This comes from The Onion and is very funny.
Disabled List Offers Mark Prior Two-Year, $8 Million Extension
CHICAGO—Mark Prior, the right-handed pitcher who has spent the first few years of his career on the disabled list, is now considering accepting a recent two-year, $8 million offer from the DL that would keep him not playing through the 2008 season. “I couldn’t even imagine the DL without Mark Prior—over the years, he has become the face, stiff right elbow, strained subscapularis muscle, and inflamed Achilles tendon of our organization,” said Kirk Gibson, manager and longtime former member of the DL, which is currently rebuilding by claiming young arms such as Kerry Wood, Ben Sheets, and Mike Maroth. “We firmly believe that Mark’s best injuries are still ahead of him.” While Prior’s agent says the pitcher is exploring his options, experts predict that it is “inevitable” that Prior will return to the DL and, with the loyalty he’s shown in the past, likely finish his career there.