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Friday

26

June 2009

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COMMENTS

The Chicago…Pandas?

Written by , Posted in General

Taking Joe’s theme of extinction a little bit further…

Let’s look at the word, extinction. Middle syllable is “stink” — and that’s exactly what the Cubs are doing right now. Maybe they won’t stink all year, but they do now. But why?

Let’s take the dinosaur. Or, better yet, the panda. Yes, the panda. On the verge of extinction — but they have no natural enemies. No predator considers the panda. Not as a meal. Not as a threat. No shortage of bamboo. But there they are…almost extinct. Why? Because they are lazy and stupid, I think.

Now let’s take the ballplayer with the long term guaranteed contract. Or huge money short term deal. Some with a no trade clause. They become dinosaurs, er, pandas. Content. Big, lazy, stupid…

In fact, until this team starts playing better baseball, and starts showing some energy and starts winning ballgames, I officially rename them the Chicago Pandas.

Speaking of energy…everyone jumps around like crazy men after a walk off single — why can’t they show that energy DURING the game? Oh, right…because pandas can’t jump.

Sherm

St. Trinian’s buy

Basic movie The Soloist dvd

A Fistful of Dollars move

Crash Landing trailer

  • Doc Raker

    Soriano and Bradley are Panda’s for sure. Dlee is not a panda, he is smart and I think he gives 100% all the time, I question if it is enough with hi spayroll number.

    Here are some facts:
    Hoffa AB’s 131 HR 7 RBI 22 SLUG 481 avg 267
    Brad AB’s 166 HR 5 RBI 16 Slug 386 avg 241
    Fox AB’s 34 HR 1 RBI 9 Slug 559 avg 353 granted small sample size.
    Lee AB’s 222 HR 11 RBI 37 Slug 491 avg 288

    Hoffa has proven he is better than Bradley at this point. Fox certainly shows potential to be better.

    Time for changes so I just thought I would review soem facts for change evaluations.

    I rememember someone saying in the offseason that at the end of the year Hoffa would be our left handed bat and Jim Hendry would be scratching his head saying, ‘so we had it all along’. Who was that, who, who , who oh I must of misremembered.

  • Seymour Butts

    I believe Pandas are numerically challenged due to an unnatural enemy. Man. Deforestation for logging has shrunk their habitat,{there is a bamboo shortage for Panda consumption), and poachers like their fur. They may or not be smarter than your average major leaguer on pot, But I agree they are unlikely to swing at an 0-2 slider in the left-handed batters box.
    You do know that we are playing like dog Gregg and are a whopping 1 game back in the loss column don’t you. a single weeks worth of adequacy would likely have them leading the crappy division.

  • MJ

    A smidege over adequacy, and this division would be theirs!

  • cubbiedude

    At this point, an insult to pandas.