It’s tournament time everyone. This is by far my favorite time of the year. I actually went as far as to sing a messed up version of a Christmas tune to celebrate.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
There’ll be brackets a bustin
‘n folks will be cussin
and calling in sick don’t ya know?

That’s all I’ve got so far, but it’s a work in progress. I love the next few weeks so much. We have March madness separated in between by my birthday on the 24th and then capped off with my national holiday, Opening Day. This will actually be the first time in I don’t know how long that I’ve decided to go into work on opening day. The only reason being that the Cubs play later in the day. If it weren’t for that, my butt would be on the coach all day, disturbance free.

Am I the only one that has an opening day ritual? Even as early as grade school, my mom would let me skip school on opening day and watch baseball. Typically I’ll get takeout of some kind for lunch, usually something like a sampler platter from TGI Fridays and endulge in fatty foods and baseball. Depending on the weather, I even try to play golf in the morning. What’s your opening day tradition? Let’s hear them in the comment section.

Deadspin Funbag Question of the Day:

I don’t know if you’re a reader of www.deadspin.com, but I love the weekly fun bag, with questions of all randomness fielded by Drew. I’d love to run a piece like that weekly or even monthly, so feel free to send me random questions that in no way have to be sports related to joe@viewfromthebleachers.com. Just put Funtastic Friday in the subject so I know what they’re for…or don’t, I don’t care either way.

The plan in the meantime is to pull a random question from their archives that I find particularly amusing and pose it to you for your input and answers on a fairly regular basis. Today’s initial edition is one that came up recently. I actually posed it to my wife today over lunch and surprisingly enough, she didn’t blow it off with a “you’re a moron” type reply. In fact, she actually engaged in a bit of contemplating over the question and semi-participated in the answer.

Assuming you could only use 5 condiments the rest of your life and they were stored in a fresh and never ending supply (one per finger on one of your hands), which condiments would you choose AND which finger would they be stored in?

The question becomes difficult because this would include breakfasts (maple syrup/honey), desserts (chocolate syrup) and of course any lunch/dinner meal you could think of. Salad dressings do not count on their own unless you use them as a dipping sauce/topper (blue cheese for wings).

Which 5 would you choose and in which finger? Why?

I put some thought into this while scarfing down my bison burger at Ruby Tuesday and came up with the following:

Index Finger: Ketchup – It has to be ketchup, because it’s the condiment that I probably use the most, which means it has to be stored in the most accurate finger on my hand. Any other finger tends to be a little less accurate and that doesn’t seem smart for your MVC.

Thumb: Honey: It seems like an odd choice, I know, but I absolutely go ape for some good honey. Ever buy that honey in a big glass jar that didn’t even have the ability squeeze out? That stuff was a mess and gave honey a bad rap. Now, if you can get by the stickyness of the flip cap that takes a moment with the jaws of life to pry open, you’re able to enjoy a sweet sauce that can serve so many functions. It can double as a breakfast treat or top what we call in our house a monkey sandwhich (peanut butter, banana and a drizzle of honey). If it wasn’t so dang dangerous, I’d seriously consider raising bees just to steal that stuff right out from under them,

Middle Finger: A-1 Sauce: I gave this one a lot of thought and feel the only place to put the A-1 is the middle finger. Every time I eat a fat steak (without bones cause I’m weird like that), I put a healthy pond of A-1 on my plate to dip it in. I ask for it in restuarants and people always give you that funny look like you’re committing a cardinal sin that didn’t quite make it in the ten commandments, but was one of the last four out (note the tournament reference). I simply can’t enjoy my steak without it, so putting in the middle finger means you have to extend it while you pour that stuff on your plate. What a perfect message to all those who look down on the act.

Ring Finger: Mayonnaise: I’m not a huge fan of the stuff. By itself, it’s really kind of gross, but I can’t eat tune without it. Since I love me some tuna melts, mayo becomes an essential condiment for my hand.

Pinky Finger: Hot Sauce – I put hot sauce on my eggs. I put hot sauce on my hot dog. It goes in as much food as I can. Oddly enough, I’ve never put it on pizza, though I hear that’s good too. Hot sauce simply has to make the cut.

Just Missed the Cut

- Duck Sauce – I don’t like Chinese food, but could absolutely drink that stuff when I’m done eating an eggroll.
- Honey Mustard from Chili’s – Need I explain?

Random Picture of the Day:


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Joe Aiello is the founder of View From the Bleachers and one of the lead writers as well as host of VFTB Radio. Growing up in Chicago, he fondly remembers attending games in the bleachers before that was the popular thing to do. Currently Joe resides in North Carolina with his wife and three kids. Connect with Joe via Twitter / Facebook / E-mail