Hello, Cubs fans. How are you holding up? Here are a few news stories* to make you feel, if not better, at least better informed:
Visionary identity thief heads to the slammer. Some of you may remember a news story back in January of a young man walking into a Utah auto dealership claiming to be Cubs prospect Tyler Colvin and wishing to drive off the lot in a sweet 2010 Dodge pickup. Well, a Utah judge sentenced this soon-to-be-legendary seer, Matthew Van Meter, to a six-month jail sentence yesterday (Monday).
Why am I using terms such as “visionary” and “seer” to refer to a two-bit identity thief who, at the time of the crime, lacked the intelligence to remove papers with his real name from his trade-in vehicle? Simply because Van Meter clearly foresaw back in January what most of us did or could not. Using his preternatural gift, he glimpsed into the future and knew Tyler Colvin would show up to spring training with 25 pounds of rough-hewn muscle. He knew that Colvin would tear apart Cactus League pitching from the first week of games to the last. He knew that Tyler would break camp with the team and, despite inconsistent playing time, put up a .608 slugging percentage in a mere 59 plate appearances.
In short, Matthew Van Meter is the Nostradamus of the Chicago Cubs. And while he serves his hard time in some God-forsaken Utah dungeon, let us hope he gazes into his crystal ball (permitted in low-security facilities) and sees other favorable things for our future – such as a Starlin Castro who gets on top of his throws to first base or a 20-win Andrew Cashner in the starting rotation next season.
Castro is crashing at Soriano’s place. If you’re like me, you’re already sick of reading/hearing about Starlin Castro’s three errors last night. So why not enjoy this nice human interest piece by Carrie Muskat, which reveals that Alfonso Soriano has taken the young Castro under his wing – even to the point of letting Starlin crash at his presumably swank pad for a while.
Worried about Castro’s errors? Just think about Hak-Ju Lee. There I go making a hypocrite of myself. I just said I didn’t want to obsess anymore about Castro’s shaky defense and then I bring it up again. But I do so with a purpose – and that’s the pass along this very exciting scouting report of the Cubs other shortstop prospect: Hak-Ju Lee. All I’ll say right now is don’t be surprised if, someday in the next couple of years, Starlin follows Ryan Theriot’s path to second base to make room for this defensive wiz.
John Grabow could be back tonight. How’s that for great news?! In his defense, Grabow has been troubled by a sore knee for which he received cortisone shot on Saturday.
Oh, right – the Toyota sign thing. This is pretty much old news at this point but, in case you didn’t hear, last week the Commission on Chicago Landmarks approved the Cubs plan to erect the already-legendary glowing red Toyota sign over the left field bleachers. Alderman Tom Tunney still opposes the idea, but the team isn’t convinced it needs the City Council’s approval and appears ready to steamroll over any additional controversy. I don’t believe the sign is actually up yet, though…uh, is it?
Corey Patterson awaits his next chance. With so much muttering and hand-wringing over Cubs prospects past and present in recent days, let’s pay a visit to our old friend KPatt – who is back with the Orioles organization trying to prolong what has been a perhaps surprisingly lengthy professional baseball career.
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*Reddish text = hyperlinks.
