View From The Bleachers

September 22, 2010

Bandwagon Time!

Filed under: Featured,General — Chet West @ 2:10 pm

It’s getting to be that time of year.

It’s a familiar time for Cubs fans.  The MLB Prom (AKA, The Post Season) is around the corner and our date died a slow but much expected death somewhere around the All-Star break.

Every year, around March, we rent a tux, a limo, maybe even purchase a corsage and prepare to lose our World Series virginity.

Every year our date refuses to put out. Yes, we have actually made it to the prom.  Yes, we have hit the dance floor,  but it has been over sixty years since our last “after party” and over 100 since we went…..all the way!

That’s a dry spell!

The After Party

If the “prom” is the post -season,  the World Series is the “After Party”.  Everybody knows the payoff is in the party after the prom and not the actual prom itself.

In the past decade Cubs fans have attended the prom (remember prom= post season) three times.  All three times our date has gone frigid and asked to be driven home before making it to the “after party”.

(I am pretty sure one of those years our date threw up on the way to the prom and we turned the limo around and went home, at least it seemed that way)

So what do you do when your team denies your advances year in and year out.  You find a sure thing and get on it’s bandwagon!

The Sure Thing

Every sure thing has one quality in common; a reputation.

Be careful here, if you choose an obvious slut things could backfire.  You don’t want to be the person that is obvious in their search for a happy ending!  You also don’t want to be the chump who jumps on the “sure things” bandwagon and gets kicked off  (i.e. fails to make it to the after party)……you basically sold your soul and contracted god knows what disease during the foreplay only to fall short of the payoff.

Who might be an obvious slut?  The Yankees for one!

They have been to the World Series 40 Times!  In those 40 after parties they went all the way 27 times!!! This is as sure as sure gets.  They have been to six of the last 11 after parties and went all the way four times!!!

Where baseball is concerned that is promiscuous!

Which brings us to the next quality of a sure thing; desire.

How bad does a team want it? The Reds, Twins, Rays, and Rangers all exhibit this as a top quality. Why? Well, it depends on the team…..

Cincinnati Reds

The Reds haven’t been to the prom in 15 years!!!! Can you imagine that Cubs fans, no post-season at all for 15 years!!! That is something even we can laugh at…..sort of.

Minnesota Twins

The Twins have been to the prom five times in the last decade yet the last World Series was 19 years ago, and yes they went all the way.  However, when you go fives times in a decade and don’t close the deal you start to wonder if it will ever happen again.  Have you lost your mojo?

Plus, the Twins have a brand new dress called Target Field they would like to show off in the national spotlight.

Tampa Bay Rays

They are the relative new kid on the block.  In the league 12 years and a doormat for most of the American League in that time.  In the last three years they hit puberty and grew into themselves nicely. Their first and only visit to the Post-Season came in 2008 where they made it to the after-party only to get sent home early by Philly.

Texas Rangers

The Rangers look like a formidable date for the dance. They are a bit of dark horse in my book and it could take some serious luck to make it to the Series.

If you want to back a team that swims in a similar sea as our beloved Cubs, the Rangers would be your closest bet. Since their entry into the league in 1972 they have managed three playoff appearances and have been a no show at the World Series.

With the injury to Josh Hamilton, their marquee slugger, and his questionable return this may make the Rangers an act of desperation.

If you don’t like any of those…….

………. there is always the Phillies.  Four years ago they would have been a quality choice.  Lately however, they have been quite slutty.

This was a franchise, more or less a city, starved for a championship.  They finally got one in 2008. It had been almost three decades since a professional Philadelphia sports team had won a championship.

The Phillies have taken the NL East crown the last three years and are looking good for a fourth. They have made it to the after-party the last two years and won the big prize in 2008.

This makes them a sleezy choice, but if you are looking for that sure thing, and the Yankees are just too filthy for you, then Philly is your girl (or guy).

My only problem with Philly is that damn Phanatic!  I am not sure what it is supposed to be but it creeps me out.

*I know I have failed to mention the west coast teams but believe me, they are all fake. Go figure, huh?

You could always stay home……

Well, there you have it.  This years best bets to go all the way.  If you are the type of person who can wander from mate to mate then we have given you a salad bar of easy dates for this years post-season.

Of course if you are like me, a dedicated sucker, only one solution will do…..stay home with your one true love and wait ’til next year.

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Chet West is an IT professional living in Minneapolis, MN with his wife and two daughters. He has a pug named Banks and loves photography. Follow him on Twitter @chetwest19

  • jswanson

    Philly Phanatic AKA green Q-Bert in a jersey

  • mrbaseball2usa

    I can’t root for the Reds. Hate Dusty now, and really want to kick Votto ‘you know where’.

  • Chuck

    I am basing my opinions on the standing as of today.
    Teams I can’t root for under any circumstance (unless they were facing a team of neo-Nazis managed by Osama Bin Laden):
    Yankees: Do I need to elaborate?
    Reds: Division Rival + Dusty Baker = No Way Jose
    Braves: I think I just vomited in my mouth…
    Phillies: Becoming the Yankees of the NL.
    Teams I just don’t care one bit about:
    Rays, Giants, Rangers: Zzzzzzzzz…
    That leaves the Twins as my bandwagon team. That fits because they have a few traits that I like.
    1) I love it when Midwest upstarts beat East/West Coast juggernaughts because it means that the mainstream media (I’m looking at you ESPN) must acknowledge that people live between the Appalachian and Rocky Mountains.
    2) They tend to use a lot of home-grown talent. It is a trait that I wish the Cubs would start to emulate. You get more attached to kids you have followed since they were 19 or 20 than some hired gun mercenary.

  • Mr. David M. Beyer

    I know Joe’s heart goes out to the Rays, but I’m pulling for the Twins. Go, Twinkies!

  • mastrick

    Well it’s funny when you have a “slut” in the Phils and “twinks” in Minnesota. And the Cubs are small “bears!” So much for the sexual innuendo.

  • Terrelle Pryor 2

    I be pulling for the Braves for Derrek Lee and the Twins because that would be a kick in the nuts to the White Sox. I’d like to see Thome finally win a ring, and kick Ozzie in the nuts for getting rid of him because he clogs the bases and can’t play the field.

  • Doc Raker

    The Giants, a fine young team. Buster Posey, Sandoval and that pitching staff headed up by that kid Lincecum. Go Giants! For now.

  • Doug S.

    I can never cheer for the Braves or Reds. Real tired of the Yankees and Phillies.
    For the NL I’d take the Padres.
    AL the Twins, only if you guys stop talking about the catcher’s sideburns.

    : )

  • wax_eagle

    Def pulling for the Bravos. I might even try to sneak down to the ATL to catch some playoff action. Depends on dates, dollars and how far they can manage to go. Hopefully they will make it, looking far from a sure thing they way they are playing right now.

    Def the Braves in the NL, will probably be pulling for both the Rays and the Rangers in the AL (if they are playing each other I don’t know who I’ll root for yet). One thing I know for sure is that I will not root for the Yankees and I probably am going to start grouping the Phils into that same category pretty soon.

  • Larry Sproul

    It’s the Twins for me . Gotta like the chances of the underdog . Only time will tell. A friend and neighbor has Ranger season tickets . ( He claimes they go all the way )

    Booked hotel rooms for 3 trips to Wrigley yesterday . So I am not ready to wave a white flag just yet !!

  • Seymour Butts

    Lets put ourselves back in the prom frame of mind. Looking from the point of view of a horny young male ( young, dumb, full of come on don’t make me say it), you just want to go all the way. Attach you wagon to the surest thing slut that will have you. Nice part of just being a fan, they will all have you.
    This means the Yankees. I know, ugly, festering, skank. But very likely to put out on a first date.
    Only after you have scored, can you get buyers remorse in the morning and hunt for someone you can bring home to meet mama. Get your feet wet with a proven payoff, then learn to swim with the classier dates.

    Still, the Yankees suck, go Rays.

  • Chet

    Seymour, I was hoping somebody would connect the dots….thank you.
    About 10 years ago I chose to follow/cheer for the Yankees through the Playoffs and Series. They won the world series and my only memory was the day after, I felt filthy for choosing them, it was too easy…..I would never stoop that low again.

  • Joe

    I’m pulling for:

    1. Tampa
    2. Atlanta
    3. Cincy

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