As Cubs season’s pass me by none of them ever seem the same. They all have their own little theme or characteristics that carry them to there end. For instance, 1998 will always be Sammy’s year and 2003 will be the Bartman year. You could say that 2009 was the “Milton Bradley Meltdown” year and 2010 was, well, we will call it the “Youth Explosion” year in order to stay positive.
There are, however, those same underlying currents that accompany each season likewise. The other night a friend and I were sitting in a local Wrigleyville haunt admiring some of the Cubs memorabilia on the walls when the conversation of all conversations started. He and I have a very interesting relationship. Our communication almost goes dormant for the winter but when a sniff of baseball season hits the wind we are right back in touch. If there is somebody I want to talk Cubs with, he is the guy. The trick to this little meeting was the fact that Cubs season is nowhere near. So we did what great baseball fans do, we dug up the past.
As we hit every season we also hashed out every memory, like the time I ate a hotdog per inning for 10 straight innings (yah it went into extras) or the time we were handed free tickets outside the box office and they happen to be 4 rows up from the dugout. The biggest topic , bizarrly enough, was the “Oh No!” player.
Definition: Oh No! Player
-A player who enters the game, either at the plate or on the mound, and always, predictably, implodes to the point of no return…. Yet they keep coming back.
My friend went through his list of Oh No! players and even recounted a time when La Troy Hawkins was dragged out of the pen in an act of torture exacted on all Cubs fans by the manager. The Cubs had a one run lead heading into the ninth and then came the call and out rolled Hawkins and my friend stood up from the bar and asked for his check and left in a fury! As he left the front door of the bar Hawkins third pitch went yard and the game was tied……I will let you guess who ended up winning. That is an “Oh No!” player!
Here is a list of my Oh No! players, not necessarily in order of suck…..
1) Felix Heredia
2) Antonio Alfonseca
3) Jeff Fassero
4) Sammy Sosa (at times)
5) La Troy Hawkins
6) Milton Bradley
7) Lenny Harris
The list could go on but to save space……
Anyhow, here is my question for you readers……who is your “Oh No!” player? Who is your guy that when he strides to the plate or runs in from the dugout makes you say Oh No! ……check please!