First, let me thank you all for reading. And let me thank you for commenting. I have been enjoying posting my thoughts. Your comments add a certain spice to the whole thing that I find myself enjoying.
Second, I salute your enthusiasm. It is admirable, and I envy you that indulgence. However, let me assure you that youth and enthusiasm are no match for old age and treachery.
Third, for those of you neophyte Cub fans who maybe haven’t been through this before, it is now that we separate the True Cub Fans from the Namby-Pambys. Wanna give up on being a Cub Fan and become a Tibetan monk? Go ahead. Do you find yourself, after only 2 postseason games, reevaluating the choices you’ve made in your life? Well, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Nobody said it was gonna be easy.
Fourth, if you are literally shaking with frustration and looking for something to destroy, may I submit to you The Cubbie Dude’s 4 Step Program For True Cub Fans:
1. Lay off the caffeine.
2. Take a chill pill.
3. Consider anger management classes.
4. Seek professional help.
Fifth, I just this week finished reading a book titled “Your Brain On Cubs”. I recommend it highly to anyone interested in knowing the scientific basis as well as the psychologic and neurologic explanations for being a True Cub Fan.
Sixth, adopting a personal mantra might help, particularly in difficult times. Here are two of my favorites: “Take it like a man”, and “Never underestimate the value of lowered expectations”.
Seventh, if you are not averse to music therapy, I recommend “Relaxing Music for Difficult Situations, I” by Stanley Jordan. I plan to be listening to that soundtrack during the game tomorrow.
Eighth, breathe deeply.
Ninth, remember what Lou said (I’m paraphrasing here): “This is not life or death. This is not life AND death. It’s a game; it’s entertainment.”
Tenth, keep in mind that as a True Cub Fan you follow in the footsteps of those who have gone before you, and you are blazing a trail for those to follow. This is a sacred trust. Not all are up to the challenge.