As I’ve written many times this season, the Cubs march to the Central Division was mind numbingly agonizing, nail biting, stomach twisting, infuriating, and occasionally joyful. One word I refused to use to describe it was “magical.” Not once this season did I ever have the euphoric feelings I had in 2003, almost like there was some sort of higher power making sure that the Lovable Losers would triumph no matter what got in their way. This year I never had those same feelings. That’s not to say I didn’t think they couldn’t do it, I just never really believed they would.

After watching or listening to what I guesstimate at around 90% of all of the Cubs games this season, I’m angry. I’m angry that I wasted my time yet again on another season thinking, praying, hoping, that this was the year. False hopes dashed yet again. In March I’ll be 33 years old. In that time, I’ve seen the Cubs win only four division titles, one wild card berth, and totally implode with the World Series within their grasp twice. Honestly, I don’t know how some of Cubs fans of older generations can put any time into this club over and over. I’m sick to my stomach, and really peeved that I just watched a team look like it was going through the motions against the Diamondbacks. That’s not taking anything away from Arizona, they’re a good team whose record reflects that. Good lord, did the Cubs even look like they were trying? Not to me. In the three divisional series games, I watched only game one all the way through. By Saturday, I turned it off in the sixth and popped in Batman Begins. I couldn’t take anymore. One word, disgusted. OK, two words. Disgusted and embarrassed. For the first time in my life, I’m embarrassed at being a Cubs fan.

Does that make me a bad Cub fan? Maybe. But I’ve had enough. How can a club go what will be 100 years without a world title? Why does it take 99 years, for an Interim President to make an edict of “it’s time to start winning?” Oh yeah, suddenly ownership decides to really open the purse strings to get some major free agents. Too bad the crop wasn’t so great. I’m a twit. I got excited that things were turning around, look where it got me. The same spot I was in as a kid in ’84, and like 2003 a depressive funk again. People wonder why I’m a pessimist when it comes to sharing my thoughts on this northside organization. Pah-lease. The product I just watched was awful, and I’m not talking about TBS’ horrendous coverage. Even my own mother, who doesn’t watch baseball regularly said, “They looked like they were throwing the games.” Amen. I almost wondered that myself more than a few times.

I’ve invested enough of my time and money into the Cubs, why can’t they repay the favor? I’ve purchsed so many hats, shirts, tickets, $5 Old Styles, nachos, hot dogs, and chocolate malt cups, I could of bought a small farm. Come on guys, give some back. Not just to me, but the legions of fans across the country. I think it’s pathetic that the media points out fans in the crowd that are in their 80’s and 90’s and still haven’t seen a World Series trophy with “Chicago Cubs” engraved on it. This is funny? Cute? Acceptable? For the fans that left early Saturday, I salute you. Don’t stand for this garbage anymore, we all deserve better. Perhaps booing, which I disagreed with earlier this year, is good. What we all watched wasn’t worthy of five cent toilet paper.

This isn’t a sick twisted joke anymore. Screw the moronic curse talk, get rid of the “L” flag, drop the Van Halen “Jump,” and mandate that any mention of Bartman from the media gets their credentials revoked. Let’s live in the now, and right this ship, and make this a feared team across the league. I don’t want to see another half assed attempt at getting this team to the next level. I’ve watched it too many times, only to watch the Cubs fall flat on their faces the next season. We all know where that heads, back into another five year funk of craptacular baseball.

I’ve had enough. Shouldn’t the Cubs?

Matt’s “From Right Field” appears every Monday on VFTB.

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Been blogging on VFTB since 2006. It's been a long silly run thus far. I still play baseball in the Chicago North Men's Senior Baseball League.