I guess. You certainly should have brought up my career stats. Not so great thus far. There’s also that ridiculous picture I consented to take for a magazine, where I’m holding a polo mallet. Ewwww. I was poorer then, and I thought I’d get to keep the jeans. I was duped! But that’s neither here nor there, its on the internet, it’s fair game, and it’s a really nerdy photo. The point is, Ace, I’m such an easy target, how could you blow this! (Full Post)
Koyie Hill gets PAID – Well, not much. The Cubs agreed to a deal for him that pays $850K. It’s not terrible, considering Robinson Chirinos is gone now and Wellington Castillo is not quite ready. Hill will compete with Castillo and newly acquired Max Ramirez for the backup spot this spring. My guess is that Hill will win the job. According to Carrie Muskat, “Geovany Soto and pitchers Matt Garza, Carlos Marmol, Sean Marshall, and Tom Gorzelanny are the Cubs’ remaining arbitration eligible players. Jeff Baker, 29, also was arbitration eligible but he renewed Dec. 2 on a $1.175 million contract.”
Paul Sullivan Gets to the Heart of the Story – “Quade also declined to name an Opening Day starter, saying it would be between Matt Garza, Carlos Zambrano and Ryan Dempster.” Did he really just write that and try to pass it off as reporting? He couldn’t press the issue just a little. I could post that and never have even talked with Quade. Good grief Sully, you’re better than that. Don’t get lazy on us.
As Cubs season’s pass me by none of them ever seem the same. They all have their own little theme or characteristics that carry them to there end. For instance, 1998 will always be Sammy’s year and 2003 will be the Bartman year. You could say that 2009 was the “Milton Bradley Meltdown” year and 2010 was, well, we will call it the “Youth Explosion” year in order to stay positive.
There are, however, those same underlying currents that accompany each season likewise. The other night a friend and I were sitting in a local Wrigleyville haunt admiring some of the Cubs memorabilia on the walls when the conversation of all conversations started. He and I have a very interesting relationship. Our communication almost goes dormant for the winter but when a sniff of baseball season hits the wind we are right back in touch. If there is somebody I want to talk Cubs with, he is the guy. The trick to this little meeting was the fact that Cubs season is nowhere near. So we did what great baseball fans do, we dug up the past.
As we hit every season we also hashed out every memory, like the time I ate a hotdog per inning for 10 straight innings (yah it went into extras) or the time we were handed free tickets outside the box office and they happen to be 4 rows up from the dugout. The biggest topic , bizarrly enough, was the “Oh No!” player.
Definition: Oh No! Player
-A player who enters the game, either at the plate or on the mound, and always, predictably, implodes to the point of no return…. Yet they keep coming back.
My friend went through his list of Oh No! players and even recounted a time when La Troy Hawkins was dragged out of the pen in an act of torture exacted on all Cubs fans by the manager. The Cubs had a one run lead heading into the ninth and then came the call and out rolled Hawkins and my friend stood up from the bar and asked for his check and left in a fury! As he left the front door of the bar Hawkins third pitch went yard and the game was tied……I will let you guess who ended up winning. That is an “Oh No!” player!
Here is a list of my Oh No! players, not necessarily in order of suck…..
1) Felix Heredia
2) Antonio Alfonseca
3) Jeff Fassero
4) Sammy Sosa (at times)
5) La Troy Hawkins
6) Milton Bradley
7) Lenny Harris
The list could go on but to save space……
Anyhow, here is my question for you readers……who is your “Oh No!” player? Who is your guy that when he strides to the plate or runs in from the dugout makes you say Oh No! ……check please!