It’s a curse really, but for some reason I can’t forget old jersey numbers. In all honesty there’s no real advantage to remembering that Tuffy Rhodes wore #25 or that Junior Kennedy sported #15.

In an effort to share my pain, here are a few current and former Cubs who quickly come to mind. Yes, it’s a waste of time and energy, but what else are we supposed to do in December? Watch the NBA?

#1—Larry Bowa and Dave Martinez…Both had good gloves, both couldn’t hit to save their lives. One is still on Ryno’s holiday card list. The other, not so much.

#2—Vance Law and Rick Wilkins…I remember being excited when the Cubs acquired Vance Law. I really didn’t know very much about baseball back then.  Maybe I still don’t.

#3—The only name I could remember was former manager Herman Franks. I’m sure I’m missing somebody obvious. I sure wish I could include Dale Murphy on the list.

#4—The great Jeff Blauser and “Fast” Freddie Bynum wore this number with pride!

#5—Nomar Garciaparra and Carlos Zambrano punching bag Michael Barrett are perhaps the most famous #5’s.

#6—Keith “Zonk” Moreland. Great nickname, decent bat, terrible glove. Speaking of terrible gloves, wasn’t Ron Coomer #6?

#7—Say it with me…“Jody, Jody, Jody!” In addition to Jody Davis, Tyler Houston wore lucky #7. It must be a catcher thing.

#8—After briefly sporting #11, Andre Dawson settled on #8 in 1987. I’m pretty sure Gary Gaetti took his signature number in 1998.

#9—Damon Berryhill, Juan Pierre, and Reed Johnson were the first names I could think of.  Too bad Roy Hobbs didn’t play for the Cubs.

#10—I still can’t lose the mental picture of Leon “the Bull” Durham misplaying that grounder during the 1984 playoffs. I guess that’s why the man upstairs invented therapy. Other #10’s include Dave Kingman and Hall of Famer Ron Santo (number retired).

#11—The first player who popped into my head was Luis Salazar. Why do I always remember the most forgettable Cubs? Speaking of which, Ivan DeJesus and Jacques Jones make the list.

#12—Long live the Shawon-O-Meter! And we can’t forget Dusty Baker, “dude.”

#13—Hopefully this number will be retired one day, as it belongs to future superstar Starlin Castro. However, if Cub luck has anything to say about it, Castro will be a major bust whose memory tortures fans for decades to come. You know, like Gary Scott (who was #25 by the way).

#14—Number retired for Mr. Cub, Ernie Banks. However, I looked it up, and here are some #14’s who blazed the trail for the Hall of Famer: Charlie Root, Larry French, and Vallie Eaves. Who says you can’t learn anything useful on the Internet?

#15—In addition to the aforementioned Junior Kennedy, this bunch includes Davy Lopes and the legendary Kevin Orie. It’s hard to believe, but Orie is only 38 years old. I wonder what he’s doing now. Selling insurance? Pumping gas? Tweeting? Chasing popsicle sticks down a gutter on a rainy day?

I know you’re on the edge of your seat, but I think I’ll stop right there (for now). Stay tuned to see how many crappy Cubs I can come up with between 16 and 30!

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