View From The Bleachers

January 22, 2010

GirlieView (01/22/2010)

Filed under: Featured,General — Lizzie @ 4:39 pm

Big long 2 week break for Lizzie. Here’s the story, for those of you who missed me. :-) It’s long.

Four+ years ago when we built our house in a brand new subdivision everyone was friendly because we were all new to the area, around the same age and place in life, etc. Everyone was on their best behavior as we all met our new neighbors! One night over a few beers our next-door neighbors told another couple that when they got peeved at their neighbors in their old subdivision, they got back at them by putting in a work order to have their cable disconnected, then sent them 20 pizzas from the local delivery place. They got a big kick out of themselves. The others just shrugged. Who are we to say that we stopped doing that kind of stuff back when we were 12. We were on our best behavior!!!

Shoot forward four years. We’re no longer on our best behavior. We’re not all friends anymore. True colors have shown through the initial niceties. We yelled at our next door neighbor’s 14-year old for kicking their epileptic dog in the head, after which the mother told us to mind our own business since “he’s ONLY 14!!!” Huh? I can teach a 3 year old not to kick a dog. Needless to say we don’t speak to our next-door neighbors any longer. We are on their sh*t list. But anyway enough of that, that’s all just background.

Shoot forward again to last Thursday night. We spot a Comcast truck between our house and theirs. Didn’t think much of it, figured they were having internet problems. Lo and behold, Friday morning we have no internet. Comcast can’t come back out til late Saturday. Whatddya know, ours was disconnected! Fix-it guy couldn’t explain how that “accidentally” happened.

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmm …….

Does this relate at all to Cubs baseball? Nope. Not a whit. I took a week off from the GirlieView while I waited for it to be fixed. Which just gives me more commentary to report on this week! Let’s get to it!

Lizzies

  • The cubs are probably a second place club right now.
  • i guess it’s like a tallest midget contest daver. not much to choose from in this town.
  • did Barry or Sammy ever ask you for advice on how to get rid of that pesky acne?
  • Apparently, Jim Hendry didn’t offer Spears a contract, which is odd because Nate is, y’know, a second baseman.
  • there is nothing better than an afternoon of baseball
  • Oh, let me go check my mailbox……..my invitation must be held up at the post office.
  • Matt “Ol’ Something Eyes” Sinatro
  • Doesn’t he at least merit a few boy scouts and maybe a brownie or two?
  • mmmmm, brownies….in a non-pedophile way of course….strictly food.
  • Pat is great, a true professional.
  • I think it would take even more Zen-like wisdom to deal with Judd “I CAN’T CONTROL THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE” Sirott.
  • Maybe if we go in expecting nothing more than a decent, slightly-above-.500 team, we’ll be pleasantly surprised.
  • Alllllllllllrighty then.
  • the Cubs have hired a full-time nutritionist to help prepare the team’s meals.
  • That nutritionist has his work cut out for him… Silva is listed as 250lbs, but I’d wager he is closer to 350.
  • On the other hand, Theriot and Fontenot can fill up on half-portions, so he’s got that goin’ for him.
  • 2 McNuggets a piece…wonder who gets the Happy Meal toy?
  • I think the Mariners get the happy meal toys.

Lizard

  • I expect Sosa will admit to it five days from now, but will say he used four fewer steroids…

Have a great week!

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Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.

  • http://twitter.com/dat_cubfan_dave dat_cubfan_daver

    Wow, your neighbors scare me. That’s pretty low cutting off your Internet access – and you’re completely correct about the kid and the dog. Thanks as always for the shout-outs!

  • Doc Raker

    Don’t forget about the ole dog poop in a burning bag on the front stoop trick. Simply ring the door bell and watch the fun. And don’t you stomp out any fires on your front stoop.

  • CubbieDude

    Lizzie, I did miss you.

    Are you making plans for your pizza party yet?

    I feel sorry for the dog.

    Well, it sounds like an opportunity to excel has been dropped in your lap. Have fun!

  • Seymour Butts

    Sorry to hear about your neighbor troubles Lizzie, As you know I have a little mischievous streak, and would remind you that revenge can be fun. One of my favorites is to order gay porn magazines in your neighbors name, but to a slightly different address. Perhaps just thinking about doing it will be amusing to you.

    You should know that last night I was at Don and Charlies restaurant in Scottsdale sitting next to Captain Obvious. Doc Raker text-ed us at dinner time that the Lizzies were out. And we both were looking forward to checking them out.

    A monsoon in Phoenix cancelled the baseball tourney we had come for, and Raker didn’t even get out of LA. Fortunately for me I have another week of baseball to play, but most of the others left or are leaving empty handed.

  • Lizzie

    CubbieDude perhaps I can call up all the VFTB’ers to fly/drive in for pizza on VERY short notice. :-)

    I tend to take the high road, though as Seymour said just considering some of these ideas can be almost as amusing as actually following through!

    Seymour I’m flattered to have been brought up in Scottsdale though I’m sorry to hear the baseball tourney got washed out! Good luck next week!

  • cap’n obvious

    Just wondering who was more pathetic, the losers who flew (or drove)to Phoenix for baseball in a swamp, or Doc Raker, who put the thing together and never showed up. We had some fun discussing the View, and some of Raker’s mor famous transgressions in his absence. The Don and Charlie’s experience never disappoints. I am a big fan of the old Beverly Hills Cop trick, the banana in the tailpipe.

  • Doc Raker

    Capn’, Raker even warned you on your way out that this thing could get washed out. At least you go to have dinner at Don and Charlies with Smitty, that’s worth a …………never mind.

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