The Cubs have lost three out of the last four games and are back to eighteen games below .500. As the last ember of hope for Dusty’s career in Chicago begins to flicker and darken, Chicago fans are now vexed with a new enigma – who will be the new manager’s favorite that fans will love to hate? Here are some of the prime candidates:
Glendon Rusch: Glendon might possibly be the easiest pitcher to hit in all of baseball. Opposing batters hit .302 last year against Glendon and Cubs GM Jim Hendry rewarded him with a two year contract that will cost the Cubs $3.25 million next year. This year his ERA of 7.44 and WHIP of 1.70 might qualify him as baseball’s worst pitcher. Rusch was reactivated prior to today’s game.
Cesar Izturis: Cubs fans will rapidly grow tired of this guy and his anemic bat. Izturis is a natural rally-killer and has frequent injuries – in the past few years he’s had numerous hamstring pulls, back spasms and his recent Tommy John surgery made him a “must get” for Hendry. Izturis is currently suffering another bout with a bad hammy and will cost the Cubs $4.15 million next year.
John Mabry: I was hoping this guy would be a potent bat off the Cubs bench this year – instead he’s been a semi-frequent starter who can’t hit his way out of a wet paper bag. His .223 batting average underwhelms even the likes of Neifi and Jose Macias; look for Mabry to play next year for the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters or the Rakkuten Golden Eagles.
Will Ohman: Here’s the guy you go to when you want to blow a lead and get trash thrown on the warning track in front of the bleachers. His 4.88 ERA doesn’t really tell the story because Ohman specializes in letting inherited baserunners score. Will has seized opportunity by the forelock – he took the uniform number “13” the day after Neifi left. If he comes back to the Cubs next year it’s because he has something on somebody in the Cubs management.
Ryan Dempster: Ryan’s a good guy but his 1-5 record and six blown saves just ain’t gonna cut it for a closer. That’s one out of every five opportunities and we all know there have been some games where he nearly gave the faithful heart attacks before earning a save.
Well that’s my list, feel free to cast your vote in the comments!